12

"Well thank God she's alright," Garcia said. "I was really worried you guys might be too late." Morgan nodded.

"Yeah so were we," He said truthfully. He sat down in a desk chair and sighed, closing his eyes. Garcia glanced at him and giggled.

"What are you laughin' at?" Morgan asked, opening one eye. Garcia grinned.

"Well, I told J.J. that it was gonna be hard for you guys to solve a case without Reid and, low and behold, ya didn't. Guess ya can't live without a genius huh?" She said, her smile turning wry. Morgan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah you were right, happy?" He admitted. Garcia nodded.

"She giving the 'I told you so' speech?" J.J. asked. Morgan nodded.

"Well, for once I proved the profilers wrong," Garcia said, her voice almost childlike. "And I think I can rub it in your face for a little bit." Morgan laughed.

"Sure Baby Girl, knock yourself out." He said. Garcia grinned again. Morgan looked over his shoulder at Spencer. He had his elbows propped on the desk he was sitting at, his hands pressing on either side of his temples, looking frustrated.

"We need to try something else," Hotch said, startling Morgan. "Apparently this isn't working."

"What else can we do?" Prentice asked. "Nothing else worked to begin with, that's why Dr. Manning went straight to the drug."

"Yeah and look how much good it's done," Morgan retaliated. "He has some memories but they don't even feel like they're his. He's had to remember things that he doesn't understand, and on top of that, he's being affected by the side affects of the Amytal."

"I know." Emily said.

"I don't know what to do," Hotch said.

"I don't think any of us do." Garcia said. They were silent for a long time.

"Gideon," Hotch said. "Any ideas?" Gideon was looking at the floor, brows creased, hand on his chin. He shook his head after a moment.

Morgan sighed and stood, walking over to Reid. Nothing was going to get done with people just sitting around.

"Hey kid," Morgan said. Spencer jumped, startled by his sudden presence. "Sorry," Morgan said. Spencer resumed his original position. "What're ya doing?" He asked. Spencer looked up from the book and looked at him. God he looked exhausted.

"Trying to decipher this thing," He said hoarsely, shoving the book away from him. "I mean, I can read, but I don't understand what all of this means," He paused. "I think I'm going to give myself an aneurism." He croaked. Morgan laughed.

"What the heck are we gonna do?" Morgan asked. Spencer shrugged.

"I don't know. That seems to be the only thing I say." Morgan sat at the desk next to him, turning the chair so he could face him.

"Can you explain it to me?" He asked. Spencer looked confused. "Like, how it is to…"

"Not know anything?" Spencer finished. Morgan nodded. "When I first woke up, everything was like this black hole. It was just empty. I knew basic stuff. Numbers, letters, words. How to read. But when I tried to figure out what my name was…it was like looking for something that was never there to begin with. Pointless. And then, hearing other people talk, emotions, words I didn't get, other people that knew me and I had no clue who they were. People looking to me for answers and there was nothing I could say to give them what they wanted.

"Then there were things I could do, that I knew wasn't normal. I watched somebody read a newspaper and it seemed to take him awhile to finish it. I read the same thing in less than two minutes. He looked at me weird." Spencer swallowed. His voice was coarse, like he'd been yelling for a long time, his eyes were blood shot, his cheeks flushed. He looked like he'd been through Hell. "And then looking at that board in there. Knowing who the bad guy was when I had no idea what I was doing.

"Then the memories. I saw…horrible things happen, but it was like it wasn't real. And that added to the thousands of things I didn't understand. It's just blank Morgan. I know who I was, but it's not me now. I…I don't know how to explain it." His voice had died to a whisper, looking at his hands.

"I get it Spencer." Morgan said. Spencer looked up at him, his brown eyes full of relief.

"You do?" He rasped. Morgan nodded. Spencer looked at his hands again. "Thank you." They sat in silence for a long moment.

"I think we should head over there," Morgan said. "We're trying to figure out how to, get you back to normal." Spencer nodded and stood.

"Okay." He said. The roughness of his voice made Morgan wonder how bad his throat hurt. He shook his head and followed him to the group who usually had all the answers, but was at an utter loss right now.

It felt strange talking to Morgan like that. But I needed to talk to someone. And when he'd asked me so directly, I thought I'd just let it out. I did feel a little better. Well, mentally. Physically, I felt awful.

I looked at the concerned faces around me, no closer to a solution than they had been three days ago. I felt dizzy again and wondered if it was the- Fee Vere?- or another memory. I hoped it was the Fee Vere.

"So, did I help?" I asked quietly, my voice tearing at my searing throat. Emily smiled.

"You solved the case Spencer." She said. That made me feel better too, but not by much. Everyone looked so serious, so worried. That dashed any good feeling I had and replaced it with fear. I was terrified at what would happen if I had to live the rest of my life as someone I didn't know. I took a shaky deep breath and looked at them.

"Look," I said. "If we can't figure out a way to get me back to normal then…it's okay." Each head that had been looking at the floor shot up and looked at me. "You tried everything you could to help, and thank you for that. But, I'll be okay. Really." I assured, trying to keep my voice from breaking. Gideon stood and took a step toward me.

"Spencer, say your name." He said. I was confused. Why would that help solve anything?

"Why?" I asked. Gideon smiled gently.

"Just trust me on this." He said. How could I not? I had no reason not to.

"So, just say my name?" I asked. Gideon nodded. "Spencer." I said.

It was like a light switch turned on. Everything rushed back in such a fury I thought my head would explode. Every second of my life seemed to plow its way back in and then…everything went black.

--Uh-oh cliffie! Don't ya hate me? Push that pretty button down there and tell me. Pleeeaaassee? : ) --