"Sirs, I suggest the rest of us discuss how we are going to get out of this mess,"

They all went to the midsection and sat at the table, Rimmer and Lister at opposite ends, and Holly on the screen behind them.

"By the way," Holly informed them, "We're also buried several feet down in the snow, and we may have fixed the back-up but we haven't fixed the engines, so even if we dig ourselves out and find the parts, we're smegged if we can't fix the engines,"

"Great," Rimmer said, that being the only contribution he had made to the conversation. Well, that and 'Gimboid,'

"Let's just concentrate on getting the parts back," Lister muttered, "We'll think o' the rest later,"

"Hey guys!" Cat grinned, in a total different outfit, twirling into the room after they had sat and pondered for a good while, "What did I miss?"

Kryten launched into a long and detailed explanation, whilst Rimmer and Lister made angry faces at one another.

"You lost me at 'basically'," Cat said blankly.

Lister sighed, "Okay. One of us has gotta go out in that and try and find the parts,"

"Well it aint gonna be me!" Cat exclaimed, "I'm too good to freeze,"

"It's not gonna be you anyway," Lister said, "It's gonna be me,"

"But Sir!" Kryten objected, concerned, "It's bitterly cold out there, might I suggest that Mr Rimmer goes instead? After all, he can switch to soft-light and not feel the cold,"

Lister saw Rimmer open his mouth to protest, so he said loudly, "Well he aint gonna go out in it is he?" and got up to go and get his coat, muttering, "Too much of a spineless, gutless, smegger," just loud enough for Rimmer to hear.

In response, the hologram leapt up from the table and barged past him, "I think you'll find I am coming,"

Lister grinned victoriously to himself; that plan had worked nicely. If they were both stuck in the middle of nowhere, Rimmer wouldn't be able to walk away when he tried to apologise.

Rimmer may not have been able to walk away, but he was able to walk fast, much faster than Lister, who hadn't been expecting him to be able to power-walk through such extreme conditions. Nor had he been expecting the severe blizzard that greeted them as they left Starbug, or the bone-penetrating sub-zero temperature.

"Rimmer!" he yelled, hardly able to breathe, "RIMMER!"

The soft-light hologram turned around, glaring through the snow, "What?" He yelled back.

"Stop walking so smegging fast!" Lister gasped, "And I need to talk to ya!"

Rimmer waited for him to catch up and then shouted over the howling wind; "I came here to look for the parts, not have a conversation!" he started walking again.

"Rimmer, wait! RIMMER! You know what, fine!" Lister bellowed, trudging along, "I give up!"

They walked for what felt like ages; even Rimmer was tired and had slowed to Lister's pace. The blizzard made it almost impossible to see anything.

"This is ridiculous!" Rimmer cried, "It's like looking for your Kiniterwowe bride in a wig shop!"

Lister, shuddering violently, nodded weakly, "L- Let's go back…" he stuttered.

Rimmer frowned as he looked at Lister; he didn't look so good, "Er… how cold is it exactly?"

"Why don't ya switch to hard-light and find out?" Lister replied.

Rimmer did so and drew his breath in sharply as the cold hit him, "W- Why didn't you tell m- me it was this sodding cold?!"

"Well I thought ya might of smegging noticed!" Lister shouted back with added anger, "And you weren't talking to me! In fact, why are you even talking to me now?!"

"Because you look worse than that time Kryten offered you a bunch of grapes!"

"Well I feel fine. Okay?" Lister glared, waveringly. He started walking again.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah! What do you care anyway? Leave me alone!"

However, as they went on, Lister began to feel worse and worse. And more and more cold and tired, so tired, until he couldn't go on anymore, and he sank to the floor with a moan.

"Lister?" Rimmer turned to his bunkmate, "Lister, get up!"

"I- I can't…" he replied feebly, "I'm so cold…"

"Lister!" Rimmer said, helplessly, panic rising.

"Just let me sleep…" he whimpered, lying down in the snow.

"No! No Lister, don't do that!" Rimmer knelt down beside him and helped him up into a sitting position, "Come on please try to get up!"

Lister frowned faintly, his head lolling, "Can't… I'm too… too tired…" he closed his eyes.

"Lister! Lister!" Rimmer cried, struggling to hear him over the shrieking blizzard, "Lister, can you hear me? Lister, look at me!"

In response, Lister briefly opened his eyes but they were unfocused. Smeg. Rimmer thought, looking around franticly for some sort of help, but then his conscience rather crudely screamed at him, what are you expecting to see, the fairy smegging Godmother? You're the only one who can help him, so don't just sit there like a git, HELP HIM!!"

And so Rimmer lifted up him up, and started towards the way they came, carrying an almost unconscious Lister.

"Oh I knew I shouldn't have let them go!" Kryten wailed in a high pitched tone.

Holly and Cat gave each other an exasperated look.

"Will you shut up Panel-Head!?" Cat hissed, making the pilot seat spin, "You're really beginning to get on my nerves!"

"But I've let them go out all alone!" The mechanoid squealed. The fact that they had lost contact with them just minutes after they had left the ship didn't exactly help matters.

Cat made a face, "If he doesn't shut up I'm gonna-"

"Hang on a mo," Holly interrupted conveniently, "Quick, take a look at this!"

They looked at the screen.

Cat blinked several times, "Either that's Goal-Post Head carrying Donkey Breath, or I need a lie down!"

"Mister Lister!" Kryten yelled, clanking off at high speed to open the door, with Cat following him.

Rimmer, walked in, exhausted, "What are you all staring at?" he panted, "Hurry up and get to the medi-bay, it's like carrying Gulliver back from his travels!"

Kryten rushed off, wailing to himself.

Rimmer, still managing to hold Lister, began to march past the Cat, who was watching with raised eyebrows, "If you really find it that interesting, take a picture Fish Breath!"

"Don't worry," Holly piped up, "I already have," it appeared on the screen, "I think it'll make a nice background for the Navi-Comp, don't you?"

"Will he be alright?" Rimmer asked later, standing by the bed where Lister was sleeping.

"Yes he should be fine Sir, now he's warming up," Kryten replied.

Rimmer sat down and ran a hand through his hair. What a day. He looked over at Lister again and thought how ridiculous they had been lately, with their arguing. He looked away again, rested his elbows on his knees and bent his head down, trying to ease the pain in the back of his neck and in his back.

"Sir," Kryten said, breaking the silence, "Might I ask why you and Mr Lister have to argue so much? I mean, you go from arguing all day and night, to saving his life…"

"I do not know Kryten," Rimmer replied, not looking up, "We've always argued. But in a way, if we didn't… well we wouldn't be Rimmer and Lister,"

"I don't quite follow you Sir…"

"Well if we didn't argue over the most outrageous things for the most ludicrous amount of time, we wouldn't be us; that's what we do," Rimmer replied, only realising it as he said it.

"Hey!" Cat appeared in the doorway, "When is it dinner time? I'm hungry!"

"Shhh!" Kryten clucked, waving his hands, "Goodness me, that's all you've been asking me Mr Cat! Please come out of this room, Mr Lister needs his rest!"

Rimmer looked up, watched them both make a clamouous exit, then put his head down again, and rested his hands on the back of his neck.

"Smeghead? That you?"

"Lister?" Rimmer looked up again.

"Heeeeey Rimmer…." Lister mumbled, turning his head from side to side.

"How do you feel?"

"With me 'ands…" Lister replied, grinning inanely.

"Very funny," Rimmer shook his head, "I can see you're fine,"

"Why do ya look so smegged off?" Lister asked, looking at the hologram enquiringly.

"Did you forget that you called me a git?"

"That's because you are," Lister smiled.

"Oh do you know what, I'm not in the mood," Rimmer said, getting up crossly and leaving the room.

"Rimmer! Rimmer, wait! I'm only joking! Rimmer! Oh, what is wrong with you?" Lister shouted, sighing exasperatedly.

After a few minutes, he sat up and looked around the medi-bay. How the smeg, did I get here anyway? He thought, rubbing his face.

"Mister Lister Sir!" Kryten fussed, hurrying into the room with the Cat behind him, "How are you feeling?" he handed Lister a tray of soup.

"Not bad… what's this?" Lister asked, looking down at it.

"Vindaloo soup Sir," Kryten replied.

"Brutal! Thanks Krytes!" Lister grinned.

"Now," Cat said, turning to Kryten, "Are you gonna tell him the horrific news or shall I?"

"Horrific news?" Lister looked up at them, concerned.

"Er, horrific news Sir?" Kryten asked, looking at the Cat, who leaned in close to him and whispered something inaudible.

"But that's wonderful news Sir!" Kryten replied, "Mister Lister wouldn't have survived if wasn't for Mr Rimmer!"

"Hello, what are you guys talking about?!" Lister demanded.

"Let me explain Sir," Kryten began, "When-"

"You really should eat first," Cat interjected, "It'll put you off!"

"Just carry on Kryties!" Lister said over the Cat.

"Well," Kryten began again, "When you and Mr Rimmer went out to find the Starbug parts in such perilous weather, you got too cold, and became ill, and if it wasn't for Mr Rimmer… you may not have survived!" he ended the sentence in a high-pitched, tearful squeal.

"Kryten, Kryten!" Lister sighed, "What exactly did Rimmer do?"

"He carried you all the way back to the Bug Sir,"

"You what?" Lister asked, bemused.

"It's true," Holly said, appearing on the screen, "We took the picture, see…"

"Smeggin' 'ell!" Lister stared at the screen, "Rimmer did that…"

"Yup," Holly said simply.

"And all I've ever done is treat 'im like smeg…"

"Yup," Holly repeated.

"He must hate me now…"

"Yup-"

"Hol! Belt up man!"

"Alright, keep your dreads on!" Holly replied, frowning.

"Krytes, where'd Rimmer go?" Lister asked.

"I don't know Sir," the mechanoid answered, "But please, take a few more minutes rest and eat before you get up Sir,"

"Alright, fine," Lister replied, "But then I've gotta go find 'im,"

"We'll leave you in peace Sir," Kryten said, shooing the dancing Cat out of the room as he left.

"Right, hand me that…" Rimmer instructed, waving his finger in the direction of the toolbox.

"I'm just looking so nice!" Cat beamed, grinning at his reflection in a spanner.

"I said hand me that!" Rimmer screeched angrily.

"Here you are Mr Rimmer," Kryten said, handing him the screwdriver instead.

"Not that," Rimmer groaned, in despair, "That." he whipped the spanner out of the Cat's hands.

"Hey, do you mind!"

"Not at all Garfield!" the hologram retorted.

Rimmer had now acquired a headache to go with his back and neck ache. He had tried to take his mind off everything by doing something engaging and useful, like fixing the engines. Or at least attempting to, but Kryten and the Cat, who had insisted on helping-- well, Kryten had, the Cat had just been dragged into it-- were driving him insane.

"Gordon Bennet," Holly said, appearing, "It looks worse than when we started,"

"And so will you if you don't dry up," Rimmer snarled, "Now, you can all either buck up, or get out of my smegging sight, because I have had a right sodding day, and if one more thing goes wrong I AM GOING TO GO POTTY!"

The others stood gormless, in silence, whilst Rimmer's voice echoed around the engine room.

"Rimmer…"

They all turned around to see Lister standing in the doorway.

Rimmer raised his eyebrows in reply.

"Can… can I talk to you…?" Lister asked, shifting awkwardly and looking at the floor.

"We'll just leave you two lovebirds alone…" Cat grinned, leaving the room with Kryten.

Now in the silence, with Rimmer glaring at him indignantly, Lister carried on looking at the floor, unsure of how or where to begin.

"Well say what you've got to say then,"

"… If, if I start to explain, you've got to promise me something…"

"What."

"That you won't walk away…"

"…"

"And that you'll hear me out…" Lister shuffled his feet.

"Fine."

"Okay… these past weeks we've been arguing non-stop, and it's stupid…" he gave Rimmer an awkward glance; he looked as if he was listening at least, "And yesterday, when I called you a git… I didn't mean it, I'm sorry…"

There was a pause.

"You were right," Rimmer said miserably, "I am a git. I deserved it,"

Lister looked up at him surprised, "You're not…"

"I am,"

"Rimmer, I'm not starting another argument over whether you're a git or not," Lister said defiantly, "You aren't, alright, if you were a git you wouldn't have carried me all the way back to Starbug in a smegging blizzard…" he gave a slight smile, "Thanks…"

Rimmer nodded and looked at his feet; "Well…" he shrugged.

"You're not a git, just a bit of a Smeghead," Lister grinned.

At first Rimmer looked furious and looked up to glare at his bunkmate. Then when he saw Lister's face he gave a slight smile and chuckled, "I guess you're right…"

Lister nodded, "Yeh,"

"But I'm sorry too; it's not as if it's your entire fault…"

"I know," Lister said dismissively, "Can we call a truce?" held out his hand for a handshake.

Rimmer stepped forward.

"Sorry," They said together as they shook hands.

Red Dwarf

It's cold outside,

There's no kind of atmosphere,

I'm all alone,

More or less,

Let me fly far away from here,

Fun, fun, fun,

In the sun, sun, sun,

I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,

drinking fresh mango juice,

Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,

Fun, fun, fun

In the sun, sun, sun,

Fun, fun, fun

In the sun, sun, sun

A/N: Well that's it, my first finished fanfic! :D Thanks to everyone for your reviews, hope you all enjoyed it and are looking forward to the sequel! But first, the Rimmer/ Kochanski fic! :D

Nirvanah xx