Chapter four: Speak now

We walked on to the back porch and headed towards the chairs that were set up for outside gatherings. We took seats across from each other. For, what seemed a long while, we sat in silence. I looked at my hands, fidgeting, not really sure if I could face Rosalie. I didn't want to break the silence with mindless gibberish so I waited until I had the right things to say, but Rosalie spoke first.

"Bella…I would like you to know," She hesitated. I never thought she would have this much trouble speaking, especially to me. "Bella I want you to know that I am happy for you and Edward. I think you are making a good decision." This surprised me, I was thinking along very different lines of what she would say.

"You are happy? You can accept that I am going to become one of you?" I said this with more hope than confidence, because I was not convinced that she was okay with the idea with me being changed.

"I can accept it yes, but I am not happy with your decision." She looked sad, like if she was hurting her best friend's feelings. "Bella there is so much to life that you have not seen, experiences that you will never get because you will never age, life will never be apart of you, ever. Do you understand?" I believe that if she were able to she would have started crying. "Please know that I do not for one second resent the life that I have, well not anymore. I have a man who loves me and a family that cares more about my feelings then what they can get out of my looks. This life treats me, at times, better than my human life did. Yet if there was some way that I could make it so that I was not what I am and I could have Emmett and we could get married and have children, grow old and watch over our grandchildren, I would make it so. Bella I have told you before, you have life, you have the choice and you are choosing death," I cringed at that thought. I never saw death in my decision only life with Edward and his family. I had to make her understand I had to let her know.

"Rosalie…" my voice cracked. I was touched be her concern and a bit hurt by her choice of words, I soon started to cry. "Rosalie please believe me when I tell you, I did not have a 'life' until I met your brother. As you probably can tell by now I am not the prettiest or most coordinated person. I was alone, I didn't fit in anywhere. My best friend in Phoenix was my mother and even then I wasn't as close to her as I would have liked." I think my emotion behind my words let Rosalie really see and understand what I was saying. "You all are so great and the fact that you accepted me was…is amazing." The tears were already streaming down my face. I was having a hard time talking but I had to let her know. "In all the places where I was supposed to fit in I couldn't and now, here is a place where I should be running from, I feel the most comfortable I have ever been. Even with all the clumsiness, misunderstandings and differences I am still accepted."

I put my head down I didn't know what else to say to let her know that this is the right choice. I would have nothing without Edward or his family. In a few moments I felt her arms wrap around my shoulders, even though she was cold I felt the warmth behind her gesture. I continued to sob and Edward appeared, "Why is Bella crying?" He was angry, I could tell by his tone. I looked up and tried to give him a smile to let him know I was okay, but he didn't seem convinced with that. Rose and I had pulled away from each other.

"Bella was explaining to me her reasons to marrying you dear Edward," she was trying to compose herself, "and I believe that she is choosing wisely," she finished looking at me. She held out her hand for me and I took it. She smiled and said, "Now I am happy, you have shown me that you can't get what you want out of the life you have now and so you choose the path that will give it to you," she stood and I followed. We walked to Edward and she took his hand, and then placed mine in his. "This is the path that will give you happiness," she said with a shy smile, but love in her eyes. "Edward is the life you have longed for; A life with love, friendship and acceptance. With Edward you gain this with not only him but…"

"With all of us," Emmett said walking to his wife hugging her from behind.

"Yes Bella, you are very dear to us and you have impacted our lives just as much as you claim we have changed yours," Esme entered the conversation with Carlisle not far behind. "Though Edward is your mate you have given us all something that we have been missing without quite knowing it was needed."

"You've given me a best friend and another sister," Alice said with a nudge to Rosalie.

"You have provided my home with a new happiness," Carlisle looked at me with appreciation in his eyes.

"You have given me another person to tease," Emmett winked at me. This made me laugh through my tears.

"You have shared with me forgiveness," Jasper said with apologies in his eyes and I looked at him knowing that he knew I forgave him and never blamed him but still he had his guilt.

"You have provided me with understanding," Rosalie whispered. I smiled my tears had stopped and I looked around. There they were my future family members. Ones that I will love befriend and accept forever. They all smiled at me and each gave me a hug before returning to the house. Then I was left with Edward who was standing there smiling holding my hands in his, "Would you like to know what you have given me?"

"Yes," I said in a quiet whisper. He bent down kissed my lips softly. Then he kissed my cheek and rested his cheek where his lips had been and whispered, "Your love," in my ear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted and twirled. We laughed and kissed and then he set me down. I just couldn't stop smiling at him.

"That is just too funny," I finally said.

"Why is that so funny my love?" he asked while brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Because that is exactly what you have given me," he smiled his perfect crooked smile, "And that is more than I could ever ask for," he was going to speak, "but you are still changing me."

His smile fell a bit, "I could not stand not living life without you…"

"I feel the same way," I interrupted, "but please remember one thing."

"And what is that?"

"That we will be living," I got on my toes to lightly kiss his lips. He wrapped his arms around me once again and we walked back into the house to join our family.