Chapter five: Understanding

The next few days passed without any arguments or any hint of an argument. When I woke up in the mornings Charlie would already be gone and when I came home he would be watching the television not really looking at me. As we ate we didn't talk, which was odd to me because dinner time was usually when Charlie saw his open spot to talk to me or ask me about something, but he didn't. Edward said that Charlie was just trying to find a way to speak to me without sounding over-powering.

On the fourth day, after I announced my engagement, I woke up and Edward was reading in the rocking chair, "You've read that one too many times," I teased. Edward raised a finger to his lips signaling for me to stay quiet. "Why do I need to lower my voice?" I whispered, "Charlie is…" Edward was shaking his head before I could finish. "Charlie is home?" He nodded his head for a yes. That was strange Charlie did not mention that he was not going in today. I got up went to Edward and sat in his lap. He wrapped his arms around me to bring me in closer and rested his head on top of mine.

"I think you should go down to him," Edward finally whispered, "He seems very anxious about something." I looked at him with a puzzling look, "Don't you know what it is?" I asked.

"No," he frowned, "He is keeping that detail from his mind. I believe that he is concentrating on your reaction more than what he will do or say." This made me nervous. Charlie was a fidgety person, when it came to important conversations, already but if he was this uneasy it had to be something I really wasn't going to enjoy. Not that I was planning to enjoy any confrontation with my father, just that there would be more yelling instead of talking.

"Alright I better get this over with," I tried my best to smile at him; he knew I was nervous. He kissed my forehead set me down, stood and left out the window, but not before saying that he would be back soon. I sighed and went to the bathroom to freshen up and get rid of the sleep in my eyes. When I was finished I walked downstairs as usual and headed for the kitchen. Charlie was not there. I just continued with my routine of getting breakfast and sitting at the table to eat it, and that was when he came out.

"Morning Bells," he said quietly. I looked up and smiled at my father hoping to bring down his anxiety a little.

"Morning Dad. I didn't know you were staying home today."

"Well it is Saturday not much going on. I did make some plans though, do you feel like spending some time with your old man or would you rather spend it with Edward?" He stared at me hoping that I would spend that day with him. I knew my dad needed to be comfortable in some way to stay calm and if spending time alone with him will do it then that is what I will do. "Sure dad, I just call Edward and let him know that we are going to spend the day together." This made him smile wider than I think I had ever seen him smile.

"Okay great, well make sure to dress comfortable, we will be spending the day outdoors." I did not know what was going on in his head or what the day was going to be like, but I knew at the end of it Charlie and I would argue.

I finished my cereal and washed my bowl and spoon, then grabbed the phone. I dialed Edward's number and he picked up after the first ring, as always. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yes I am fine, it seems like he was nervous about asking if I would spend the day with him."

"Well I guess he has changed his mind on speaking to you, but you know one call to Alice and we shall have the truth."

"No, I know he still wants to 'talk' about our engagement I just think he wants me completely to himself without distraction." I teased on the last word.

"Hmm. I wonder where your attention would be, if not on the topic of conversation."

"Though the topic is my distraction?"

"Silly Bella. So am I to miss you for the day?"

"Yes, I will be spending the day with Charlie," I said with a sigh.

"That is fine my love, but I can go see you before you leave just so that I may have one more moment with you before the day takes you from me," I smiled he was so sweet. "Hey stop reading my mind," I teased and he let out a playful growl and hung up the phone. I hurried up the stairs being as careful as I could be so that I wouldn't fall. I entered my room and he was already there standing in front of my window, with his perfect crooked smile. I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I have something for you," he said and I groaned. "Well in reality it is for me, but it will be in your possession." This confused me it was too early to think that way, so I looked up at him with a questioning look.

"So you brought something for me that benefits you?" I asked knowing this would make him laugh and he did.

"Yes, that is correct." I sighed he knew I did not like that he spent money on me but before I could protest he pulled out my gift. It was a cell phone. I looked at it questioningly. Why would he need to give me a cell phone? I was always with him.

"Edward what are you not telling me?" I asked a little hurt that he was keeping something from me.

"Alice saw something," I looked at him angrily because I did not want him to ask Alice about my father or me, "Well it was the lack of what she saw that worried me." Then I knew what was going on. Alice did not see my near future and that only meant that I was going to be in La Push, in company of a werewolf. I unwound my arms from Edward and began to rub my temples. No wonder he was so nervous, he wanted to take me to the one place where he knew I would have to see Jacob and the one place Edward was not accepted.

"I don't believe him. I can't believe him." I was so angry I could not even think of something else to say. I was just trying to stay calm, "How could he do that? I mean…UGH! This is so unfair." Edward hugged me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. After a moment he kissed my cheek and I rested my head against his. How could I be mad when I was in his arms? I couldn't and he knew that. I turned to face him. He looked down into my eyes and smiled.

"You will be alright Bella," he said. I knew he was right, but I was thinking about what would happen if I saw Jacob again. I didn't think he would be ready to see me, and I knew I was not any where near ready to see him. I rested my head against Edward's chest and tried to tighten my hold on him. "You know you could always change your mind." I groaned.

"I wish I could but if this is the only way to talk to Char…" I paused and looked up at him. "That is not the decision you are talking about, are you?" I pulled away; I could not believe he was actually saying this. "Why would you say that?" I could feel the tears in my eyes already. "I have told you over and over again, I cannot live without you and now that I will be going 'unaware' to see Jacob you think I am going to change my mind. It doesn't work that way Edward. These emotions are not changeable." My cheeks were hot from anger and wet from my tears. Though tears filled my eyes I could see that he was torn.

"Bella I'm sorry, but can you blame me for doubting?" he asked putting his hand on my cheek and for the first time I brushed him off. He stared at me not really knowing what was going on, neither did I for that matter.

"Yes Edward I can," I stared into his hurt eyes. "I need you to trust me, believe me as much as I do you." I was going to hurt him, but he needed to know how serious I was. "Edward I want to know how you can't trust me when I tell you that I love you and can't be without you, but I am supposed to trust you when you say you will never leave me again." This hit him hard, took a step back and looked at me with shock in his eyes. I could see the hurt that he was feeling. I had to close the space between us to show him that I still loved him and trusted him. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I know that must have been hard to hear," I whispered, "but I need you to trust me like I trust you." I took his face in my hands, "I know you love me and will protect me from everything, including yourself. Now I need you to trust and believe in the love I have for you. I need you to trust that I cannot love someone as much as I love and need you." I took my face in his hands and pulled me in for one deep kiss and I was lost. Lost in that one kiss and knew. I knew that he now understood that I would never leave him.