Part 5
She heard him, she knew he was there, she could always tell when he was near - her heart would always start racing before she could even feel him in the room, and this time was no different. However, she pushed aside the need crawling inside her to run to him, pull him into a hug, and apologize for blowing-up at him - she remained steadfast and did not acknowledge him. Chloe had lost count of the ups and downs she had experienced with Clark, and true, her curiosity about what had happened with Zod – and where he had been all this time - was running off the charts, but she knew that some principles had to be upheld over instinctual desire.
Plus, Chloe felt bad for having been so short in shutting down Jimmy earlier. Even though she had laid down the law to him that their relationship would remain firmly ensconced in a purely platonic state, Jimmy had been a good friend to her back during her summer internship. As they finished up their makeshift dinner, Chloe asked Jimmy if he had time to take her over to the SMC to see Lois. Chloe explained the phone call she had received from Martha Kent letting her know Lois had only recently woken up, and could now see visitors.
Although it had been years since Jimmy had spent time with Chloe, he recalled how she fondly talked about her cousin, Lois. Jimmy had never met Lois but from Chloe's description, she sounded like someone that charged the gate and to heck with the consequences. Jimmy couldn't help from laughing quietly as the thought sprung to mind that Lois was akin to a "Chloe without a GPS". Then Jimmy caught the questioning look Chloe was giving him as she waited for an answer, he could tell she was anxious to be on her way. Jimmy quickly wiped his face clean of expression and quipped,
"Sure Chloe, I'm sure the Daily Planet's archive room will survive without me for a while."
Truthfully, Jimmy was thankful for the chance to get away, for as much as he dreamed about getting to work at the Daily Planet – being relegated to feeding a scanner was not what he had in mind. Chloe quickly grabbed a refill of coffee and they were on their way.
Clark sat quietly in the family room of the Kent farm house, intently studying the back of his Dad's watch. On the back of the watch, though worn from time and everyday use, was the inscription his Mom had put there years ago. The sentiment was simple, but it conveyed all the thoughts and feelings that Clark knew his parents shared, he smiled as he read the inscription;
To
JK,
The love of
my life.
MK
Martha was startled to see her son sitting there in the family room as she too was deep in thought over the recent events. Martha quickly changed the expression on her face to the warm, loving smile that Clark knew so well, though now that he was older – even that kind smile did not seem to fix all that was wrong in the world for him as it once did. Martha spoke as she sat across from him on the sofa,
"I did not hear you get back, have you had anything to eat?"
Clark shook his head as he replied,
"No, I'm not really hungry. Mom, can I ask you a question?"
"Clark, you know you can always talk to me about whatever is bothering you."
Martha said, trying to alleviate some of the strain she saw cross Clark's face as he began to speak.
"How did you know Dad was the one? How did you know he felt the same as you did about him?"
Martha paused as she gathered her thoughts to answer him,
"I think when a person is at the age you are, nothing is as clear cut as what you want it to be. You hope the person you have feelings for cares for you as well, but there's no guarantee that I've ever heard of. I know things have been really hard on you lately Clark; your father passing away, you breaking-up with Lana to have her immediately turn to Lex, and then all this business with Zod and Professor Fine."
Clark took a deep breath as he leaned forward to respond,
"You know I keep going back in my mind lately, trying to figure out if I have been truthful with myself, or if I have been making up excuses about how I feel because I was afraid."
Martha turned her head thoughtfully as she replied,
"Clark, what you are asking of yourself is what everyone asks of themselves, which makes you as human as the rest of us."
Looking quizzically at that remark, Clark asked,
"What do you mean?"
Martha sat more upright as she said,
"Your Dad and I were almost not married."
Clark's eyebrows shot-up in shock at hearing this, and leaned further forward as his Mom continued.
"I broke off the whole thing after being engaged for about a year. We had a huge blow-out of a fight, and I fully expected to never see him after that. I mean, he was a farm boy and I was a city girl from Metropolis. Jonathan was expected to take on the mantle of this farm, while I was expected to go on to law school and become a lead attorney at my father's practice – eventually taking over his firm. To look at the two of us, it made no practical sense that we should even be considering getting married."
Clark hesitated as he asked, what he thought, was the obvious question,
"Then why did you marry him?"
Martha closed her eyes to hold back the tears she felt trying to escape as she said,
"Because I couldn't get him off of my mind."
Clark waited a moment, seeing the emotions running their gambit across his Mom's face, and then asked,
"What if I were to take a chance, just like you did, I mean; not proposing marriage (at least not yet, Clark thought to himself), but telling someone that has been close to me everything I have been feeling – only to find that she's happy with someone else?"
Martha considered her words carefully, she wished Jonathan were here to give Clark his thoughts too as she finally spoke,
"All I know is this, if I had not forced myself to face the risk before me – I would have missed out on having everything that I have held dear to my heart for all this time."
Clark could not help but smile at this, as Martha reached out and pulled Clark into a hug. After a moment, they pulled apart and Martha asked,
"So, are you going to tell me who this "someone" is that your mind is so preoccupied with?"
Clark blushed as he looked down at the floor to avoid his Mom's gaze,
"I will but I have to get it sorted out in my head how to settle things with her first. I know things haven't been easy on you Mom, and the last thing I want to do is have you concerned about someone else. I mean, I can still hear you crying yourself to sleep at night, and I know it's my fault – if I hadn't gone back to save Lana from that car wreck, Dad would still be with us."
Martha placed a hand on his shoulder as she spoke,
"Clark, I am sorry you heard me crying, but you cannot blame yourself for your father's death. He led a full life and I know that if he had the chance, he would not change a thing he's done. Having you here with us made your Dad's life more complete, and no one expects you to try to choose one life over another like that. Besides, you did not know that your Dad would wind up passing away as a result of the changes in the past."
Clark broke in, almost in tears,
"That's just it Mom – I DID know- well, I didn't know it would be Dad, but Jor-El warned me that life would find a balance – that someone I cared about would die."
Martha was quiet a moment as the tears that had been threatening finally ran down Clark's face.
"Clark, look at me, there are times in everyone's lives – not just people like you with special abilities – that have to make life and death choices everyday. For instance, an emergency room doctor has to prioritize patients coming in, and treat them as best they can. The doctor can spend the rest of their lives saying 'what if…' in regards to their actions, what if I had chosen a different patient to work on – would that patient have made it instead of passing away while the patient they worked on passed away in spite of the doctor's efforts. Clark, my crying is just the normal part of the grieving process, you being here to help me, God's love, and time will get me – and us through this."
Clark was in awe – with all his abilities, with all his strength at his command – the woman in front of him possessed a strength that he could not put into words. Clark smiled at his Mom as the tears continued steadily down his face. He pulled her into a hug saying,
"Thanks Mom, thanks for those words, and thanks for helping me realize that all this self-pity I've been wallowing in hasn't done anything but keep me from moving on in the grieving process. And most of all thanks for being the greatest of all my abilities – for being the guiding beacon during these times of turbulence. I love you Mom."
It was Martha's turn to let the tears run down her face as she embraced her son. She was so proud of him, even with everything going on – he had decided to try to take on the burden of everything that was happening – and it was tearing him apart more than he was letting on. Yet during this conversation about matters of the heart, somehow her words had allowed him to open up to her the pain that was consuming him – and thank God she had found the words to save him from the gloomy abyss he was falling into.
Martha's heart swelled at this realization and whispered a quiet "thank you" (quiet enough that not even Clark would hear it) as she looked up to the ceiling. Somehow she felt, at that moment, that Jonathan had been there with her, guiding her with what to say when she was apprehensive as to what course to take. At last Martha found her voice had returned to her as she said aloud,
"I love you too, son. I am so proud of you!! Never forget that your Dad is also proud of you, and that he will always be watching over us."
As they pulled away from the embrace, Clark had a smile of peace on his face, a smile his Mom had not seen in a long time. Drying the last of the tears that were on her face Martha asked,
"So, are you ready for me to fix you something for supper, it's getting late you know."
"Sure Mom, I'm so hungry now, I feel like I could eat three meals!!"
Clark beamed at his Mom as they both walked to the kitchen. Elsewhere, the drive from the Daily Planet to SMC passed quickly to Chloe. Her mind had been filling with all the questions she was going to ask Lois. Martha had not given her a lot of details about Lois, she was just on the line long enough to let her know they had made it back home safely, though Lois' injuries required a trip to the hospital.
Aside from Lana, Lois was the closest thing Chloe had to a sister – though Lois was decidedly more aggressive and not so quick on the uptake of her actions compared to Lana. Of course, while Lana was more thorough in making decisions, it seemed to Chloe, that Lana would take six months to make a decision that should have taken a week (okay, maybe two at the most) to decide on. Yet all of that was pushed aside as they entered the main lobby of SMC to find it packed with people, and some of the lights still flickering on and off intermittently.
After Chloe found out what room Lois was in from one of the attendants at the front desk, she and Jimmy made their way through the maze of make shift beds and people up to her room. With everything that was going on Chloe was amazed that Lois was able to get a room to herself, then again when Lois set her mind on something – well let's just say the landing at Normandy was more peaceful than being in the same room as Lois.
As they entered the room, Lois opened her eyes and greeted them in her usual "kind" manner that immediately let Chloe know she was out of the woods.
"Hey cuz, who's the string bean you brought along? Did you get so overloaded on coffee that you needed a designated driver to bring you out here?"
Chloe smirked as she shook her head, ignoring Lois' question she asked
"How are you feeling?"
Trying to sit up a little, Lois winced slightly saying,
"Ugh, bad enough to know that I am still in one piece. Now, let's try this again, who's the string bean?"
Chloe laughed now and said,
"Oh, sorry! Jimmy Olsen, meet my cousin, Lois Lane, Lois this is Jimmy."
Well, Jimmy was decidedly intimidated by Lois upon entering the room, and as such he had remained only a few steps from the door. Even though he knew Lois had been through an ordeal, the sound of her voice made him believe she could jump up at a moment's notice and kick him out a window. Jimmy put on the best smile he could and waved as he said,
"Hi!"
Lois huffed as she looked to Chloe saying,
"Wow, he's a real chatterbox huh!? Nice to meet you string bean."
Chloe couldn't help but chuckle at how brassy Lois was, even in the hospital. She also found it funny that Lois rarely called people by their proper names, preferring to come up with nick names that – somewhere in Lois' mind – fit the person she was talking to. Jimmy, now more uncomfortable than ever, did his best to play it cool – which was asking a lot for him, as he barely kept his voice from jumping as he spoke
"You too, it looks like you two have a lot to catch up on, so I'm going to wait outside."
After Jimmy exited the room, Lois turned to Chloe asking,
"Where did you dig up that little worm?"
"Shh…"
Chloe replied with a light chuckle as she continued,
"…be nice Lois!"
Lois lifted an eyebrow saying,
"I am being nice!! Smallville annoys the living daylights out of me, but at least he has the zeal to fire-off a few comebacks instead of being walked over like new enlistees!"
Chloe glared at Lois at the mention of Clark's name, her blood still lightly boiling from their last encounter. Quickly changing the subject, Chloe exclaimed,
"So, you seem to be in pretty good spirits overall considering I heard you were in a plane crash."
Lois quieted a little from her rambunctious-self as she replied,
"Yeah, I guess I have Mrs. Kent to thank for that. You know truthfully, I didn't even remember the plane crashing. The passenger cabin was steadily loosing pressure, I was working like crazy to catch my breath, and then I was in this ice castle. It was the most magnificent looking building I had ever been in. All of a sudden it felt like I was surrounded by this comforting light, and I could tell everything was going to be fine."
Chloe looked a little unsettled at this comment as she realized Martha must have somehow made her way to Clark's fortress with Lois in tow. She did her best to clear her mind of the fortress as she did not want Lois to catch on that she recognized where they had been. Chloe looked thoughtfully at Lois as she spoke,
"Lois you had sustained some pretty serious injuries, it is possible you were hallucinating."
Lois retorted sharply,
"NO! It was really there!! I am pretty sure I died and was in heaven."
Chloe smiled in relief that Lois did not have a clue as to where she had been, and reached out to carefully pat her shoulder saying,
"Well, I am just thankful that you made it back safely."
Lois gave Chloe a kind-hearted smile, a rare thing indeed, and replied,
"Thanks cuz, I really appreciate it. Look, thanks for the visit, but I'm still kind of tired from this stuff the docs are giving me."
Chloe cut her off,
"Oh, that's fine, you get some rest and I'll see you later."
Chloe returned Lois' smile as she stood up to leave saying,
"Besides, I need to make sure 'string bean' hasn't gotten himself lost out there!"
It was Lois' turn to laugh at her cousin's usual snarkyness. Happy to see that Chloe was okay, Lois drifted off to sleep. As Chloe closed the door behind her on her way out, she could not get over how peaceful Lois looked. Chloe thought to herself, "maybe the doctors could write a prescription for Lois for whatever they were giving her, this is the most peaceful she'd ever seen her cousin." Laughing silently to herself she snarked, "Well I guess it is true what they say, anyone can look peaceful – when they're asleep that is!!"