Part 9
"Clark, are you okay?" Chloe asked as she slightly squeezed his hand.
This snapped Clark out of his gaze as he shook his head and said, "Yeah, sorry, I was getting a little preoccupied there for a minute. Look, why don't you go have a seat on the sofa, I'll clean up here and be there in a second. Did you want anything else, something to drink?"
"Clark, you set everything up, why don't you let me help you clean up, I really don't mind. I mean…"
Before Chloe could finish her sentence, Clark had already washed, dried, and put away the dishes – along with returning all the remaining leftovers to the refrigerator. He was now standing at the corner of the counter as he retorted with a smile, "You're a guest Chloe, and here guests don't have to work with setting up meals or cleaning up dishes. Now did you want something to drink?"
"Wow, uh yeah, some lemonade would be great, thanks Clark." Chloe got up and made her way to the sofa in the family room. It did not matter how many times she saw Clark move like that, she thought she'd never get used to it. With a slight grin, Chloe pondered for a moment if Clark's parents had ever gotten used to seeing their son use his abilities. She quickly stored that thought away, reminding herself to ask Martha later, as Clark walked over with tall glass of lemonade – along with a coaster for the end table to sit the glass on (I guess all those reminders by Martha to 'use a coaster' had finally sunk through Clark's head – either that or the punishment for forgetting would be worse than being exposed to meteor rock).
Clark sat the drink down on the coaster on the end table and grabbed an after dinner mint before taking a seat beside Chloe, turning so he was looking right at her. They both sat there in silence for a moment, one patiently waiting for the other to speak. Clark felt his thoughts drifting off again.
"Hello Clark? I know I'm a keenly astute reporter, but even I can't read your silences." Chloe remarked light-heartedly as she turned to face him as well, bringing her knee up to where it almost touched his. Then she reached over to playfully pat his knee, trying to convey the jovial meaning of her comment.
"Sorry, I was just trying to figure out exactly how to say this. Actually, I've gone over it a million different times it seems like, I always trip myself up." Clark's tone took on a decidedly plea-full one as he continued. "Please, just bear with me Chloe, I made a promise to myself to tell you this, and I'm not walking away this time."
The look on Chloe's face shifted to one of concern and understanding as she rubbed his knee saying, "Hey its okay, take your time, I'm not going anywhere Clark. Besides, it's me – Chloe – your best friend and Fort Knox of Secrets, you can talk to me about anything."
Without thinking, Clark found his hand moving up to cup Chloe's face as he spoke, "Thanks Chloe. You've always been there for me, no matter what, and that means a lot more to me than you know."
He stroked the side of her face a couple of times with his thumb before moving his hand away from her. Chloe responded with a reassuring smile, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side where his hand had been. There was always kindness and tenderness in Clark's touch, Chloe observed, even though he was the strongest being she had ever met.
Clark took a steady, slow breath "Chloe, back before I left the Daily Planet to face Zod, there was this moment where we…well…you and I…."
"You mean when I laid one on you?" Chloe interrupted as she observed Clark was having a difficult time getting the words out. "Don't worry about it Clark, as best as I could tell Armageddon was upon us, and I let my emotions take over. It's not like I expected you to come running back to me ready for a relationship, or anything like that."
Chloe quickly followed this by slightly raising her eyebrows and gave him the best fake smile she could muster. Okay, so she was lying, again, but had grown so comfortable in her role as a comforter, protector, friend, and known secret keeper that even with him no longer being with Lana – she could not find the courage to let him in on her feelings. So, she intuitively played the friends card again in hopes that would to get him to chalk-up what happened as just being 'one of those things'.
"Chloe, you may have 'laid one on me', but as I recall, I kissed you back." Clark replied with a smile, remembering the kiss, as it played repetitiously in his brain.
"Clark, I know you kissed me back, but I was the one that initiated it to begin with. I mean you were on your way out the door. If I had not called out to you, you would have gone on to your fight with Zod, and we would not even be having this conversation right now. I mean, sure it was a great kiss, but relationships that start under intense circumstances like that just don't last. Not only that, but what about the old song that goes, 'a kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh…'"
Looking as though she might pass out from lack of oxygen, Clark knew he had to do something to slow her down. So, Clark did the only thing he could think of, he hollered out, "CHLOE!"
"WHAT?...WHAT?...WHAT?"
"I've seen you on the war path before, but this is keyed-up even for you. Look, let's just slow down for a minute, okay?"
"You're right Clark, I'm sorry, you're trying to be upfront with what's going on, and I'm giving you the third degree here."
"Hey, it's okay, I mean, look how long it's taken me to speak-up about this – not exactly Speedy Gonzales for someone with my abilities right?"
Chloe chuckled lightly at that comment, which drew a light smile of thanks from Clark – as he reached over and rubbed her arm, her breathing slowing back down to normal.
"Look Chloe, not that I don't appreciate your reference to the classics, but that kiss was more than just a kiss to me. Now, please hear me out before you get started up again."
Chloe gave him a wry smile as she settled back into the sofa, waiting for him to continue.
Clark looked Chloe straight in the eye as he spoke; "Thanks, look, a lot of things have happened since we've met. I know we've had our ups and downs, and that we've kissed before in the past – though it was usually a case of one of us not being ourselves, or a ploy to get out of a precarious jam. However, this time neither of us was under the influence of anything but our emotions, and you're the one that's always telling me I need to be more honest about my feelings.
Chloe, with everything that has happened; my Dad passing away, Milton Fine and Zod showing up, Lana pulling a 180 on me , and of all people – Lionel being the one Jor-El uses as an oracle to communicate with me, I have had one person I could always turn to – you. I know I have not done the best job of showing it, but I've appreciated you being there more than words can describe. There were times when things were weighing on me that I felt like I could not even talk to my Mom about, but you were always there. You always had an open ear, day or night, to lend comfort to me. It has always been you that put her life on hold, at the drop of a hat, to help me anyway you could. What I am trying to say is that I have been falling in love with you over all this time.
"This became even clearer to me when we kissed before I left to face Zod. I felt a spark, a connection, a vivification, an awakening then, almost as though a veil of fog had finally dissipated – and I finally saw things clearly. Then when I was trapped in the Phantom Zone, I kept thinking about you, worried about having left you at the Daily Planet, not knowing if you were safe, and worst of all – wondering if I would get the chance to tell you any of this."
"I remember Raya's words, 'Zod's a soldier, a general, he will kill you.', and I responded, 'If there was a way to save those you loved, wouldn't you risk dying?' I know this is a lot to take in and I realize you may not feel the same way about me. If that's the case, then I'll deal with it, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering 'what if?' Please, just do me a favor - look to your heart - and tell me how you honestly feel about us."
Chloe sat there in stunned silence; in fact, she had barely blinked during this entire exposition Clark had just thrown at her. She was completely flummoxed, Clark had said so much, and said a lot of things she had been waiting a long time to hear. Not knowing what to do, she reached around and took a long drink of her lemonade, leaving the glass half-full when she stopped. Returning the glass to the coaster, Chloe turned around to see that Clark was now looking down at his hands, folded in his lap, still waiting for a response. She knew that it must have taken a lot out of him to have been so bold with his feelings, and felt an even greater measure of respect and adoration for him.
"Clark, I am so proud of you, I don't know how to verbalize how grateful I am for your words. You're right, I have been on your case about being upfront with your feelings, and here I am using my classic self-defense mechanisms to keep you at arm's length out of fear. I guess it's another instance of do as I say, not as I do being plainly illustrated."
She sighed.
"Sorry, I'm doing it again, using sarcasm instead of saying what I feel. I guess I'm just not as brave as you are Clark, and you've proven again why you're my hero. Because this time, you didn't risk bodily injury by your actions, but you risked your heart."
"Clark, I need you to look at me here, it's kind of hard taking to the top of your head."
Clark slowly, but steadily, raised his head to look up at her. Chloe was saddened to see that Clark had tears running down his face, and more tears were cresting in his eyes – threatening to run out at any minute.
"Oh my God, Clark!"
She didn't think, didn't analyze, instead she just reacted to seeing him in pain. Chloe reached out and pulled Clark up to her as she held him in a hug. Clark instinctively wrapped his arms around her and just held her as the tears continued to flow down his cheeks. Neither of them spoke, both were lost in their emotions – Clark overcome with how hard it had been to say all those things to Chloe, Chloe overcome with the sight of Clark in so much pain as to draw tears. She had seen him that upset before but only on very solemn occasions. It was only then that Chloe realized how much Clark had put on himself.
Then Chloe felt a few tears of her own well up and run down her face. She quietly cursed herself for tearing-up like that; she needed to be stronger for Clark – and for herself. Although it felt wonderful to hold him like this, Chloe knew she had to look him in the eye. After all, Clark had looked her straight in the eye as he expressed his feelings for her, leaving no doubt that what he had said was true – and she would do the same for him. Right now, Chloe prayed that the water works would have stopped by now, she could barely stand to see him in tears – it tore through to her very soul.