The Shakespeare quote is from "The Tragedy of Antony and Cleopatra."
I found the abridged text of Sun Tsu's "The Art of War" at the Project Gutenberg website. I highly recommend it for free online classical books
the usual spiel: Kim & co. are Disney's, Rich & Daphne are mine, Shakespeare and Sun Tsu belong to the ages.
THE DAY OF THE MIDDLETON HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR-SENIOR PROM
Ron had not acted on Rich's advice. Well, what did Rich expect? The man was utterly beaten down.
Rich was about to do the bravest deed of his life--make that the stupidest, most foolhardy, he told himself. He waited outside the gym after school. There went Kim and Tara.
"Kim!" he called. Both girls turned and looked at him curtly.
"Ignore him," Kim whispered. They continued walking.
"Kimberly Ann!" he called more loudly.
Kim halted in her tracks and slowly turned. Her green eyes smoldered, and her lips were a thin line.
Tara glanced fearfully over her shoulder and scurried away. She wanted to be nowhere near the vicinity of the famous Possible temper.
"What you want?" Kim asked rudely.
There's no backing out now, thought Rich. "I have something to tell you--about your boyfriend--and your partner."
Kim slowly approached him, glaring angrily. So, the stuck-up pastor's kid speaks at last; the brother of the stuck-up sister who must have one of those acolyte-thingys shoved up her ass. The school had a number of these Bible-thumpers. Kim had always assumed that he would one day lay a tract on her, or exhort her to repent, or picket for prayer in school, or something like that. But it was only for the venal purpose of spreading lies about those closest to her. What was he about say? That Jews--and therefore Ron--were Christ-killers? That her boyfriend had gotten somebody pregnant?
Rich was fascinated by her response and the emotions he felt. He was exhilarated. The fact that he was a head taller did not appear to phase her in the least. Well, of course not. She was Kim Possible, crime-fighter, super-heroine. He had seen her flatten a half-dozen goons in the news videos.
Kim would make this short and sweet. She clipped off her words. "I'm not interested in anything you have to say--not about my partner's religion--not in any rumors about my boyfriend--not in you getting me 'saved'--understand?"
Rich felt giddy. Was this what it felt like to be drunk? He continued recklessly. "Kim--you've missed the boat--you're ignoring the love of your life."
Kim's whole body trembled with rage. She had just had a painful talk with Ron about this very thing the other night in the treehouse. And he had agreed with her--hadn't he? It was time to grow up, move on. They weren't kids, anymore. Besides, she had waited for Ron. She had assured him; it was more than a crush, more than the Moodulator (damn that little computer chip) that were still fireworks--and his silence was her answer. She had cried herself to sleep with disappointment. Yes, it was past time for moving on.
She slammed her book on the floor. "How dare you--who the hell do you think you are?"
Rich was astonished; how vibrant she was, how full of life! "Do you know what's in front you, Kim? Do you know what you're missing?"
He was smiling! Kim was infuriated! "What do you know about what I'm missing? You don't know a thing about me, Mr--Artist!"
Rich marveled. No wonder Ron loved her! No wonder Drakken trembled in his boots! "Erik's a pretty face. Do you know his parents, his family, do you know anything about him?"
This was frustrating! Kim didn't even know this guy's real name! And he was--taunting her! She wanted to paste him!
"You know Ron like you know yourself--"
Kim knew what people were saying--poor Ron, Kimmie's ignored him again--
"--You know his family like you know your your family--"
--And of all the people in school, only he had the nerve to confront her!
"--You know his likes, his dislike, his habits. You know his family--"
Enough! She had enough! "Stop bothering me! Leave me the hell alone!"
Kim covered her ears with her hands, turned, and stalked angrily away.
Rich wiped his brow. His face and shirt were soaked with sweat; a full strength dose of Kim Possible, undiluted; it was a heady draught. It was as Shakespeare had said of Cleopatra: "Rare Egyptian!...Age cannot stale her, nor custom whither her infinite variety."
"I thought I might find you here!"
Daphne's voice, behind him; he was busted.
He turned. Her face was not stern, only sad. "How did you find me?" he asked.
"I know my brother. 'Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead'. 'Take the bull by the horns'. When I tell him to proceed, he sits on his hands. When I advise caution, he nods quietly and then charges in gung-ho. I just followed Kim's voice. It was set at full volume. Tell me, did that turn out like you wanted? "
"Not really. All your good advice falling on my deaf ears--sorry, sis."
"Ricky--I know that chivalrous mind and heart of yours. It's a better guide than I'll ever be."
Rich sighed wearily. "I don't know about that. I've probably ruined any chance Ron has with Kim. I've surely ruined any chance of Team Harte joining Team Possible. I might have even ruined Kim's prom night."
Daphne laughed. "I don't mind the last one. C'mon home, little brother. We'll put our formals on and put in an appearance at the prom. That'll really set the school on its ear."
"I can't--yet. I promised Felix that I would meet with him. We're working on a project together."
"Okay--see you later."
In a short time, Rich was in a class room working on a layout for a school poster; his mind was wandering. Had he been too harsh with Kim? Could he have been more diplomatic? Obviously he had upset her. Doubtless she would go to her boyfriend and tell him every thing.
Where was Felix? He should have been here a half-hour ago. The project had been his idea. It was something Felix wanted to do, a series of posters to promote awareness of the disabled, to encourage barrier-free construction, to discourage bias. Rich was gratified to be asked to participate. Besides Daphne, Felix Renton was about his only friend at Middleton High. Rich wanted him here for feedback--
--when he heard a noise behind him; the hairs on his neck stood up; he turned around--
I might have known, he said to himself: Erik Drake was standing in the doorway--with a deadly grin. "Rich; you've been checking up on me; your sister and Wade Load have been looking at my confidential records; tsk, tsk; very unethical for a preacher's kid; and then you tried to talk to both Ron and Kim. Dude, do we have a problem?"
Rich remembered what Sun Tsu had said: if you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
Erik slowly entered the room. Rich slowly backed away, keeping the desks between himself and Erik
Erik worked his way to the instructor's desk. Like a striking snake, he grasped the back of the heavy desk chair; and with the blink of an eye he flung it at Rich.
In another blink of an eye, Rich's foot shot up and splintered the chair; and they both circled each other like beasts of prey, Erik with clenched fists and Rich with bladed hands.
Rich was thankful for the martial arts training Master Goro had given him many years ago. It had saved his life before and would do so today.
Erik's face wore a snarl. His eyes shone with a mad light. No one who saw him now would have recognized Kim's handsome boyfriend.
Rich's self-doubt was gone. He had been right; Erik was dangerous. Furthermore, Erik was somehow aware of Wade and Daphne's online investigation.
Rich's heart surged with delight. The subterfuges were gone; no more friendly new student, no more dorky art major. Let the battle be waged here and now--
They both heard a noise. Felix Renton was in the doorway, his face aghast.
Erik resumed his friendly pretense. "Wow--will you look at this chair? Student vandals everywhere. Hey Rich--we'll settle this later."
Count on it, thought Rich. So--Erik had revealed his hand. Someone on the other side had tipped Erik off to the online probe; someone with cyber-programming capacity? Shego? perhaps; Drakken? not likely; the man's talent was building deathrays, not strategy.; Erik himself? it didn't matter anymore; things were past that point. Why did Erik wait until now to make a move? because Rich had tried to tell Kim. This was a sting operation, and Kim was its target, and zero hour was tonight. Get the tux, out, Rich; put on the cuff links and bow tie; shine those shoes and put a flower in that lapel. Team Harte is going to a school prom.
Erik slid his way past Felix's wheelchair; the other cringed at his approach. "Hey, Felix, how's it going?"
When Erik was gone, Felix babbled, panic-stricken. "Rich--I was coming to help you--that project--I saw Erik--I heard furniture breaking--what the f--Rich--what kind of psycho is taking Kim to the prom?"
Rich knelt and looked him in the eye. "Felix--I'm telling you with all the sincerity I have--this didn't happen--you've got to trust me."
That warm sincere gaze. Rich had always been on the level. "Okay--but Rich--I saw you move like Jackie Chan--like Kim--who are you?"
"I'm one of the good guys."
There was a change in Felix's face, a calmness. "Rich--with Kim and Ron around, I've seen enough supers --are you one?"
"I hope so--I'm about to find out."
"I trust you."
"Thank you--you're a good man, Felix Renton. You wouldn't make a bad super yourself."
"Rich--this isn't done, is it?"
Rich shook his head.
"What's gonna happen?"
Rich smiled. "Hopefully, the good guys win. Wish us luck--and Godspeed."
He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight...he will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks...he will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared. Hence the saying: if you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles...if you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. (Sun Tsu, The Art Of War)
Later that night was the Middleton High School Junior-Senior Prom. Kim Possible attended with her date, Erik Drake. Daphne Harte attended with her escort and twin brother, Richard Harte.
Later still that night, Dr. Drakken unleashed his Enlarged Diablos on the world--but Ron Stoppable the partner came through for Kim--and Kim Possible the girlfriend came through for Ron--and Team Harte came through for Team Possible.
But that is another story.