Author note: Right, I'm finally going to solve the whole Digimon vs Pokemon debate. Oh, and I forgot to mention that when you're reading this, if you imagine the Chosen Children speaking with posh British accents it makes it much funnier, trust me.
Satoshi stood and sneered at the Chosen Children. He mocked them and abused them to try and get a reaction. However, the Chosen Children, being as awesome as they are, merely stood and ignored the arrogant little turd with a great sense of, quite righteous, superiority.
Eventually Satoshi gave up his attempt to embarrass the Chosen Children and endeavoured to try a different approach.
"I challenge you to a battle so that I can prove to you that Pokemon is superior to Digimon!" Satoshi exclaimed.
"Very well," Taichi, the leader of the Chosen Children, said, "We will accept your challenge, although, I daresay that, we will be the ones doing the proving. Koushiro! You're the second lamest of the group, battle him."
"Since when have I been the second lamest of the group?" Koushiro asked.
"Jyou overtook you between series' with the whole 'What the fuck happened to you over three years?' thing," Sora explained, puffing on her cigarette, which she had in a theatre length cigarette holder.
"Are we going to battle or what?" Satoshi interrupted rudely.
Iori slapped him across the face, "Speak when you're spoken to, filthy peasant," He said.
"You little shit!" Satoshi yelled, pulling his fist back to punch Iori. However he soon began screaming in agony because Sora was extinguishing her cigarette on Satoshi's forehead.
"Just you leave the lamest member of our group alone," She said, somewhat calmly.
"Oh, Iori's not the lamest member of the group," Taichi said.
"He's not?" Sora said, voicing several people's confusion.
"Oh no," Taichi said, "Daisuke is."
"Oh," Sora said, "that makes sense."
"Excuse me," Satoshi interrupted again, "Battle!"
"Yes, yes, very well," Koushiro said stepping forward, "Tentomon, if you please."
Tentomon flew up and landed in front of Koushiro. Satoshi moved a good five metres away and his Pikachu stood in front of him.
"Pikachu, thunderbolt!" Satoshi yelled, his Pokemon obliged and shot a yellow thunderbolt at Tentomon.
Tentomon simply stood there as the attack hit him. It proved to have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever.
"Weak," Tentomon said, "fucking weak."
"I'd like to see you do better," Satoshi yelled.
"Very well," Tentomon said, "Tentomon, warp shinka…HerculesKabuterimon."
"Oh fuck," Satoshi said as Pikachu involuntarily urinated on the ground.
"Giga blaster," the gigantic insect said, sending a far superior bolt of thunder at the small yellow rodent. Pikachu was burned to a crisp. HerculesKabuterimon then stomped on him, grinding his corpse into the ground.
Satoshi screamed like a little girl. He ran up and started beating pathetically at Koushiro's chest.
"No…you killed my Pikachu you bastard," he sobbed.
"Get off me you disgusting plebeian," Koushiro yelled, throwing a very second lamest in the group punch at Satoshi.
Satoshi fell to the ground and HerculesKabuterimon stomped on him.
HerculesKabuterimon then reverted to his child form and Hikari pulled out her trusty pink switchblade. She walked up to Satoshi's twitching corpse and removed his scalp.
She held it up, "How lovely," she said, "I've always wanted a scalp with a hat attached to it."