Yousei
A/N: I've always wanted to write about this song, of how it came to be written from Sheryl's point of view. This one-shot takes place somewhere after episodes 20 and 21 (if you remember, Sheryl was sitting on the engawa at the end of episode 21 while looking up at the trail of Brera's VF). I just thought having Ranzou appear was the best route to take, although tricky as I might have made him OOC (laughs). Besides, they should've at least bumped into each other during Sheryl's stay there. In any case, please enjoy!
Standard disclaimer applies.
Special thanks to chinchilla-kun for the beta (and for the loud music). :P
The pack of small koi swam gracefully, the gentle sounds of their swimming cut through the quietness of midnight. A pair of azure eyes gazed onto the pond made shimmery by artificial moonlight. Seasoned ears listened to the pristine sound a koi would make surfacing a little and then going back into the shallow water.
It sounded crisp, serene, and even magical.
The rasp of footsteps woke Sheryl Nome up from her stupor.
Turning her head towards the engawa, her eyes met the silhouette of a man she had been wondering if she'd ever meet. As the artificial clouds made way for the moon, she saw him clearly. Though they had quite a distance from each other, Sheryl could see the paleness and creases on his face while his frail–looking frame said so much more.
She knew he was ill, but she never knew to what extent. She felt a tinge of pity thinking about the actor's legacy and how he was now.
She slowly closed her eyes and mentally shrugged off those thoughts.
It would be an insult to him, she told herself.
Pulling the collars of her yukata closer together, she greeted him with a bow.
"My apologies if I disturbed you," she said as she looked up to him.
The old man slowly and shakily brought a hand up.
"Sleeping troubles?" Came his raspy but still imposing voice.
"No, not at all," Sheryl shook her head. "It's a very quiet and beautiful place you have here," she added as she briefly eyed the wide yard. "It's very conducive for…recuperating."
There was a moment of silence with the wind ruffling the leaves of trees filling the void.
Sheryl took a few steps towards him. "I haven't said thank you to you personally, for allowing me, a stranger, to stay in your home…thank you. I'm feeling better now though, and I should be--"
A few watery chuckles from the old man cut her off as he sat cross-legged on the engawa.
"Are you really?" the eyes of a man that was filled with wisdom but also of pain pierced through her. "I see you in here all the time after you make that fool Yasaburo believe you went to sleep."
Sheryl was about to open her mouth in defense but the old man continued.
"I heard what happened the other day."
Sheryl lowered her head remembering the chaos, the raging of guns and bullets, the screams and cries of agony, the smell of fear in people's tears and sweat, and the smell of life slipping away in that blood-stench bunker.
"I, I wanted to see that everyone made it out alive safely but then Yasaburo-san came along and insisted I leave to be treated for injuries." She paused, a half smile crept upon her lips. "I haven't apologized to him yet--for slapping him when I insisted that I stay."
The old man could only smirk. "I'm very sure he deserved it."
Sheryl quietly sighed as she looked up at the purple skies and then back at him. "To tell the truth, of all the live concerts I've had, yesterday…yesterday amidst all that chaos, it felt as if I made a real connection with them. I wasn't singing for fans that really wanted and even paid to see me. I was singing for the people of Frontier. I wanted to make them know there was hope and we'll go on no matter what."
"If you think not, you will blossom. Nor shall you blossom if you think."
"Eh…?"
"Jou-san, why do you think people call you The Fairy?" he asked as he raised his palm towards her.
Sheryl smiled a rueful smile as she tucked stray strands of pink hair behind her ear, revealing an earring that sparkled under the moon's rays.
"That's all over now."
"Fool," was his only retort in a plain yet venomous tone.
"Look, it was my ma-former manager who came up with that and should I've known earlier that she had something to do with all these then I might've preven--"
"Forget that!" He cut her off again with a sternness only borne by fathers. "Didn't you just say we'd go on no matter what? Everyone's looking for something they can hold on to at this time - A source of hope. What you started in that bunker is something you have to finish until the end. Become that hope, Yousei-san."
Sheryl could feel tears well up in her eyes. She accepted the burden to be the songstress of hope in the midst of chaos. But now that the rush and urgency has waned down, the weight of this role started to present its real weight on her shoulders.
It was a heavy, demanding and uncaring one.
Her time in this world was numbered and yet…yet she cannot find the reason to find happiness for herself. Between confronting her own feelings for a certain pilot and keeping Frontier together, she decides on the latter: to devote her remaining life to thousands of other people--nameless faces pitted against the darkness brought upon by the war with the Vajra.
This was how she would live the rest of her days.
To be the Fairy that grants their wishes for a peaceful slumber at night and a peaceful wake in the morning.
Sheryl Nome was going to sing for Frontier's people and their future.
A future that might not even include her.
Everyone calls me by the name "Fairy"
And I live up to my name
I sensed nothing because of the burden in my heart
So I flew across the vast space
Ever since I met you, I have been quivering in love
As I stood in bewilderment, feeling vulnerable, with my wings soaked in rain
I woke up to the calling telling me to "Fly away" (Calling out to me)
"For another day" (In the sound of your voice)
"With no regrets, just secret love"
I just have to tell you that I love you, and nothing more for now
For there is no return to paradise.