Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or the characters, and probably never will.

AN: I have no medical knowledge, just way too much time to search the internet.

Sorry to leave you hanging for so long, couldn't work out how to word this. Hope it turned out alright.

Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews, I truly value each and ever one, so please keep them coming.

Enjoy!

Previously: "We've lost his pulse!"

Without hesitation Bailey and Meredith run into the treatment room. When they finally get through the sea of people, they see Alex lying prone on the gurney, with the resident, Dr Hill holding a laryingascope in his mouth while he threads in an endotrachial tube. At the same time an orderly is preforming chest compressions, and there are nurses everywhere working busily.

"What happened?!" Bailey shouts at Dr Hill, not taking her eyes away from her fallen coworker.

Dr Hill finishes inserting the tube, secures it, attaches an ambu bag, and hands it over to a nurse before answering. "We'd only just transferred him, and he coded."

"What caused this?" Bailey questions, moving to assist.

"Not sure, probably multiple organ failure, brought on by a severe infection."

Bailey curses under her breath, she then notices Meredith freaking out beside her, and turns to her. "Go outside, now!"

"What?!"

"You're too close to him, wait outside." Bailey insists, wrapping her arm around Meredith, and quickly guiding her through the doorway, and closing the door behind her.

Meredith hears the door slam closed behind her as she is forced out of the room. She goes straight to the window, and watches as they all work in well practiced perfection to save Alex's life.

As she watches Bailey press the defibrillator paddles onto Alex's now exposed chest, all she can think is. This is all my fault! He trusted me to look after him, how could I have forgotten to check on him?! I'm a doctor, I know what can happen to people going though chemo, and I still put my need for sleep over his well-being. If I had've just checked on him last night this never would've happened, he'd have come in here of his own choice, and been treated before it got even close to being this bad. How could I forget?! What if my stupid stuff up costs him his life?! Oh god, what if he dies?

Meredith continues her guilt-ridden chain of thought until George and Izzie run up to her a minute later. By this point, Meredith is sobbing uncontrollably, and Izzie grabs her shoulders, and pulls her around to face her. "Mere? What's going on?! Talk to me."

Her voice hoarse from crying, Meredith answers brokenly. "H-he... Organ fail-failure... They're doing CPR."

Izzie and George turn their attention from Meredith, to the treatment room. In an unfortunate coincidence, the second they look through the window is the second Bailey delivers a third shock to Alex's failing body. "Oh god." Izzie gasps, and turns away.

George pulls Izzie closer, and lets her bury her face in his shoulder, whilst trying to avoid looking back into the room himself. "It's okay, Alex is strong, he'll be alright." He soothes Izzie, holding her tight. He then looks over to Meredith, she is once again sobbing, almost inaudibly murmuring 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' over and over again. "Mere?"

Hearing George call to her, Meredith moves closer to him, and gratefully leans into a comforting hug.

Meanwhile in the treatment room, Bailey shocks Alex again, and upon looking up at the monitors, she says. "He's back in sinus rhythm, good work everyone. Now, let's get him stabilized, that was way too close." She turns to a nurse. "Jamie, call RT for a vent, then nephrology, he'll probably need dialysis, and then bed management, he'll need to go up to the ICU."

"Yes, doctor." Jamie replies quickly, then picking up the phone, and dialing.

"I'd better go talk to Grey. Can you manage here?"

"Sure." Dr Hill replies as he watches Bailey hurry from the room.

Bailey is surprised when she sees George standing be the observation window, Meredith still pressed against one shoulder, and Izzie again the other, both are crying, and George doesn't look too far from joining them.

"Grey, Stevens, O'Malley." Bailey says, announcing her presence.

They all jump apart, and turn to face her. "How is he?"

"...Stable. The majority of his organs have failed, probably as a result of a septic infection."

"Can we go in there? He shouldn't be alone." Izzie says, her voice shaking.

"We're going to move him up to the ICU pretty soon, you can sit with him once he's settled in up there." Bailey tells them, the tone of her voice leaving no room for argument.

Still not hearing what is desperate to, Meredith asks. "Is he gonna pull through?"

Bailey pauses a moment before answering. "You all know the medicine involved here, or at least you better, or I haven't taught you very well. He's extremely critical, the odds are against him... We're doing everything we can."

They all know exactly what this means, they've said it to unfortunate family members many times before; it'll practically be a miracle if he recovers.

Two hours later, Meredith enters Alex's ICU room. George and Izzie are waiting outside, allowing her to see him first. Despite having seen many people here before, it is a different matter all together when she knows the person lying there, looking so small in the bed, so weak, the bed almost completely surrounded by machines. After taking a minute to work through her feelings, Meredith moves over to the bed, and sits down in a chair left there by a nurse.

Even though she knows that Alex probably can't hear her, Meredith quietly speaks to him, her voice is almost a whisper. "I'm here Alex, I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

TBC...

Thanks for reading! Hope that was worth the wait, sorry it's so short.

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