Day 4
"Come on Spencer! I want a turn on the swings too, you know."
"You have to wait your turn Ash. I just got on here."
"Oh come on, Spence."
"No. Wait your turn!!"
THUMP
"Ouch, Ash," the blonde cried out as she felt the small rock graze her right cheek. "I'm telling."
"Baby."
"Meanie."
Spencer ran her index finger over the small scar on her right cheek, close to her ear, as she smiled at her childhood memory. She never did tell her mother that Ashley threw that rock at her, cutting her cheek and leaving her with a little white reminder. She told her she fell on the slide. She couldn't bare the thought of getting her friend in trouble, no matter how much she thought she was being a "meanie" that day at the park.
The faint sound of knocking brought Spencer out of her daydream. One of the nurses peered into her office.
"Doctor Carlin, I'm sorry to bother you, but Ms. Davies has asked for you," the nurse stated.
Spencer smiled and nodded, "I'll be down shortly. Thanks Hannah."
The nurse grinned and nodded in understanding before retreating back to her station.
Spencer stood from her chair and shuffled through the folders on her desk, looking for Ashley's file. Finding it, she found herself running her fingers across the name on the top of the folder. Almost losing herself in her childhood memories again, she shook her head with a grin and forced the memories back for another time.
Ashley stood with her forehead pressed against the cool glass of her room's window. Her eyes were shut tightly as she focused on even breathing. She had been up most of the night with the shaking and chills. She found herself dry-heaving at 4am, not remembering the voyage to the bathroom. The cool glass on her face was calming her at the moment, helping her forget the pain she was feeling.
She placed her left hand on the glass, rolled her head to the right side, and watched as she left her handprint in the thin sheet of condensation that had formed. She couldn't help but grin at the memory that consumed her at that very moment…
"GIRLS! I will not tell you again, please don't put your hands all over the windows. I don't wanna have to keep cleaning them after every time you two are in here."
Ashley looked at the blonde sitting next to her and pulled her hand over to place it right next to hers on the glass.
"My hand is smaller than yours," Ashley said, "that means I'll be famouser than you."
"It doesn't mean that," the blonde replied, "it just means I'm gonna be bigger than you."
"Duh, but I'll still be famouser."
Ashley's grin faded as she ran her hand down the window, leaving a finger trail behind. She was starting to feel tired, but she knew sleep wouldn't come easy, or last long. She removed herself from her place by the window and curled up on her bed. Lying on her side, facing the window, she brought her knees up to her chest and allowed the tears to heat her cheeks. Her eyes drooped shut just before the door to her room creaked open.
Entering Ashley's room, Spencer immediately saw the brunette curled up in the fetal position on her bed. She walked quietly to the side of the bed to check on her and could hear the girl's even breathing. She grinned and sat down in the chair at the end of the bed, pulling out Ashley's file. She began to read through her history, all the while jotting down notes to remember on her pad of paper.
It's hard to believe the girl in front of me has lived through so much. I didn't even realize her dad had died…and she was only 15. Seems like that's when all her problems started, or at least around that time. She started smoking pot at 16, drinking during that time as well. Promiscuity from 17 until today, there's no telling how many men and/or women she's been with to this point. I wonder if she's been tested? I need to talk to her about that as well. She needs to lead a healthy lifestyle if she wants to stay sober, and making sure she's got a clean bill of health is a good place to start.
Where is her mom? Christine was always around when she was little. I wonder if Raife's death drove a wedge between them? Or was it the music industry in general?
Spencer was so caught up in writing that she didn't realize Ashley had woken up and was sitting with her back against the wall just watching her write away. Ashley couldn't help but wonder what she was busily writing about…she knew it had to relate to her.
"Lots of interesting things in that file, huh?" Ashley said.
Spencer was so startled by Ashley's voice that she jerked and dropped her pen on the floor. Blushing profusely, she leaned over to pick it up, raising her eyes to meet the smirk on the face in front of her.
"You scared me to death," Spencer breathed out, "I thought you were still sleeping. I guess I just got carried away in my own thoughts," she blushed.
"It's okay. I know you have a lot of shrinking to do here, so you gotta do everything you can while the monster sleeps, right?"
Spencer shook her head in amusement, "I just wanted to jot down some notes for us to talk about next time we do so," Spencer replied.
"So how are you feeling, Ash?"
"Eh, I have definitely felt better. I think I'm going to market detox as a diet when I get out of here. I think I've lost 10 pounds already."
Spencer giggled, shaking her head. "How about we get you something to eat then? We don't need you withering away to nothing."
Ashley grimaced at the thought of food, but before she could decline the offer, Spencer was up and waving her toward the door.
"Come on, I could use a quick bite myself. Then maybe we can walk around the place for a bit so you can see what else lies beyond your four walls. I promise you that getting out of your room will help you feel less sick all the time. Besides, we are going to meet in my office today at 2pm for a session so you'll need to know where to go."
"A session?"
"Yes, a session…I want you to get out of this room as much as possible so you don't feel confined here. Instead of talking in here, we'll talk in my office. I meet with all my patients at least once a week. After the first couple nights of detox, we start having those meetings in my office. I promise it's comfortable, and if you decide you don't like it, we'll figure out something else."
"Do you have one of those nerf basketball hoops on the back of your door, Spence?" Ashley smirked.
Spencer couldn't contain her laughter, as she pulled Ashley toward the door.
"No nerf hoop on the door, Ash…but I do have one over my trash can. If you're good, I may let you shoot a few."
Spencer and Ashley soon found themselves standing just outside the dining area. It was a good sized room with long school-type cafeteria tables in the middle. There were smaller round tables along the sides of the dining hall.
They approached the food area and Spencer took notice that Ashley was starting to look a little pale.
"How about you grab a table and I'll get you something light to eat okay," Spencer offered.
Ashley just nodded and made her way to the closest table she saw. She sat down, immediately laying her head down on her crossed arms.
Spencer made her way over to the table with some peanut butter crackers, a sprite, and a small salad with chicken on it for Ashley, while indulging in a burger and coke, herself.
The girls sat in silence while Spencer ate and Ashley picked at her salad. She was able to eat a few bites of salad and chicken, and drink all of her sprite, but she put the peanut butter crackers in her hoodie pocket for later. She felt so nauseated just smelling the food in the dining hall.
After finishing up, the girls walked around the site for a short period of time before Ashley complained of her stomach hurting. Spencer, knowing the effects of detox, walked her back to her room, showing Ashley where her office was along the way.
"Why don't you lie down for a bit and just plan on meeting me at 2, in my office," Spencer said.
Ashley nodded her head, suddenly feeling the bile rise in her throat. She ran towards the bathroom emptying her stomach of what little nourishment she just had.
Spencer followed after Ashley, finding her slumped in front of the toilet in a cold sweat, she started slowly rubbing circles on the girl's back.
"Ash, I know this is hard, but you're going to get through this," Spencer soothed.
Ashley could feel her body jerking as sobs ripped through her.
"I just….I just w-wanna…g-go back to b-bed," Ashley cried.
Spencer helped her up and got her back into bed. She ran her hand down Ashley's arm while whispering to her, "Just sleep for now, Ash. We'll talk more later."
Ashley nodded her head and grabbed Spencer's hand as she turned to leave.
"I'll see you at 2, Spencer. I need you to help me see clearly again."
Spencer smiled and left Ashley to sleep. Finding herself getting lost in the clicking of her heels as she made her way back to her office to prepare for her afternoon sessions.