A/N: Not sure if people are still reading, but I have to keep writing. LA was fabulous...thanks for the well-wishes for my trip. It was a total blast! Hated to come home, but...such is life. I'll go back in another month or so!!

Disclaimer: Still the same ol' boring stuff...I don't own SoN, or the characters...however I'm sad to see a groundbreaking show shut down for reasons unknown. Now's the time I wish I DID own SoN...we'd take this cutting edge show elsewhere, to continue touching the lives of young people everywhere:) "Do not go gentle into that good night," - Dylan Thomas

Day 10

10:10am

The memories of times past continue to haunt Ashley's dreams at night. A constant and steady time of sleep has become obsolete at this point in her recovery, and she has found it hard to think about anything else, other than the visitor in her sleep.

Every time I close my eyes I see her face. Innocence, warmth, and love…it's like she holds the key to my recovery and healing, but I just can't figure out how or why. After all these years of pushing away any hurt or pain associated with that time in my life, all the memories have come flooding back.

Why?

Why does she overshadow my attempt at rest?Her face, her tiny voice, her warm smile…ugh, that smile, and those eyes…they are so safe and familiar.Maybe I need to embrace my thoughts right now, and figure out why I tend to be so focused on her and the role she had in my life. I mean, come on, it's been YEARS. Why now?

Ashley stood up from her bed and headed to her closet. Grabbing her white robe and a towel, she walked toward the bathroom, deciding that a hot shower was just what she needed.

It's beautiful out today, I'm gonna get out of this room and go sit in the courtyard for a little while. Maybe try to do some writing. I bet I can crank a song or two out while I'm stuck here.

As she stepped into the shower, the warm water rushed over her body like a waterfall in the depths of the forest. She found herself leaning back into the spray, allowing her body to relax and succumb to the heat and moisture. Just as she placed her hands on the wall for support, she heard movement coming from her room.

"Hello?" the angelic voice called out.

Ashley smiled at the sound of the voice that came floating in from her room and infiltrated her shower.

"Hey Spence, I'm in the shower. Give me ten minutes," Ashley yelled.

The blonde smiled to herself at hearing how upbeat Ashley sounded.

"No worries, take your time. Why don't you just stop by and see me when you're ready," Spencer responded, "and maybe you should start showering with the bathroom door closed, so someone can't just walk in."

Ashley laughed, "Where's the fun in that, Spencer?"

Laughing to herself, Spencer shook her head in amusement at how comfortable Ashley was with her body.

"Riiiight. Well, just stop by when you're done."

"No problem, Spence. Now, you better go before I begin to think you're enjoying talking to me while I'm naked in this shower."

Spencer laughed loudly, causing Ashley to smile to herself.

"Anything to keep that head of yours inflated," Spencer retorted, while making her way over to the door and leaving Ashley to finish getting ready.

After hearing the door to her room shut, Ashley sighed and smiled to herself.

That girl is going to be the death of me. If only we'd met before I became such a mess. Maybe, just maybe, she would have given me a chance to take her out. She's amazing.

Shaking the thoughts away, Ashley finished her shower and stepped out in her robe to find something to wear for the day. As she was searching through her closet, her thoughts, once again, took her back in time.

"Do you think I'm pretty, Ash?"

"I'm 10, I don't know."

"Well, if you were a boy, would you think I'm pretty?"

"I can be a girl and think you're pretty, too."

"Yeah, but you're silly."

"Whatever. You still love me."

"Yeah, I do, but don't tell anyone."

Smiling blue eyes infiltrated Ashley's mind…staring a hole almost right through her.

"And yeah, you're pretty. Really pretty."

Ashley smiled at the memory. She loved that girl when she was just a little girl herself, yet she allowed her hurt to drive so much of that love away. She never fully gave her heart to anyone, but Pretty Blue always did have it.

Finding solace, once again, in the squeak of her gym shoes, Ashley made her way down the hall to Spencer's office. Pausing outside, she took a deep breath and knocked.

"Come in," Spencer yelled from inside.

Ashley grabbed the handle and pushed the door open, allowing her body to follow the door inside.

"Hey there, what did you want to see me about," Ashley inquired.

"Hey Ash, I was hoping we could spend a few minutes catching up. I just want to see how you're feeling," Spencer offered.

Ashley gripped the back of the chair in front of her and leaned forward just slightly, exhaling as she looked straight ahead outside Spencer's window.

After a few minutes of silence, Spencer walked over to Ashley, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Ash, you okay?"

Smiling softly, Ashley nodded reassuringly.

"I'm doing alright, Spence. Actually, I've been writing a lot lately and was hoping to spend some time out in the courtyard today so I can finish some lyrics for the songs I've been writing."

"That's great, Ash. It sounds like you are finding the ways you cope best. That's important."Ashley smiled and stood up, slowly facing Spencer. She hadn't noticed how close Spencer had gotten to her until she turned around to face her. She locked eyes with the blonde doctor and was immediately lost in the ocean of blue.

Spencer glanced down at her feet then looked back up at Ashley, smiling shyly. A piece of hair found its way into her eyes, but before she could do anything, small, tan fingers took residence on her right cheek.

Ashley tucked the blonde hair behind Spencer's ear and fought the urge to allow her fingers to trace her jaw line.

She is so beautiful. There's just something about her eyes that make me feel like…like I'm safe; like I'm home.

Spencer took her bottom lip between her teeth, relishing in the feeling of Ashley being so close to her for that quiet moment. Closing her eyes, she took a small step backwards and cleared her throat.

"Well, you should go ahead and head out while it's still so nice out. We can finish talking in the morning. I think you are set to come in around 10am for a session," Spencer stated.

Ashley frowned, brows furrowing, "Are you okay, Spence? Did I upset you or something?"

"No, not at all, Ashley. I just know you have things you want to do, and..um..we can just talk more later."

Ashley twisted her fingers together, while staring intently at her shoes.

"Do you want to come with me, Spence? You know, keep the tortured writer company?"

Ashley looked up at Spencer, hoping she would see agreement in the eyes she felt so comfortable staring into, but what she found was something totally different. She saw a questioning look, a look of confusion, almost. She knew she would be spending her afternoon alone before Spencer could even answer.

"Um, you know what, never mind. It looks like you have a lot on your mind right now. We'll just talk tomorrow, ok?"

Spencer couldn't seem to find her voice. She was struggling with the feelings that kept resurfacing whenever Ashley was around, and their close proximity just heightened those feelings…causing her to lose all control over her voice and body language.

By the time she regained her composure, Ashley was making her way to the door.

"Wait, Ashley."

The brunette paused, hand on the door knob, but never turned around.

"I'm sorry. I just mentally checked out for a minute there. I have a lot I need to do today, but I would love a rain-check, if that's okay?"

Ashley grinned to herself before glancing over her shoulder and shooting her charming smile Spencer's way, "I would like that, Spencer."

Spencer smiled and nodded, "Great. Well, get to your day. I will see you in the morning, Ms. Davies."

"I look forward to it, Dr. Carlin," Ashley replied, grinning and winking as she walked out into the hallway, heading for the courtyard.

Spencer turned and walked over to her window, crossing her arms and leaning her right shoulder against the glass.

"Hey blondie, you wanna come over and meet my famous dad after school today?"

"Cool. Are you sure?"

"Duh. You're my bestest and he's my dad. You totally have to meet him."

"I'm your bestest?"

"Well, yeah. You know that already!"

The little blonde girl found her body pressed into her friend in the tightest of hugs. Her heart swelling, but not knowing why.

"I love you, blondie. It's me and you."

"Forever?"

"Forever."

Spencer wiped the tears away that had found their way down her cheeks and stepped back away from her window.

I need to talk to Ashley about her "friend." I want to see what she remembers, but what if she makes the connection and isn't happy? Maybe I should re-assign her to Mitch, that way the tension between her and I is taken away. Ugh, I don't know what to do. You gotta remember, Ash. We can get through all of this together, if you can just remember.