A/N: All disclaimers are the same...I own nothing but the storyline. :) Hope everyone is well. Looking forward to your opinions and appreciate all those that you have shared to this point.
Spencer quickly gathered her items and exited Ashley's room, only turning to look at the brunette as she pulled the door closed. She saw Ashley sitting cross legged on her bed, staring down at her hands, never once looking up to acknowledge her exit.
After leaving Ashley alone, Spencer found herself shuffling quickly and quietly through the halls to her office. Thankful that no one was up so early in the morning, she effortlessly made her way to her safe haven. Slowly slipping through the door, she found Kyla sitting at her desk writing in a notepad.
Shit, I forgot she was still in here, Spencer thought.
Hearing the door shut, Kyla nearly jumped out of her chair.
"Damn Spencer, give a girl some warning next time. You scared the shit out of me."
"Sorry," Spencer muttered, never making eye contact with anything else but the gleaming floor.
"Wait a minute. Look at me Spencer," Kyla responded, getting up from her current position behind Spencer's desk and making her way to the meek looking girl in front of her.
Spencer raised her head to meet Kyla's eyes and saw the instant sigh from the girl in front of her.
"Why have you been crying? Sit down and tell me what is going on because this is NOT how your night together was supposed to end," Kyla demanded.
The tears started to stream down Spencer's face as she shook her head in regret and took a seat next to Kyla, sighing as she slumped forward with her face in her hands.
"People are starting to see things between your sister and me so I'm leaving the facility. I planned to tell Ashley first thing last night, but…but, one thing led to another, we fell asleep, and then this morning she was just so…I don't know…but the timing of me telling her was totally wrong, and now she thinks I used her after last night..."
"Okay, slow down girl. Bad timing, I get it, but you shouldn't have just left her in her room alone."
"She asked me to leave her alone, Kyla. She can't even look at me…" Spencer sobbed as the tears became more insistent.
Kyla rubbed her forehead, shaking her head at Spencer. "I get why you left Spencer, but why did you give in so easily? You should have stayed."
"I know," Spencer cried, "but I couldn't stay and watch her dissect our whole night together, chalking it up to just another one-night stand because of my weaknesses in telling her the truth beforehand."
The girls sat quietly for a little while before Kyla stood up and turned for the door, quickly making her way toward the hallway.
"Where are you…" Spencer began before the door to her office clicked shut, "…going."
Kyla jogged the halls back to her sister's room with the intention of fixing the situation before she had to head for home and a morning meeting.
Busting through Ashley's door, Kyla came to a stop and watched in silence as her sister sat crying on her bed…an open notebook in front of her, page covered in tears, and a pencil still resting between her fingers.
"Ash," Kyla started, "I'm so sorry you are hurting right now, but you have to know that Spencer's intentions were always good. She did NOT mean to hurt you. She just has piss-poor timing is all."
"I know."
"Then what the fu…"
"I just needed some time Kyla…I just NEED some time…to regroup and figure out how I feel about everything."
"Well, you have 2 hours, because I have to be out the door at 11:00 and I want at least 30 minutes with you to say goodbye before I head back," Kyla mused.
Ashley grinned, nodding at her sister in affirmation.
"I just wanted to write Kyla, clear my head…I mean, I made love to her, she told me she'd never walk out of my life again, and then turned around and said she's leaving because someone found out about our relationship. That's a lot to take in, in a short amount of time."
Kyla sighed, sitting next to her sister on her bed, reaching up to brush her hair out of her eyes, and dry her cheeks of any remaining tears.
"She is heartbroken right now, Ash. Just know she loves you, okay?"
"Okay," Ashley said, slumping into her sister to just revel in the closeness of her only real family.
5 hours later, after Ashley had spent time with her sister and then promptly shoved her out the door for home, she found herself alone at the piano in the great room. The rest of the facility, minus a few nurses and guards, were out at a family luau about 20 minutes down the beach.
Ashley sat in utter silence, running her delicate fingers over the keys in front of her. She knew she reacted poorly earlier that day, but she could admit she had trust issues since her last relationship worked out SO very well. She could also admit that she loved Spencer, and the thought of losing her scared her into near drug cravings. She couldn't allow that to happen, not now…not ever again.
Down the hall from where Ashley sat, Spencer chewed on the cap of her pen, trying to finish some documentation before leaving for the afternoon. She could hardly focus, her mind being consumed with thoughts of the feisty brunette she so badly wanted to hold again.
God, Ashley, I'd hope you would know I would never intentionally hurt you, Spencer thought.
Jotting down a few more quick notes, and placing the folders in her filing cabinet, the blonde retrieved her things and headed out the door, only stopping to lock her office.
Spencer quickly found a melody in the click of her shoes, but was surprised when that melody seemed to slowly fade out and into that of a piano.
Someone must be playing.
Making her way around the last corner and into the lounge, Spencer immediately recognized the curls in front of her. She crept slowly to the couch, next to the piano, and sat down, briefly making eye contact before doing so.
She locked eyes with Ashley once again and opened her mouth to speak when Ashley shook her head no and broke their stare to resume looking at the keys. Spencer could do nothing more than bow her head in guilt.
A few minutes of soft playing passed before Ashley spoke, so quietly that Spencer almost missed her words.
"No words…not right now."
Spencer simply nodded in understanding.
Ashley continued to stroke the ivory keys as Spencer sat back on the couch, never removing her eyes from the girl's hands in front of her.
Ashley found her voice somewhere during their time there and quietly started to hum the words she had quickly written earlier. The only light shone in from a window on the far side of the room, illuminating only the keys of the piano.
Quietly, the brunette allowed her words of truth to penetrate their quiet:
"The best thing about tonight is that we're not fighting.
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying,
I know you're wearing thin down to the core.
But hold your breath,
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,
Over again…
Don't make me change my mind.
I won't live to see another day I swear it's true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find…you're impossible to find.
This is not what I intended,
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart.
You always thought that I was drunker,
I may have failed but I have loved you from the start,
Oh…
Spencer rose from her seat and made her way over to the bench, sliding in next to Ashley, resting her hand on the brunette's thigh.
But hold your breath,
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,
Over again…
Don't make me change my mind.
I won't live to see another day I swear it's true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find…it's impossible so..."
"Breathe in so deep…breathe me in…
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep...
"Every night, forever," Spencer whispered out.
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you,
Over again…
Don't make me change my mind,
Or I won't live to see another day I swear it's true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find…
Tonight will be the night I will fall for you,
Over again….
Don't make me change my mind.
I won't live to see another day I swear it's true,
Because a girl like you is impossible to find…impossible to find."
Ashley sat staring at the keys in front of her, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. She could feel tears silently making their way down her cheeks, but she couldn't bring herself to meet Spencer's gaze just yet. She needed to just breathe for a minute.
Spencer sat staring at the beautiful profile next to her, but didn't make a move for nearly five minutes, until she reached forward to catch a falling tear on her finger. She then leaned forward, pressing her lips to Ashley's ear in a soft kiss before whispering: "I'm sorry."
Ashley barely shook her head, but Spencer nodded, placing another kiss on the spot behind her ear.
"I love you, and I'm sorry I didn't handle things better," the blonde whispered, still resting her forehead against the brunette's cheek.
Ashley slowly turned to meet the blue eyes she fell in love with so many years ago, a soft sigh escaping her when she allowed their foreheads to rest against one another.
"I'm sorry, too," Ashley admitted. "I love you so much that I'm scared of where we go from here."
Spencer could hear the fear in her lover's voice and it broke her heart.
"You continue being successful with your sobriety, and I continue loving you until you come back to me," Spencer answered.
Ashley remained where she was, with eyes closed, and softly nodded her head in agreement. She then shifted slightly to capture the blonde's lips in a soft, warm, tear-filled kiss.
Spencer sighed into the kiss, reveling in the feel of Ashley's warm tongue running against hers in the slowest, most sensual manner. She couldn't help but run a hand across the girl's cheek, enjoying touching her in the simplest way.
The kiss ended much sooner than she wanted, but Ashley pulled back, worried someone would see them as they were sitting in such an open room.
"I don't want someone to see us, Spencer. I don't want you to risk losing everything because of me."
"I would gladly give up everything for you, Ashley, I hope you know that."
A small smile graced Ashley's lips at hearing Spencer's simple words of commitment.
Me too, she thought, me too.
Song is Secondhand Serenade's "Fall for you."