AN: Thanks for the wonderful reviews, guys! Next part is here. Hope you'll enjoy!
Donald S. Brady Park
Falls Church, VA
1547 hours local
It's become our Sunday ritual. We spent Saturday doing something that I want, then spent Sunday with something Harm wants to do. Which nine of ten times brings us back to the park.
We lazily stroll through the park, our fingers laced together. Harm points something out every now then, then keeps his silence again. We don't talk a lot; just enjoy each others presence.
"Harm?" I say after a few minutes of silence.
He looks down at me. "What is it?" He can hear the shy tone in my voice that tends to come up every now and then.
I softly hold on tighter on his hand; unsure how to begin. "I've been thinking…" Oh god, how do I say this without sounding ungrateful? I take a deep breath. "You know I'm grateful for everything that you've been doing for me, right?"
He frowns. "Of course I know. You tell me 'thank you' at least a million times a day." He stops at a nearby bench and sits down. Pats the place next to him. "Come and sit, Mac."
I obey and sit down. Take his hand back into mine and rub it. Avoid his eyes.
Harm tilts my head up his, so that I have to look at him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Mac."
Yeah, I can tell him. I trusted him with my biggest secret, and I can tell him this. Then why is this so hard? I take another deep breath; then exhale. "I've decided that I'm going into therapy." So, that was it.
Harm softly smiles at me. "I think that's great, Mac."
What? I look up to him, completely thrown off guard. "Huh?"
He squeezes my hand. "Really. I think that you've made a good decision. What did you think that I was going to say?"
"That I was being ungrateful for everything you've done for me in the past couple of months. Which I'm not, really. If I could express to you how grateful I am, I'd spent forever saying 'thank you.'"
"Mac, I know that you're grateful. You're not letting me down by wanting to go into therapy." He locks eyes with mine. "I mean that. A therapist knows how to help you best. I can only do so much with what I'm doing. Complementing you, making sure that you now how I feel about you… I won't get to the actual problem. I'm not a therapist."
"So, you're not angry with me?"
Harm shakes his head. "Honey, I can't be angry with you for wanting what is best for you. You're the only one who can decide that. I'm proud of you for taking this big step."
My lips pull into a small smile. "Thank you. I'm pretty proud of myself too."
"I can imagine that. It's not an easy step to take."
It was. I'd been giving it thought for about a few weeks, and honestly couldn't really decide whether or not it would be good for me to do it. Figured that it couldn't hurt anymore than everything I'd already experienced and that it was probably better if I did go into therapy.
"Yeah, it was," I softly admit. "I'd been trying to figure out if it was really what I wanted or not. But I guess that in the end it's only for the better. I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything good on a personal level. I'm tired of feeling unworthy. Tired of constantly walking on my toes. It's all such a waist of my time. Of my energy."
Harm pulls me close and kisses my head. "I think you're doing the right thing, honey."
I nod. Yeah, me too. "Harm?" I ask again.
"Yes?"
"I took the liberty of making an appointment for next Thursday…" I don't even have to ask the question.
"I'll go with you, Marine. I'm going to be there all the way."
Smiling, I relax in his embrace. "Thank you."
"No problem." He pulls me close and we sit there, not saying anything.
I told him what was on my mind, and even though he had to ask me, he only had to ask once, and that is progress. Now I actually feel a bit better telling him things that weigh on my mind, instead of doubting about whether or not I should say it. I have the right on my own opinion.
About an hour later, we rise, lazily strolling back to the car and to our new favorite diner. Sunday ritual. Everyday should be like this.
TBC...