Soon Enough
A/N: I'm baaacccccck. I was absolutely blown away by everyone's reviews, and the review count, so I thank Cas, Cami, Chey, Lynn, and Leah,as usual. You guys are my lovely MSN and AIM lovers. I don't know what I would do without you. Also, thank you to my reviewers:princetongirl, lanenapr252005, Ellipses, Brucas True Live, whiters, onetreehillgirl066, BRUCASEQUALSLOVE, tripnfallbri, ariadnescurse, iluvmedou, Brucas2006, iheartBL, azmar, jac4127, brucas333, awhero, OTHbrucas4ever, cutiek88, B.P.Davis, brucasisl0v3, brucaschopia4ever, daisygirl24, brookeheartslucas, brucas3, brucasbrathanbaleybrachel, dancefever0234, FiallyPJ, othfan326, apple01. Some of you guys I know from Fanforum, the others are just faithful reviewers! Yay! I'm gonna stop now cause it sounds like I'm accepting an Oscar or something…lol. I hope you guys like this update. And yes, the title is actually a song. It's by Of Montreal.
Hope you enjoy….
Chapter 9
The Past is a Grotesque Animal
Brooke doesn't cry when he leaves, even though he probably expects her to. No, she holds herself together like she's learned to do, goes into the bathroom, and swallows a few more Tylenol than necessary.
She washes her face now, rubbing the soap feverishly across her skin, the mascara and eyeliner and blush and eye shadow and foundation all mixing in the basin of the sink. She lets her hair down from the fancy up-do she had gotten at the stylist. It crimps at the base of her neck, but Brooke doesn't really care.
She looks up in the mirror, and surprises herself when she sees a stranger looking back at her. It's Brooke, of course, but a more tired, defeated, angry and quiet version of herself than she had ever known. She wonders where that cheery party girl in high school went – the one that everyone loved.
She hasn't seen that girl in 4 and a half years.
She puts on a pair of sweatpants that she's had since high school and curls up in bed to watch Friends. She can't concentrate though, so she turns off the TV, and the light, and attempts to go to sleep.
Rachel comes home around two and comes into Brooke's bedroom for a second, leaning against the doorframe. It isn't until Rachel walks quickly over to the bed, curls up to the brunette and holds her soothingly in her arms, that Brooke realize that she's been crying this whole time.
-------------
"Wow."
Their sitting at the counter in the kitchen at Nathan and Haley's, and Lucas is eating cheerios moodily out of the box, as Nathan reads Brooke's letter.
Nathan looks up. "Wow."
"You said that already."
Lucas had been reluctant to share the letter with his brother. At first, Nathan had badgered Lucas for hours for details on what had happened in New York City. Then he had resorted to a different tactic: mockingly asking Lucas whether "brucas" had used birth control this time. Finally, Lucas caved.
"Dude…this is intense." Nathan looks back at the letter. "I mean, this basically sums up the mood swings, bitchiness, completely out-of-character personality Brooke had for the latter half of senior year. I mean, it was like she was PMSing 24/7. Sometimes I was literally afraid to be around her."
Lucas forces a laugh, because the reality of this situation isn't very funny at all.
"It all makes sense now. Look: 'I let you go, hoping, wishing that you would have something more to say than, "I'm sorry."'" Nathan looks up. "Is that really all you said to her?"
Lucas grumpily picks at the peeling paint of the counter. "I was just really caught off guard. I had no idea she was gonna' break up with me."
"So what does this mean?" Nathan asks.
Lucas looks confused. "What do you mean?"
"Like, for you and Brooke? She basically just said she was still in love with you."
Lucas laughs. "Not really. I think she was talking about something more along the lines of her being in love with me through senior year. A lot changes in four years."
At that moment Jamie runs into the room, clutching the phone in his hands. "Aunt Brooke's on the phone! Brooke's on the phone!"
Nathan shoots a look at Lucas and takes the phone from Jamie. "Hey Brooke," he says into the phone.
-------------
She's home again, only this time, things feel different. The nervousness in the air is not about seeing everyone after such a long time; it's about seeing Lucas for the first time since their blowout.
She avoids him for a good week, throwing herself into work on the boutique. She spends 12 hours a day there, observing construction, making sure all the right walls are put up in all the right places, and that there are exactly 6 changing rooms, and that the register is up against the west wall.
She goes out to lunch with Haley a few days during the week and it takes that long to relay the whole incident with Lucas to her. Haley looks on, sympathetic, but doesn't really have any advice for Brooke other than to suck it up and talk to Luke.
Choosing to ignore that advice, Brooke takes Jamie out for ice cream on Thursday. After they finish the cones, they sit on the boardwalk, counting roller skaters, until finally Jamie speaks up.
"Why are you and Uncle Luke fighting?"
Brooke pauses and looks over at the earnest little boy. "Why do you think we're fighting?"
Jamie looks out over the river. "I heard daddy and Lucas talking about you, and they said you guys were mad at each other. Why?" he asks again.
She can't lie to someone that young and innocent, so with a sigh, she starts talking.
"See, Uncle Luke and I used to love each other very much. But then I went somewhere where we couldn't love each other." Brooke pauses, realizing that making her emotional state of mind an actual place, really made the whole break-up make more sense. "And so did he."
Jamie looks up at her in awe, as if she's telling the most interesting story in the world.
Brooke sighs. "Do you understand?"
Jamie nods solemnly. "But what kind of place could you go that made you fall out of love?"
She doesn't have an answer.
-------------
Nathan and Lucas are sitting in the living room playing NBA Live when Haley walks in and promptly turns off the console.
"Hey!" Nathan protests but Haley gives him a look of steel and he falls silent.
"Since you both are too lazy to do anything productive, and it's a beautiful Friday afternoon, I thought we would take a lovely jaunt downtown and visit Brooke at the boutique. All three of us," she says, shooting a look at Lucas.
"Their still doing construction though," Lucas groans. "Can't we wait until the opening?"
"And let you get off with another 3 weeks without having to see Brooke? I don't think so. You guys need to work things out."
Lucas turns to Nathan for support but Nathan just hakes his head. "As much as I love NBA live man, Hales is right. You guys have serious issues. Starting with the crappy birth control you were using in high school."
So Lucas gives in, and sulks behind Nathan and Haley all the way to the boutique. It's lunch hour, so when they get there, a slew of construction workers are sprawled out on the street, eating sandwiches and drinking beer. One is feeding a stray dog.
Haley pushes open the door and the new bell above the entrance jingles. Brooke is at the register, munching on a Caesar salad and reading Glamour standing up. She looks up, and her gaze travels from Haley, to Nathan, and then stops and falters on Lucas.
As they approach her, Lucas takes in her appearance. She's wearing skinny jeans and a tank top, with a very familiar necklace hanging around her neck. He notes how toned and thin her arms look, and how smooth her hair looks at it sits in low braids over her shoulders.
He snaps out of his reverie as Haley starts talking.
"The place looks great Brooke."
Her dimples show up. He had failed to see them during their last encounter, and he realizes how much he missed her smile. But the grin fades as she steals a glance at Lucas, and then looks down.
An awkward silence fills the air, before Nathan breaks the ice.
"So do you want to show us around?"
They're all thankful for this suggestion and she leads them around the store. But the tour ends as quickly as it started, and they're all back standing at the door.
"Well…this is awkward."
Brooke turns to Nathan. "It wasn't awkward until you made it awkward."
"Could've fooled me," Haley muttered.
"Okay! Okay." It's the first time Lucas has spoken and his words come out more dramatic than he expected. "Brooke." When he says her name, she turns to him, surprised. "Can we talk?"
Haley looks satisfied and Nathan looks relieved. Brooke looks reluctant but she nods, and motions to the back of the store.
She leads him into a storage closet and turns on the light as the door shuts behind them. They just stand there for a minute, 6 feet apart, Brooke staring at the floor and Lucas staring at her.
"Here." He pulls the letter from his back pocket. It's creased deeply by now from the numerous times he's opened and read it. He holds it out to her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read it."
She hesitates, staring at his outstretched arm, and for a split second he sees tears in her eyes. But then he blinks, and their gone.
Brooke reaches her hand out to take the letter, and for a second their fingers touch. But then she pulls her hand away and looks up at him.
"Keep it."
"Brooke…"
"No, really. It's not a big deal." She smiles softly, but Lucas can tell its not real. He decides to let it go, though, and he pockets the letter.
"I'm sorry too, you know. You know, for…"
"I know." Both their voices are at a whisper and she realizes now, that maybe they can finally be friends again.
But this is only the surface mending. The wounds go much deeper.
-------------
Lydia calls her after a week.
"You can't stay in a hotel anymore."
Brooke groans into the phone and collapses on the bed. "Mom, I'm not going to buy a house."
"Why not? You keep going back down there. Are you trying to tell me that you're not down there for good? Clearly there's something you like about that god forsaken town, so the least you could do is buy a house."
For the first time in a long time her mother actually makes sense. So as soon as she hangs up with her mother, she reluctantly calls her real estate agent.
The first house she sees sits on 10 acres of land, and is 2 stories, 6,000 square feet, and has a 3-car garage. She buys it, not because she needs a house that big, but because she knows she's never going to find a place she really calls home, and she thinks the biggest house will be the most satisfying.
A small part of her knows that's not true.
So she moves out of the hotel on Sunday, and it's slightly eerie to walk through a house so big with no furniture in it. She buys a bed and stocks the fridge, and by the next week has begun on decorating the living room.
When she was a little girl, she was in love with her house. Even before Lucas, she had always been the girl behind the red door, but it hadn't really meant anything until he said it. She has hazy memories of playing hide and seek with Peyton and hiding in closets or in the attic. She remembers the billiards room where her dad taught her how to play pool back when he actually had time for her. And she will never forget the kitchen, with its marble counters that Brooke used to love sprawling across when her mom wasn't home, and their cook, Charlotte, who made the best lasagna in the world.
This house has a kitchen with marble counters and it has a sunroom, which she could put a pool table in. It has an attic, and it has a hall closet perfect for hiding in. Somehow though, it's not the same. This house doesn't hold any memories. She can't point to the couch that she and Lucas fell asleep on while watching weird science, or sit on the porch chairs where they had sat when he tried to help her with Precalculus.
When Haley comes by for lunch one day, Brooke voices her concerns. How this house is so empty without memories. It's not like Lucas' house, or the apartment from senior, or even Nathan and Haley's house, places where Brooke had grown up.
"You'll make new memories," Haley says simply.
Brooke sighs. Clearly Haley doesn't get it.
-------------
He's sitting in the Blue Post drinking a beer and watching the game when Brooke walks in. At first he turns away from her, towards the TV because he knows that if he beckons her over, their conversation will surely turn awkward.
So much for being friends.
But then he feels a brush against his arm and she slides into the seat next to him. He glances quickly over at her, passing his eyes over hers (although in reality he's noting the shortness of her skirt, and how teasingly low cut her shirt lies. And then he begins to ponder whether he likes her hair more sexy and wavy like this, or more smooth and gorgeous it is when it's straight.)
"Hey." Her voice sounds tired, and she signals for the bartender. "Two apple martinis, please."
"Are you meeting someone?" he asks, his first words for the night.
She looks amused. "Haley, actually. She's parking the car."
"Oh." He had sort-of been looking forward to getting away from Haley, because she had been on his case all week, telling him that thepolite thing to do would be to go see Brooke at her new house. Yeah, cause that wouldn't be awkward at all.
Haley enters the bar, her hair up in a high ponytail, wearing jeans and a halter top. She sits down next to Brooke and takes a sip of her apple martini. Mid-swallow, she notices Lucas.
"This is a girls night out," she says teasingly. "No boys allowed. Shoo, shoo. Go home and help Nathan handle Jamie."
Brooke laughs. "Don't be so mean, Hales."
Haley scoffs into her drink and then turns to Brooke. "How's work on the boutique coming?"
"Great actually…" The conversation trails off into things Lucas finds trivially boring. He moodily peels the label off his beer and tries to concentrate on the game, but he keeps finding himself distracted by the occasional bump of Brooke's smooth leg under the table.
On the opposite side of him, another woman slides into the seat next to him. He all of a sudden feels trapped being the only guy at the bar. But then she starts talking.
"The Lakers sure do suck since they lost Verden."
He turns to her and realizes that she's talking to him. He shifts his weight away from Brooke and Haley and towards the girl. She's short, probably only about 5'2" or so, with dirty blonde hair that's pulled back, and green eyes.
He laughs. "Tell me about it. The Knicks sure lucked out there."
The conversation naturally progresses, long past the game is over, and he learns that her name is Lindsey, and she's a book editor. She's a music lover like him, and a basketball lover like him, and a book lover like him. When he turns away for a brief moment, he notes that Brooke and Haley are gone and he hadn't even realized it.
Around 10:30 Lindsey tells him she has to go because she has a meeting in the morning. He hesitates on the verge of asking for her number. A month ago, he would have asked without question. She is attractive, smart, funny, and clearly understands him. But so much shit has happened lately, that for some reason something is holding him back from asking.
When Lindsey stands, and he's still deciding, she turns back to him. "Hey, do you wanna' come over for awhile?"
He walks over to her, and speaks in a soothing voice. "I found your letter."
"What let – " but she's silences herself as she sees him pull out the cream colored envelope from his back pocket. She immediately flushes, and he isn't sure if it's from embarrassment or anger.
"About what you said, Brooke,"
"Get out." The words come out icy cold – filled with hate.
"What?"
"I said, get out." She looks at him expectantly but he doesn't move. "You went through my personal belongings, read something you weren't ever supposed to read, and now I wan't you out."
He tries to reason with her. "Brooke – "
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" She shoves him – hard, and immediately he's taken back for a split second to their fight in the anteroom at Nathan and Haley's wedding 5 years previously.
So he turns, defeated. She follows him to the elevator and he steps in and turns around. But before he can say anything else, she disappears into her bedroom and the doors slam in front of him.
Lindsey looks sort-of disappointed when all Lucas does is wish her a good night.
You know you love me...
SO PLEASE REVIEW )