Soon Enough
A/N: High school sucks. That's all I'm going to say. Other than, I'm sorry it's been so long since an update. Feel free to hit.
Thank you, Leah, for beta-ing this. And my wonderful regular beta Lynn (who love until the end of time), who would have beta-ed this if it wasn't 3am in Sweden when I finished the chapter. And who also read over the first half.
For those of you who are just telling me to shut up so you can read….here you go. I hope you aren't disappointed
Chapter 11
When She Loves You
"Tomorrow night?" Haley asks into the phone, jotting the note down on a post-it.
"Yeah. You, Nathan and Lucas. It'll be kind-of a house warming dinner party." Haley can hear Brooke smiling on the other end. "I've been going stir crazy holed up in this huge house that I think my boutique construction workers are sick of me badgering them 100 times a day out of boredom. I just need something to do with my hands. So I'll cook."
Haley laughs. "Um, no offense Brooke, but you're an awful chef."
"Hales, I've lived without a cook for four years. Do you think I could keep up my figure if I was ordering in every night? Trust me, I can cook."
"I trust you, Brooke. Believe me. Nathan may need a little coaxing, but I'm sure he'll come around."
Brooke laughs. "So 7 o'clock? I'll see you then."
They say good-bye and Haley hangs up. She ventures into the living room, where Nathan is watching football. "Dinner tomorrow at Brooke's," she says, collapsing next to him on the couch.
He turns, skeptical. "She's cooking?"
"Apparently she has culinary skills now," responds Haley. "Will you tell Lucas when you see him at the gym later?"
"No problem," says Nathan. A car honks outside and he stands up. "That's him, actually. I'll be home around six."
He picks up his gym bag, kisses Haley, and exits the house. Lucas is waiting in his Jeep, blasting La Rocca through the stereo. Nathan climbs into the passenger's seat and tries to switch the station, but Lucas pushes his hand away.
"My car. My music."
Nathan laughs. "Dude, you and Peyton are like the same person."
"Yeah, I think that's the problem."
"What do you mean."
Lucas shakes his head as he pulls down the driveway. "I don't know. I mean, I think one of the reasons Peyton and I didn't work was because we were so similar – you know? It just got to be boring."
"Weren't you going to propose?"
Lucas laughs. "Yeah, well, I was. But then Peyton happened to find the letters that Brooke sent me summer after junior year, and well, you can guess the ending."
Nathan looks bewildered. "You kept the letters?"
"I don't know why," Lucas says with a sigh. "It just seemed like the smallest part I had left of her, I didn't want to let go of."
"Brooke, you mean."
Lucas nods, and the ride lapses into a short silence.
"In my humble opinion, you were much better off when you were with Brooke."
"And you're telling me this now?" Lucas asks with kind-of an uncomfortable laugh.
"Yeah, I mean, she made you less of a brooder and the fact that you two were so different really made your relationship so much more exciting. Plus, Luke," Nathan regards his brother, "have you seen Brooke? She is, by far the hottest girl you will ever get into bed."
"Come on, Nathan." Lucas groans slightly.
"No, seriously, are you disagreeing with me? Cause if you've forgotten what she looks like, I think I might have her on tape…"
"That is not even close to being funny!" Lucas yells, but follows his words with a short laugh. "Did I ever tell you about the time in college when she caught me watching her take off her clothes?"
"WHAT?"
Lucas can't sleep. He'd just flown in to LAX about two hours ago, and even though it's 3:00 in the morning, North Carolina time, he's wide-awake.
Peyton had rolled over and kissed him groggily on the cheek when he had climbed into bed next to her, and he had only slightly welcomed her presence next to him. They had been working at this long distance relationship for nearly a year now, and as freshman year of college draws to a close, he feels a slight weakening of the connection between them.
The air conditioning in Brooke and Peyton's LA loft is broken, but the loud whirring of the fan isn't enough to drown out the giggles of laughter coming from the bedroom next to the one that he and Peyton lay in. He realizes now that Chase is either over, or on the phone with Brooke, and he regards this fact with a slight air of annoyance.
He really shouldn't be angry. He flies out to LA at least twice a month and crashes with them, but when Chase is at the apartment, and Brooke is walking around in just a sheet (like a few weeks ago when he ran into her in the kitchen at 3am), he finds it harder to keep concentrated on his blue-eyed goldilocks.
Lucas is the one who should feel like an outsider. Brooke goes to UCLA and Peyton and Chase attend UCLA,, while Lucas is off at UNC, but for some reason, he still feels like Chase is the odd one out. Chase stepped into their lives after the worlds biggest love triangle died, and he'll never fully understand the magnitude to which Brooke, Lucas, and Peyton's lives are intertwined.
He hears another squeal of laughter from the adjacent room, and all of a sudden his mouth feels dry, so he retreats to the kitchen for a glass of water. Stepping out into the dark hallway, a thin strip of light emits from Brooke's door, which is only open a crack.
For a split second, he considers pushing open the door, and telling Brooke to keep it down, but the cranky urge dies out, and instead he pauses in front of the barely open door.
He can't see Chase, but Brooke is standing in the center of the room. She's dressed in stiletto's, a black miniskirt, and a red halter top. His breath hitches in his throat as he's reminded of how incredibly hot she looks in red.
He isn't quite prepared for what happens next, as she moves her hand to the zipper on the side of her skirt and slowly slips the material off. Lucas realizes now what she's doing, but doesn't move away. His mouth gets drier as the skirt falls to the floor and her black lace underwear comes into view.
Her eyes are locked on the bed, and Lucas can see Chases' legs dangling off of it. She smiles in that flirty way of hers, seductively moving her hips to the soft beat that emits from the stereo.
When she reaches one hand behind her back to untie the halter, Lucas almost loses his balance from where he's leaning against the wall. He realizes what a creepy voyeur he's being, standing in the pitch-black hallway, watching his ex-girlfriend strip, but all guilty thoughts fly out of his mind as she pulls the shirt over her head.
The worst thing happens then. Brooke turns her head every slightly to the left and her eyes land on Lucas. He freezes, but even as he does, he goes hard as her gaze locks with his.
Brooke looks startled for a minute, and he feels like a deer caught in the headlights. But then she turns her head away, her long, straight, auburn hair swinging across her back. And, letting her eyes travel back to Lucas' for a split second, she unclasps her bra.
Chase is completely oblivious to Lucas' presence on the other side of the door, but Brooke knows exactly what's going on, as she slides off her underwear, leaving her in only stiletto's.
She's just stripped for both her current boyfriend, and her ex.
Nathan is still laughing ten minutes later when they park the car. Lucas just groans. "It's not that funny!"
"So what happened next?"
They get out of the car and enter the cool lobby of the gym. "Then we had a threesome, Nate." Lucas laughs. "No, she took off her shoes and walked up to the door and closed it in my face with a smirk."
"So you went into the bathroom and jacked off to mental images of your ex-girlfriend naked."
"Pretty much," he says, and they both laugh.
Entering the locker room, Nathan just shakes his head. "So she actually saw you, and didn't stop. Well, did you guys ever talk about it?"
"God, no." Lucas laughs. "Although at breakfast the next morning she made some sly comment, thanking me for not using any of the hot water to take a shower."
Nathan bursts into another fit of laughter, and Lucas just rolls his eyes.
IIIIIIIIIIIII
Brooke can hear the grains of rice crunching under her feet as she stumbles across the kitchen carrying the heavy pot of chicken. She checks the clock. It's 6:54, and she's just barely getting the Paella in the oven.
"Fuck," she mutters, as the doorbell rings. She's still in her sweatpants and apron, and there's flour all over her face. Wiping her hands on a towel, she emerges in the hallway and pulls open the front door.
Lucas takes in her appearance with a laugh. "Hey Cinderella," he says, and she instantly experiences a flash of déjà vu. He hands her a bottle of red wine, and, rolling her eyes, she pulls open the door to let him in to the house.
"You've yet to burn the house down – that's a plus."
She smiles slightly. "Here, you can wait in the living room. I just have to finish dinner and go change."
"Anything I can help you with?"
Brooke pauses. "Actually there is." She pulls open one of the drawers of an armoire that's in the hallway, taking out a set of placemats and napkins. "Set the table," she says, depositing them in his arms.
She enters her bedroom to the ringing of her cell phone. "Hello?" she says into the receiver, picking it up from her nightstand.
"Hey Brooke, it's Peyton." Brooke is surprised to hear the blonde's voice for the first time in over a month.
Instead of her usual playful, "P. Sawyer!" Brooke just sighs and sits down on her bed. "Hi Peyton."
Peyton had gone back to LA just a few days after Brooke's revelation. Brooke hadn't talked to her since, and she knows that the phone goes both ways, but Peyton hadn't even mentioned the whole ordeal to Brooke before she left. So Brooke simply chose not to share any more information.
"How's life?"
"Peyton we haven't spoken in a month. What did you call me for?" Brooke knows the words sound harsh, but in a way she feels betrayed by her best friend, who Brooke knows for a fact has been talking to Nathan, Haley and Lucas.
There's a short pause on the line. "I just wanted to talk."
"I'm having people over for dinner. Can I call you back later?"
"Sure. Who are you having over?"
"Lucas, Nate and Haley."
"Oh." The tone in Peyton's voice changes and Brooke wonders for a second whether Peyton feels left out, 3000 miles away.
The brunette softens her voice. "I'll talk to you later Peyton. Bye." She hangs up before she can hear the farewell from her friend.
Brooke's halfway down the stairs when Nathan's booming voice echoes through the hallway. "Davis! Get down here, I think Lucas is poisoning your dinner."
She takes the steps two at a time and enters the kitchen. Haley and Nathan are seated on stools at the counter and Lucas is standing in front of the Paella, depositing spices into the dish.
"What are you doing?" she walks around the counter and playfully shoves him away, dipping a finger into the dish to taste it.
"Firstly, I saved it from a very charred death. Secondly, I was just adding a little flavor."
Brooke rolls her eyes. "I'm not dumb. I think I know how to do that myself. It's cooking 101."
"Sorry, I wasn't under the impression that you were matched in skill level with the contestants on Top Chef."
As they move into the dining room and begin dinner, the conversation shifts around, from Jamie, to Karen and Lily, to Lucas' new book. At one point, Haley turns to Lucas.
"What ever happened to that girl from the bar?"
"What girl?" asks Lucas.
"The one you met when we ran into you at the Blue Post," Brooke chimes in.
"Oh." Lindsey had slipped from Lucas' mind from the moment he turned down the invitation to go back to her place. "Nothing."
"You never told me about a girl," says Nathan, looking slightly emotionally wounded.
"That's cause it wasn't a big deal." Lucas sighs. "We just went our separate ways."
"You didn't get her number?" Brooke asks with a slight air of teasing in her voice
"No," says Lucas, growing oddly irritated with Brooke's last comment. "Why should I have?"
Haley shrugs. "It just seems like you guys were hitting it off when Brooke and I left."
" Aw," says Nathan. "He's probably just still pining over Peyton, wounded about her departure from Tree Hill." He's teasing, fully aware that his brother has been over Peyton for awhile now, but Haley doesn't hear the mockery in her husband's voice.
"You're still into Peyton?
Lucas is about to open his mouth to respond, but it's Brooke who speaks up next.
"Who wants dessert?"
IIIIIIIIIIIII
In the kitchen, Brooke transfers the pie onto a plate. Her friends' voices drift in from the dining room and she breathes a sigh of relief when she realizes they've changed the subject of conversation.
She doesn't know why she put an end to the conversation before Lucas could answer Haley's question. Why should it bother Brooke if he was still longing for Peyton? She had bigger things to think about then the on-again-off-again roller coaster of a relationship of the two blondes.
Brooke spent the first year of college listening to Peyton complain about Lucas and their relationship, and Brooke realized when she moved to New York that it was nice not to have to play Psychiatrist anymore.
IIIIIIIIIIIII
"I have to say, top notch cuisine, Cheery," says Lucas, letting his fork fall to the empty plate with a clatter. "I'm sorry I doubted you."
"Give her a break," says Haley with a laugh. "Brooke has never been a terrible cook."
Nathan laughed. "You certainly proved me wrong," he says, addressing Brooke. "Although, Hales is right," he continued. "I've never had to throw up after eating your cooking. Remember up at Rachel's cabin that time? You cooked us a decent meal. A meal that you left us to clean up the mess of while you two," he points to her and Lucas, "disappeared to go have sex."
An uncomfortable silence settles over the table, although Nathan looks oblivious to what he said wrong.
Brooke doesn't turn to look at Lucas, but she can feel his gaze on her out of the corner of her eye.
Haley clears her throat. "Well, I think we're gonna take off," she says, standing from the table. "We told the babysitter we would be home by 11 and it's – " she checks her watch, " – 9:30," she finishes slowly, before looking up. "Well, you never know how bad traffic will be."
The married couple is gone amidst Nathan's confused protests before Brooke can blink an eye, and suddenly it's just her and Lucas alone in the dining room.
Finally it's him who breaks the silence. "Look, Brooke, about that weekend…"
"It was my fault."
He looks up. "What do you mean?"
She sighs, suddenly exhausted. "I forgot to take my birth control pill one day."
"Oh." He pauses. "I actually meant, what did you mean by 'fault.""
She's confused by his question. "It was my fault that I got pregnant."
Lucas shakes his head. He stares at the table for a minute, before looking up and smiling at her softly. "This may sound crazy but I would have thought of your pregnancy as a blessing rather than a curse."
Their eyes lock together, and Brooke doesn't say anything – she lets him continue.
"If you hadn't miscarried, and if we hadn't broken up, I don't think we would have been as lost as we were." A pause, and then, "I mean, yeah, it would have been hard having a baby at 17. But I honestly think we would have stayed together, and been as happy as Nathan and Haley and Jamie are now."
She's suddenly shy, tearing her gaze away from his sharp blue eyes. What had he just said? Was he implying that he wishes they were still together? When Brooke looks back at him, she notices the small signs of that boyish blush of embarrassment that he used to get. Then he shrugs. "Who knows."
IIIIIIIIIIIII
She tells him that he doesn't have to help her clean up, but Lucas ignores her. "Since Nathan and Haley abandoned you, I figure the least I can do is help you with the dishes."
Oddly, there is no dishwasher in the house, so Brooke fills the sink and dips her hands into the soapy water, giving Lucas the task of drying dishes and putting them back in the cupboard.
"So how's your life been?" He asks her after a few minutes of only the sound of splashing water and clattering plates.
In that moment, Brooke feels like she could tell him everything. How she's been living the past four years in a sort-of robotic shell, holding on to the hope that someday she would figure out how she was supposed to live her life. How the only real friend she has in New York is Rachel. How every time a guy hits on her, it doesn't make her feel good like it used to. How she has no idea why she is so hesitant to be in a relationship.
She aims for as close to the truth as her conscience will let her speak. "Fine, I guess. Just lonely."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. I guess just being in this big and empty house makes me more aware of how alone I am." She wonder if that comes out melodramatic and needy, but, stealing a glance at Lucas, he just nods. Then he opens his mouth to say something, but then seems to decide against speaking.
"What?" she asks, her curiosity getting the best of her.
"It's just, any guy would be crazy not to fall for you, Brooke."
Her stomach flips over, something she hasn't felt it do in close to five years.
"Your brilliant, strong, gorgeous, and independent. I'm sure the guy for you is out there, somewhere."
The compliments wash over her and she gets an odd feeling of giddiness, and that same sense of déjà vu that she's gotten earlier. But it fades away quickly, and is replaced by an overwhelming emptiness.
"Maybe. But I'm afraid to open my heart up like that again."
He smiles somewhat sadly. She wonders if he remembers too. "Isn't the alternative scarier?"
Yes, she decides, he most definitely does.
IIIIIIIIIIIII
By the time he leaves, it's nearly midnight. She walks him to the door from where they had been talking in the living room, and watches as he shrugs his coat on over his shoulders. He opens the door, but before stepping out, pauses and looks back at her.
"Hey…do you want to maybe get dinner sometime?" Lucas tone is cautionary; he doesn't want to scare her. For a second, after he asks her, Brooke stands there looking like the vulnerable teenage girl he once knew and hurt, but then she smiles somewhat shyly.
"I'd like that."
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