Shot To Hell by ceilidh
A/N:- All I'll say for this chapter is that it's McAbby, all the way - and just my thoughts on why Tim can always forgive her so easily. As always, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Twelve - The Healing Heart
Inevitably, tears came first. Overcome with so many emotions, they just clung to each other, and cried. Other than choked whispers of names, the words each needed so badly to say just couldn't come.
They would come, of course, but not yet. Those words of mutual healing still needed time to form.
So they simply held each other – one in still sobbing apology, the other in silent, soothing forgiveness.
She could feel his heartbeat, too. A soft, steady confirmation that he was there, and still holding her. But it reminded her, too, of how close she'd come to losing this priceless chance to hear it again.
She'd almost lost him. She'd hurt him so deeply, and then he'd almost died, before she could tell him –
"T – Timmy, I'm sorry - how could I have done this to you? I'm sorry, Timmy. I'm so, so sorry-"
"I know, Abs, I know you are, I'm sorry, too, for putting you through all this… sh, now, it's okay, it's gonna be alright now-"
Damn it, how could it be alright? How could her life ever be alright, without him there to share it? And how could she hear his voice now, when he was lying there, so cold and lifeless, in front of her?
How could his voice possibly reach her now? He was dead, his throat ripped brutally apart, and –
"Abby, it's okay... sh, I'm here. It's alright, Abby, I'm here-"
He was, too. She could feel him, warm and strong, and so solid – wrapping her into gentle safety. And as his voice broke through the horrors of her imagination, the lifeless face in front of her changed.
The injuries which had killed him, so horrifically, melted away into Tim McGee's breathtaking smile. Eyes which should have been closed forever blinked open again – big and bright, full of beautiful green life.
In her imagination, she'd just seen an impossible miracle. Her cherished Timmy had just come back from the dead. As she found those eyes and smile in reality now, that miracle just proved too much for Abby to take.
"T – Timmy, you're-…! But – But you were… you wer-"
Then she was crying again, in helpless buckets onto his shoulder. Crying in pure, overwhelming relief.
Puzzled by why she'd stared up at him, in such disbelief, Tim then winced in sickened realization.
He'd almost died. He was still haunted by its trauma himself, so he knew Abby would feel the same. No wonder she clung to him so fiercely, beyond reach of the comfort he wanted so badly to give her.
In fresh tears himself now, all Tim could do was hold her, hold her hand against his heart, and let his own, living body speak for him. And through this simple, silent contact, the next stage of this shared healing between them could begin.
When they'd been together, as lovers, and she'd woken, shaking, from nightmares just like this one – yes, just as he was doing now, he'd held her closer, kissing her hair while he rocked her calm again.
His voice had brought her immeasurable comfort then. It brought Abby even greater comfort now.
"Sh, Abs, it's okay. It's okay, Abby, I'm here. I'm alright, Abs, I'm right here-"
The whisper that eventually answered him still choked with tears – but it still made Tim McGee smile.
"I – I know, Timmy, but I… I just need to crug-"
Crug?!? What the he-? Ah yes, 'cry' and 'hug'. C'mon, McGenius, your IQ's in triple figures. Use it.
Still smiling at this dry self-mockery, Tim rested his head back onto tousled pigtails, closed his eyes again, and let his mind contentedly drift.
Like so much else about her, Abby had a language all her own. He'd always loved it. He always would. But then, he loved everything about her. Despite their many differences, he just simply loved her.
No other woman that he'd ever known - not that there'd been many - had caught his heart as she'd done. And none of them had made him ignore his chronic fear of needles so that he could show her how he felt.
Against her dizzying variety of cobwebs, crosses and dragons, of course, it was pretty tame, but – no, however badly it had made his butt sting, he'd never regretted his decision to go with 'mom'
More than anything, though, he loved her strength and her passion – her truly indomitable spirit. Like him, she'd had to overcome so many hurdles, and ignorant prejudice, to get where she was today.
She was brilliant, so unique, and yet such an outsider and… yeah, God knew, he knew what that felt like. As he'd painfully found himself, having a mind so far beyond others was no bed of black roses.
He'd been seen as a freak - finding friends among his cruelly teasing classmates only when exams had come around.
Realizing his lifelong dream hadn't been easy either. He'd had to fight like hell to make it happen.
This career, too, its consequences, and the constant horrors that he had to deal with, would never be easy. And he knew Tony and Gibbs, Ziva and Ducky, would all support him as much as his real family, but – no, for all that, when the dark times proved too much, Tim knew he'd always need his Abby the most.
More than any of them, even his own parents, even Sarah - no, Abby knew him better than anyone he knew. As his kindred spirit, she understood him. And she knew how to keep him out of the darkness which so frequently threatened them.
Yes, she'd hurt him, so deeply, and he'd vowed he'd never forgive her, but – no, he just couldn't do it. His heart was just too compassionate, and her hold on it was just too strong, for that to ever happen.
She was his rock. His soulmate, the only person he knew who could genuinely understand him. And from that single, simple fact, Tim knew he'd always forgive her.
Every time she looked up at him with those spellbinding eyes, just as they were nervously doing now – no, Tim McGee knew he'd smile, just as he did now, softly kiss her forehead, and forgive his Abby for just about anything.