Gack, sorry, meant to have this up sooner. Fortunately (or unfortunately), this is the second to last chapter, so there won't be too many more delays in the future. Anyway, enjoy!
INTERMISSION!
(It's been six months since the chandelier fell and a masquerade ball is going on.)
Masqueraders: dance, make merry
Manager: I am so proud of myself for setting this all up.
Madame Giry: Everything has been going so well for the past few months, don't you think?
Everyone: agrees
(Raoul and Christine are preparing to join the party. Christine has a giant ring on a chain around her neck.)
Christine: Oh, Raoul, honey bunnykins! I love you! I'm so excited about our secret engagement. By the way, how does this ring look?
Raoul: It looks so great in your cleavage, baby.
Christine: giggles Thanks.
Raoul: Oh, uh, by the way, why is our engagement so secret?
Christine: Shh, I can't tell you.
(They join the party and everyone resumes dancing and having fun. Suddenly a giant, creepy, red figure appears at the top of the stairs. Everyone stops partying and stares.)
Phantom: Yo, what up, peeps?
(He starts descending the stairs and looks around at the stunned faces.)
Phantom: What, you didn't think I would really leave?
Meg: shakes head. No one else moves.
Phantom: Hm, whatevs. Hey, where's the manager?
Raoul: Points. Manager looks terrified.
Phantom: Great. Well, just so you know, you have to put on my opera or else. Here's the score. Tosses it. Walks over to Christine. Hey, nice ring in your cleavage. Too bad you CAN'T KEEP IT BECAUSE YOU BELONG TO ME! rips it out, swirls his cape dramatically, and disappears in a puff of smoke.
Meg: Whoa.
(Everyone besides Raoul and Madam Giry discreetly leaves the stage.)
Raoul: Madame Girrrryyyy, I know you know something...You're just so secretive and all-knowing. What do you know?
Madame Giry: Um, nothing! I know nothing!
Raoul: disapproving stare
Madame Giry: Fine, fine, just stop looking at me like that! Okay, it was, like, a long time ago and I was at this freak show. There was this dude locked up in a cage and he could do, like, magic tricks and architecture and play music and stuff. Oh, and he was an inventor, too. The people said he'd built some freaky mirror thing for the Shah of Persia.
Raoul: Really?
Madame Giry: Yeah. And he was, like, creepy looking. Deformed. Then he disappeared one day and was never heard from again.
Raoul: OMG, it's the Phantom!
Madame Giry: Time to go! Disappears mysteriously
Raoul: Wait, I have more, oh, never mind.
(Back to the manager's office! With more notes!)
Manager: Holding up a couple notes Noooooooo! I thought I was through with these things! Ugh, this one says "The orchestra sucks. Fix it." Well, isn't that supremely unhelpful. And also, "Fire the bad chorus members. Also, whoever can't act gets a horrible role." Great...
(Carlotta and Piangi burst into the office)
Carlotta: It's horrible! My part is so horrible!
Manager: Well, I'm sorry, but-
Piangi: My part is just as bad!
Manager: Not you too! Wait, who are you?
Piangi: Piangi, Carlotta's boyfriend. The lead tenor. Remember me?
Manager: Um, sorry, no. Have you even been in the show until now?
Piangi: Shrugs. Exits.
Carlotta: Oh, the things I must put up with!
(Christine enters)
Manager: Hey, look it's the star of the new show, Christine!
Carlotta: Pfft. She's not good enough to be the star.
Manager: Shut up.
Carlotta: She's totally setting this all up.
Christine: No, I'm not! How dare you? I don't even want to do this!
Sopranos: Are on verge of catfight
(Meg and Madame Giry enter at an opportune moment)
Meg: Hey, guys, there's another note! It's instructions for the new opera.
Madame Giry: clears throat The instructions are "Carlotta can't act, Piangi needs to lose weight, and Christine will be great if she doesn't abandon me."
Meg: What do you think?
(Raoul enters before anyone can reply.)
Raoul: Guess what? I just came up with a plan! It's perfect. Okay, so we put on the Phantom's freaky opera and he comes because Christine's there, of course. But... wait for it, wait for it, okay, we put a ton of armed police dudes there to shoot him. It's genius!
Christine: You do know he's probably listening to you right now?
Raoul: Did you say something, honey?
Christine: Never mind.
Madame Giry: This will never work.
Manager: Yuh-huh! It totally will.
(Christine has a sudden breakdown in the middle of the floor.)
Christine: Shut up! Raoul, help me! Your plan is kind of freaking me out. I don't want to do it! He'll probably kidnap me again and keep me down in that depressing cellar forEVER and make me sing for him!
Raoul: Well, um, I suppose that is a possibility...
Christine: Raoul, what do I do? I'd feel bad for betraying him, 'cause he taught me to sing and everything, but if I don't he'll kill us all! I have to agree, but, it's scary!
Raoul: Uh, yeah. Also, just so you know, the fate of the opera house is up to you. No pressure or anything.
Christine: Meep.
(Meg and Christine come onstage as everyone else leaves because it's a new scene.)
Meg: So, um, Don Juan rehearsals aren't going well.
Christine: Piangi can't pronounce words correctly!
Meg: And the piano started to play itself during rehearsals. It was freaky. Um, yeah.
(They leave the stage. Suddenly we're in a graveyard.)
Christine: Daddy, I miss you! I wish you were alive again, without being, like, a vampire or a zombie or something creepy like that. Yeah, I miss you!
(Suddenly the Phantom steps out from behind a grave.)
Phantom: Christiiiiinnnnee...
Christine: Who's there?
Phantom: It's um, your angel of music!
Christine: Oh! Angel! I missed you! Sorry I abandoned you.
Phantom: It's fine. Or it will be, if you just come to me.
(Raoul has been watching from the sidelines and decides it's time to intervene.)
Raoul: Christine! That's not your dad!
Christine: looks over, sort of as if in a trance Oh, Raoul, how nice...
Raoul: Let her go, fiend!
Phantom: You are brave for a stuck-up aristocrat. Let's see how you hold up now! Pulls out a staff of doom Ha! Waves staff threateningly.
Raoul: Is something supposed to be happening?
Phantom: Where are the fireballs? I was sure there were fireballs in here... Examines staff closely
Raoul: Uh, we'll just be leaving, then.
Phantom: No, wait! I've got something! Starts chucking rocks at them Take that!
Raoul: Oh, really? Bring it! (Makes hand gesture)
Christine: No, Raoul, we're leaving now. Come on. Drags him off.
Phantom: Fine, be that way. But you know what this means? THERE WILL BE WAR!
(Meanwhile, back at the Opera House...)
Manager: So, police dudes, you're all ready?
Main Police Dude: Yep.
Manager: Great!