I am so sorry it took me so long to update. I kind of forgot about the story, in part due to the start of NaNoWriMo. Anyway, this is the last chapter. However, I will be writing a Christmas themed story for a prompt at the Masked Ball community at Livejournal, so that'll probably be up around January or so, after the authors are announced on Livejournal. You know, just in case anyone wants to read more of my writing. [/self-pimping] All right, enjoy the final chapter.
(Finally! It's Don Juan! And we're cutting in right after the chorus leaves, due to the absence of a chorus.)
Piangi (as Don Juan): So, Passarino. She thinks I'm you and you're me and you'll dress up as me so she's sure you're me and then everyone will get drunk and I'll come home and convince her to come hide with me in my bedroom. Got it?
Passarino: (nods and is never seen again.)
(They both exit and Christine enters as Aminta)
Christine: I'm so innocent! Hehe!
(The Phantom enters instead of Piangi, but no one can tell because he's covered in a conveniently huge black cloak and not a voice range lower, unlike SOME people.)
Phantom: I know why you're here, and you know why I'm here, so let's not even pretend. Instead, let's sing a song with totally unsubtle metaphors and similes!
Christine: Okay!
Phantom: Raging fire! Rich desire! Sweet seduction!
Christine: Speech disappearing into silence! Entwining bodies! Racing blood! Buds bursting into bloom! Flames will CONSUME US!
Phantom: Yes! Uh, I mean, we've crossed the bridge so, something... something....we'll watch it burn!
Christine: Wait, you're not Piangi, are you? I think I know where this is going...
Phantom: No! Christine, stay with me forever while I serenade you with the song you sang with that wimpy aristocrat! Here, have a ring!
(He extends a ring to her. She stares at it.)
Christine: Um, sorry.
(She yanks off his mask exposing his ugly face to the WORLD!)
Phantom: AGGGHHHHH! NOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!
Christine: Sorry...
Crowd: (Gasps)
Phantom: YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!
(He pulls her away and starts yanking her down musty passageways while focus moves to everyone else. Carlotta comes out from behind a corner screaming and holding Piangi's dead body.)
Carlotta: Piangi! My boyfriend! He's dead!! (starts crying over the dead body)
Manager: Noooo! The Opera House is ruined! All my money down the drain! Well, at least I don't have to listen to any more terrible singing, but still! (starts crying over a handful of money)
Raoul: (Gasp) No!
Madame Giry: (grabs his hand and begins leading him away) Come with me, I can take you to him!
Raoul: Okay?
Madame Giry: But remember, keep your hand at the level of your eyes!
Raoul: What? But that makes no sense!
Madame Giry: It doesn't have to! Just follow me!
(We return to Christine and the Phantom, who is currently throwing a hissy fit at Christine in the gondola.)
Phantom: HOW COULD YOU?
Christine: Sheesh, I said I was sorry.
Phantom: DID YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON I LIVE DOWN IN THIS RATHOLE IS BECAUSE EVERYONE HATED MY HIDEOUS FACE?
Christine: Sorry!
(We now see Madame Giry leading Raoul down familiar-looking dark passageways, suddenly stopping.)
Raoul: Why are we stopping?
Madame Giry: I will go no further.
Raoul: Why?
Madame Giry: I don't really know. But you can probably find the way yourself, right? He lives across the lake.
Raoul: Huh?
(She leaves and he just stands there awkwardly.)
Raoul: What? I'M SO CONFUSED! I NEED HELP!
(Suddenly a Persian man appears.)
Persian: Fear no more, confused Vicomte! The Persian is here!
Raoul: The who?
Persian: (sighs and rolls eyes) Of course you wouldn't know me, I'm never in any of these things. I don't see why, though. I think I'm just a peachy person to be around...
Raoul: Um, hello? I need help here.
Persian: Oh, right! Follow me, and remember to keep your hand at the level of your eyes.
Raoul: Why does everyone keep telling me that?
(The Persian doesn't answer, but leads him a bit further, then stops.)
Raoul: What now?
Persian: I don't want to take you any further.
Raoul: And why?
Persian: Well, the last time I led someone down here, we ended up in the torture chamber, so I'm leaving you here. Don't worry, though. You're almost there. Bye! (He exits)
Raoul: Torture chamber? (gulps, but continues on.)
(And...back to the Phantom and Christine, who are now in the Phantom's lair.)
Christine: (Sighs) So, what are you going to do to me now?
Phantom: Do you know I'm still a virgin?!
Christine: Um, wow.
Phantom: My mommy never loved me! And now you have to stay here with me forever and stare at my HIDEOUS FACE for all eternity!
Christine: Yeah, it's really not so scary once you get used to it. Your personality on the other hand...
(Suddenly Raoul shows up.)
Raoul: Christine!
Christine: Raoul! My hero!
Phantom: Oh, perfect! I was hoping you would show up.
Raoul: Really?
Phantom: Oh, yes.
Raoul: Something seems wrong here...
Phantom: Come in, come in, and don't worry. I would never harm Christine. Because everything is YOUR FAULT!
(He nooses Raoul suddenly.)
Raoul: Nnnggk. Oh, my hand at the level of my...ohhhh. Now I get it! Anyway, I knew it was too good to be true.
Phantom: Um, duh! So, Christine, here is your choice of doom. Marry me, and I let him go. Refuse, and I'll KILL HIM! Mwahahahahahaha!
Christine: You're really good with no-win situations, aren't you?
Phantom: (evil smile)
Raoul: Christine, don't do it! I came all the way down here for you and it would really defeat the purpose if you went with him.
Christine: Hmm, it's such a hard decision...
Raoul: HOW?
Phantom: Just decide already before I kill him out of boredom!
Christine: (looks thoughtful) Hmm...
(Suddenly she goes up to the Phantom and kisses him. A lot. For a long time. He freaks out, but then decides it's okay and enjoys it. They finally stop.)
Raoul: NNNNGGGHHH!
Phantom: (Stands frozen for a couple minutes before grabbing a dangerous implement and holds it over Raoul's head, then cutting him down. Sniffles and rubs one of his eyes before turning to face the couple now making googly eyes at each other. There is chanting in the distance from a mob someone put together.)
Mob: WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, PHANTOM, AND WE ARE COMING!
Phantom: Both of you, leave me and go back to your happy lives with each other!
Christine: But...you just said.... I thought....what?
Phantom: You're not making this any easier! Go. Now. With. Him.
Christine: But, what about you?
Phantom: (sniffles) Just...leave me!
Christine: But then you'll be all alone.
Phantom: No duh, woman, now just leave!
Christine: How about one more kiss before I leave?
Phantom: No! Just leave before I change my mind!
Raoul: Christine! Come on! Let's leave before the mob gets here! I have an irrational fear of pitchforks!
Christine: Oh, fine. Bye, Angel! I'll be sure to write!
Raoul: Christine!
Christine: I'm coming!
(She leaves and the Phantom begins staring with the stuffed animal that serves as his music box.)
Phantom: You would never leave me, would you?
Stuffed animal: (Stare)
(Suddenly Christine comes back)
Phantom: Christine, you've returned for me!
Christine: (shuffles her feet awkwardly) Um, not really. Raoul just wanted me to return your ring. He didn't think it was right for me to wear someone else's ring when I was getting married to him.
Phantom: Oh. I see. (Looks as if he's about to cry)
Christine: Well, if it's any comfort, I didn't agree. I would have kept it forever, and put it in a special place, and built a shrine around it...
Phantom: You're not helping!
Christine: Oh, right. Sorry. Well, um, bye.
(She leaves and the Phantom stares at the ring.)
Phantom: WAAAHHHH! CHRISTINE'S GONE AND NOW I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!
(Walks over to the giant chair he has in the middle of the room and sits down with his cloak over him. The lights flash and the mob enters. Meg walks over to the chair and lifts up the cloak, only to find the Phantom's mask, which she holds up to the light in a dramatic way, with huge eyes, staring at the audience.)
THE END!