A/N: We know you're out there, review goddammit!
RAFT Tip of the day: If an acquaintance of yours starts acting unusually around you, do not be fooled! For it could be an evil-doer in disguise, intent on spotting your weakness. Calmly kick him in the shins and do not answer his calls.
Snape's Worst Nightmare
"Girls, may I ask why all of the students in my house are being forced to sit at other tables?" Alex and Charlie looked up from their breakfasts to see the same white haired woman that met them on the shore of the lake. She looked less pleased than last time.
"What students?"
"Oh, I don't know, how about all the Hufflepuff students who normally sit at this table?"
"Oh, them we decided that this is now our headquarters, slash eating area, your so called "students" did not pass the test, they don't get to sit with us."
"You can't kick my students off of their table, and claim it was yours, it was their's first!"
"Manifest Destiny. It's an American thing. They lost we won, our table." She narrowed her eyes at Charlie.
"And I'm a teacher and you're a student, that means you listen to what I say. That's a Hogwarts thing." The two girls stared at Professor Sprout, mildly impressed that she was standing up to them.
"Fine, because you have authority, we will allow your students to sit here." Professor Sprout called her intimidated Hufflepuff's back to their table, none of them sitting anywhere near Alex, Charlie and their posse of first years. They went back to eating, all the Hufflepuff's staring at them warily until Professor Snape strode over to the table, terrifying them further.
"Your schedule." He handed Charlie a piece of paper and walked back over the Slytherin table. Alex frowned and yelled after him.
"Hey, where's mine?" She ran after him and went up to the High Table to Professor Dumbledore.
"Why do they get those and I don't? I want one too!" Dumbledore stared at her in amusement.
"Well Miss de la Vega, since you do not have a Head of House I suppose I can help you. I suppose you would like the same arrangement as Miss Brown?" Alex nodded enthusiastically.
"Then I'll give you the 7th year Slytherins schedule. Here you are." Alex happily skipped away.
"Thank you!" She skipped back to the Hufflepuff table, where Charlie was gathering her things.
"Time to go to the dungeons." Alex looked confused.
"Are we in trouble?"
"I don't know, perhaps they have decided to make us their prisoners, but it says to go to 'potions' in dungeon 4, so maybe they are trying to poison us. Or maybe British people just use funny words for things like the loo." Alex nodded intelligently.
"That could be true. Let's go and find out." They nodded to each other and swept out of the Great Hall, knocking a bench full of Hufflepuffs over on their way out.
!!!!!!!!!!!! Twenty Minutes Later !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Turn right and keep your hand on the wall."
"That's how you get out of mazes, not how you get to dungeons." Alex retorted to Charlie, the girls had set out to find their class, only to realize they had no idea how to find anything in this castle.
"Oh alright Miss Smarty Dungeons Pants how do you get to dungeons?"
"Simple." Alex randomly grabbed a student passing by the scruff of their neck. "Take us to Potions, or else I will cut you from end to end, comprende?" The student squeaked in fear and told the girls to follow him.
"Oh that was better than my idea. Do you think we can get his lunch money?"
"You don't need lunch money at Hogwarts."
"Well then mate, you better go get us some booty, and those fancy robes you're wearing would look mighty nice with me boots." The student squeaked again and gave Charlie his robes, his school books, and his copy of Quidditch World Weekly.
"Oh Alex did you know Victor Krum isn't going to renew his endorsement contract with the Firebolt company?" Alex waved her hand.
"Old news, I overheard this morning he's going for the new Nimbus." The chatted while walking into dungeon 4, coming to a stop when they realized a roomful of students with cauldrons was staring at them.
"Uh, is this dungeon 4?" Professor Snape swept out of the store room, striding toward them.
"Miss Brown, Miss de la Vega, do you mind explaining why you are late?"
"We got lost."
"I see. If the two of you will take a seat, I will get your textbooks." He went back into the storeroom, and the two girls headed to the nearest table with two open seats, which happened to be next to two red-headed twins.
"Hello! Did you know there are two of you?" The two of them looked up from their steaming cauldrons, surprised that Charlie was talking to them.
"There are two of you! And here I thought you just got around quickly." They turned to Alex, who they recognized.
"You're the girl we met last night that was giving out brownies."
"Ah, yes I am Alejandra de la Vega, the swashbuckling, romantic defender of justice! Pleased to make your acquaintance." Alex took her imaginary hat off her head, and bowed deeply to the twins. As she stood up, and with an elaborate had gesture she promptly whacked Snape in the nose.
"Oops."
"Miss De la Vega, sit down." Alex immediately took a seat next to the twins, and started talking to them. Charlie was looking at the three of them talking, well this was boring, no one was talking to her. She began looking through the pile of odd ingredients on the table. As she picked up a particularly gross looking ingredient, she decided she didn't like potions, and threw it over her shoulder, where it proceeded to land in some one else's cauldron, causing the potion the student was working on to explode.
"Miss Brown! Are you aware that you just caused a minor explosion?"
"Are you aware that instead of helping the student that is currently on fire you are yelling at me?" Snape angrily turned to help the flaming student.
"Blimey! That was brilliant, never seen anyone do that! George Weasly, and this here is Fred." The two girls stared at the two of them.
"How do we tell you apart? Or do we just guess every time we see you? I know! I'll make you badges." She put a 'Fred' badge on Fred and a 'George' badge on George in order to tell them apart. They snickered, amused.
"That's the first time anyone thought of that. You two are from America right?" They nodded. "So where did you go to school there?" They looked at them confusedly.
"School? We don't go to school. We're pirates. We sail the skies, stealing from the rich, then keeping the loot for ourselves." They punched each others fists and sat down. The twins grinned at them, leaning over closer.
"Pirates, huh? Haven't met any of those before, have you----" At that moment, Snape swooped back over to their table, after putting out the fire behind them.
"If you don't mind Miss Brown, I would appreciate it if you were more careful in the future." Charlie saluted.
"Righty-o Professor." He turned to Alex.
"And Miss de la Vega? Five points from…" He struggled then, realizing Alex was not sorted into a house. He automatically associated her with Gryffindor because she was sitting in between the Weasley twins, however he now had no way of punishing her. He narrowed his eyes.
"I will find a way of dealing with you later." Alex turned to Fred when Snape walked away, confused.
"But I didn't do anything." Fred shrugged.
"Snape dislikes anyone associated with Gryffindor, it looks like you're hated by association."
"But I'm friends with Charlie."
"Looks like he hates Gryffindor more than he likes Slytherin then." Alex frowned.
"That can't be it. He seems like a sad and lonely person. I know, hug time!" Then, before anyone could stop her, she ran up to the front of the room and leapt on Snape, giving him a bear hug. Everyone in the room looked up in horror, however Professor Snape did nothing, no instead of shoving Alex away and giving her detention, he froze in shock. He did not get hugged often.
Charlie leaned over to the twins, "If the teacher is too stunned to teach, does that mean we don't have class? Oh, Yay! No class for us! Everyone out! Let's go get ice cream! Fred, George where do you get ice cream in England? Oh Alex, the twins are taking us to get ice cream!"
"Really? Cool!" With that Alex detached herself from Snape and followed the twins and Charlie out of the classroom, leaving the rest of the Gryffindors and Slytherins alone with a still frozen Snape. He stayed in that position for a long time, finally the bell rang and class let out. His hand twitched, and he sat down shakily at his desk. He had to keep an eye out for that one…..