I was inspired to write this at school, where sometimes things push us over the edge.
This story was made for a certain someone, who will never see this but inspired the Ron in it. Jerk.
Disclaimer-don't own anything.
One sided Ron/Hermione or maybe more of an anti Ron Hermione (a pairing I hate) and some Cedric/Hermione just because. There's somewhat of a love triangle going on… Set somewhere after the third task.
Hermione's POV
Over the edge
I stood there as I received an unfair detention from Snape for being out in the halls with Harry while class had already started.
"But professor, we have permission." Harry pleaded. We couldn't afford detention today.
"Lies Mr. Potter. Sinners like you deserve to be in detention." I gave an undoable growl.
"Yes professor." He grunted and handed us our slip.
"Get back to your classes. And you to Ms. Granger, I expected better of you both. You should have learned by now." I nodded solemnly getting angry and frustrated and upset all at the same time.
When we were halfway down the hall a tear escaped my eye. It wasn't my fault we had to go get Ron to check on Cedric at the hospital. Our teacher had let us out to go see him, and she knew we had to get Ron first. My parents were going to be so angry and disappointed when they found out I got another detention! I wiped my eyes as we stood by Ron's classroom for him to come out.
When he finally did I was frustrated.
"What took you so long." It was a statement, not a question in which to respond he grumbled.
"I don't really want to go see Diggory anyways. Why should we go along when Harry is the only one who cares?" He sounded careless and for a second I had no idea why I loved him.
"I care." I stated humbly. He grunted in response while Harry kept quiet.
"Well you better care Ron, we have detention because of you." He laughed.
"Wow. Trouble makers. I don't have detention." I rolled my eyes.
"I wish you did. Then I couldn't be angry at you." Of course, that was a lie. I could never be angry at him, not matter how stupid or how much of a jerk he was. I could get upset though, upset at myself for loving him. It would go like it always did-hold in the tears and stress until I was alone then let it all out. I paused in my thinking as I briefly recalled last time I had cried, when Ginny came in and found me. I was heaved over the toilet, crying so hard I was vomiting. And so Ginny, being the best friend she was, did the simplest thing.
Held my hair.
She knew that I hated people paying attention to me crying-she knew it made it worse because then I would feel bad. So she didn't mention it and just smiled and handed me the mouthwash when I was finished empting my stomach.
We walked into the infirmary and there on the white sheeted bed, in all the glory he had left, Cedric Diggory. I got sadder and sadder every time I saw him. He had never done anything to deserve this. Just like I had done nothing to deserve detention. I sighed.
"In this world we are all punished unfairly at times." Harry nodded numbly as I stroked Cedric's face gently. Me and him had grown to a friendship. He was hardly awake during the day but I would creep out here at night to see him and he would be up. Harry knew nothing of these visits but Dumbledore had caught me once. He didn't mind though. He had just mentioned not to get caught by anyone else and smiled.
I wish I could love Cedric. A sweet, caring boy who understands me. Not that I would stand a chance but I know that it would be better than loving Ron. Cedric was nice and I wouldn't hate myself if I loved him. I hate myself for loving Ron but I suppose I can't help it. I hoped that one day I could move on though. I didn't stand a chance of him ever loving me back but it was either that or moving on. Neither sounded logical to me but I would try-just try.
Ron laughed, pulling me out of all thoughts; his laugh was like a melody to my ears even if this one did sound wrong somehow.
"I bet he drops dead in the next week." Harry gasped and I turned to Ron to yell but I couldn't. So I laughed but it was shaky and let him know I was angry. Well, he thought I was angry but I was just really faking.
"Sure Ron." He laughed again and that same tone was there.
"Can we get the bloody hell out of here now? You're wasting my homework time. I got a date with Lavender today and if I don't want to be late I think my work needs done." He paused to look at me. "Or you could do it for me."
I growled and a tear broke free from my eyes, he was pushing it and I didn't think I could hold in the anguish much longer. I was angry from loving him-I wanted to yell at him but nothing came out. I was mad from detention and I was just breaking inside that he had a date with Lavender. It was mostly his words though-the way he sounded like this was a hated chore made my heart clench.
"Leave Ron." Harry's voice was cold but I didn't realize that till Ron's expression. I was numb and could feel nothing but my tug-of-war to keep the tears down, which I was losing.
Ron grunted and made a sarcastic remark I didn't quiet catch before he left.
We stayed a bit longer than went to Snape and Dumbledore to talk about our detention..
"You see, we had permission and she just let us out early. We weren't late or nothing." Harry explained. Dumbledore sighed.
"We have to wait till Snape gets here to discuss this." We nodded.
It must have been five minutes before I couldn't hold my pain anymore. I started crying then bawling. Dumbledore looked at me with surprise.
"Hermione?" Harry squeaked. "Hermione it's just detention." A latched to his shirt and cried until Snape came in. I was still choking on sobs while Harry explained.
"Fine." He grumbled. "But next time leave at the correct time." He nodded.
As soon as I could I ran to the comfort of my bed. I let myself go for hours till Ginny came in which was about eight or nine.
"I was doing some research in the library. Sorry I'm a bit late." I smiled. I loved how she knew not to bug me about the tears streaking down my face.
"No problem." My voice cracked a bit. "I'm gonna go see Cedric early." I stood and stretched; my muscles sore from laying in one position for so long. Ginny nodded.
"Don't get caught." She stated simply. A statement to which I silently agreed to.
When I arrived Cedric was laying there but his eyes were open, the moonlight making them shine. When Cho had given up on him the had been dark and misty. But yet everyday when I come in here at night they would be glistening with hope.
"Hermione." He whispered. "You're early today." I smiled.
"Couldn't wait to see you." He smiled but didn't laugh-no that would hurt to much.
I took a seat next to his bed. I told him about the unfair detention and how it had shook me up. I skipped the crying and Ron's outburst. I couldn't lie to him like everyone else. He had done nothing to deserve lies just as he had done nothing to deserve this. Also, I didn't want him to think of me as an emotion girl who cries at everything. I tried to be strong and it wasn't my fault that control, that barrier broke sometimes.
"You've been crying." He whispered suddenly reaching up slowly to trail his hands across my face. "Did detention really scare you that much?" I couldn't lie to him. He had become my best friend who was probably even above Ginny.
"No." I whispered and it didn't sound like my voice. I explained everything in the unfamiliar voice and by the time I was done I was tearing up a bit again.
It was an uncomfortable silence when he put his hand down after wiping the tears.
"You love Ron." There was sadness in his eyes-the same I had seen when he had found that Cho had forgotten him and his voice was stitched with it to. I nodded watching him silently.
"Oh." He said in the same quiet but gentle voice. "I never thought…I guess it had never occurred to me that you would ever…like him." His voice fell at the end and he was now staring at his hands. I heard him take a deep breath before saying anything again.
"I'm sorry. Are you feeling any better." It wasn't a question nor a statement. It was just concerned placed in his voice of sadness. Simply a sentence.
"I wish I could hate him." I mumbled. "I don't want to love him but I do. It rips me inside and sometimes I don't know if it will ever go away." My voice was soft. I had never talked about Ron with anyone but Ginny but it wasn't like this. I told her that I wished I didn't like him but that was it.
"I wish you didn't love him either." I turned my gaze onto him and my eyes widened with unshed tears. The thought of Cedric liking me had never entered my mind. I had always thought there was no hope either way but at least he was nicer and I wouldn't feel so bad.
"Oh Cedric I-" He cut me off.
"Maybe you should leave Hermione." His voice was crackled at the end and that let me know he was crying.
"Oh Cedric…I wish I could love you. Your caring and sweet and handsome and I wish I could love you. I've always thought that would be easier even if I didn't stand a chance since you're more gentle and nice. But I never thought that you…" I couldn't think of anything to say.
"How can you not see it?" He wasn't holding back that tears in his voice anymore. "How can you not see how much I love you?" I took in the words and they sounded so much similar to something else.
"How does Ron not see how much I love him?" We both sat silent.
It was a while before I broke inside. I started crying and even though he was hurting himself (both physically and emotionally) he pulled me onto his chest and into the bed.
"Don't cry mione. Please don't cry anymore. It's gonna be okay." I choked a sob.
"No its not. Don't lie to me, I know its not. You love me when I don't love you because I love Ron who treats me like dirt and in no way could ever love me and none of us can see the love and none of us can change the pattern." Cedric shushed me but didn't comment and I knew he understood that I was right.
"I wish…we could change it. I want to love you Cedric." He shushed again and rocked me back and forth even though it was probably hurting his wounds.
"It's ok. I know. I understand. I wish you could love me to but I know you can't." I stifled another sob.
"Make me love you then. Maybe it will work if we try…" I let myself lay fully on his chest as he leaned back. Sleep was coming to me and I couldn't stop it. Crying takes a lot out of you.
"Maybe." He whispered. "We can try but I don't think it will work." I grunted in agreement-to tired to make any other noises.
"I'm sorry Cedric." I whispered but it was slurred.
"It's okay Mione." I sunk into the warmth and fell into a deep slumber dreaming of a world where I loved Cedric and he loved me and in which Ron and me could be the friends we used to be even if he was a jerk.
Wow. Didn't intend it to be that long but I just couldn't stop typing.
Review, I'll continue if you want but for now its just a oneshot.