Kings and Queens
By: asteriskjam

A/N: Ok, sorry it took so long for me to update! Hopefully, I'll get better at it in the future. :) Anywho, just wanted to clear stuff up on one thing: school set up. The school's a mess. (Haha) And by that I mean, it doesn't strictly follow the Japanese or American (or Konoha) school systems. The year starts in April (like in Japan) but instead of cubbyholes they have lockers (like in America). There's only three years of senior high school (like in Japan) and the eight are all third-years, but they are not exempt from taking part in school clubs (like in America). They're going to celebrate holidays and breaks (like in Japan) but while in school, a lot of the activities are going to be reminiscent of American school activities (like in, uh, America).

And their school's called the Ninja Institute for no apparent reason except to link back to the original manga. Yeah. Go figure.

Dedicated to: my dear beloved Kakashi-sensei. (Whoever's been keeping up with the manga should know exactly why and should be joining me in my shouts of protest, 'What the FUCK kind of bullshit is that, Kishimoto?!')

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why kakashi is made of total win

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The rivalries had been set.

Each individual's aptitudes had been clarified and it was obvious by now who was to be clashing with whom.

Haruno Sakura was to be facing off with Nara Shikamaru in a battle of smarts.

("Can anyone tell me how to find the value of a^5(a+6) + 5a^3(3a+4) + 3a(5a+2) given that a+1=6th root of 7?"

Sakura's arm shot up first (and after some prodding by Naruto) Shikamaru slowly did the same.

They exchanged looks.

Iruka smiled, calling on Sakura who said matter-of-factly, "You have to expand the expression and see if you can recognize a binomial expansion."

"Correct."

The pink-haired girl grinned victoriously at her rival among the quiet cheers of her best friends. Her smile dropped at the corners when she realized Shikamaru's hand was still raised.

The teacher called on him tentatively, "Yes Shikamaru?"

He answered succinctly, "The answer's six."

Iruka looked pleasantly surprised. "Why, yes. That's right."

"You bastard." Ino seethed at him amongst the joyous 'whoops' of Naruto. "She said how to find the value, not find the value."

"Whatever!" The other blonde shouted across the room, "You're just jealous that Shikamaru can answer the question a lot quicker than Sakura-chan can." He gave the pink-haired girl a quasi-apologetic smile, "No offense, Sakura-chan."

"I do take offense, you idiot! I could've answered that!" She grit her teeth.

"Sure." Sasuke mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Shut it, asshole—")

Hinata was to be challenging her cousin Neji in general likeability.

Ino and Sasuke were to be fighting amongst themselves to see who had the most social influence.

("The school election is coming up! Are there any nominations for presidential and vice presidential candidates?"

Tenten raised her hand, "I nominate Yamanaka Ino for the presidential candidacy and Hyuuga Hinata for the vice president position!"

Sakura smiled, lifting her arm up in turn, "Seconded!"

Kurenai looked pleased, "Ah! The school's first female candidates! How exciting. Anyone else?"

The whiskered teen shot his hand in the air, "Ooh! Wait! Uh, I wanna nominate Neji for the president thing and the bastard for vice president!"

The instructor knitted her brows together.

Shikamaru mumbled a quiet 'troublesome idiot' under his breath before going, "He means he will nominate Hyuuga Neji for the presidential candidacy and Uchiha Sasuke for the vice president position. Which I second."

"Ah! Very good!" She wrote their names on the board. "Ok! Anyone else?"

The room was quiet, the other students not willing to break the almost palpable tension between the Kings and the Queens.

Kurenai coughed, sweatdropping, "Alright then…")

And finally, Tenten was to be going up against Naruto in the sports department.

(The boys and girls sports were obviously separated so the two couldn't clash as often as the others. But that didn't stop them from trying to break each other's records during co-ed gym class.

"…Tenten-chan broke the school's running record!" Hinata said excitedly, as she and her friends watched the girl sprinting on the track.

"Naruto actually managed to break his old high-jump record." Neji grinned, shaking his head. "The idiot isn't human."

Anko and Gai, the gym teachers, looked on impressed.

"Ah! Look at them! Tenten-chan and Naruto-kun are glowing with the effervescence of youth!"

The younger woman nodded, "Those two do show a lot of promise for our athletics department."

They looked over to a group of three girls cheering their hearts out for Tenten and a cluster of three boys glaring down any of Naruto's competitors.

The six turned to one another, exchanging fierce looks before huffing, turning away, and proceeding to root for their friend/intimidate their companion's enemies.

Anko smirked, amused, "And those six seem to have student support down.")

Game on.

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"I. am. SO. TIRED."

"God, and its only the first day."

"It's those boys. Seriously, that bugs in the locker bit? Jerks. How the hell did they get into our lockers anyway?"

"The lazy bastard probably."

"I bet it was the blonde idiot's idea."

"…Ah, at least we managed to reinforce our locks."

"Hinata's right. We should try looking on the bright side. At least we paid them back during lunch!"

"That's right! Where did you get that hose, Pig?"

"Forehead, Forehead. You should know by now that I've got my connections."

"…Gardening club."

"…Right."

"At least it's the last period of the day, homeroom! Finally!"

"Yeah! And those idiot boys are nowhere in sight—"

"…"

"Crap."

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"We're late."

"Like that really matters."

"Yeah! Kakashi-sensei's probably not going to get there till fifteen minutes after the bell rings at the very least."

"True. We really needed to change anyway."

"Those fucking girls. Where the hell do they get off hosing us?"

"We should put more shit in their lockers!"

"…I'll try cracking their troublesome new locks tomorrow."

"Good."

"But hey! Look at the bright side! At least we won't be seeing those witches till tomorrow—"

"…"

"Shit."

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"We're all in the same homeroom?! What kind of CRUEL TRICK is this?" Naruto groaned, loudly.

"Excuse you!" Ino bit back, "We don't appreciate that kind of obnoxiousness here."

"Hah." Sasuke laughed shortly, sarcasm dripping from his tone, "Like you're one to talk."

"Don't call her obnoxious, you asshole!" Sakura screeched, defensively.

"Don't cuss." Neji grumbled, running a hand through his hair, "He was just pointing out the obvious."

"Like calling Naruto's yelling obnoxious, wasn't pointing out the obvious?" Tenten input, glaring.

"…God, you women are so loud. Would you leave us alone?" Shikamaru grit, rubbing his temples as he made his way to a seat across the room.

"…Guys, we…we don't have to take this from them." Hinata said quietly, gathering all her courage and turning in her seat.

"Yeah you do!" Naruto shouted, stepping in front of the dark haired girl.

Sakura, Ino, and Tenten stepped in front of their friend, glowering fiercely at the blonde. "Don't you yell at her!!!"

Neji made his way next to the whiskered teen, "You owe us an apology. You hosed us during lunch today. What the hell was that?"

"Revenge." Sakura shot back, fists tightening. "For those bugs we KNOW you put in our lockers!"

"And how do you know? You have proof?" Sasuke piped from his spot.

"Fine." Tenten replied succinctly, "Say it wasn't you. Then the whole hosing incident was an accident."

"What a load of BULL!" Naruto exclaimed, waving his arms around in an exaggerated manner. "You aimed at us directly—"

"What? You have proof?" Ino fired back, smirking viciously.

Before either side could get out the insults bubbling in their throats, the door suddenly opened, and in walked the infamous Kakashi-sensei.

"Hello. What do we have here?" He gave an amused, enigmatic smile.

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Kakashi Hatake was not teacher-type material.

Period.

He was late almost all the time (he'd even arrive later than the tardiest students on occasion, and no one knew why). He read smut novels during class; whipping the orange book out even when he was supposed to be enhancing his students' young and impressionable minds. And when he did actually attempt to teach on those days he felt like it, his lessons were often times cryptic, intermittently impossible, and always, always in that same uncaring monotone.

When asked why Kakashi was kept on board, Jiraiya would reply with 'he is a smart man who has good taste in literature.' (Which of course, was code for 'If he didn't have this job, he wouldn't be able to purchase any more of my Icha Icha series.')

He had clearly expressed dislike for his students on day one (when Naruto had pulled that juvenile prank on him) so he certainly didn't stay for the children.

And despite what the principle thought, Kakashi, with his looks, his (well-concealed) genius, and his aptitude for stealth, could have probably landed a job, a better job elsewhere.

So why?

Why did he choose to come to Shinobi Academy every morning and spend his days baby-sitting these snot-nosed brats?

For this.

He'd, of course, been informed of the changes to the school. He'd anticipated the name change, the obvious addition of high school girls from the sister school, the dreamy sighs and ecstatic squeals of students who'd spent almost all their lives attending single sex institutions.

But this?

The four boys who had veritable control over the school's going-ons, caught in a power struggle with the four girls from Kuno. Prep. who'd probably held similar seats of influence?

Kakashi smiled secretly underneath his facemask.

One of his (rather inane) hobbies was to people-watch.

It looked like this was actually going to turn out to be one interesting year.

"Welcome girls. I'm Kakashi-sensei and I'll be your Class A-1 homeroom teacher for the rest of the year!"

He cleared his throat, "I'd like to take this opportunity to announce a studying arrangement that I just now thought of."

The slate-haired man grinned at their expressions ranging from the confused/skeptic looks of the new girls to the horrified/glaring countenances of the boys who already knew of his penchant for assigning odd, impractical projects.

"We shall be utilizing the buddy system! Not only will this system help in your education, it will also acclimate the girls to our male environment!"

The pupils whispered amongst themselves worriedly.

"Your buddy will always be there to help you with studying, for projects, for field trips. You will also be sitting beside them for the rest of the year, so make nice!"

Each and every student adopted a look of pure, unadulterated terror.

"I will now be randomly assigning your buddies as I call roll. Please say 'here' when your name is called."

Sakura immediately raised her hand, "Wait, sensei, how is roll-call a random assignment—"

"Hm." He cut in rather rudely, looking over his class list, "…Haruno Sakura is it?"

She nodded tentatively.

"Let's see…you will be paired up with Uchiha Sasuke."

"…WHAT?!"

"What the hell kind of arrangement is that—"

He ignored their simultaneous objections, moving down the list with a smile.

"Hyuuga Hinata will be Uzumaki Naruto's buddy."

"Sensei, that doesn't make any sense--!"

"…Ano…!"

"Yamanaka Ino will be with Nara Shikamaru."

"NO. Kakashi-sensei, NO. You CANNOT make us do this--!"

"…So fucking troublesome…"

"And Tenten will be Hyuuga Neji's partner!"

"But sensei, wait…!"

"How is this a random arrangement—"

The man shook his head, "All of you are awful at following directions…"

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei," another random student bravely piped up when the teacher suddenly stopped short. "…What about the rest of us…?"

The teacher looked over the remaining kids, before grinning, "The rest of you can decide amongst yourselves."

"WHAT--?!"

"SENSEI, THAT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT--!"

"WHY DO THEY GET TO CHOOSE THEIR PARTNERS--!?"

"KAKASHI, YOU BASTARD—!"

"Damn it--!"

"Sensei, this isn't fair--!"

"God you people are so noisy!"

"…Mou!"

Amidst the shouts, Kakashi just kept on grinning, "Come now! The buddy system's effective immediately! Get into a seat beside your buddy!" He suddenly gave them a serious, dangerous look that made it clear his decisions were not to be trifled with, "Now."

As they hurried into their seats, grumbling all the while (especially the eight of them), Kakashi smiled to himself. This was exactly why he'd become a teacher.

Messing in all this high school drama business was SO damn worthwhile.

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A/N: I know some of you can't wait for the LABULABU to start, but please! Hold your horses. I need to get all this rivalry and hatred and immature pranking over with first before the LABULABU can foster. Be patient. :)

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS. You guys totally keep me going. (If you guys want me to update even FASTER -wink, wink-, follow Neon Genesis and the blanket's example and write me huge ass reviews! Hahaha. Kidding. Any will do. Really. :))