AN: Alrighty. Anybody here still reading this?
Ehehehe. Ehm, yeah. So this little piece of writing has actually just been lying around for the last three months or so, but I just never got around to fill in the blanks and proofread it before now. I'm hoping for getting away with a "better late than never", and I seriously hope those reading it will still read it.
I've divided this up in two chapters (and hence the promised lemonade will be postponed a little), so rest assured that the next chapter will be up at Friday, latest.
Too close.
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In the outer lands, Filia thanked the neighbour. It had been tough to find somebody who she'd trust with Val for so many days. Initially she was planning on arriving just in the nick of time, to avoid seeing Amelia sad and unhappy, as she was sure she would be underneath her cheery facade. But hearing how the damn Namagomi was plotting, she couldn't just stay and wait for his scheme to come together.
When she walked the cold, moonlit streets back to her shop, she heard a voice, she'd terribly wished for not to hear tonight.
"My, Filia-san. Aren't we out late?" he said, in his usual honeysweet tone.
She didn't turn, just kept on walking. He'd have to try better than that, and she was not in any doubt that he would.
"So, I take it that the irresponsible dragon has finally realised she's not fit to be a mother?" he said, knowing well that it was a low blow.
When she swirled around to look at him, and he realised that her look was more confused than angry, he explained.
"I saw you handing over Val." He remarked, nonchalantly.
She turned and continued towards her shop. He wouldn't get her pissed or led off track so easily. After all, she had a mission. But even if she should fail, she had a backup. She almost smiled at the thought of her precaution. So simple the damn Mazoku would never suspect it!
He phased out and reappeared right in front of her. Too close, she noticed on her own heartbeat. She stopped dead in her tracks, not sure if she could sidestep him, or if she'd have to walk in an arch around him to get out of this situation.
"So what's the rush, Goldie?" his voice was lower than usual, a little darker and a lot more terrifying.
She felt she couldn't move. To handle her fear better, she raised her head, looked him in the eyes and shot her chin forward in a determined gesture.
"I'm going to go home, pack, and go and save Amelia and Sailrune from your schemes!" she stated. She figured he was here to stop her anyways. There was no point in tiptoeing around it. She could only hope he'd find it funny. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he'd switched sides just because the current events looked more entertaining.
The trickster stood, a finger prodding his chin as he tilted his head to the side. His thinking-pose. Then he looked at her again, with the same expression.
"Hmm.. No. No, I don't think so, Filia-san." He said, matter-of-factly.
She took an unconscious step backwards. She looked at him with scepticism and slight disbelief.
"You think you can just order me not to, or you think you can stop me, Xellos?" she asked, reaching for Mace-sama.
As she swung it, he grabbed her wrist, wrung the mace out of her hand, and twirled her around, so that she was caught flush against him with her back towards his chest, his hand still on her arm, catching her in an almost tender embrace.
"Both." He answered in a low voice, that came out just above her ear. She shivered. She hated herself for noticing that it was actually somewhat nice having him this close, his arms wrapped around her.
"I won't let you stop me." She stated, but her voice was thin and her breath ragged.
"And I won't let you go." He answered, his voice but a whisper.
"You don't own me, Namagomi." She said. She'd meant to say it strong, determined and preferably a little angry and snarling. But it came out almost endearing.
"Wrong again, Filia-san. From now on, I do." He said, and just to prove that fact, he transported the both of them off the street.
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Amelia woke slowly, her eyes somewhat reluctant to adjust to the morning sunlight spilling in from the window. She looked to the side and saw Zel sit there, stoically, now watching her as she'd begun to stir. She smiled.
Although the bathroom had been trashed by the flare bits, and although it had been really awkward explain just how Zel had saved her to her father, everything had turned out well in the end. Even the bathroom had been taken care of, seeing how some of the palace mages could do a time-reversal spell on the room. And there'd been no sign of any Mazoku the rest of the night.
Of course, Zel had stayed constantly alert, to make sure that nobody unexpectedly phased in and killed the princess. She wondered if he wasn't the least bit tired. But it didn't seem like it. At least he didn't show it.
It was nice waking up like this, she decided. It made her feel safe and at home. Especially when he looked at her and smiled softly, like he did now. He really looked gorgeous when he smiled like that, she mused. It was too bad he couldn't see it. Then again, she understood what bothered him.
Despite the popular belief that Amelia only saw his appearance as a plus, she could in fact also see the downsides. For instance the fact that his skin had a stonish feel to it, even though it was magically stretchable like normal skin, making it durable, but also unintentionally making people hurt themselves if they hit him (for any reason). His tactile sense seemed to be normal, as was obvious through his nimble interaction with, oh let's say, the lock on a certain safe, for instance. However, his sense of pain was dulled (which she could rightfully only see as a plus), as were probably his sense of warmth and cold. Of course this served as a matter of alienation from other humans more than a real, physical hindrance, but it apparently made him feel like he might unintentionally hurt people by, for instance, hugging them.
His wire-hair, on the other hand, she could understand why he disliked. It was usually soft enough, as soft as wire could be, but if he got irritated or agitated, it would become more rigid, with the threat of people stinging themselves on it (and of course the threat of being stuck in a table).
She could see the downsides, but they were mainly just secondary problems to the real issue; his fear of people, or rather hurting people. It was all interconnected, and she silently wished she had all the time in the world to invest into trying to make him realise this. Unfortunately she hadn't
He noticed the change on her face and looked a tad worried. She gave him a fake smile, which he most probably saw through, but accepted anyways. She then got out of bed.
As they met for breakfast, they realised that Orin was there. He reluctantly thanked Zelgadis for saving Amelia, and other than that said very little. It reminded Zel once again why Orin was chosen as her husband. He was nice, and probably would make a good ruler. But that still didn't assure Zel. Then again, he had to remind himself that it might just all be because he was somewhat envious. Not really jealous, right? I mean it wasn't like he'd like a relationship with her. Right?
Orin followed them to the office, much to Zel's displeasure, and kept an eye on them as she worked and he guarded her. Not much fun and teasing today, but there were still some moments where she asked for his help.
He also noticed the fact that she asked him, not Orin, even though Orin might have had some actual education in this area. He really enjoyed that, and he just couldn't figure out why.
After hours of being intentionally or unintentionally ignored, Orin left, and the last hour of work was immensely more fun. Zel tried not to point it out, because she probably already knew that she didn't have much fun with her future husband. There was just nothing there could be done about that, so he figured it was best not to point it out.
Lunch came and with it the watch-change. Amelia managed to get a word with Lina in private, well, as private as it could be with Gourry watching over the both of them.
"-And I know he apologised, but really, he HAD gone and accused Zel of unprofessionalism, and really, NOBODY's more serious with what they do than Zel!" Lina went on. Amelia only nodded. There was not really anything she could say to that. "I mean, I know he's just jealous, but really! This is just plain stupid. I mean, it's not like you're gonna run off with Zel, now is it?"
Amelia noticed how it was actually asked like a real question and not just like a rhetorical one.
"Of course not." Amelia answered, perhaps a little too fast and a little too unfeeling. She then knew she had to add something to that. "It's not even like Zelgadis would want to drag me around."
"I'm not too sure of that." Lina said, seriously. Even though Gourry was pretending not to hear any of it he still nodded at the comment. "He does care about you, y'know."
"But not as anything else than a friend." Amelia said. "Besides, I'm over him."
"Really?" Lina asked with both eyebrows raised, but not really looking surprised, rather sceptic.
Amelia adverted her gaze, and looked at anything non-Inverse in the room. This was a matter she'd really rather not resolve, and least of all now when it was painfully obvious that nothing could be done about it.
"Amelia, think this over while you still can." Lina said, and Amelia feared she might go into details with it. If it was left hanging there she could just pretend that the redhead was talking about something trivial and non-important. Not something that would have consequences lasting for the rest of her life.
To her relief a messenger came in with a vase full of white roses, which effectively stalled the conversation. Amelia felt her heart both fill with kindness and pummel to the ground. She gathered that they were from Orin, and it was his way of expressing how he truly was sorry for his hostility towards Zelgadis, but she was a little unnerved by the fact that she felt nothing else but friendly kindness towards him for the gesture. Like she would thank a friend for being considerate to her.
As she reached out towards the roses, she noticed something was off. Surely Orin always gave her these kind of roses, but he always took care to remove the thorns from them first. These had thorns. Lina noticed her hesitation.
"These are not from Orin." Amelia stated flatly. Lina reached out to grab the card that followed, but Gourry caught her hand. Upon closer inspection it turned out that the thorns had been drenched in poison. But by the time they got around to search for the messenger, he was long gone.
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At dinner nobody felt like telling either Orin or Zelgadis about the poisoned roses. They were too afraid that they might upset either of them, seeing how they both were equally protective of the little princess. Equally protective, perhaps, but in two very different ways.
As they left the table Lina started wondering about that. She particularly considered if Orin even would be any good for Amelia or the kingdom. He would shield her away from everything, in fear that it might harm her. All the way down to the thorns on the roses. But there was just no way that one could shield away a person from reality. Reality hurt, and if it didn't then it wasn't a lasting situation, or not real. She felt the same went with his devotion to the princess.
It, like the roses, was too without thorns. He loved her not only unconditionally, but also seemingly without effort, like it was a conscious decision rather than an actual feeling, like he could love her without her even being there. It was her as an object rather than a person he seemed to adore. He never seemed to take her up on any arguments, actively avoiding conflicts or even the slightest disagreement, and glassing it over with thornless, white roses and sweet words. It had annoyed Amelia in the beginning, she knew, but now she claimed that it wasn't a problem. Most likely, the princess had given up on getting any challenge from him, Lina gathered.
Zel, however, was giving her a lot of challenge, especially right now, the sorceress mused with a slight smile. He could apparently feel that something was being kept from him, and he kept going at her, trying to probe it out of her. She was quite in a corner now.
"But if I tell you, you'll only get upset or mad at me for not telling you."
"So very unlike now where I'm just slightly concerned and a little tad angry?" he asked, in a sarcastic voice. "Just tell me what happened, Amelia. I can't very well protect you if you're not honest with me, dammit!"
Gourry started laughing, indicating that he too knew what she wasn't telling. Zel's glare immediately turned to the swordsman, and then to the sorceress at his side.
"You both know." He said, his eyes narrowing. "What happened? Was it the Mazoku?"
"It was nothing, really. We had it all under control, Zel." Lina sighed. "And we didn't tell you because we knew you'd fuss about it like you're doing right now!"
"I'm not fussing." He almost snapped, turning towards Lina.
"You are too fussing, Zelly!" Lina returned in a teasing voice.
"Lina-san, I don't think that-" Amelia tried, but was overheard.
"I can understand that." Said Gourry, with a soft smile, causing them all to look at him. "If something happened to Lina and nobody would tell me about it, I'd be pretty angry too, even if she did come out of it without a single scratch."
The chimera ran a hand through his hair. He was just about to thank Gourry for his input, but then realised that their two situations were totally different. It wasn't like he cared for Amelia the same way Gourry cared for Lina. He didn't have any right to be this... concerned. With a slightly annoyed scoff, he dismissed the subject, refusing to continue their conversation.
Around eight Amelia and Zel left the two, and went to the baths. The atmosphere between them was a little strained, and the place set of a whole set of awkward associations. Not only had their last visit to the baths involved the total trashing of the entire bathroom, but also some pretty personal talking. And of course there was the entire him shielding her naked form under the attack thing. Neither of them felt like commenting on it.
Zelgadis went and sat at the chair, as Amelia locked the door. Without a word she started to undo the dress. Zel closed his eyes, and decided that today he'd do a better job of not engaging in deep, personal discussion with her. Especially while she was naked.
Amelia jumped into the pool and everything proceeded as it should, in silence.
Of course, after a while, they both felt the need to break the silence. Zel, guessing that her choice of subject would be a lot more personal than his, took the first step.
"So, why the bath every night?" he asked, genuinely curious. "It's not that I don't understand the habit, but you've gone days when we were on adventures without it."
She seemed to think it over, and turned in the water to look at him.
"Well... It's nice for one." She said. "A good hot soak can really ease the tense muscles. But there is of course some kind of cleansing ritual to it too.. Need to be clean in body, soul and mind for the wedding, you know.."
Noticing the somewhat sad tone, Zel thought really hard to find a new and less depressing subject. He should have thought faster. Nothing could have prepared him for what she asked him next.
"Why didn't we become a couple?" She asked, right out of the blue.
Apart from feeling the wind knocked out of him by the question, Zel was a little taken aback by her tone. The question was way too personal to be asked in such a casual way. Well, it only proved to him further that their potential love had died, and now she simply wanted to find out what it died from.
"Amelia, you know that." He said, hoping to end the conversation before it even started. He fought his body into keeping itself calm, but there was no denying that if he could have made a run for it, he would have. However, he'd have to run to the door with his eyes closed, and unlock it under similar conditions. He wasn't even sure where Amelia had put the key after locking it. And then of course, he'd leave her unprotected if he ran. He cursed his situation. There was simply no easy escape from this, and he always found himself particularly vulnerable when there weren't an easy way out.
"Actually, I don't." She said, her voice a little more stubborn than it used to be.
Zel clenched his fist. If he hadn't had this much self-control, he would have banged it against the windowsill and told her to stop asking such personal, painful and non-important questions. He settled for just cursing under his breath.
Okay, he thought to himself. So on what grounds did he dismiss the idea? Like with the "why did you like Miwan"-question the other day, it wasn't really anything he'd thought much about. So he ended up saying the first thing that sprung into his mind.
"I'm a monster, Amelia." He started out, and if he'd had his eyes open, he would've seen her rolling hers. "And I don't think I ever considered it. I just dismissed the whole idea of becoming romantically involved with anybody automatically. I wouldn't put anybody through that. I'm not that cruel."
She huffed.
"But then we're back to Miwan again."
He unclenched his hand in favour of smacking it against his face and dragging it downwards. Oh this was really not going well. What happened to his good plan about not starting any deep and personal conversations with her? He sighed, and tried to figure out, again, why the heck he'd fallen for the "princess" of Femille.
"Miwan was so... weak on her own. I think I felt that I could actually do more good than harm by being there for her." He said, not really liking the honesty, but unable to stop it regardless. "Unlike with you who were doing fine on your own.. Most of the times." He smirked in her general direction, and didn't feel like bringing up some of the situations she hadn't handled that gloriously herself.
"I bet you just didn't find me as attractive!" she huffed, her tone almost childish.
For a second he considered replying "yeah, it could be that." and have the conversation over and done with. But that would be lying and unnecessary cruel. However seeing the pinch she had him in, he was inclined to feel that a little returned cruelty might be in order.
"Amelia, I'm not very fit for a relationship, neither physically or emotionally. I didn't want to burden you or anybody else with that." He said.
"Come on, I'm a big girl. You can tell me you just weren't interested." She insisted. "It's quite okay not to be. Just because I was..."
"But that's just the thing, Amelia. I don't even know if I was." He ran a hand through his wirery hair. "I just never thought about it. I kept myself from thinking about it. Besides, you were only a child at the time. It would've been unfair to hold you up on a child's infatuation, don't you think?"
"I don't think I would have minded." She said, her voice pensive.
"Amelia. At some point you'd grow up, and your feelings with you." he said, his voice cold. "It's not like your feelings have remained the same, now is it?"
She bit her lower lip, not sure if she would laugh or cry with the emotion welling up inside of her. No, he was spot on. Her feelings had changed, but surely not in the direction he thought. She really didn't want to pinpoint what exactly had changed, or what it meant, because she'd decided she was over him. If it wasn't a decision she could follow through with her heart, then the least thing she could do was to stick to it with her mind.
"You're right. My feelings for you would have changed. They did change." She said, her voice low.
"Right." He continued. "And then what would have happened? You would probably have ended up leaving me, anyways."
She turned in the water to look at him, her eyes wide with realisation.
"Is that what you were afraid of, Zelgadis?" she asked, baffled. "To be left? To be abandoned?"
Zel resisted the urge to open his eyes with the sole purpose of glaring at her. It wasn't like that. She made it sound like he'd refused a relationship to protect himself from harm instead of protecting her from it. It wasn't like that. At all! But knowing that he'd backed himself into a corner, he settled for just skipping that part of the conversation. He probably couldn't explain himself out of that statement anyways.
"And more importantly, it wouldn't have lasted. I'm not exactly prince-material." He said, his voice sardonic. "Your father wouldn't have approved." He honestly hoped that this would be the final argument.
But, just as he feared, she also had a retort on that one.
"Actually daddy was pretty fond of the idea. "A strong ally of justice!", and all that, you know." She said, smiling victoriously at him, although he couldn't see it. "Besides, father married a commoner, and nobody ever really complained about that. I'm sure Sailrune would have been thrilled. You've saved the world with Lina-san and Gourry-san and I. And you are after all a descendant of Rezo the Red Priest." Just as the words had left her mouth she could feel the temperature dropping, and instantly wished she hadn't. She looked at Zelgadis, who'd now slouched into an almost brooding pose.
"Don't remind me." He mumbled. Then his head snapped up, turning towards her. "And don't say it like it's something to be proud of, either!"
His hissing tone made her grow a little stubborn. She'd always been told how great a sage the Red Priest had been, and how many people he'd helped. For some reason she felt like she had to defend the man, and this would be a perfect time to get another stone off her chest.
"Well, we only knew him as somebody helping and healing the weak! He was a great man before his cure blinded him!" she initially didn't notice the ironic pun herself, but when Zelgadis huffed a sarcastic laugh, she rephrased. "I mean, it's not like he was an evil man. He just wanted to be able to see, just like everybody else. And in time Shabranigdo got a hold of him, so... You might not see being related to him as a good thing, Zelgadis, but other people do! As long as you don't repeat his mistake and follow down the path of evil in obsessive search of a non-existing cure, of course, I'm sure the people of Sailrune would have been delighted to have you as a prince consort."
Her sarcastic tone wasn't wasted on him. He opened his mouth to return her some sly comment, but found that he had nothing to say, really. Amelia, seeing this and still feeling the chill in the atmosphere, changed the subject.
"Besides, you've shown quite a talent for the paperwork." She teased. Or at least tried to. But even though her tone was carrying a teasing edge, it was also filled with remorse for what never was and never could be.
"As you said before, you can do that yourself." He simply stated, not really sure what to do with this conversation. In truth he had no idea she'd thought so much about it. He convinced himself that she'd done so in hindsight, and that he hadn't walked unknowingly out of something so appealing and well thought out three years ago.
"You're right. I can." She turned in the water again, leaning against the edge, now with her back turned towards him. She didn't say she was resourceful and strong enough to manage on her own. She didn't say that she didn't need him. But somehow her unspoken words filled the room regardless.
A silence stretched painfully between them, and all they could hear was the soft sound of the water, and their breathing.
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In the library Lina was again trying to balance a cup of cocoa on her stomach. Gourry was eating some peanuts that had been brought up to them. All in all they were having a nice and quiet evening, but behind Lina's serene expression, a storm was brewing. A very dangerous storm. A very malicious storm.
"What do you think they're talking about?" she asked.
Gourry looked at her, a confused expression slowly replaced by a smile when he realised who she was talking about.
"You're really worried about them, huh?" he said, his smile turning almost sly. "I'm sure they'll figure it out themselves."
"I'm sure they will.. But not in time!" Lina's eyes narrowed at the cocoa, like it was a dark lord needing to be stared down.
Gourry shook his head.
"If we meddle won't we just risk makin' it worse?"
"How can we make it worse, Gourry?!" she hissed. "Amelia is getting married to somebody else! Come on!" She put the cup down and tried to get up, but it was getting increasingly difficult. She started hissing and cursing as she fell back into the couch, and Gourry politely took the hint, got up and helped her out of the couch.
"I swear this blasted thing becomes lower for each time I sit in it!" she hissed, giving it a death-glare for good measures.
"Could be because you're so heavy." Gourry said, obviously without thinking, and Lina re-directed her death glare to him. When he looked at her his eyes widened, and he started frantically waving his hands in front of him. "No! Sorry, Lina! It wasn't meant like- OW!"
They went to the hallway, Lina still rubbing her hand, and listened. Lina knew that Zel wouldn't be able to hear their footsteps and recognize them if they just stayed at this end of the hallway leading down to the baths.
"I think they need a little startle." She said, voice low, shoulders raised and hands rubbing with glee. She conjured a light-spell between her hands. She then weighted the shining orb in her hand, and wondered if she should make Gourry throw it. But seeing how the hallway slightly slanted down towards the end door, she figured she could do it.
One good thing about light-spells was that when probably cast, they would be sphere-shaped, solid and slightly bouncy, making it possible to cast them into a dark room or a pit, should you need to see what was there. Another good thing was that it looked and sounded a lot like a fireball. Especially if it came at you fast enough, and if you were somewhat distracted. Sure, Zel would figure it out any other day, but right now he'd only a chance to make an impression based on audio-input, and he'd have to make the judgement fast. Most probably he wouldn't be able to hear it before two or three seconds before it would hit the door, and hopefully that'd be enough to send him into panic.
She leaned back, drawing her right hand with the orb behind her, and hurled it towards the door like it was a fireball.
Just before the orb hit the door, they heard a yell and something splash. The light-spell bounced off the door, and dissolved harmlessly. Lina almost burst out laughing, but restrained herself, knowing only too well that it would give her away as the culprit. She dragged Gourry back to the library and made him swear never to tell what they'd just done.
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One problem with reacting on instinct is that you tend to forget important issues. Such as where the edge of the pool was, for instance. And hence, Zel quickly found himself running out of floor and as a result falling into the pool. The shock made him also forget why the heck he had his eyes closed, and he wasn't reminded until later. He fought to get out of the pool, but by the time he reached the door, he realised that this wasn't an attack, and when he opened the door it was only with the intention of glaring and shouting at the either red-haired prankster or purple-haired trickster that was behind this.
Amelia on the other hand tried to calmly assess the situation, without bursting out laughing, dying of embarrassment, or both combined. Zel was in the pool, his eyes were open with a rather shocked and panicked expression and he was fighting to get out of the pool, very fast. Whatever had hit the door had startled him enough to launch forward, but unfortunately he'd misjudged where the edge of the pool were, and had run right into it, in the opposite side from where she was sitting. She looked from the drenched chimera to the door, but nothing seemed to burst it in. He sullenly and grumpily got up, walked over, unlocked and opened it, all the while cursing somebody. Amelia had an idea who, but wasn't sure. At the very least it hadn't been a real attack.
He looked out, with a glare, but obviously the culprit was long gone. He then turned to look at her. Under normal circumstances it would have been a natural reaction; to see if she was okay, and to tell her that they'd been conned. But this was a slightly different situation. And although she covered herself with her hands, he obviously saw enough to make his cheeks go oddly purple. He quickly both looked away and closed his eyes, and just for good measures put a hand over them too.
A hastened apology followed, and he urged her to get out of the bath and put some clothes on. She got up, dried herself quickly and put on her bluish kimono-bathrobe. She then looked at him, and this time couldn't help laughing. He looked so stern and serious, but that was totally ruined by his wet clothes and soaked hair.
"All dressed." She said, between laughs.
He cracked an eye open, glaring at her, but the frown was quickly replaced with a slight smile. He had to give her that it was a pretty silly situation. She picked up the corner of his cape, holding it up, so that the water cascaded down from it.
"I hope you have a spare set." She said with a smile, giggling.
He nodded.
"In my room. Mind if we swing by that before you go to bed?" he asked, his tone a little ironic.
She faked a pensive look, cocking her head to a side, and probing her cheek with a finger.
"Hmm... Oh, alright then." She said finally, which earned her a nudge in the side for being cheeky.
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Amelia had obviously been to that room before. But it somehow felt a little different being here where it was filled with his stuff. And him too of course. Alone. With him. In his room. With her in her bathrobe and nothing underneath it, and him loosening his buckle to get the belt off. She felt her cheeks begin to burn with the implications that might normally be in a situation like this. She hadn't thought about it. At all. It all just seemed so natural. He was her friend. His clothes needed changing so they'd just gone to his room to change them. Why wouldn't that make a perfectly innocent picture?
She had to force down the little inner voice telling her that it wasn't that innocent because of her thoughts about him. It wasn't like she wanted to stand there, staring mesmerized at the way the beige tunic clung to his nicely shaped torso. And it wasn't like she enjoyed the way her heart jumped all over the place as he began to drag it over his head. Another stray thought remarked that it was somewhat like unwrapping a present in front of some from the court, it had to be done painfully slow so that you didn't appear like a greedy little girl, but you just wanted so badly to know what was inside, and could hardly wait to get the wrapping off the damn thing. This thought, too, was hammered to the ground as soon as she'd thought it.
It wasn't fair of her to think of her friend like that. It's not like he'd ever done anything to make her think it. Or maybe he had. She wasn't quite sure. At times she could've sworn he was interested. But then again, she might have been able to read him like an open book, but the chapter about her was still not available for her viewing pleasure.
Without realising it, she sighed. He turned and looked at her, only now realising that she'd been watching him undress. He'd only gotten his cloak and tunic off, so she didn't feel too guilty for looking. She looked at him with an apologetic smile, which swiftly turned from a little shy to a little sly when she saw his almost amused and offended look.
"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, and tried to sound as calm and uncaring as possible. Unfortunately there was still a slight nervous tremble in the voice ruining it.
"Shouldn't you rather be looking somewhere else?" he asked, a stony eyebrow cocked.
"Why?" she asked, flatly, and gathered a breath along with some courage. "I rather like the view, you know."
His eyes widened a little, and he looked rather shocked at her statement. Then it seemed like he recognised the teasing tone of voice, and decided that two could play this game... again.
"Well, Princess.." he started, and wrung some of the water out of his discarded tunic. "I'm not quite sure if I should feel used or flattered." He looked her in the eyes, his amusement visibly shining through.
She gave him a challenging smile and a slightly flirty gaze to go with it.
"What you feel is not up to me to decide." She said, moving closer, a little too much sway in her hips for the action to be unconscious. Her mind made an ironic and sad note that if it had been up to her to decide, their situation would have been much different. "But I can ignore it if it doesn't suit me." She continued. Her mind again felt like making a snide little note, sounding something like -just like you did to me.
"Ignoring peoples' feelings?!" he said, his voice full of mock disbelief, as he turned to fully face her. He battled his arms to stay down and not make any gesture that might invite her in for a hug. He wasn't quite sure how he'd react if he came in too close contact with her right now. "How very unjust! Certainly not fitting behaviour for a Hero of Justice."
She grinned, a grin that unfortunately looked too much like a cat on a prowl. He wondered if she knew that herself. He guessed not.
"I don't care."
She was standing much too close, but he just couldn't find the flinch/flee-instinct anywhere inside himself anymore. It was like it'd been put somewhere either out of his reach, or he'd just plain forgotten where it was, and it didn't at all seem important to find it.
"Certainly not fitting behaviour for a Princess of Sailrune!" he continued, and did his best to sound a little preaching and outraged, like one from the court might.
"I don't care." She answered, her voice a little more breathy now, as she took another step closer, and still held his gaze with a challenging and determined one of her own.
"Certainly not fitting behaviour towards your bodyguard. And it's not even a proper way to treat a friend." He said. He'd just tried to sound stern and lecturing for the shear joke of it, and hence it came as surprise when the princess withdrew from him, head bowed down and looking guiltily at the floor, out of the corner of her eyes.
"You're right. I'm sorry." She sighed.
He grabbed her wrist as she went away from him.
"Hey.." he said softly. "If it really bothered me I would say so straight away. You know that." He gave her a slight smile and grabbed for the dry tunic. "Besides, we're closer friends than to be bothered by a little thing like this. We've been in situations far more embarrassing."
His soft chuckle made her snap out of her gloom and look at him with a soft and endearing smile. He was right, way too many times they'd been in situations worse than this. Well, perhaps not romantically worse, but really this was only romantically awkward and not just plain ol' ordinary awkward if you were romantically interested in the other person, like she was. She figured he was right. At least from his perspective.
"I guess you're right." She said, and stepped back towards him, not making any hasty moves that might lead him to let go of her wrist. She liked the trivial contact. A more logic part of her remarked that he was doing marvellous progress on his fear of physical contact. Her more romantic part told it to shut the hell up, and that it really wasn't relevant at the time. The only thing that mattered was that he was almost holding her hand, and on his own initiative, too! The hand he wasn't holding searched for something to hold on to, to keep herself from swaying. When it landed on the back of a chair, she realised that he'd draped a towel over it. She grabbed it, and slowly, while intently watching his face, brought it to his chest, very carefully drying him off. She didn't have to listen for his breath to know that he was holding it, his chest gave it away under her gentle touch.
What the heck are you doing? her mind screamed at her. He'd let her off for staring at him, and now she just had to go and try her luck on crossing another border. She was certain he'd snap back to reality very soon, and that she'd have permanently damaged their relationship. Eventually he started breathing again, a little strained but not saying anything. She kept on drying him off very slowly, as if any sudden movements would make him realise that she was in fact indirectly touching him.
"What are you doing?" she heard him say. Or rather, she made out the words from the air that escaped his mouth, with very little actual voice attached to it.
She felt like just dropping the towel and run, or pretend that it'd just been an accident, but knew she couldn't just pass it off like that.
"Drying you off." She offered.
A moment of silence passed, while she moved from working on his left arm to working on his right. She noticed that the hand around her wrist had slid down, so that it now effectively WAS holding her hand.
"Why?" his voice rasped.
"It was my fault you fell into the pool in the first place." She tried, not really sure anybody would buy it. Certainly he wouldn't. "It's the least I can do to repay you."
He took a shaky breath, and caught her eyes in a death-lock.
"You don't have to." He said. His voice wasn't unkind. In fact it was softer than she would have imagined in a situation like that. Like he was offering her not to do it, but not in any way asking her to stop. She herself drew a ragged breath.
"But I want to..." she said. "It's a very simple way of showing my appreciation."
He wouldn't buy that one either, but she prayed that he'd play along like he had thus far.
"It's a very close way." He commented, as if he was trying to make her realise what she was doing. She knew. Or rather, she hadn't the faintest idea of what she was doing, but she knew what it meant. She knew what she wanted it to mean.
"We're very close friends." She returned. "...Aren't we.. Zelgadis?"
The hand of his that wasn't holding hers slowly moved up to rest on the small of her back, the sheer weight of it slowly drawing her in, as if to hug her. He looked intently at her eyes, and she didn't really know what to make of it. A lot of emotions seemed to flitter across those eyes, most of which she couldn't identify. One stayed, though, that she knew what was. It was doubt.
"This is very close. Even for very close friends, Amelia." He said, his voice as stern as he could muster. Again it seemed like he was trying to make her realise what she was doing. She wondered if he really thought she'd be so naïve or unaware of her own actions. Knowing him, he just might.
"I don't care." She whispered, taking a step closer, and dropped the towel so that her hand came to rest directly on his chest. He flinched a little at the contact but the moment didn't break. It was fun to pretend, if only for a little while, that she was in a position where it was tolerable not to care. A carefree existence.
It was nice standing there, if only for a very short while. They were so absorbed in the moment that neither of them heard the two male voices outside the door before it opened.
"Are you certain they'd be in here, Xellos-san?" Orin asked, just as he opened the door.
Needless to say, hell broke loose after that.
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The door was hardly closed behind him before Zel twirled around to look at the Prince of Sailrune.
"With all honesty, Prince Phil, it is neither my wish nor my intention to start anything with your daughter." He stated, his voice a little strained. Why the heck didn't anybody seem to believe him? All they had to do was to look at him and at the same time give him credit for being an at least somewhat decent guy. Nobody with this body would EVER initiate something with somebody they cared for.
"I believe your intentions, my boy." Phil said, and sighed, his voice and face resigning as he sat down. "But that doesn't change the fact that Orin does not. He doesn't know you that well, and he cannot know the righteous heart that beats in your chest, filled with love and justice!"
Zel felt himself looking for an escape. Sadly, there was none, and Phil was standing between him and the door. No way to run from the justice-speeches, he reckoned, so he might as well show himself off as a fighter, and hope that at least Phil would respect him for that.
"Don't take me off the guard-duty. I will trust the task to no other than myself or Gourry." He heard himself say.
"We have many other capable-" Phil started, but was cut off by the look in the chimera's eyes.
"I will keep Amelia safe until the wedding, Prince." He said in a voice so very unlike his own. More determined. Perhaps even more devoted. "And I would prefer if I did so with your consent."
Phil looked at the chimera with an oddly resigning expression.
"You have my consent, my boy." He said. "But I fear that if you do so, there will be no wedding."
The chimera flung up his arms in frustration.
"For the last time, I wasn't-"
"I know." Phil interrupted. "I know, and it is so very un-just to accuse you with no basis, but the situation... I know your intentions, but-"
"-Orin doesn't." Zel finished. "How obvious does it have to be for him to realise that there isn't anything between us?! I am not leaving her unprotected just because of his suspicions!"
"You have to try and understand him, Zelgadis-san." Phil's voice rumbled, an explaining and overbearing tone in it. "My daughter's beautiful heart, beating with love and justice has been given to you, after all."
"It was nothing but a child's infatuation, and with all respect, Prince Phil, I think it is safe to say that she doesn't feel the same anymore." Zel said, looking sternly at the prince. The prince in turn looked almost put off. He then went to his desk, sat down behind it, folded his hands in front of his mighty beard, and looked at Zel intently over the edge of them.
"You're right, my lad." He said, his voice unusual calm and business like. "She doesn't. And I fear that one of these days you might come to understand exactly what that means."
Zel was a little taken aback by the look he got and the comment. He felt slightly insulted. Sure he knew what it was that meant. It meant she wasn't interested in him anymore, and that his chance of having some sort of happy, normal (or as normal as it could be) life with Amelia by his side was ruined. He'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Sure it still hurt, but that was the sacrifice he'd made, for the both of them. She'd be better off without him, and he'd be free to search for his cure. He hadn't made that decision without knowing that he'd lose her "love". Sure, it stung like hell, they could never go back to their carefree life of adventuring together, but that was just life's way of smacking him in the face for being a selfish idiot. He. Knew. That! He was just about to tell the prince all this when the mighty bear beat him to it.
"Right. You stay on the guard duty." Phil huffed, straightening himself in the chair. "Send in Orin after you. I'll... try to sort it out with him."
As Zel exited the room, he took in the scene before him. He'd managed to mess things up pretty good this time. Amelia was fidgeting nervously, getting a comforting hug from Lina, and Gourry stood looking out for any attacks from either side of the hallway. Orin stood a good 8 feet from them, a frown marring his features, glaring first at the other three, but as Zel came out, his glare turned to him. He figured it was where it belonged.
Even though this was all nothing but a huge misunderstanding (courtesy one malicious Mazoku), he should have stopped it from getting that far in the first place.
No words were exchanged as the young prince strode past him, but he figured they would have a talk about this. A serious talk. At least Orin wouldn't be so calm when he heard that Zel was still Amelia's bodyguard. Amelia looked nervously from one till the other, before the door closed behind Orin. When Zel realised why she was so nervous, he gave her a reassuring smile. He wouldn't be chased away. She lit up in a bright and relieved smile of her own.
Lina and Gourry too caught on to this relieved atmosphere. The sorceress even had the gall to nudge Amelia with an elbow and ask her slyly:
"So, are you going to willingly share the intimate details, or should I ask Xellos for the gossip?!"
For that comment she got a "Shut up!" from Zel, and a "Lina-san!" from Amelia, and that was the end of that.
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AN: Alright! I think you've waited more than long enough for this. Hope it was at least somewhat satisfying. I'm a little ambivalent about how this turned out. Initially I wanted it to move faster, but it just wouldn't. There was too many things unsaid, and too many problems unsolved. Solving them, however, made the chapter exceed 30-some pages, so I figured dividing the chapter in two would be acceptable. Updates will very soon follow, as it is almost finished. (Just needs proof-reading).
Also, I've heard a rumour that there's a fanart on the way for this fic! (WTF! YAY!), so I'll keep you updated on it so that you don't miss out on any good ZxA art! :3