AN: Warning. This will be long and sappy. So sappy, in fact, that I ended up having to draw myself after having done the majority of this chapter.
http : (slash slash) themadbatter . deviantart . com (slash) art (slash) The-sappy-leeches-95030060
I hope you will enjoy this chapter, as it is the second to last one.
And for those of you who enjoy the way I portray Xel/Fil, I'll have to disappoint. I won't go much further with that in this fic. But if there's any mood for it, I'll perhaps make them their own fic. You'd like that?
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A stupid course of action.
Before one wakes up there's usually a period of time where the mind is slowly readjusting to reality. Sometimes that adjustment can be a little rocky, and dream and reality can mix freely together in a bright, wonderfully coloured, deceptively innocent looking cocktail, with a pink umbrella in it.
It was in one of those periods that Zelgadis cracked an eye open. The first thing he saw was the fabric of his pyjamas. Nothing really exceptional in that, except when the reality check came knocking on his visual cortex, telling them that there was something wrong. According to them, he was not lying in a position where he'd be able to see this part of his body. In fact, they couldn't think of any way in which he could stare down his own backside. And there was another thing altogether alarming about the sight. It wasn't his backside either.
His mind jumpstarted by this little surprise, he forced himself to wake a little more, and battled the other eye open too. He'd been sleeping well. A lot better than the previous attempts, and felt alarmingly rested and relaxed. His muscles hummed in a tranquil manner, and he was having a really hard time comprehending why he'd slept so well. No nightmares at all. No uneasy feeling.
Except for now of course. He found it difficult to move his head, probably due to the same relaxed feeling, the feeling of not quite being awake yet, but he'd never suffered from that before. When he finally did get around to drawing his head back a little, he realised that there was a head nestled on his shoulder and arm, and that it was resting at the crook of his neck. A tangled mess of black hair was what he looked down at, and he'd seen that bed-head so many times these past mornings that he knew exactly who it belonged to.
Gradually more awake, he started to assess the situation. Amelia was lying halfway on him, using him as a pillow, wearing his pyjamas, in his room. The startling realisation that he should have been on guard duty didn't seem to kick him hard enough to send him flying all the way into an awake and alert state, though. Instead he was more concerned with the view his eyes had fixed upon when he'd drawn his head even further back to see her face. While Amelia's bowed, sleeping face wasn't very visible to him, her cleavage, however, was.
It wasn't like he'd never noticed it before. With a girl as well-endowed as Amelia, it was pretty hard not to notice, although he'd taken a valiant go at trying for the longest time. But this was the first time it'd been pressed against his chest, an action that did nothing to diminish the shape, in his PJ shirt, with at least the first three buttons opened. An altogether way too pleasing view. He really should look away, he thought. He excused himself with not being entirely awake, which actually did seem to be the case, and figured there was no harm in enjoying the view for a bit. The fact that this thought wasn't thumped down the minute it surfaced alone was a proof sustaining the hypothesis that he wasn't quite awake.
When she started to stir, he felt his arm tug her towards him in an almost possessive way, all by itself, which of course made him wonder what the heck it was doing. At the same time he noticed that his other arm was draped over her midsection, one leg was draped over hers and one knee was between her lower thighs. To be more precise, it was trapped between her thighs, because there was no way he'd be able to remove it without force, and she'd wake from that. Generally he found that untangling himself from this would prove far harder than anything else he'd ever had to untangle himself from, including emotions and sticky situations. Thankfully the position left at least a decent distance between their lower regions, because while Zel never had been one to suffer much from morning wood, the effects of having Amelia lying on him like this, and the view she unconsciously offered him, was beginning to show.
While he was thinking of some sort of good way to gently untangle himself without waking her, both his arms moved of their own volition, again hugging her to him. The feeling of her lying there was addicting and altogether too nice. She moved and mumbled something in her sleep about justice and how she'd never forgive those who stood against it. He smiled uncharacteristically.
Seeing how there was no way to get up without waking the serene princess, he opted for staying, a decision that again sustained the suspicion that he wasn't quite awake. When had he stopped flinching when she touched him? When had he stopped wanting to flee when she was near? He found he couldn't pin it down.
Even when her hand began moving against his upper torso, he didn't even flinch. At first he thought she was doing it in her sleep. But when the movement took on the form of perfect, rhythmically drawn circles, he figured she was at least somewhat awake. Again drawing his head back in order to see her better, he managed to see her slightly opened eyes, along with the pinkish blush that was now spreading over her cheeks and nose.
"What are you doing?" he whispered, and thought for a moment that a "good-morning" would have sufficed. Or asking how she'd slept would've been good. He imagined he wasn't exactly the softest of pillows. But what the heck? A quick questioning was almost the same as a morning-greeting or a display of friendly concern. He reminded himself that he'd have to work on his social intellect one of these days.
Her eyes quickly flicked to his face and back again, staring at his chest. She didn't stop the motion.
"I don't really know..." she said, her voice low and more air than voice. "Does it bother you?"
The mere fact that she didn't just stop the minute she realised he'd noticed the motion was sending off all kinds of alarms and flashing lights in his mind. But he apparently failed to act accordingly, and simply shook his head with a soft smile. It didn't bother him as such. Far from it.
"No.. You knocked me out with a sleep-spell, didn't you?" he asked.
She hesitantly nodded, apparently expecting a reprimand. He laughed softly at the meek look on her face.
"I'd be mad if I wasn't so damn relaxed..." he trailed off, closing his eyes in bliss.
"You don't mind me lying here?" she asked, almost disbelieving.
He silently shook his head, not really sure that was the proper answer in this situation, but quite frankly he didn't give a damn.
After a while of silent circle motions, she apparently grew a little bolder and let her fingers dance further over his torso, while ghosting lightly over his tunic. He shivered from the touch, not unpleasantly. She noticed and looked at him almost questioningly. He felt he hadn't deserved that questioning look, seeing how it was more appropriately that he should feel puzzled by her actions than she should feel about his reactions to them. Never the less she felt like uttering the question.
"Did that bother you?" her blue eyes full of anticipation and nervousness.
"No... " he said. Then, suddenly feeling a little too passive and un-participating in the conversation, he felt like adding "It's... nice."
She smiled. Not the beaming smile, but the soft, content smile that was equally brilliant in its own, more quiet way. Again he hugged her to him, and felt the rush of the possessiveness run through him, like the most exquisite shiver he'd ever had.
Her fingers danced upwards, and as they came to caress the contour of his collarbone and neck, he found himself alarmingly reacting with tilting his head, allowing her even further access to the area, and letting out a barely audible sigh. Hearing his own sigh he suddenly snapped back to reality and grabbed her wrist. She looked at him, not blinking, not even blushing much, and certainly not explaining or excusing herself. He felt his will crumble and he simply let go of her wrist without saying anything. After a moment of hesitation it continued its trail of sweet torture.
His hand found its way back to rest on the small of her back, and to his horror he found that it'd started to mimic her caress, gently running his fingers up and down the curve of her spine. She almost purred as her eyes fluttered closed for a moment and she let out a relaxed and content sigh.
Recollections of yesterdays freaky events combined with the current situation were tearing the poor chimera in two. On one side this was very nice, tranquil and relaxing, not to mention highly pleasurable. On the other hand he just couldn't get the nightmare he'd had yesterday out of his mind, and he could feel that he was beginning to enjoy this too much. Besides, he had to remind himself, she probably didn't even know what she was doing. He forced his hand to stop the caress of her backside. After successfully halting that motion, he decided to break up the party altogether.
"Amelia.." he breathed. "I really think you should stop that now."
She looked at him with those impossibly blue eyes and her head slightly tilted.
"You don't want me to continue?"
"No. Well, yes, but..."
"It doesn't feel good?" she asked, and he could've bitten his tongue off right there. It came out so innocently it almost sounded suggestive. Well, he'd played right into this situation, hadn't he?
"It does, but-"
"I'm glad." She cut him off, not allowing him to argue. She snuggled closer to him, resting her head at the crook of his neck, and caressed the shoulder she wasn't lying on. He could feel his heartbeat speed up, and feeling of holding her like this was alarming him. The thought that he'd like to hold her like this forever scared him witless. But the thought of what he might do if he indulged in this any longer frightened him even more.
As Amelia shifted again, the leg that was between his brushed further upwards, and she was pressed a little more against him, although luckily not in the critical region. Her free hand started to caress his side and occasionally dipped down to his stomach.
He'd never imagined he would be this sensitive to touch. Of course he knew that his tactile senses were only slightly below normal, but he'd never figured it'd apply to this too. He could also feel her breath on the side of his throat. Why was it at the same time so relaxing, but simultaneously very unnerving too. It was certainly luring his thoughts into turning a very wrong corner somewhere, and effectively sending them walking down the streets of suggestiveness.
The distinct weight of her breast pressed against his chest, and her increasingly ragged and shallow breathing was nothing short of torture. Her fingers danced even lower on his sides, now once in a while brushing his hips. As she snuggled against him again, she now moved her thigh higher, now effectively pressing it up between his, and hence pressed herself closer to him, her hips critically advancing towards his. He wasn't quite certain, but he could've sworn she wasn't wearing the bottoms of his pyjamas.
This was where Zel could feel his self-control wear thin and decided to stop this before it snapped completely. He grabbed her by the shoulder and distanced himself a little from her.
"This is not a way friends interact, Amelia, no matter how damn close they are!" he almost felt like growling, but found it hard to raise his voice to her. He couldn't even find it in himself to sound stern. "Why are you doing this?"
Amelia bit her lip. She figured she might as well be honest. After all, she was going to explain it to everybody else later the same day anyways. He might as well be told in advance so that it didn't hit him like a hammer when he heard. Although she'd find it hard to believe that he could be in any doubt. But then again, he had been so before. She took a deep breath, and swallowed her uncertainties.
"Because I love you, Zelgadis." She said, and although she blushed, it came out almost natural, like it was no big deal. She guessed it really wasn't. She'd always loved him. He knew she had. This was telling him old news, only that they still applied. It was actually a lot easier than she'd thought. And she felt a sudden relief by coming clear with him.
"Look, Amelia, showing your friends that you love them in this way is sending out entirely wrong signals!" he almost sneered, as if upset with her. "You don't know what this is doing to me, dammit!" She noticed he was actually blushing. She smiled, but tried to hide it, seeing how it only made him further angry. However, seeing his angry look mixed with the disbelief and the blush was enough to make her giggle.
"What?!" he demanded, now sounding as if there was a big joke he'd missed out on and quite irritated about it too.
"You're right, you're wrong and you might be wrong." She said. Funny how this calm feeling of coming clean with him was making her giddy. Like she had the upper hand where in fact she didn't have any hand at all. She'd placed all her cards on the table. She guessed it was perhaps even more liberating than if she'd been in charge of the situation. She had nothing to lose.
Zel looked at her with an almost blaming look, and it was obvious that he didn't understand what she'd just said.
"You're right, it's no way to show affection to a friend. But it is not sending out the wrong signals." She said, wondering how much she'd have to spell it out for him. "And I think I have an idea what kind of effect it has on you." Saying the last part she couldn't help but blush.
"What do you mean, Amelia?" He asked, one stony eyebrow cocked, and looking sceptically at her. But it looked like he was catching on, like the right answer was nagging his thoughts, and he just hoped it wasn't the case.
"I told you that I love you." She said. "But... not just as a friend..."
She trailed off, but forced herself to keep looking at him. As it gradually sunk in, his face changed over many different kinds of emotion. From shocked to remorseful, to almost angry.
"You can't mean that, Amelia!" he insisted.
"You really believe that? After all that's happened?" she asked, hinting to all the tender moments they'd shared these last many days.
"Surely it's only in a platonic way." He tried, his voice almost meek.
"If it is, then why do I feel this strong urge to kiss you right now, Zelgadis?" She asked, her voice a whisper, but the tone altogether too honest for him to pass it off as something else than an actual intent. His breath hitched, as she leaned slightly closer.
His hand shot out to grab her shoulder again, stopping her movement.
"I think that would be a really stupid course of action, princess." He warned, while internally shouting at himself for not having waited with that better-knowing comment till after she'd kissed him. No matter what he said he couldn't convince himself that he didn't want to feel what those lips would feel like upon his own. But it wasn't his place to do that. He had no right to think that. Then again he had no bloody right to claim her heart in the first place, and yet he'd done so. Again. Not that he'd any idea how he'd managed to do so in the first place.
"You're probably right." She said, and took a deep breath. "And I'm perfectly fine with you not feeling the same.. But just give me one kiss and I'll never ask for anything more than that. I'd like my first real kiss to be from you."
He knew this was a bad idea. It even sounded like a bad idea. You didn't have to be a genius to figure out that this was a bad idea, but apparently you did have to be a whole lot smarter than Zelgadis was at that moment. While his brain was screaming for him to pay attention, like it was yelling at some kind of unfocused puppy, the rest of his body was strongly urging him to just run with it. One kiss couldn't harm anyone, could it?
"You should save that for Orin." A sudden rush of common sense and decency ran through him, forcing him to unwillingly utter the words.
She laughed. She actually laughed. For a moment his respect for her dropped a little. But when she looked at him again, he didn't see the face of an intentionally manipulative woman who was cheating on her future husband. He saw the face of a woman deeply in love, and very confident with it too.
"There'd be little point in that, seeing how I am not going to marry him." She said.
Like a kick to the stomach this threw him completely off guard. What was this about!? Had he ruined even that? He slowly rose to his elbows, freeing his one arm from underneath Amelia's head. He then sat up entirely, looking at her with mixed horror and remorse.
"And before you start blaming yourself, it's not because of you..." she started, then corrected herself. "Well, it is, but not as you might think. I know you don't feel the same, so don't feel bad about it. I don't expect you love me back or take Orin's place. But I won't marry another man while I'm still in love with you. I can't. It's not just! I'm not over you yet. Perhaps I never will be, but at least there's no justice in intentionally deceiving Orin into thinking he has a chance to gain my heart."
Zel was lost for words. How could she say it so easily? Like it was no big deal. Sailrune had been standing on end for weeks, celebrating. People had gathered. This wasn't just something to be called off. But when he looked in her eyes, he knew that she'd thought it through, over and through again a lot of times.
"And he knows this?!" Zel asked, stepping out of the bed. He wondered if she'd told Orin while he'd been out cold by the sleep-spell, because it was pretty obvious that this wasn't the going plan the night before at the reception.
"I'm going to tell him after breakfast." She said, sitting up, now sounding a little nervous, and looking down in a brooding way. "You'll help me through that, won't you, Zelgadis?"
He looked at her, leaned in over her, tilting her head up by her chin, and smiled at her comfortingly.
"Of course I will." He said. "If that's what you've decided. I'll stand by you no matter what."
"That's what friends are for?" she asked with a relieved smile. "Look, could we just forget this conversation ever happened?" She asked, hoping that they could at least retain this close friendship if they kept on pretending there was nothing more between them. He looked at her quickly, and sighed.
"I can't just forget that, Amelia." He said, honestly. "But I can promise you that I won't allow it to change things between us." He smiled comfortingly at her. "As for your request... Let me think about it, okay?"
Amelia breathed again. She hadn't known when she'd started holding her breath, but it felt like a long time now that she'd let it go. She moved to get out of the bed too, suddenly feeling a little silly. Just as she'd feared the night before when she'd put them on, the PJ pants had slit down, and were lying at the footboard of the bed. She looked at him, wondering if she dared to move from the covers of the bed. Zel himself stood looking his severely crinkled tunic, and obviously looking for his spare set.
In an attempt to lighten the mood and test the waters Amelia gestured towards him and said:
"I'm sorry you had to sleep in that. But I figured you wouldn't like the thought of me undressing you." She giggled as he spun around to look at her.
He quickly recovered, grabbing his spare tunic.
"I wouldn't know about that.." he started out, lifting his current tunic over his head and taking it off in one smooth movement. "But I doubt you would've been able to move me enough to do that. Of course, you could always have ripped it off me... But that would hardly have been any better for the clothes." He looked at her and gave her a smug smile.
Amelia looked back at him, her cheeks slightly red. She wondered if she'd ever figure out whether he was interested or not. Then again, he probably hadn't even done so himself. But still, this teasing atmosphere was definitely a relief. She'd thought the moment he knew her intentions he'd flee and close himself off as he'd done before. This proved he actually meant it when he'd said it wouldn't change anything.
"Don't you want me to turn around?" she asked, trying to sound teasing, but quite frankly it came out more confused than teasing.
"Why? You've seen this before." He said, casually dismissing it.
She sighed relieved. She then too decided that there was nothing to feel ashamed about, and got out of bed. It wasn't like he hadn't seen her thighs before, which was all the shirt really revealed. But when she got out of bed, he was still staring at her in disbelief.
"Want me to turn around?" he asked, and somehow his voice seemed a little troubled. Like he would have turned around on his own, if it hadn't been for him promising that he wouldn't make a big deal about it, and as a result forcing some kind of un-awkwardness between them. She giggled.
"You've seen me in less. Besides, I might need your help to get this dress on." She pointed to her evening-gown from the night before. Zel inwardly froze. He remembered all too well how she'd struggled with it the evening before, behind the dressing screen. At the time he'd wondered if he should've slipped behind the screen to "help her out with that", with entirely impure intentions. Now he wondered if it'd be so easy to help her into it without jumping back to the same track of thought.
"Why wear that one?" he asked, not thinking.
"Well, I don't really have anything else here.. Would you rather I made a run for my room wearing this?" she asked, her voice slightly sarcastic and teasing.
He gulped, thinking of how bad that would look. It would be bad enough if anybody saw them exit his room with her wearing the same dress as yesterday, but in his pyjamas-shirt.. That might be pushing it.
He noticed that it did look as good on her now as it had earlier this morning. The picture was altogether way too pleasing and felt way too right to him. Some kind of possessive pride he guessed. His girl in his clothes, right? Only it wasn't his girl, now was it, a part of him
reminded him. Another part remarked that it could have been. Perhaps it still could be. It was promptly stomped down. He had nothing to offer her, and besides, they'd been here before. Eventually it'd die out, just like it had the last time. Because it had died out, hadn't it?
Zelgadis found himself so occupied in the thoughts that he didn't notice he hadn't put on the fresh tunic he was currently holding. Amelia was standing with her back turned towards him, starting to unbutton the shirt.
He knew it would be awkward the moment his hand reached to grab her elbow, but did so regardless. She barely managed to look back at him before he'd yanked her elbow, effectively spinning her around and towards him.
She was caught flush against him, her hands instinctively managing soften the impact with his chest by resting on it. Her confusion was obvious, painted all over her blue eyes, and for a moment he wondered why the heck he'd done that.
Even if he was going to concede to her request, him wearing only his pants, and her being only in his half-unbuttoned pyjamas shirt, hardly constituted the right frames wherein a chaste, symbolic kiss could take place. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have missed such an obvious point. However, as he stood there, the only thing that he really noticed was an urge to run his hand through her hair, tugging it behind her ear. Which he indulged.
She leaned into the palm of his hand as he ran his fingers through her soft locks. To her surprise, he left it there, cupping her face. She wanted to close her eyes and just enjoy the caress, but somehow she felt that if she broke their eye-contact, he'd withdraw.
However, it seemed more like a conscious decision (albeit a stupid one) than him being caught in the moment, as he leaned down. His nose gently brushing hers, and the strands of his wire-hair tickling her cheek. As his breath mingled with hers she realised that she was breathing rather heavily, in anticipation.
She wanted to move, so badly. To just end the anticipation and kiss him. But then she was right back with the thought of scaring him off. If he wanted to grant her the kiss she'd asked for, it was really up to him. She couldn't just steal it from him or force him, and although his intentions were clear, he still had the right to change his mind.
His other hand had come up to brush through her hair on the other side of her face. He closed his mouth, swallowing, and looked at her with less intense but more tender eyes and expression.
"If I kiss you, I have this feeling the entire world will fall apart." He said, conveying his feeling of uneasiness as honestly as possible. He didn't know how he would react to it. But he knew that he already felt she was missing from his embrace the moment he'd gotten up from bed, and wasn't in any doubt that he'd keep on feeling that she was missing from now on. He didn't dare imagine what would happen if he was foolish enough to kiss her.
"I don't care." She said in a whisper, sounding exactly like she had nights ago, where they'd been standing almost on the exact same spot in a situation not entirely unlike their current one.
"This is really stupid..." he said, leaning even closer, and tilting her face towards his own.
"Then be an idiot, just for a little while.."
She'd hardly finished breathing the words before his lips softly and gently brushed against hers, as if he was afraid to harm her. Their joint inexperience with the whole action of kissing was evident, but not really bothering either of them. Amelia felt like her lower lip was on fire, tingling with oversensitivity from all the anticipation. And as his lips brushed over hers, she almost jolted. In order to leave little doubt of her approval, she dared lean in a little. Realising that this had not hurt her he pressed his lips further against hers, though still attempting to retain the gentleness.
One of Amelia's hands that'd been resting on his chest, found its way to his neck, and she hugged herself to him, putting a little passion into the act. Zelgadis found himself only too happy to respond in kind, and as she opened her mouth allowing him entrance, he took the invitation with no questions asked. His one hand moved from her cheek to rest at the nape of her neck, deeply entangled in her hair, and the other came to rest at the small of her back.
They both knew it was just one kiss. That was what the deal had been about. But that of course didn't entail that it couldn't be a long kiss. A long and passionate kiss. Either refused to be the first to break it off, and even when the door swung open, they were both so wrapped up in it that they didn't fly apart like they probably should have. Not that it probably would have made any difference at all to the shocked looking servant, who dropped the tray with breakfast he'd been holding, and quickly scurried out.
Needless to say the emergency meeting Amelia had hoped to have after her breakfast was rushed forward. Better they heard directly from her than from the palace gossip.
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All persons involved had been gathered within the hour in Phil's office, just as she'd asked for. When their mumbling simmered down a little, Amelia stood up, proud, and walked to the chair in which Orin sat. She looked at him squarely and with a slightly apologetic smile.
"It's off, Orin." She said, her voice as calm and even as she could muster. It wouldn't help anybody that she opened for the possibility for this to become scene.
Everybody looked at her with a surprised look, except for Gourry and Lina. Orin's face was one big question mark, and he didn't even have to open his mouth to utter the question before it was answered.
"It's not fair to you, or to anybody else in the matter. I don't love you, and I don't think I ever will."
"But Amelia, dear, plenty of nobles have arranged marriages where love eventually blossom-"
"No, Orin. You don't understand. I love somebody else." She said it so confidently and effortlessly now, as if it just came natural to her. She didn't sound particularly proud, but didn't at all sound like it was something she was ashamed about either.
Orin got up from his chair, running a hand through his blonde locks in a frustrated gesture. He started pacing the floor.
"It's that.. that thing that put you up to it!" he accused, pointing a shaky finger at Zelgadis.
Amelia shook her head in a frustratingly calm and peaceful gesture, as if she was fully confident with what she was about to say, and as if she was talking to a child that'd just thrown a tantrum.
"Zelgadis didn't put me up to anything. But it is true that I can't marry you because of him." She said, calmly.
Orin's eyes widened with anger, and he his teeth showed in a snarl, as he turned to glare even more daggers at the said chimera.
"Has he snared you with false promises of love?!" he hissed, more an accusation than an actual question.
"No. I know he does not love me." She said. "But it would still be unfair to you and to my people to pretend to love you and marry you while my heart belongs to somebody else."
Orin looked a little shocked at her first statement. Like he hadn't expected it to be possible for Amelia to love this monster without at least being promised everlasting love in return.
"So the wedding is off. I am sure you'll all be very diplomatic about this." Amelia said, her voice calm and very mature.
"But what about the attempts on your life, Amelia-dear? If we don't get married, they might continue!" he said.
"Unless that was a rather poorly concealed and even poorer delivered threat, that was a pretty pointless argument." Zel said, stepping up to the conversation for the first time. "The wave of assassination attempts started at the announcement of your countries unity. And even if they don't stop, I'll be here to protect her."
Lina bit down hard on her lip to keep the happy squeal from escaping them. Gourry reached out and clenched her hand in his, while smiling at her as discreetly as he could muster.
"You? You're the most incompetent and unprofessional bodyguard that ever existed!" Orin almost screeched. "Just this morning was a blatant display of your unprofessionalism!"
"It might be unprofessional, Orin, but I assure you that does not translate to ineffective or unmotivated!" he hissed, his teeth gritted and slightly bared in a snarling expression. "I don't think you'll be able to find one person in the entire kingdom keener to protect her than me!"
"You can't protect her forever!" Orin hissed, equally agitated.
Zel seemed to think about that statement for a second. Then the anger left his face, and he turned half to face Amelia and her father.
"You're right." He said, observing Amelia's nervous expression. He then took a deep breath and with it an equally deep decision. "But I can protect her for the rest of my life."
Everybody shut up directly after that. They all looked at each other, and only Lina and Gourry seemed totally unfazed by and quite happy about it. Then again, they were probably the only ones in the room that knew what that meant. Sadly, also including the chimera and the princess. If Zel indeed knew what the heck he was saying, well... then he wouldn't sound like there was still any room left in Amelia's life for any other man. Because there wasn't. They were just all pretending. And it seemed like Lina and Gourry were the only ones who'd figured that out. However, it was not bad at all. He might not have come to the point where he'd realised that he loved Amelia yet, but given the position of lifeguard on life, he'd come around eventually.
Zelgadis, knowing that this was the time for diplomacy and etiquette regained himself, and turned fully to face Phil. The bear straightened as he did so, looking Zelgaids squarely in the eyes with a stern but not hostile look.
"Prince, if I may." He asked. After Phil nodded his head, he continued. "I would like to ask your permission to be Amelia's bodyguard for as long as she might need me."
Amelia's eyes widened and she looked slightly alarmed and disbelieving all at the same time. She stepped a little closer, reaching out to place a hand on his arm.
"But what about your cure?" she all but whispered, her voice thin with disbelief, and her head slightly cocked to a side.
"If you need me as I am now, it would be pointless to find the cure now. If there ever comes a time where you don't have to fear the assassins, I'll go look for it then." He didn't look at her when he spoke, but held Phil's gaze. Like it was more a promise to Phil than to her.
"Very well my boy." Phil said. "You have my permission."
Amelia's disbelieving eyes darted to her father, obviously also disbelieving this to be real.
"This is all a conspiracy against Zephilia!" Orin hissed. "This will have consequences! When my father hears of this, he might even declare war against Sailrune!"
Lina shot him a glare, and he apparently sensed it, because he turned to look at her.
"Then just remember who lives here!" Lina said, her smug smile confident as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And we'll of course be in the front line, defending our home and family!"
Gourry tugged her proudly to his side, and shot Orin an even more defiant look. Everybody knew what an awesome duo they were, and they all knew not to get on Gabriev-Inverse-duo's bad side.
Orin decided not to push the subject, and instead went to Amelia.
"You agreed to marry me." He said.
"That's true." She returned, her voice not trembling. "And I am most sorry to break that promise."
"Then don't. It would be easier not to."
"But I don't-"
"You will eventually. I can live with that." Orin cut her off.
Lina bit her lip furiously. Somebody should really tell that guy to lay off, but the fact of the matter was that he had every right to at least try to remake her the offer under these changed conditions. And if Amelia truly believed that Zelgadis had not, did not and would not love her, then she just might accept it. Something had to be done to break the moment. Something. Anything!
"I don't think that..." but Amelia trailed off.
Orin stepped closer. Zelgadis almost moved to prevent him, but apparently remembered his place in all of this.
Then a little miracle happened.
"Amelia!" Lina shouted over the increasing mumbling in the room.
"Do NOT interfere, Inverse!" Orin hissed, not looking at her. "Nothing you say will stop this conversation."
Lina struck up a pained but scornful laughter, looking every bit the ever-triumphant sorceress she'd always been, when she looked up to meet their eyes. Gourry supported her in her hunched over state, with a concerned expression.
"How about "My water just broke!"?" she hissed out with a pained huff of laughter before she collapsed into her husband's arms.
After that everything about Amelia's wedding was entirely forgotten, as Lina was rushed to the healers and midwives. Amelia stayed by her side the entire time.
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Lina's baby might have been a little early, but Lina would forever say that it was "just in time", and seeing how it was a healthy and well-grown baby-girl, nobody ever disagreed with that. Lina almost instantly dubbed her Ruby, after seeing how she'd inherited Lina's deep red eyes. Her hair was red-blond, and everybody hoped that she'd inherit not only more of her father's hair-colour than her mother's but also more his disposition and temper rather than Lina's.
When she was absolutely certain that both mother and child was okay, Amelia left the room to seek a word with her father. With this new development, she simply didn't know where she was standing anymore. She was pretty certain that Orin and his entourage was packing up already, and would be leaving the castle pretty soon. She really hated having to do this, but there was no way to avoid it. She scolded herself for not having taken the obvious decision long ago. Zelgadis naturally was right at her tail, ever watchful even at this seemingly joyful hour.
She sighed to herself, and thought that at the very least she'd taken the right decision before it was too late, and that the "better late than never"-proverb should apply to her too. Besides, if Zelgadis did stay for a while, she'd be ever so happy. If something happened, it happened. If it didn't, she was no worse off than before. It was all in all a very relaxing situation she was in. Now all she had to do was to get it all sorted out with her father.
When she opened the door to her father's study, however, she didn't see the person she expected, and quite frankly she wondered if she could get away with slamming the door shut and pretending she hadn't seen the person. But the moment she opened it, the golden dragon twirled around to look at her with a way too concerned look on her face.
Amelia could only freeze in her tracks. Zel looked at her concerned.
"Amelia dear!" the dragoness exclaimed, walking over to hug her, as if she was really concerned, which, but all reason, she probably really was.
"Filia!" she exclaimed finally, trying to find some joy to put in the voice. "So happy to see you." She still wasn't very good at lying, so she decided not to try her luck with denying having received the letter, and just prayed to whoever deity listening that the subject wouldn't come up. Fat chance!
Filia quickly glanced to Zel, and smiled almost apologetically at him, and this was where Amelia knew that the shit would hit the fan.
"I see Orin is leaving.." Filia started, trying to keep Amelia's gaze, but failing to do so, as she apparently found anything else in the room far more interesting than the golden dragoness.
"Yes." Amelia said, her voice thin. "I decided to call it off."
Filia took a shaky breath, apparently getting herself ready to tear up the party.
"Because of Zelgadis?" Filia asked, her eyes still fixed on Amelia, and almost rudely pretending Zel wasn't there. To be fair, it was better that way. He had a distinct feeling that this was actually a private conversation between the two girls, and that his presence was only tolerated due to his position as guard.
Amelia nodded, still not meeting Filia's brilliant eyes. Zel knew something was wrong. Hadn't she said she was afraid Filia wouldn't turn up at all? Hadn't she asked for her the very evening before? Hadn't she been worried? What the heck was going on?
"But you know you're playing right into their trap?!" Filia's voice was not outraged, only overly concerned, and slightly disappointed.
Amelia just nodded.
This was where Zel figured this concerned him enough to at least have some right to know what the heck was going on. So he spoke up.
"Playing right into whose trap?" Zel said, not liking where it was going. This was obviously one of these questions where he had an idea about what the answer would be, and a certain feeling he wouldn't like it. But he couldn't help but asking it anyways.
When Filia met his eyes with sorrow-filled ones and her fangs digging into her lower lip, he knew he was right on the money.
"The alliance between prince Orin and Amelia... The Mazoku feared their union. So they set out to separate them... ending up using Lina, and in turn, you." She said, obviously trying to keep her voice even.
Zel was positive he'd just been struck by lightning. He'd been used.. by the Mazoku.. to ruin Amelia's relationship.. and hence the prosperous future that had awaited them and their countries. A future apparently so bright that the Mazoku had resorted to a rather clever, but risky plan. And they'd played right into it.
His eyes darted to Amelia's bowed head, hoping that she'd somehow come up with a convincing explanation, excuse, lie, ANYTHING. But her silence confirmed that it really was the case.
The urge to flee that had been magically misplaced and missing within him for the last many days was suddenly found, and flee he did. Alone in the room stood a broken-hearted Amelia and a very confused and sad dragoness.
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When she exited the castle, Filia felt strangely empty. It was still a mystery to her how she'd managed to escape and that still worried her thoughts somewhat, but she'd thought that telling Amelia would somehow make her feel relieved. When she heard the sizzle behind her, she didn't even spin around to meet his gloating with an open face. It didn't matter if he made fun of her. It wasn't like she'd anything to say in her defence.
"So... Was it worth it?" he asked. His tone of voice took her by surprise. He was simply asking her the questions, no smug or sly tones to it. Like he was genuinely wondering if she thought it'd been the right choice.
Well, she didn't. It hadn't been worth it, but was she going to give him the satisfaction of hearing her saying it?
Apparently.
"No." She answered.
Her voice threatening to reveal that she was close to breaking down crying. This wasn't at all what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to have saved Amelia from an evil scheme, not to cause her sadness.
The more she thought about it, the more she realised that this was a mistake. If Amelia and Zelgadis had found their way into a relationship together on their own, she'd been the first to congratulate them. It pained her, but the only reason why she'd been against the idea of Amelia breaking up with Orin had been because the damn Namagomi had been for it! Just like he'd said. She'd always take the opposite side, no matter what it was.
Not really good with handling self-blame, she reached for Mace-sama and swung it at the damned trickster.
"And this is all your fault!" she screamed, fighting to go into a hysterical rage, to just forget about all of it. Of course, whenever she did that, she'd be too unfocused to even have a chance to harm him.
He phased out, and as he reappeared in front of her, again too close for comfort, he didn't look smug at all. "Too close for comfort" was perhaps a wrong term to use, because as she broke down crying, him wrapping his arms around her and hugging her into a tender embrace proved that he was exactly close enough for comfort.
"You're probably enjoying this, you bastard!" she wailed into his shoulder. She could feel him shake his head reluctantly.
"I must admit that I let you escape because I was expecting you to do exactly this." He admitted, stroking her hair. "And it was also according to my plan that the poor princess would end up with no one at all... But although the pain in the city of light is marvellously plentiful... I never expected this sweet victory to taste so... bitter."
She looked up at him, blinking away a few tears, to see him clearer. Her disbelief was evident. His tone had been wondering, surprised, but honest. Something in-between a child's disappointment and genuine regret was marring both his tone and face, and he was looking at the castle, as if it was a stage upon which the players somehow had failed to play their parts right.
"So... You admit you were wrong?!" she asked, incredulity making her voice crack.
It broke his thoughtful moment, and he looked back down on her, a smug smile tugging the corners of his mouth, but his eyes still honest.
"You admitted you were, and I'd hate to give you any reason to think, that you're a greater person than I am." He said, his tone again superior and playful. "So in a show of my greatness, I'll admit that yes, I was wrong."
It did nothing to piss her off, instead cheering her up a bit enough to smile at him and push herself away from him in an almost playful manner. She wondered if that was what he'd been aiming for with the statement, or if she was just close enough to see that he was only teasing her.
The mood, however, quickly dropped again as she came back to reality. So he'd admitted that he was wrong too, fine, but that didn't change the fact that the two of them between them just had managed to ruin both of Amelia's prospective loves.
"I can't believe this is happening!" Filia could feel her lower lip quiver, and tried to stop it by digging her fangs into it. It didn't help much, only made the pressing tears tickle something behind her nose and sting her eyes. Xellos turned, either to look at the castle entirely, or to give her some privacy to cry.
"Well, I'm willing to settle for my initial plan of seeing Rezo's glorious blood in the Sailrune line of heirs." Xellos said, trying to sound more scheming than compassionate. That only earned him a little smile from the dragoness. "He hasn't left yet. If we could somehow prevent him from doing so..." he said, musing. "If they could just have a talk about this. Amelia had already made up her mind about how she felt about being used by Mazoku in this particular case..."
"Forcing him won't work. I saw the look in his eyes." Filia said, through sobs. "I think I know what he felt. Like he was responsible for the entire situation. Like the world would have been better off without him... Forcing him will only make him distance himself more from her."
Xellos looked at her with the "well you're not being much of a help here" –stare. She wrecked her brain to think of anything they could do that could delay the chimera's departure.
Then it struck her.
"Oh! I got it!"
And when Xellos heard her plan, he had to admit that she really did have it.
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When the new parents heard of all of this, Lina threw one of her legendary fits, making all the healers and midwives wonder how she had managed to preserve so much energy. Thankfully, she didn't have energy enough to back the fit up with some really high-level spells, so the castle was only marginally damaged.
But it still got the chimera's attention when he heard something explode in the west-wing, and somebody shouting his name. After a while, she simmered down, and couldn't be heard in the hallways anymore.
He wouldn't have been there to hear her at all, if bad luck hadn't struck. Again. He'd initially wanted to return the bracelet to Amelia, and had eventually done so. But now that he was leaving for good, he figured he needed it back, or he'd go crazy.
He knew exactly where she'd put it, and luck had been on his side that far, because she was apparently with her father and their guards, somehow trying to make a substitute guard-program for her. He scoffed at the idea. If that was all the protection they could offer, then Amelia would be better off without them. She was far more capable than any of the palace guards. Besides, somebody else guarding her like he had, somebody taking his place... the thought didn't sit well with him at all, but he bit it back down. There was really nothing that could be done about it.
While she was out of her room, he'd snug in. However, the damned thing wasn't there. He'd already packed all of his stuff and was ready to take off, but the bracelet..
She wasn't wearing it, as far as he could remember.
The only thing he could think of was that somebody had taken it. But who, and for what reason.
Wandering down the hall towards the exit of the wing, he got his answer. Gourry stood at the end of the hallway, his sword drawn in one hand and in the other the bracelet. Zel wondered how the heck he'd gotten it, and even why, but when he looked at Gourry's face, he knew the dim swordsman knew the significance of the item he was holding.
"Gourry." He greeted, searching his face for clues as to what the general attitude towards him was. He wouldn't be surprised, nor disappointed, if the swordsman and the sorceress had decided to side with Amelia in all of this.
"Zel." Gourry greeted back. "You're leaving?"
The chimera nodded.
"Can I have that bracelet?" he asked, hoping it would be this easy, but not really expecting it.
"Nope." The blonde returned, looking from the chimera to the bracelet and back again. "Lina told me to stop you, with force if I had to. And Xellos told me to hold on to this like my life depended on it, or something like that."
Zel felt his stomach flip over in an entirely unpleasant way by the mentioning of Xellos' name. Surely this was one of the Mazoku's latest attempts to manipulate him, only Gourry was too honest not to tell, and hence gave away the plan. It only made it all the more vital for him to get away.
But as he looked at the bracelet, he found he couldn't just leave without it. He somehow had to convince Gorry to part with it... Or take it from him? He only considered it for a second. Even if he ever would raise his sword against a friend again, he'd be downright stupid to do so against Gourry. No way he'd get the bracelet from him and walk away.
"Gourry, I need the bracelet." He tried. He wouldn't resort to begging... yet.
"Well, then you need to stay." The swordsman said, as if stating the obvious. "Because it ain't leaving this castle!"
Zel's eyes narrowed, and he wondered if the swordsman really was referring to the bracelet. Then again, it was Gourry, after all.
"I can't stay." He tried, and hoped Gourry would realise this obvious truth.
"Yes you can. You promised just this morning to protect Amelia as long as she'd need you." Gourry returned as he took a step forward, his tone actually a little scolding.
Zelgadis felt his heart sink. Yes he had promised that. He couldn't say that he wished he hadn't, but he could say he wished their situation had been different.
"You don't see. I obviously serve Amelia and Sailrune better by not being here at all. I protect her better by being absent." He stated, his voice thin with regret. "I managed to ruin her relationship with Orin, to spoil her wedding and send Sailrune into a diplomatic pinch. And I even managed to play into a Mazoku scheme. I've no right to be here, Gourry."
"But Amelia wants you here, and Phil gave his permission too!" Gourry argued, obviously not understanding how one could have the prince's permission to stay but, somehow still lacking the right to. He'd sheathed his sword, but was walking to stand on Zel's right side.
"I'll just make things worse." Zel said, turning to face him with a pained face. "I can't believe I didn't think of this before. And if I stayed I'd only be getting Amelia's hopes up. She's better off with me far, far away, where I can't ruin her life, and so that she might get over... this.. whatever it is. It'd be better for me, too.."
He sighed deeply and wondered momentarily why the heck he hadn't left earlier. It wasn't like he hadn't seen the warning signs. He'd only chosen to ignore them. Why was that, he wondered. He knew something was happening, and he'd let it. Why? Was he just that evil at heart?
"I don't get it. I thought you loved Amelia?" Gourry sounded confused and even though he looked at Zelgadis, it seemed like he was more asking himself than the blue chimera.
"Love her?... I don't lo.." Zel turned to look at the swordsman, and then looked to the side, running a hand through his wirery hair. He found that he couldn't actually complete that sentence while looking the swordsman in the eyes. Even after looking away, he didn't feel like saying it. "Look, Gourry... love is such a complicated thing." He settled for that and hoped it'd end the conversation.
"Seems pretty simple to me!" Gourry claimed. "It's just all about finding somebody you really wanna protect, and then stick with 'em!" Gourry said, lighting up in a smile. "I thought you'd already chosen one to protect. I mean, you've often 'nuff jumped to Amelia's rescue, and all. I think that was why Lina was so pissed at you. 'Cause we all thought you'd chosen her to protect.."
The chimera looked at him, dumbfound. It wasn't that simple at all. Was it?
Not arguing any further, and obviously feeling he'd said what he wanted to, the swordsman handed the bracelet to the chimera. As he left the room Gourry closed the doors behind him. It was only then that Zel realised that Gourry had somehow backed him into the library, without him realising it. As he looked around, everything looked exactly the way they had when he'd left long ago, with only slight modifications, that was entirely swallowed by the light and ambience which remained the same.
Had it been a coincidence that he'd ended up in this room? He didn't know, and wasn't really sure he'd ever know. He walked to the bookshelf holding the book he'd been reading in that night two years ago. It'd been the last one he'd needed to check.
As he took it out, opening it and slamming it shut again, he could not recollect what the heck he'd been thinking back then. And yet it seemed like it was clear to him for the very first time.
He'd loved Amelia. Loved her enough to leave her. Because he really didn't have anything to offer her, and she really was better off without him. And here he was again. And still didn't have anything to offer her... and she still...
He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, book in hand, just staring at the cover and putting together the confusing and scattered pieces of the puzzle that was his emotional history.
A startling slam of the door brutally snapped him out of his thoughts. It'd been opened with such force that he was for a moment wondering if it'd been kicked open. Standing at the entrance to the library was Amelia. Again almost wearing a nightgown. By almost meaning that the parts that weren't transparent were still way too short. She marched into the room, defiantly holding his gaze as she approached.
"I couldn't sleep!" she stated, her teeth clenched, not even trying to make it sound convincing.
Zelgadis knew this would be bad.
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AN: Cliffie? Well, I'm not really sure. But I'm working on the last chapter. I initially set out to ending it with ten chapters. I guess you could say it's ending here. Or you could stay tuned for the sappy and fluffy ending. All up to you.
This was rather sappy, I think, and I have a real problem turning a series I love so much into something more dramatic and realistic (and sappy) that it isn't! So just so you know, I don't live in the naïve belief that it's In Character. But it was still damn fun making. :D
I made a self-portrait of how I felt after doing the majority of this fic:
http : (slash slash) themadbatter . deviantart . com (slash) art (slash) The-sappy-leeches-95030060
Fill out all the blanks with the designated sign and remove the spaces.
I think it turned out pretty representative of my state. :D
See you soon. :D