A/N:holds up award: Goldy and I would like to thank all our fans. Without them none of this….:stops and looks down at notes then back at audience: My bad, wrong paper. We would like to thank Juliette Angel for the idea for this chapter. See, we told you if you have a good idea, we just might write about it.
Oh, btw, this chapter picks up right after the last chapter. No time has passed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brennan duck-footed her way to the bathroom, trying to make it to the stall without having an accident. She did a little jog as she laid down a seat cover, undid the clasp on her jeans, pulled them, along with her underwear down and sat, relieved she made it. It was the next sight, however that made her groan.
"Damn it." She reached into the pocket of her pants and pulled out her cell phone. With a sigh, she hit number one on her speed dial. After two rings, Booth answered the phone.
"Booth, I have a little problem..."
"What? Didn't make it in time?" he teased. "I warned you about drinking that last soda you had."
"No, it's not that," Brennan replied, her cheeks on fire. "I, um, that is, you see." She stopped, and squeezed her eyes shut. I'm so glad nobody else is in here, she thought.
"Well, what is it then?"
Brennan paused, trying to think of the best way to put it. What was the phrase Angela had used a few times? Something about the ocean. Oh, that's right.
"I'm, um, surfing the crimson wave, uh, and I seem to be lacking a uh, surfboard."
Booth pulled the phone from his ear and looked at it like it had grown wings. With a slight shake of his head, he brought the phone back before saying, "Bones, what the heck are you talking about? If it's football, then it's the Crimson Tide."
"I'm not talking about football," she snapped and he heard an aggravated groan from the other end of the line.
"Then what," he began and then trailed off. Realization finally hit him.
"Oh. Oh. Well, um what do you need?"
"I need for you to go to the store and pick something up. I refuse to use the stuff they supply in restrooms."
"Okay, I have a vague idea of what I need to pick up, but what is it specifically I'm looking for?"
"You know what, just call me back when you get to the store, and I'll direct you, okay?"
"Um, sure," he said, already reaching for the key to start the SUV. "What are you going to do in the meantime?" He glanced over his shoulder before pulling out.
"Oh, I don't know Booth," she said. "I was thinking about doing the Tango!"
"Geez, you don't have to yell," he said and then added under his breath, "PMS is a bitch."
"I heard that."
Seeley rolled his eyes before flipping the phone shut. He continued to mutter under his breath as he searched the roadside for a store. Finding one after only a few minutes had Booth breathing a sigh of relief. He got out of the SUV and made his way into the supermarket. With a quick glance at the aisle signs, Booth made his way to the Feminine Needs Aisle and pulled his phone back out.
"Okay, Bones, what am I looking for?"
"Always slender with wings."
"Always? What is that? Like the product is always reliable? Huh." Booth wandered down the aisle, looking left and right to make sure he wasn't seen. As his gaze darted side to side, he paused to look at a product name. "Depends. Shouldn't it be definitely?" An outraged huff sounded behind him, and Booth turned to see an old lady glaring at him.
His face went red, and he offered a nervous version of his charm smile, before dropping his eyes. "You so owe me for this," he told Brennan in a hush tone.
"What's the matter, Booth?" she asked. "Intimidated?"
"I most certainly am not," he said, straightening his back. "It's just that…never mind. What is it you need again?"
"Always slender with wings. It's in a salmon colored package."
"Salmon? So I need to look for a salmon colored box...Okay, I can do this." Booth got momentarily distracted in his search as he came across some other items unfamiliar to him. He picked up the item to look at it. "What the hell is feminine spray for?"
"Booth, focus," came the answer from the other end. "Always. Salmon package." Booth gave the feminine spray one last look before turning his attention back to his search.
"Kotex, store brand, Always," he listed off. "Always Overnight. Long."
"Slender, Booth."
"With wings, yes I know," Booth said, and then added, "What exactly are the wings for? Do they fly now?"
"Booth!"
"Okay, okay, I'm focusing. Bones, there are no salmon colored packages."
"There has to be! It's a salmon colored package."
"Look, I'm telling you, there is no salmon packaging here!" Booth's volume raised as he got more and more frustrated. At a terrified squeak, Booth turned to see a thirteen-year old girl look at him. He groaned as the frighten girl hurried away from him. "Listen, why don't I get you…umm, these," he said reaching out to pick up a yellow package.
"No, Booth it has to be," Brennan started.
"Always slender with wings," Booth finished. "In a yellow package." The line went silent.
"Oh, well, yes I guess it could be yellow."
Booth rolled his eyes skyward, praying for patience, and muttering to himself. "It's just PMS, it's just PMS."
"Okay, so I'm gonna go pay for these. Is there anything else you need?"
"No, that's it."
"No chocolate or pain stuff, 'cause I'm not going to drive back here."
"No, Booth, that's it."
"Okay then," he said as he made his way to the registers, trying to hide the yellow package.
He waited in line behind an old man who had a loaf of bread, three bananas and a jar of peanut butter. The young female clerk engaged in small talk, while she checked the man out. After the older man left, Booth stepped up and put down his items. One yellow package of Always, a package of painkillers, a 20 oz. bottle of Coke and four candy bars. I'm not taking any chances, he thought. "Did you find everything you needed?" the clerk asked, scanning the candy bars.
"Yes, thank you," Booth mumbled. He watched as each item passed over the scanner until the young woman picked up the Always. She scanned it once, twice and then a third time. With a small smile, she hit the button on her microphone.
"Price check for register 3. Always slender with wings." Booth closed his eyes and groaned inwardly. The clerk looked at Booth with a smile.
"Girlfriend got you on an errand?"
"You could say that, but it's not my girlfriend." Booth wouldn't look at the clerk. He examined his fingernails, looked over the magazines, anything but make eye contact with the young woman.
"Wife then?"
"Nope."
"Sister?"
"Can we just drop this, please?" The clerks' phone rang. she picked it up and listened intently. Once she set the phone down, she turned back at Seeley.
"Three dollars and fifteen cents for the Always." She entered the information into the register. Seeley handed the girl money for the items, collected them and rushed from the store.
Never, ever again, he thought as he climbed back into his SUV. He tossed the bag into the passenger seat, sat the Coke in the drink holder, fastened his seatbelt, and cranked the car up. He looked both ways, and then pulled out of his parking spot. He had just pulled onto the street when his cell phone rang. "Booth."
"Where are you?" Brennan demanded. "This toilet seat is getting hard."
"Don't get all snappy with me, Bones. Thanks to you and your…Always with wings, I've just had the most embarrassing moment ever. Therefore, you can just sit there for another two minutes on that hard seat." With that he snapped his phone shut. He didn't need her fussing in his ear. Not after every thing he had just done for her. He pulled into the parking lot of the small gas station, parked and shut the SUV off. He looked at the bag of items and then the door that led to the restrooms. Booth quickly opened his phone and hit speed dial. "Bones, um, how do I get it to you?"
"What are you, six? Just come in the bathroom and hand it to me."
"Anyone else in there?"
"No. And can you hurry please? I think my legs are falling asleep."
Booth closed his phone and looked again at the bathroom door. Finally he pulled the yellow package out of the bag, ripped it open and pulled out a single pad. With a deep breath, he climbed out, shut the door and began the walk. Dead man walking, he thought gloomily to himself. He took one last look around and pushed through the outside door. Now he was faced with two more doors. One labeled 'Gentlemen' and one 'Ladies'. He swallowed hard, and then opened the one that Brennan was in. "You so owe me," he said, as he entered.
"I'm sure you'll find some way to get even," she said as she reached under the stall door.
"You'd better believe it, Bones." He muttered as he handed her the pad. He turned to leave the bathroom, and the door swung open. As the overweight woman stepped in, she screamed.
"I'm just," he started, but the woman was already swinging her purse at him.
"Get out! Out you…you…pervert." Booth threw his arms up to defend himself while trying to get passed the woman.
"Ma'am, if you would stop." However, the woman started a new attack, and this time her purse-Must weigh 2 tons, Booth thought- slammed him in the face. Finally he made it out the restroom, Brennan's soft laughing filling his ears.
Five minutes later the passenger door of the SUV opened and Brennan got in. Booth sat, his head back, and the Coke he bought for Brennan pressed to his face. "Thank you," she said softly, after closing the door.
"If anybody," Booth began. "I mean any freakin' body finds out about that, and this includes Angela, I swear I'll kill you." Booth removed the Coke and turned to face his partner. His right eye already beginning to bruise.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tell us, are you laughing out loud right this moment?