A/N: Man alive! I'm telling you, Murphy's Law was written about my life. Everything that could have happened to keep me from writing weekend happened. And that to a slight case of writer's block, and I'm amazed I was able to get another one done.
I received a lot of reviews addressing a specific issue, so I decided to just address it here in the author's note instead of sending out a bunch of replies.
Monster Blood is an item to appear in five Goosebumps books so far, always as the main character (In case you were wondering, Slappy has appeared as a main character in five as well, plus a guest appearance in one of the endings of a Give-Yourself-Goosebumps choose your own ending book). However in this fic the Monster Blood was just a plot device; introduced as part of the mission which was designed merely to get Kim and Rufus away from Ron for his scene.
I've also been asked if Barkin is going to get his comeepence (I don't know if that's a real word or not, but my dad's used my whole life. Then again he still thinks DVDs are just a fad and that VHS will rise again). The answer is no, Barkin will not reappear in the story, and Slappy will not do anything to him.
Sitch of the Living Dummy
By MaceEcam
Chapter 6
"Nobody knows de trouble I've seen"
Clang clang clang clang
"Nobody knows but Jesus"
Clang clang clang clang
"Would you cut that out already!" The prisoner in the next cell yelled at him. Ron paused from what he was doing, then resumed singing and rattling the metal spoon in his hand against the bars of the cell. He wasn't about to let anybody tell him what to do-not on his turf. He had been locked up too long for that.
The door at the end of the long hall opened and light streamed forth illuminating those within; Ron stepped back and covered his eyes, the bright light to much for eyes.
Footsteps could be heard walking down the hall and a moment later a police officer appeared in front of Ron. He opened the cell and grabbed Ron's shirt, pulling him out.
As he and Ron began walking by all of the cells, the inmates started cheering for him.
"Come on you, your goin' free." The officer said with a snarl, as if he disapproved of the decision.
"Free?" Ron asked. "Could it be true? Oh thank the heavens, a few more weeks in this place would have been the end of me. Then it is with joy for their fellow survivor that the inmates wept?"
"One: Why are you talking all funny like that? Two: Their probably just happy that you're leaving. And three: Those are holding cells, and you've only been in there a couple of hours!" The guard snapped at him.
"Really?" Ron asked, returning to his normal pattern of speech. "Like dude it seemed much longer."
"Freak" the guard snapped at him, pushing him out of the holding area into the main office.
"Ron!" Kim yelled spotting her BF. Despite still being angry at him, she had been worried about him and was glad to see him ok. Lurching forward from the chair from which she had been waiting, she enveloped Ron in a hug to top all hugs.
After they had pulled apart, she pulled her arm back and slapped him in the face as hard as she could.
"Ow!" Ron yelled clutching his cheek. "What was that for?"
"Making me worry!" Kim shouted back at him.
"Knock in off you two." The officer interrupted. Kim turned and look at him. He looked familiar for some reason, but Kim couldn't place him.
"Excuse me Officer-"Kim leaned in to read his badge. "Tarkin- wait, you don't happen to be related to a Steve Barkin are you?" She asked recognizing where he had seen those facial features before.
"You know Uncle Steve?" He replied proudly.
"Well that explains it" Ron mumbled to himself, referring to the guards gruff attitude. He was quickly glared at by both Kim and the guard.
Over at the desk the guard pulled up a file of the computer screen. "Ron Stoppable…I know that name…"
"It's ah-a common name" Ron stuttered hoping Mr. Barkin hadn't mentioned him to his nephew. The guard shrugged and went back to reading. "You are one lucky dog; the owner of that shopping center has decided not to press charges. Seems you helped him sometime in the past, something about an exploding toilet and a pack of chewing gum."
"What about the store owner?" Kim asked while the Ron sat in the corner and tried to look inconspicuous.
"What store owner?" The Officer Tarkin asked offhandedly. He was bust reading Ron's folder, trying to figure out where he had heard the name before.
"The store Ron broke into, what else?"
"What? Lady there hasn't been a store in that shopping center for years"
Kim stared at him speechless and Ron stopped tugging on her sleeve.
"Ah ha! Proofthat something's up with that place. The dummy's alive, a knew it!"
"Are you sure? We were there just this morning." Kim stated ignoring Ron. Taken tapped his screen. "Lady"-Kim growled, she did not appreciate being called 'Lady'- "I'm just telling you what's on the screen. Maybe it's right, maybe it's wrong, maybe I'm not paid enough to care."
"But you're a cop. Isn't caring your entire job description?"
He shrugged.
Kim sighed. "Come on Ron, lets go."
"Hold on a sec Kim, I have some belongings to claim." Ron replied holding his hand out to the cop. Tarkin reached under his desk and pulled out a large box; he proceeded to hand Ron various objects.
"One watch"
"A thank you." Ron put the watch on his wrist.
"One cell phone"
"I'll take that."
"One half eaten bag of Nacho's"
"Yeah…you can go ahead and throw that away."
"Aww…"
"Oh alright, give it Rufus."
"Yay!"
"One ventriloquist dummy."
"Yeah, you can go ahead and keep that."
"Ron!"
"Alright, hand it here." Ron gingerly took the thing from Tarkin.
Kim turned to Tarkin. "Is that everything?" She asked.
"Yeah I think so. Wait a minute" he snapped his fingers. "Now I know where I'd heard your name before, Uncle Steve talks about you all the time." He scowled. "He says you're a no good punk."
"Figures" Ron said.
"And with this breaking and entering charges, I guess he was right huh punk?"
"You said those were dropped!"
"Oh they were. From the official record. But I never forget."
"So what does that make you, an elephant?"
"Ron!" Kim snapped and dragged him out of the station before he could get into anymore trouble. "Get I the car" she told him, pointing at the Sloth. The Tweebs had finally fixed it and Wade had it waiting at the airport for her, after having it drive there on autopilot. After they had gotten in and buckled, Kim pulled out into traffic. Keeping her eyes on the road, Kim spoke to Ron.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Can you blame me Kim, that guy had it out for me! It's cause I looked at him funny when he arrested me."
"Ron for once in your life will you just shut up!" Kim screamed, finally loosing her temper, causing the cars around her to honk there horns as she swerved slightly. She quickly calmed down and got back in the correct lane.
Ron stopped talking.
Trying to keep her temper down, she began again. "What is your problem today huh? First you go and try to get yourself killed by insulting Brick, then you completely ruin my presentation. I mean how could you do that to me? And then you go and break into a store like some kind of…criminal!" She eyed him suspiciously. "You haven't been hit by the attitudinator or reverse-polarizer again have you?"
"No!" Ron insisted. "Kim I can't believe you don't believe me. It's all Slappy's fault, he was the one insulting Brink, he was the one who ruined your presentation!"
"And I suppose he was also responsible for breaking that window." Kim said sarcastically.
"Yes!" Ron exclaimed. "Don't you understand?"
"Drop it already Ron" Kim said tiredly as she stopped at a red light. It only lasted a moment, then they were driving again. "Do you seriously expect me to believe you? There is no such thing as talking dummies."
There was a pause, and a moment later Kim pulled up to Ron's house.
"You're right Kim." Ron said as he opened the door to get out. "There is no such thing as talking dummies. There's also no such thing as Mystic Monkey Power, mutants, killer robots, aliens, or blue skinned mad scientists either.
And with tha Ron got out of the car and walked into his house. As Kim drove home, she wondered just how big a mistake she just made.
A/N: I hated writing this chapter. I just couldn't picture an unresolved fight between Kim and Ron, and I struggled with every word. Plus this is the shortest chapter yet, smaller even than the prologue. The A/N takes up the majority of the chapter. In addition this chapter doesn't really accomplice anything other than introducing Officer Tarkin, a character I wasn't sure I wanted to intro or not, and after some of the reviews I've received I have decided to go ahead and not mention him again. Not taking him out of this chap though, it make it even shorter!
Anyway yes I know this chap was just horrid, I hope the next one turns out better. With luck Kim will find out the truth about Slappy in the next one, maybe the one after. We'll have to see how it flows.