DISCLAIMER: HUNTER X HUNTER AND IT'S CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE.

Yue,

I know you cannot see me now. The sun is blinding you,right? And I do know that you are hiding on the other side of the earth far away. But it doesn't matter at all. I wish to speak to you once more.

Death is coming after me, Yue. The Ryodan is gone and my comrades are no more. Only I survived the havoc which tore the Spider to pieces. I became the sole debris of the organization.

I do accept the fact that I am going to die in the hands of that Kuruta, but I am trying my best to keep myself alive. For some reasons I can't understand, I want to see that child I left in that apartment many years ago. I don't know why I desire to set my eyes upon him, but I do know that I cannot throw myself into the pool of lifelessness without beholding him once again.

Five years of hide and seek. That is how I lived my life during these years of persecution. But my face, my physique, and everything of me remained the same way I was before. I retained all of my former self except for this hair which grew longer as the time passed by. I know he will know me. I know...

Yue, I don't know where or how to begin searching for him till I remembered the building where we shared that fateful night. I walked towards that location. I'm not certain if I'd find him there but it is the only place I know where to meet him. As I stepped forward, I couldn't help but imagine his face i terribly tried to forget..Those wide purple-gray eyes filled with a hint of both innocence and maturity.. his pale ivory skin... Well, many years have passed and he may have grown into a fine young man. How many years was that? Kurapika began slaughtering us for five years..and two years before that.. Ah,seven. That was seven years.

Ah, that was so long ago. So long before I realized my longing to see him..to apologize for the wrong that I have done to him. I know that it could be somewhat humiliating, but I felt the need to say sorry once and for all..He may seek his revenge on me. He may even resort to kill me. But it's okay. I will accept whatever karma he may bring me into. I know very well that I am guilty.

I went closer to that hill where the old building once stood. My eyes were astounded when I saw those walls shine with the luster of fresh paint. It wasn't ruined as I expected it to be. It gave me the hint that somebody owned it now. I wanted to sigh in dismay. But I can go inside if I want to, can't I? I'm a criminal and tresspassing is an ordinary violation I used to commit in my life as a professional assassin. I decided to go.

There was no gate, just the way it used to be. I twisted the knob of the main door open. I don't understand why my heart began to beat so fast when I perceived that aura wrapping everything in its wide radius including me. He is obviously here. His kind of ten tells me that the recent years have shaped him into a strong nen-user.

I looked at the place all over and began to stare at the enormous chandelier of diamonds hanging on the ceiling of the well-furnished living room. I walked so quietly searching for the source of that aura. I went upstairs. My feet carried me into that room where I did the hideous crime to him. I turned the knob so slowly till the door opened to reveal a picture of an elegant bedroom. Everything was changed. Absolutely changed.

The door closed behind me without the movement of my hands. My heart pounded harder than ever in an upbeat rhythm as I beheld a figure standing by the window. There he was, grown-up and much bigger than me. He turned his head to look at me, gazing straight into my eyes.

"Nii-san..." he whispered. Even his voice have changed.

I walked closer to him. "You have grown so well, my child," I said.

Those purple-gray eyes sparkled so beautifully, even more lovely than the diamonds of that chandelier as I saw myself reflected on his irises. A playful breeze blew his long black hair to the right. I was torn when I saw tears falling down his pale ivory skin. I quickly untied the black piece of cloth covering my face and dried his cheeks with it.

"Hush," I said. "Stop crying. Na? Why do you shed tears, my child? Are you angered by my presence?" I gazed at him, thinking about the apology I wanted to tell him so badly. "I'm sorry."

He wrapped me so tightly in a warm embrace. "Don't you ever say that."

I embraced him back, closing my eyes. I never protested when I felt his arms carry me up and lay me down the surface of that soft bed. I felt his weight topple over me.

"My child, I -"

His mouth pressed hungrily onto mine stopping the words I want to tell him. I understood him. It's okay. It's payback time. I heard my clothes rip open as his hands tore them to pieces. My karma. I accepted it... I fully accepted his verdict. I will pay for my crime..

A sigh escaped from my lips as he released me from that kiss and concentrated on my neck. What a nice karma indeed. He went down, down, down. That sigh turned into a moan as he suckled on me. My eyelids closed tighter than ever as I felt that undeniably electrifying sensation rushing through every nerve of my body.

What kind of sentence was it? He did not hurt me at all. I was supposed to suffer. How could he be so forgiving... So generous...

My fingers clutched on his soft, silky hair as he took pleasure tasting me as if I was a special food given to a monster who had been starved for a thousand years. My hands clung to hhis shoulders as his lips captured mine once again. That moment, I fully understood my need to stay alive. Not just to see him.. Not just to say "I'm sorry"... I want to make him happy.. I want to become one with him.. To live for him...for him...

I felt his hand raise me. I bit my lip as I felt him enter me.

Oh, Yue! I have never felt this happy before in my entire life. In him, I have found the freedom to grasp the joy I have never known since I was born. He went inside me again and again... I was fully engulfed by such ecstasy that I begged him not to stop like there's no tomorrow. I know that my death is getting closer but I felt the pleasure of immortality as he thrust into me time and again..

Yue, do you hear me? Hmmm... You are blushing I suppose. I know that I could trust you secrecy with regards to my story. As of now, I cannot see you in the azure heavens outside the clear glass window. But when thw night comes, I'm pretty sure I'd behold your pale face once again. As pale as this smooth skin crawling above my body. Ah, I don't want this moment to end.

I have made my decision. I will not leave him now as I have left him many years ago. I will stay by him till he wishes me to. I will take care of him till my last breath.

Now,Yue, i think it's time to end this conversation. See you.

Feitan

When love strikes someone, not even the coldest monsters can escape.

When love moves, nobody can resist or stop it from penetrating one's heart.

It is involuntarily given, involuntarily felt.

That is the magic of this emotion.

"Greater than what you can feel
More than what you ever dreamed
This is better than your everything"

-from One Love by Acel Bisa

HEHEHE...Hope you appreciate it. Please review. And if some beta readers happen to pass by, please proofread me. I'm not very good at grammar, you know. The theme song for this fic is One Love by Acel Bisa.

TC always.

:-)gyo