I know i haven't written this for a while, and this isn't exactly to-quality writing, but i sort of wrote this because i felt inclined to write it, not because i felt inspired, so, although that's a pretty pathetic excuse, it's the only one i have to offer. Wow, that was a long sentence.

Disclaimer: Animorphs belongs to KA Applegate and Scholastic. Ie, not me.

4. I'll meet you anywhere somewhere that no one can retrace, somewhere where nobody will know our faces.

I flew. Just flew. Endlessly, mindlessly. I only had one thought in my mind. Rachel. Apart from that one singular bit of sanity that I'd managed to conserve, there was nothing. Nothing at all.

It happened every so often, but not usually like this. One day, I'd see something or someone, and whatever it was that I saw would freak me out. It would make me remember with startling clarity that I was like this. I was a hawk. Forever. And, in all honesty, that scared me from time to time. I mean it was hardly like I could compare my life with someone else's. Sure, I could look at one of friends, Jake or Marco, and think, well, look at what they've given up, I should be grateful for what I have. Because, really, I hadn't given up much.

I hadn't given up family or friends. I hadn't given up a future. None of those things had ever existed for me before now. In fact, I'd gained all those things now. Ax was my uncle. It was amazing, I'd felt wonder beyond compare to find that out. Okay, so wonder almost beyond compare. Because, in a way, I had more family, not just Ax. I had Rachel. She was family. Not technically, not in a way that people would ever notice, people besides the other Animorphs that is. But, I knew that one day in the far off future, we would be family. We'd be together. Properly.

But that, of course, was the problem.

Like I said, I'd gained everything: friends, family and future. Future.

The word seemed to whisper in the midday breeze through the treetops far below me. Everything I heard and saw, everything I felt, was changing. Not in the big sense. Not like how a seed will one day change into an enormous tree, not in a big, overwhelming, 'wow' way.

It was the small bits of future that suddenly scared me. Like, say, my future. I was a bird. So, every time I saw a falcon hitch his wings and fall into a dive to reach his prey, I winced internally. Because, inevitably, that falcon would one day die. One day, maybe not for five years, maybe not for ten, but still, one day, that falcon would be too slow to catch his prey. His dive would be messy and loud. His wings patchy with lost feathers. His entire body covered in battle scars from birds who'd stolen his previous meals and homes. And then, one day, he wouldn't exist. He'd die. Just like a bird should.

Just like I should.

The human in me shivered. The bird felt it as an uncomfortable prickle on my skin. It was distracting me from flying. Luckily, though, there wasn't much flying left to do.

--Tobias? Is that you?-- Rachel's thought speak interrupted my thoughts, and quickly I scanned the skies for a bald eagle.

--Yeah, it's me--

My dull mood must've showed in my words.

--Are you okay?-- I considered saying yes. I considered pretending that nothing was bothering me, that I'd just requested a random midday flight with her for no reason. I didn't think she'd believe me, but she would've let it go, I was sure. Rachel was like that; she wouldn't push you to say something that you didn't want to say. She'd just wait for it to come out. But I wanted to say this.

--No, not really.-- I paused, waiting for her to interrupt me. She stayed silent as she finally dropped into my sight from above me, coming to glide a few metres to my left. --But can we talk about this on the ground? You'll have to morph out soon anyway.--

--Sure.-- In unison, we tilted our wings and headed towards the ground. I folded my wings in a little to speed up, and pulled out of my descent in front of Rachel a bit.

-- This way,-- I said. She didn't show any sign of confusion, and adjusted her angle to follow me.

The trees were thick in the area of forest that I chose for us to land in, but I liked it like that. There was hardly any chance that I'd see a bird, for starters. And, if someone came looking for us they'd take a while to find us.

Rachel demorphed quickly, frowning as her human face merged from the thick, hard beak of an eagle. I watched her in silence, wondering whether I was feeling disgusted or awed. Morphing was sometimes like that to watch. Although, other times it was just plain disgusting.

She stretched a bit and sat down on the ground beside the tree that I was perched on. I hoped down a few branches to be closer to her, not that it was really necessary.

"So, what's up?"

--I'm going to die-- I figured that bluntness would get my point across best.

Rachel's eyes widened and she looked up at me with a panicked expression. "What!?"

I ruffled my feathers – a nervous habit – and tried again. --One day, like any other…-- I struggled for a suitable word, but could only find one -- Like any other bird… I'm going to die.--

Now Rachel was frowning, probably angry with me for the worry I'd put her through, not that she'd veer admit it. Another good thing about Rachel – she wasn't big on talking about feelings. Neither was I. In fact, talking about people's feeling made me nervous. Was I the only person who didn't always understand what I was feeling?

"For a second there I though you meant that you had cancer or something. You really scared me!"

I think she was joking. It wasn't funny. -- Well, maybe it will be cancer that does it. Maybe one day I just won't be fast enough and strong enough to beat off the next animal that decides that I look like a tasty snack. I don't know what will do it, but, either way, I'm going to die.--

This time Rachel shrugged. "So? Everyone dies naturally eventually. I'm going to die too if want to put it that way, but you don't hear me freaking people out by bringing them to meet in the middle of the forest about it."

If I'd been human I would've rolled my eyes. Did she not understand how important it was for her to get this? Apparently not.

-- How long does the average human live?-- I shot at her, hoping that she'd know. I sure didn't.

"I don't know. Maybe eighty?"

Good enough. –Exactly. Now, how long does the average bird live?--

"Ten?"

--If we're lucky.--

She didn't seem perturbed. "But you're not an average bird, Tobias. You can morph away injuries and diseases. You'll be healthy for as long as you can morph."

I shook my head, an automatic gesture even though it lost its meaning when a bird did it. – No. This bird, me, I'm still going to die sooner than you are.—

She seemed unconvinced. "Why?"

--I'm aging.—

"No you're not. None of our morphs age. If our morphs aged then the flea or cockroach that we morph would probably be dead by now."

I leapt off my branch and glided to the ground, landing more smoothly than I'd expected a few feet in front of Rachel.

--Yes, morphs don't age. But this isn't a morph is it?—

She shook her head, either not believing me or not wanting to. "No. That can't be right. You're still you. The human you. The body that you're in, it's just a morph."

--Do you really believe that? That this… form… isn't me?—

She looked undecided, her expression torn. She could see what I meant, and she knew I was right. She was still aging wasn't she? Her, Jake, Cassie, Marco, Ax. They were all still growing, turning from kids into adults.

"Ten years?" She repeated, her voice uncharacteristically weak.

I stayed silent. I couldn't tell her the truth. Less was the truth. A lot less than ten years.

A single tear ran down her cheek, startling me. Rachel never cries. Never. I couldn't believe that this, even something as serious as death, would do this to her.

"How soon?" Her hands were covering her face, wiping away the tears, so her voice was muffled.

I didn't answer.

"How soon?" She moved her hands, dropping them back to the ground and fixing her slightly puffy eyes on me.

I was still silent. In all honesty I didn't know. It all depended on the age of the hawk's body. The exact average life span. The hawk's family history. Its susceptibility to diseases. Eventually the war would finish, and I was pretty sure that I'd be able to last until then. The body I was in was still young and fit.

But, after the war, when I was no longer as active. When I no longer morphed away the injuries and the pain. Then it would show.

"How soon!"

I jumped at her voice, demanding angry and closer to me than I'd expected. She'd leant forward, and I could see each individual follicle of her hair. I averted my gaze –staring at anyone this close with hawk vision wasn't very pleasant, even staring at Rachel. It was only because I looked away that I noticed them. I squawked and took flight, trying desperately to pull myself high enough to attack the two men pointing their guns at Rachel and me.

Noticing my reaction, Rachel spun around, freezing when she saw the men.

"Don't move!" One of them raised his gun a bit, aiming properly at Rachel.

Her eyes were wide with fright as she slowly raised her hands. I didn't see how she could be any sort of threat to them. She was in a leotard and her feet were bare. She could hardly pull a grenade out of her pocket - she didn't have any pockets.

"What are you doing here?"

Here? What was so bad about being here? I tried to gain some more altitude without being noticed by them. Trying to be subtle about it, I moved closer to the tree that they were under.

"I-" Clearly Rachel had no more idea of what this place was than I did. "I didn't know that I wasn't allowed here."

"There are sign on all the tracks, and none of the major ones lead to here. Unless you weren't hiking."

Quite frankly, I didn't see how they could've thought that she was hiking judging by her clothes, but I guess there was no other logical way for her to get here. Or at least no way that they knew of. I struggled the get above the guy who was speaking.

"Yes, I was hiking. But I got lost last night."

I couldn't keep hovering above the man, but, with the both men still pointing their weapons at Rachel, I couldn't attack. Worried, I backed off a little, perching as quietly as I could on a branch. I was still right above the men's heads. If they showed one sign of shooting I'd be on them in a second.

The man looked doubtful. "Lost?"

"Yes!" Rachel nodded quickly, improvising. "I, um, I was going to the bathroom, only I couldn't find my way back to the group. I waited for a while but no one came to get me. So I thought that I should keep on going to look for them. I think I went the wrong way though."

If the situation weren't so serious I would've laughed. Luckily, these men seemed likely to judge Rachel on her blonde hair and beauty instead of her tough eyes and the utter confidence that seemed like an aura around her.

"Well, you wandered the wrong way. This is a restricted military zone. Only certain personnel are allowed here. You are in danger just being so close to the shooting range."

The words made my tiny little hawk-heart beat even faster. Shooting range? Why hadn't we seen it? I cursed myself for being so caught up in my own worries. Look how close I'd been to putting both em and Rachel in danger!

"Oh." Rachel, though, looked unconcerned. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

The man lowered his gun a little, but the second man beside him kept his grip steady. The first man spoke again. "Who were you talking to?"

I panicked again. How was she going to answer that?

"I though I heard the people who I'd been hiking with. I was calling out to them."

"There was no one here besides us, and we weren't talking." The second man seemed a bit sharper than his comrade, and that wasn't a good thing.

"I could swear I herd something…"

The first man turned to the second. "She could have been hearing the gun-shots from the range," he suggested.

The second man mumbled something incoherent, but he sounded unconvinced.

I decided that this was m opportunity.

-- Morph!— I hissed to Rachel, watching her in the corner of my eyes to check that she did as I said. I almost sighed in relief as she obeyed – a light, feathered pattern began to appear across her skin.

The second man noticed and looked up to steady his gun. That was when I took my chance to strike.

Talons forward, I screamed as I descended on the unsuspecting men, raking their hands and making them drop their guns.

"Aah! It's a freaking bird!"

I felt insulted. I wasn't just any bird.

Shooting past, it turned to come back at them. One of them had managed to keep a hold of their gun though, and, before I cold hurt him again, he shot at me. Bullet whizzed past, scaring me but leaving me unharmed. The rifle that he had wasn't designed for close combat and his shots were wonky anyway. Behind the men, Rachel had almost finished morphing.

--Fly! Get into the air or into the trees, don't let them see you!— As I swept past the men again I tried to make the one with the rifle drop it, but I didn't have the speed of height that I'd had before, and my raking talons were virtually useless. I didn't want to do any real damage anyway.

Rachel spread her large wings and pumped them hard, trying to get her still shrinking body into the air. I was straining for altitude too, but, being smaller, was progressing more than she was.

By the time the men had turned, Rachel and me were both above their head, and they didn't consider look up as they began frantically searching for the girl who'd been with them only a minute of two ago.

Rachle was laughing as we pulled up above the treetops and caught a light breeze sweeping us homeward.

--Haha! That was great! Who knew that there was a military place here?—

I, on the other hand, was slightly more panicked. --That was much too close. You did realise that they both had guns didn't you?—

She laughed again. –They weren't going to shoot.—

--They could've though—I pointed out.

--But they didn't.—she clarified. –You're starting to sound like Jake. Getting so worried about such a little thing.—

If I'd been human I would've rolled my eyes. Instead, being a hawk, I looked down at the patchwork of forest below us. –Hey, Rachel?—

--Yeah?—

--Can you even pick out the bit of forest we were in a second ago?—

She looked down too, her bald-eagle's eyes examining the thick woods. Then she laughed. --No. So we'll never be able to go back there and apologise to those men!—

She still thought it all was a joke. I, for one, was glad to get out of it unharmed.

--Rachel?—

--Yeah, Tobias?—

--You're insane, you know.—

Still laughing madly, she swept into a dive and rocketed down, flaring her wings just above the trees and then pushing herself all the way back up to where I was. --Yeah. I know.—

I laughed with her now. Maybe she was right in the first place. What was I doing, worrying about death? In the end it had been much more fun to be so close to death and get out of it. Maybe it was better like that, not to live always fearing death, but to live and enjoy it. I guess I already knew that, but now the words had some clarity in them, some truth.

I laughed again.

--We should do that more often.— I suggested.

--Do what?—

--Get lost in the middle of the woods. Almost get shot. Then get out of it only to find that we have no idea where we were.—

Rachel was silent for a moment, thinking. Finally, she answered, --Yeah, we should.—She stayed silent, but I could feel the punch line coming. --And you said I was insane?--

Urgh, i just couldn't link that to the title properly.