It's Thursday. Today is the day I give the speech. I hate giving speeches, I hate it when people get bored and stare randomly, or I hate it when they love your speech, they ask stupid questions that aren't supposed to have answers.

So I am sitting in this cramped metal desk tapping my pencil. I look at the teacher; he is one of those modern teachers, fresh from college. I don't see how they want to come back, I don't. I mean in high school no one is nice, you either make it out, or you don't. Why come back to live through it again? I won't.

I look over to see Collin, my best friend dozing off. I laugh, getting the attention of some people in my class. They all look at me, I slighting point to Collin, they understand and smile also.

Collin. He is a good kid, he is also a senior here, and he has been my best friend since my mom died, when I was twelve. Some people think we will date, I doubt it. He is more of my brother then a lover, and he knows it, trust me.

The bell rings and I almost fall out of my chair. "Hey take it easy!" Collin laughs.

I grab the rest of my things and walk out the door with him. "Shut up!" I give him a light push. "You are the one who fell asleep."

"Yea I know."

I grab my note cards from my locker and put my English book in. Collin is staring at me, his brown eyes are piercing holes right through my head. "What?" I ask.

"Are you really going to read it?"

I slam my locker, "Why not?" I ask him. "I think it will be a good thing, don't you?"

"They will find you," he tells me. "This speech will make some random blog. It's going to show up." Yeah under what, the most screwed up kid walking the earth?

"Let them find me," I sigh. "Anyways by then I'll be 18, then what?"

We stop at his locker, but he is still jabbering away. "It's just," Collin looks at me. He runs his hand through his blonde hair. "Maybe, we should skip," he offers me.

"Collin." I look around at the hall, it's full of people. "Look at them. They actually let me in…"

"Lynnie," he stops me by using my nickname. "They will find you. They will take you."

"Then I guess this will be my goodbye speech," I joke.

He doesn't find it funny as he glares at me. "Ashlyn, please don't do this."

We walk into the classroom, I shrug like its not big deal, but we both know that it is. I take my seat in front of Collin. I turn and face him, "They won't find me."

"And if they do?" He whispers as class starts.

"Class," Mrs. Callmena starts. "Today we are giving our speeches. You were supposed to explain yourself in this paper. You are seniors and we think that this is a strong thing for you to do, in alphabetical order starting with Jamie Ace."

That's great I get to sit through 23 boring speeches, mine will be the last one. Yipee! My will be the one that will be remembered. My speech pretty much highlights the parts of my life that were good, the parts with my brothers, Lucas and Nathan.

Collin kicks my desk when its my turn to go. I turn around and he smiles at me, I smile back with all the strength I have.

When I walk to the podium, I almost feel a wave of relief come over me. I set my note cards down and make sure they are in order; I look at everyone in my class. They all have high hopes for me, but I am about to kill them with this secret; and this is where it begins.

"When I was 12, my mother passed away from Breast Cancer and ever since then I have been fighting for my life. A lot happened that year, almost to much. That year I met my father, I met my brothers, and for the first time in my life I thought I found happiness. You all know my brothers, they are Lucas and Nathan Scott. You see them on TV all the time, but they have their problems, I am one of them.

You keep hearing about the little Scott who ran away, well here I am. I am going to school, I have a job, I have friends, and I just don't have my family.

When I found out I had to write this report I thought it would be simple, write down a few lies and call it a day. Lucky for you, I am going to tell you the truth.

My mom died when I was twelve, my dad didn't want me at birth, my brothers are my legal guardians, and everyone in my hometown either thinks I am dead or fighting for my life. You heard my life story, now what are you going to do with it?" I look at every person in my class, some don't know what to think, and some are shocked. Lucky for me the bell rings; I turn on my heel and head out the door into the rush.

After school I wait next Collins truck, normally he beats me hear, but today I beat him. So I wait, I am leaning against it when one of my teammates come up to me.

"Hey Baby Girl," He says. The whole team calls me that, I am the only girl on the basketball team, and they all think that they have to protect me.

"Hey," I squint at him.

"I heard about your speech," he tells me.

"What about it?" I ask him.

"Ash, what the hell where you thinking?" he asks back.

"I had to give a speech, Jon."

He puts both hands on my shoulders, "Why did you tell the truth?"

I can't even look at him, he sounds worried. "I thought it was time."

Jon shakes his head, "A secret that big shouldn't be told."

I nod understanding his point of view. "I know."

He kisses my forehead, "See you tonight at the game."

"I'll be there."

Finally Collin comes, he doesn't say anything. He unlocks the door and I get in, when we are clear off the parking lot, he looks at me. "Why did you do it?" he asks.

"Listen Collin, I know you don't understand, but I had to do it."

"Well can you tell me? I over heard the principle talking, they are coming."

I sink into the seat; I think this is what I wanted. "When I left Tree Hill, I said there was no looking back, but some things you can't let go of. I hid, and you understood that, then I came here, back where we grew up together." Collin nodded and listened. "When I saw Nathan on television the other night I cried, he still hadn't given up after 3 years. They feel guilt, that's what I feel," I tell him sharply, before I break down. "I want that life back; I think that's why I did it. I read that speech to prove to myself that I was wrong. I was wrong to leave Tree Hill. I love my life here, but right now I think it's too late."

As we stop at a stop light we see a limo drive past, Collin looks over at me, " Me too."

So I think I got what I wanted, but I don't know. I wanted them to find me, I want them in my life, but maybe I am not ready to move again. I honestly don't think I will ever be able to go back to Tree Hill.

I am sitting in Collin's room on his bed, while he is looking up stuff on the computer. "I never really told you why I left," I mention.

He nods. "I know." His face is to the computer, but I know he is pissed off right now.

"I have HCM," I mumble. I hear him gasp, but I look at the carpet. "I have had over 8 surgeries regarding it. It was no big deal at first, just go in hold Luc's hand, then I would wake up holding Nathan's hand." I start fidgeting with the blankets, I never tell this story because its to hard, and here I am on Collin's bed, telling him. "Then it slowly got more complicated, they said no more basketball, try not to run as much. They were slowly taking my life, Collin. That's why I ran." Collin came over and sat by me, "They were slowly taking my life, and …" Its getting harder to breathe. "They let them," I whisper.

Collin rubs my back soothingly. "That's not a reason to leave," he tells me.

I shake my head, " 2 days before my open heart surgery, I was at the park with Kendyal. A black mustang pulls up, and Dan comes out." I look at Collin and stare him down, "That man is why I left, I couldn't be there with him."

"I just don't get it!" He exclaims frustrated

"I am sorry to here that," I say a little to harsh. WE never used to be this way, I never used to have to tell him, he just knew. A lot of things have changed since that night, I think I lost my way to many times. I want Collin to understand, I really do. I want my brothers to understand, but right now I need Collin to understand. " I am sorry." I hug Collin for the first time today. I burry me head into his shoulder, and I let my tears fall.

"Hey," he soothes. "Don't cry. Its going to be okay."

I shake my head, "I don't think it is. I really messed up this time."

"We all mess up."

I wipe my tears and stand up, I grab my duffel bag and swing it over my shoulder, "Yea, but I fucked up! We don't all do that, do we?" I head towards his private exit. "Thanks Collin, I'll see you at the game right?"

"Low Post all night Baby," he brags. I laugh and leave his room.

As I leave Collin's house, I watch a man play with his daughter. The way he cared for her, the way he carefully picked her up and swirled her around his head. His daughter was so happy, they were in their own world. I used to get that feeling, before my mom died.

I hear my phone ringing from my back pocket. Its Jon, he set his ring to 'Cotton Eyed Joe'.

"Hey Jon," I answer.

"How are you?"

"Good and yourself," I ask him acting cool.

"Don't give me that fake shit. Where are you?"

"I just left Collin's…"

"Don't move, I'll be there I 15 seconds."

"Uh okay…"

"Start counting."

Jon has never called me and acted that way, but I guess I never told my secret until today.

At 13 seconds, Jon comes speeding around the corner in his father's ford. He comes to a screeching halt in front of me. Who knew Jon actually could drive? He motioned for me to get in, so I slowly walked over and opened the door. Before my whole body was in, we were speeding down the road.

"Jon!" I scream.

"Hurry up," he said strictly.

"Can I ask why you are acting like a moron?" I snap.

"I am saving your sorry ass," he barks.

"I am not sorry yet," I tell him.

"They are here Ash, they aren't leaving without you," he tells me.

"You don't get to say that." I want to scream at just grip something so hard that my fingers turn white. I want to leave again.

"Dan Scott is here, I saw him." Jon pulls up outside if his house; he gets out and opens my door for me. "Now what?'

And for once I don't think I have the answer.