Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Sg1 or any of it's characters, I post this strictly for entertainment purposes.

Chapter 8

Daniel, Sam, Cameron and Carolyn sat at the dining room table at the Mitchell's residence. Conversation had been brief, and friendly during dinner, but no one really was in the mood for the light-hearted and good-natured bantering that usually came with a meeting of the old friends. After dessert, Carolyn served coffee and inevitably, the topic of conversation focused on their situation with the IOA and Daniel's reassignment back to the SGC.

"I can't believe they think that the Earth is really ready for this kind of revelation." Daniel began. "I shudder to think of what will happen when the general public learns the truth, it's going to be chaos."

"Yeah, but what can we do about it? The IOA has almost totally autonomy over the Stargate program now. I'm lucky I haven't been replaced with a civilian yet. I'm not sure that anything I could say or any one in the US military for that fact could say to sway their opinion." Cam added.

"I know, but it's got to be worth a shot." Daniel went off. "We just need to find a way to convince them that revealing the stargate right now may cause more harm than it's worth."

"Perhaps, but what if now is as good a time as any to bring the Stargate out in the open." Sam began, at the looks she was given by Daniel and Cam she raised her hands in defense. "I'm just trying to play devil's advocate here, but when would there ever be a good time for full disclosure? It's pretty much a given that the nations of our planet aren't ever going to see eye to eye, what if finding out that there is life out there besides our own here on Earth brings the people of the world together instead of tearing them apart."

"As much as I'd like to believe that, Sam. I just don't see that happening." Everyone was quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Daniel stared into his coffee cup, he was still reeling from the day's events. Yes, he was worried about the fact that the IOA was thinking about revealing the Stargate, but mostly he felt a hole in his stomach knowing that he wouldn't be going back to Atlantis with Sam. It had been his home for a long time. But, it had also become his hideout. Over the past year, he had learned from Sam how to move on again, to find some measure of happiness in his life that he had before Vala disappeared. He owed her for bringing him out of his comfort zone, for making him share his feelings with her, whether he wanted to or not. It had helped after all, even though it had been painful at times, he truly felt like he was getting closer to that place where he felt normal again, where he didn't have to keep running away.

Most of all, he was going to miss Sam. Just having her around everyday, even if it was just for coffee, was something that he had to admit, he had grown to look forward to more than anything else. They were kindred spirits and even if she might not love him back, he loved her. He had admitted as much to himself a couple of months ago, but Sam was still grieving for Jack and he'd never want a make any sort of move unless she was completely ready. He had decided that he would wait forever if need be. After all ,he had spent more than a decade hiding his heart away. He hated the idea of being back here on Earth; to be lonely once again.

When they were finished with their coffees, Daniel drove back to base with Sam in silence, both of them absorbing the fact that she would be leaving in the morning while he would be left behind.

"I'm not ready to go back." Sam said, breaking the quiet.

"Okay." Daniel said, not really wanting to go back to the mountain either. "Did you have someplace in mind you wanted to go?"

"Actually, I did have a place in mind, if you don't mind taking me."

Sam told Daniel where she wanted to go and he drove them to the destination. He parked along the side of the road and got out, opening the car door for Sam. He held his hand out for her and she took it, allowing him to lead the way.

They made their way past rows and rows of headstones until they came upon the one they were looking for.

"I'll just wait back here, so you can have some time alone." Daniel offered.

"No, stay with me." She gripped his hand tighter when he tried to pull away. "I figured you would want to visit him too."

"Okay." He relented and walked with her to Jack's headstone. Daniel had never been to see Jack's grave, it had seemed too permanent for him. In fact, that's why he had never purchased a tombstone for Vala, if he had, it would have been like giving up on her, that by not memorializing her, she might come back again. However, he was learning to let go of that fantasy. She was gone and had been gone for a very long time and it was time for him to let her go. Looking at Jack's grave, he realized he needed to let go of him too. For some time now, whenever he thought about Sam in a way that went deeper than friendship, he felt guilty. As though he were betraying his best friend. However, he knew that Jack would have wanted Sam to keep living and be happy.

Daniel looked to Sam who was staring at the headstone, reading the words over and over. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as tears sprang to her eyes and fell silently down her cheeks. He just held her as the minutes passed while they stood there in quiet contemplation.

"God, I miss him." She finally spoke after the tears had stopped.

"I know. Me too."

"He was such a pain in the ass sometimes, but he sure was fun." She added with a grin and Daniel couldn't help but smile at his friends description.

"That he was." He paused before speaking up again and turning to her. "He'd be proud of you, you know. The way you've picked yourself up, going back to work and being in Atlantis. He was always proud of you, even before you two started dating and He loved you more than anything." Sam nodded, sadly looking up into Daniel's eyes, grateful for his sincere words of comfort.

They remained for some time, sharing memories until the sun sank and darkness settled upon them .

OOOOO

Sam stared at the ceiling, sleep was not her friend tonight. She tossed and turned, her mind a whirlwind of conflict. Visiting Jack's grave had been a reminder to her of all of the good thing she had with him and it also reminded her of the loss she felt with him gone. She had been grateful for Daniel being there and she wondered how she was going to cope with going back to Atlantis without him. Again, that dueling in her mind began as she tried to keep her feelings for Daniel at bay. Part of her wanting to love him and they other part of her telling her how wrong it was to have such feelings for her best friend and for her husband's best friend. Oh, why couldn't anything in her life be easy?

Deciding that she wasn't going to get some sleep anytime soon, she got up and dressed, hoping she could find something to distract her. In the corridor, she paused by Daniel's door. She wanted to knock, to see if he was still awake too, but she resisted the temptation and instead headed for the commissary. Maybe some jell-o would be just the thing she needed.

Rounding the corner into the dining facility, she noticed that it was empty save for one man sitting by himself in the corner, sipping coffee and staring off into space. Sam immediately went to join him.

"Penny for your thoughts." She said as she sat next to him, snapping him out of his solitary musings.

"Oh, hi, Sam. I figured you would be asleep."

"Daniel, there really wasn't any way I was going to be able to sleep tonight."

"Yeah, me either. Might as well join me. Coffee's cold, but okay if you heat it in the microwave."

"That's okay. I was just hoping they had some jell-o left."

"I think, they do, but it's the red kind."

"I guess I'll live without the blue this time." She made to get up, but Daniel stopped her.

"No, sit, I'll get it for you." He left the table and pulled out a bowl of Jell-o and came back, placing it before her.

"What? No whipped cream?" She joked playfully.

"Oh, hold on. I'll get you some." He went back and looked behind the counter, not seeing any from that side he made to go into the kitchen.

"Daniel, don't. I was just kidding."

"Oh, no you don't. You want whipped cream, I'll get you whipped cream."

"I don't want you getting in trouble for going into the kitchen, the cooks will have your head if they catch you in there."

"Don't worry, I'll be stealthy." He disappeared into the kitchen, Sam winced as she heard raised voices, obviously the kitchen staff didn't think to kindly of non-kitchen staff entering their domain while they toiled to prepare the next meal. She could hear Daniel's muffled voice as he tried to appease them and she giggled when he reemerged a minute later, a can of whipped topping in his hand.

"See, you just have to know how to talk to them." He shook the can and pointed the nozzle to her jell-o. The whipped cream sprayed out in all directions, completely missing the targeted Jell-o, flying onto Daniel and Sam's clothing instead.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, his face reddening immediately. Sam threw her head back and laughed.

"Sorry." He grabbed a napkin and wiped the sticky mess off of Sam's shirt and then his own. "Damn, that was pretty smooth of me huh?" He laughed. Sam too was holding her side, enjoying seeing Daniel in such a state. It was rare that they could laugh together and it felt good. Suddenly, knowing that this was going to be their last night together hit home and her mirth turned to sadness. Her face fell and tears began to spring to he eyes.

"Sam, what's wrong?" He asked, putting the can down and sitting beside her and holding her hand.

"God, Daniel. I don't want to go back without you."

"I wish I could go with you, too. But, you know as much as I do, that isn't going to happen."

"I know, I can't help but keep thinking that I could resign as commander of Atlantis and stay here too."

"Sam, no. Why would you want to do that? They need you over there." Sam looked pleadingly into Daniel's eyes.

"I don't want to do this alone anymore, Daniel. I'm tired of being alone. At least when you're there things aren't as bad, but I don't know if I can do this by myself."

"You can, Sam. You never really needed me. Heck, you've helped me more that I can ever repay you. I know you're going to be fine, because you are...one of the strongest and smartest persons I've ever known." He was smiling at her, but she could see the sadness in his eyes too. He reached for a paper napkin from the holder and wiped the tears from her face. His hands lingering on the side of her face, staring deep into her azure eyes. Sam felt electric, it had been a long time since she had been touched in such a way, she loved it, yet at the same time she was scared by the emotions she had been trying to deny. He leaned in, his lips nearing hers. Her heart beat faster, she wanted this, yet at the same time she had to get out of there now.

"Sam!" Daniel called out as she dashed for the door, but he was faster than her and grabbed her hand before she could leave. "Don't go." He pleaded.

"I can't do this Daniel."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know what came over me."

"Don't...just let me go." How could she love him? She couldn't. She longed to be near him and to stay with him, but at the same time she couldn't stand him looking at her with such concern and love in his eyes. She couldn't betray Jack's memory in such a way. Without looking behind, she left Daniel standing alone in the commissary, calling her name.