Title: Let Love In
Disclaimer: I wish I owned the boys! But mostly just Ashlyn and a few other future characters are mine.
Pairing: Nathan and Haley, Lucas and Brooke
Summary: They had a lot more in common than they wanted: Last name, a father, and the love of the game. What happens when one sibling runs away for the game, one gives it up, and one only knows the game? "So what if we found it, lost it and now want it more than ever?"
Nathan, Lucas, Jon and Collin all sat in the hospital's waiting room. Lucas couldn't believe this was happening, Nathan was a wreck, he was still wearing his blood stained shirt.
Nathan had held Ashlyn until the paramedics came; they had to rip him off of her. Nathan remembered the last time he held her fragile body in his arms, 2 years ago at her best friends funeral.
Flashback:
Ashlyn hadn't said a word all week, she was in a trance, she was sick, and Nathan couldn't let her do this alone.
Megan Lush was hit by a drunk driver last Friday, she died at impact.
Logan Street was hit head on by a drunk driver last Friday eve. Paramedics were able to get him to the hospital but died shortly after.
Ashlyn Scott was hit by a drunk driver last Friday, after being in a coma for two days she is making a slow recovery.
Ashlyn slammed the newspapers down on the counter, she was beyond pissed. She was furious at God and at herself. Nathan looked at his sister, she was staring at the paper, the front page, the article. He walked over to Ashlyn; he slowly picked up the newspaper and threw it away in the Trash.
"I was reading that." Ashlyn started pacing through the trash. Nathan took a frim grip on her shoulders, he slowly pulled her away. Ashlyn tried breaking from his grasp, "I need that!" She shouted.
"No." Nathan pulled her further away. "Ashlyn." He tried calming her down, but she was a determined to get that paper. "Ashlyn! You're going to hurt yourself!"
Ashlyn was crying, "I need that." Ashlyn turned in to Nathan and hit him, "Get off of me!" Nathan still had not let go of her. "Please," she cried.
Nathan shook his head, "Ashlyn you are hurting yourself."
"No," she cried. "No I am not! Now let me have the god damn paper." Ashlyn gave one last try, put Nathan had wrapped a hand around her stomach.
Finally he picked her up, this time she didn't move. Nathan took her up the long steps and laid her down on his bed. He tucked her hair out of her face. He gently kissed her forehead, "I hate seeing you like this."
"Why?" she asked. "I was right there. Right next to Logan, holding his hand. Why not me? Huh Nate?" She wiped the fallen tears from her face. "Why didn't I die? How am I supposed to go to their funerals? How? It should have been me!" She cried.
Nathan shook his head. "Lyn, sweetie," He took her hand in his. "It wasn't supposed to be you." Nathan got on the other side off the bed, he took Ashlyn in his arms and slowly rocked her back and forth. "It wasn't supposed to be you." He kept whispering soothing words in her ear. "We need you baby," he told her. Nathan had a death grip on her, "I couldn't even imagine my life without you."
Nathan had never thought about that day after it had happened, but right now in the Gradver Hospital Waiting room all Nathan could do was think. "We need you baby," he whispered to anyone who was listening, "we need you."
She really did change his life; I mean he stepped up to the plate. He was a brother, a father and he was her best friend, yeah, he had stepped up. Nathan had found himself and he let Ashlyn find herself as well.
Jon sat next to Collin, how had he gotten himself in this mess? Actually he had always been there; it was almost like she never even left him. Jon had to be a good man; he had to do what Ashlyn's mom would have done.
Jon stood up and dragged his feet over to Nathan and Lucas, they both looked him in the eyes. Jon took a deep breathe, "Hi," he stuck out his hand. "My name is Jon Street." Lucas looked at his hand and finally he shook it, Nathan did the same. "I've known your sister since day one. Her mother was my mom's best friend. When we were younger that girl scared the shit out of me." They all laughed together. "She scared me, because she was good, she wasn't afraid to tell someone how it is. That scared me a lot, then one day she used it on me, that was the day she left for Tree Hill. She looked me in the eyes and said 'I loved her, I loved this place, I loved basketball, and I used to love this life. Its time for me to go' she was my best friend telling me that she was leaving me. It hurt like hell."
Jon looked them in the eyes. "I was selfish when she moved back. I had your number, I couldn't call you though, and for that I am sorry. But the day her mom left, my mom drifted away, then my best friend moved away. So the day she came back, I felt like her mom never left. I felt like I never even lost so much." Once again Jon stuck out his hand, "So, my name is Jon Street. I have been your sister's best friend forever. I am 2 years older,but she was in my brother's grade, she knows what she did was wrong and I think that she ready to come home." He started to ramble. "You probably already know this, but Ashlyn hates that she left you."
Lucas shook his hand again. "I'm Lucas, but you knew that."
Nathan smiled at Jon. "You're a good guy and so was your brother."
Jon nodded in agreement, "Yeah we've hit a couple rough patches."
Nathan pointed to Collin in the opposite corner, "Will he come over?"
Jon shook his head, "No. He says he's fine, but he's not. Ash, was the only person who ever got that." Jon smiled at Collin.
"I bet."
Nathan walked into the dark chapel, he sat down in a pew and folded his hands together. He watched to figures come and go…
When your parents see you for the first time, they have these huge smiles. The smiles that you only get when you really do something right; my dad never has given anyone that moment, that simple satisfaction. Not once.
I want to give someone that moment, I want to tell some innocent child that they are amazing, I want to sing them to sleep every night, I want to hold them as they cry, I want to promise them the moon. I wanted to feel what it was like to be a parent for a long time, I wanted to give some little girl the world, then when I 18 I did.
I gave my sister the world, she wanted it, and she got it.
God, this is where I ask you to bend over backwards. Protect her from fear, protect when she is on that operating table. Please just look down at me, I am in a chapel, I am crying, and I am praying. You probably should take a picture, because if I am lucky I will never have to do this again.
Ashlyn POV
I am going to be fine. Wipe those tears from your check, unfold your hands and get the hell out of a chapel. Nathan I know you can't see me, but I am right above you, watching pray. I can tell you are kind of nervous.
The doctor in going to come out in 10 minutes looking for you. He is going to tell some information, its going to hurt. You might break down, but that's why you have Lucas and that's why Lucas has you. I know its going to hurt, because it hurt me.
Nathan Scott watched as a doctor in bloody blue scrubs walked towards him as he sat in the waiting room.
"Ashlyn Scott?" The doctor questioned carefully.
Nathan and Lucas nodded. "Lucas Scott. This is my brother Nathan." Nathan stood there in a daze, all he wanted to hear, was that his baby was fine.
"You boys may want to take a seat for this one." When neither of the boys moved from their standing positions, the doctor began. "Lets start with, my name is Doctor Tanger, and I operated on your sister. There was a lot of damage done to her lungs, which when she arrived had already collapsed. My team has fixed that. From her lung she has received a few broken ribs, but otherwise that area is going to make a good recovery." The doctor took out a piece of paper. "It says right here that your sister has HCM, from the impact and I imagine the shock of getting hit, your sister went into Cardiac Arrest. At this moment we are doing everything in our power to keep her alive. We had lost her for a moment when we were in there. We have the best machines in the state working along with her. Our nursing staff is in there at this moment," The doctor concluded.
Lucas ran his fingers over hem of his shirt. He was trying his hardest not to break down, not in front of all these strangers in the waiting room.
"Is she sleeping?" Nathan asked softly. "Or is she in a coma?"
"Your sister has slipped into a coma." Nathan started to crumble as he sat down. "I am so very sorry."
Lucas tried to smile through his shaking body. "What is her room number?"
"Room 233."The doctor smiled. "Don't loose faith, go visit and talk to her. We find that patients wake up sooner than later, when their family talks to them."
Lucas stuck out his hand. "Thank you, for everything."
"Remember don't give up, stay strong. And I will be in touch."
Nathan drug his feet as he opened the door to room 233. The sun was peaking through the windows, as he walked further into the room, he saw her. The sun danced over her porcelain skin, he walked closer to her body. She looked like she was in pain, her stitches, her black bruises, her casts, her broken smile.
Nathan pulled the covers up just above her waist line. "I heard through the grape vine that you are playing basketball without your meds." Nathan tried to be sarcastic but the tears were on the verge of falling.
Nathan let out a little chuckle. "Everyone thought we were in way over our heads, when we agreed to take you. My mom thought that I was going to kill you in the first week, and Haley, oh boy! She got me a thousand books on how to be a parent. They all thought that Lucas and I couldn't do it, and right now I think they were right… I don't think that I am strong enough to be a parent." Nathan sat there in silence. "You were my girl. My everything."
Why did this have to happen to her? His baby girl? His little once of hope that God just gave back, then so suddenly ripped it away, Nathan didn't understand this at all.
It was so quiet in the room that you could hear Nathan's tear drops hitting his hand which was tightly clamped over Ashlyn's.
"You know," He cried. "In all those damn books, not one told me how to say I love you. Not one. So this is probably the best that I can do." Nathan kissed Ashlyn's forehead. "I love you." Nathan slowly backed out of the room.
It was Lucas' turn.
"Hey Baby," Lucas said. He sat down in the big blue chair that was right next to her bed.
Lucas watched the machines, as the slow beat of her heart became louder and louder. Lucas couldn't handle it, he broke down. The doctor's voice was ringing through his head, "Stay Strong." How could any man in their right mind not come in here and break down. The stitches outlined her forehead and the staples went behind her ears and over her skull. The bruises were covering her arms, not just little dots here and there; her whole right arm was black and blue. Her stomach was huge, from what it looks like a massive cut, they must have wrapped it. He'd give anything, sell his soul to the devil, anything, he'd give anything to switch places with her.
"Its me, Lucas. Your… big brother. Today I don't want to be your dad, I don't want to be your hero, and I don't want to be your enemy. I want to be your brother, your best friend. Do you remember those days; the ones before all of this medical stuff, before all the complications." Lucas stroked the hair out of her face as he talked. "I remember your simple smile that you would give off at any moment; it was your way of saying 'I love you'." Lucas smiled, just remembering hers.
The tears stung his eyes and threatened to fall. Lucas' lips were trembling as he attempted to smile again. "So call me crazy, but I have some questions. I know you can't answer them, but maybe if I find the strength to ask… I'll find the simple faith that you gave me." Lucas had lost his faith 2 years ago when his sister ran away. He had lost to many things, but his faith was completely ripped away.
Lucas' head fell into his hands as he sobbed. Not once in Lucas Scott's 25 years, he has never cried this hard. He has let himself go.
"Wow. I am like a little school girl, bawling my eyes out." Lucas confessed laughing. He ran his fingers over her hospital band. "Ashlyn R. Scott." He read out loud. He stood up and fixed his clothing from sitting down. "Scott," He said. "That's what you are. Its who you are. We are fighters." He bent over and kissed her forehead. "I am going to give you my faith, because I think you might need this more than I do."
Lucas smiled and stepped back, "Oh and by the way, I love you."
Lucas and Nathan were it Ashlyn's room. They sat their waiting, praying and hoping.
Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That is leading me to the place where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You are everything
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Lucas watched as a nurse changed the bandage around Ashlyn's gash right through the stomach. She was turned on her side and her ass was facing him. The nurse was showing Nathan, who was on the other side, the cut. Lucas was concerned about the marking above her waist . So he asked.
"Ma' am, what is the marking right there?" He asked pointing.
"Oh!" She cried. "That's a tattoo. Not from us though."
"What!" Both boys shouted.
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart and you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Nathan came over next to Lucas
Lucas read it. "If you're a bird, I am a bird."
"3, 13, 23," Nathan echoed.
Would you take me deeper now
'cause you're all I want
You are all I need
You are everything, everything.
If you were to take on the world with one hand, you'd go down without a fight. If you were to take on a bear with one hand, you'd die. If you were to take on a human with one hand, you'd better have one hell of a right hook. There is a poem that is sometimes read at funerals that goes: Twso is better than one. For if one is down, you will always have the other to pick you up.
Lucas looked to Nathan, "And we thought she was all alone, but god dammit she never lost us."