Sorry a million times over for the long wait. I finally got everything fixed with my computer, my parents got me a new one, so I was to busy transferring my folders to realize that its been almost a month since I had updated. I hope this chapter I as good as I imagined it to be, because it really has taken over my life lately, along with my other story Half Life, which you all should check out. Okay enough with my rambling. Just R&R!!!

And I'd give up forever to touch you

´Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closets to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I cant taste in this moment

And all I can breath is your life

And sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me

´Cause I don´t think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moments of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

And you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don´t want the world to see me

´Cause I don´t think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

Ashlyn's Point Of View

You know you'd think that I'd give it all up; I'd do it over again, just so I wouldn't be here in this room today. But I wouldn't. Not because I am selfish, but because I am not selfish. See in this world there is cynicism, realism, but everyday I chose optimism. My brothers taught me that, never give up, go until you've got nothing, and always, always have faith. Lucas was a fine example on never giving up, and I admire his strength, when everything was taken away, he still had something, or maybe he always had someone. Nathan, man, he was just the good guy, the one who didn't care, but one day he threw the old him away, he stepped up into the brand new world gave it everything he had. Now look at them… still striving for excellence.

This whole thing still confuses the hell out of me. Why would Dan support my mom, when my mom needed nothing, she had a strong business, we took care of my aunt even, we were living well. Call me weird but I know, I just know, we were not living off Dan, we were not. Sometimes I wondered where my clothes or my pretty dresses came from, but I never thought that my mom would have any contact with Dan. The money was not from him, and I can promise that, my mother would never lie, not about Dan Scott anyway.

Lucas' Point Of View

It was pouring outside, so hard that you couldn't turn on the windshield wipers on fast enough to see. It was kind of chilly, and the rain made everything so cold. The rain smelt so sweet like the dew in the morning. It was November in Tree Hill, but this time, it was different, it wasn't like the previous years. I had a job, I had a family… I had Ashlyn.

She was mad the day we found out she couldn't play basketball anymore, she didn't cry in the doctors office, she didn't cry on the way home, as a matter of fact I don't think she cried until she walked into the gym that night.

She walked in and sat down on the bleachers, she looked around for a moment, then I think that's when she figured it was over, that's when I heard her sobbing. I couldn't say or do anything to make it better, I wanted to hold her, but truth is she didn't know I followed her. So I watched and I felt so helpless.

When she got home, I didn't even hint that I was there watching her cry. She sat down on the couch next to me; she took the popcorn off my lap and shoved some in her mouth. I asked where she was and she said at a cemetery. I didn't call her on her lie, I just nodded. Then she said something that surprised me, she said that she sorry. Her exact words, "Luc, call Nate, he said he wanted to get back at Dan. Let's do it. Okay?" I thought she was kidding and then she said it.

"We need to do this, actually I need this. He gave me this disease, not HCM, but this cold heart thing and I only feel it towards him, most days I overcome this feeling, but tonight I can't." She kissed me on my cheek. "Sorry Lucas, I have become a monster."

I went along that night, actually I drove. We picked up Nathan, lied to Brooke and lied to Haley. But we did it. Maybe, actually, I knew it was wrong, but she had that look in her eyes, the look that just called out for my help, and for once in my life I couldn't stop myself. I knew what would happen if we got caught, I knew that Dan would have one more reason to take her from us, but I didn't care. I had to be there for her, there were other ways, and I know that now. The way I saw it was Dan had nothing left to take, he had taken her from me that day in the doctor's office, when I saw that pain in her eyes I knew that what ever happened from that day on she needed us.

Nathan's Point Of View

My father is a controlling-powerful- self-centered asshole, my mother is a recovering junkie and alcoholic, my brother is pure genius, who plays with his heart, and controls with his mind, my wife is a singer songwriter, with amazing talent, she gives so much confidence, my sister, is a someone who deserved so much more, but took so much less, gives to the weak, wraps herself in other's problems when she is dying from a genetic defect, she is everything that she needs to be, and she doesn't even know it.

It isn't how I love her, it's why I love her.

Four Years Earlier

It was cold, we had never got any snow in the winter, but some days I figured the conditions were perfect. I had just gotten back from my visit with my mom, at her new rehab home, I was exhausted. I had listened to her problems, watched her cry, held her hand, and waited until she fell asleep. But one thing just kept sitting on my mind as I sat there. Before my mother fell asleep she looked at me, and she kissed my forehead, said she loved me, and then she handed me Ashlyn's sweatshirt and asked me to give it to her.

It was a Thursday, ten thirty; she was at The River Court, playing basketball. When I pulled up, they kept playing, I mean they looked at first, but then they went back to playing. They had a good crowd tonight, maybe two dozen people watching them play. Everyone was bundled up tight except for the players, Ashlyn was wearing a pair of sweatpants that were sagging to low and you could see her spandex she was wearing underneath, wearing one of my cut of sleeves, meaning the hole was way to long for her small body, and you could clearly see her pink sports bra. As I got out of the car I spotted Brooke sitting in the stands smiling at the game. I walked over and sat down next Brooke.

"Superstar, how are ya?" She asked flipping her hair away from her face.

I chuckled at her. "I am good. What about you Brooke?"

She smiled and turned to me. "Well I heard that this is the best damn show on Thursday nights, besides Grey's, that is." She laughed at herself. "I figured you'd be playing, where have you been?"

Man, she was quick with the questions tonight. I held out my visitors pass for the center and sighed, "With my mom." Brooke nodded, she was about to ask another question but I cut her off. "What's the score?"

"Uh, Scotts are down by three, but then again – you're not out there."

She was hinting that I should play and I knew it, but I just stood there. She held out her hand. "Give me you're phone and wallet, I'll watch it."

"Brooke…" I whined grabbing my wallet and placing it in her hand.

"Oh come on, it's not like you want the Scott Dynasty to come crashing down. Go." She pointed to the court and I slowly drug my feet out there.

The game stopped as soon as I stepped onto the cement. Lucas held the ball above his hip and turned to me, as did everyone else. Skills, who was shirtless in this cold whether, smiled. "Alright, Scotts against all," he said. "In five minutes, I need my water dawg."

I laughed and kept walking to where Ashlyn and Lucas were standing talking. Lucas laughed at something she said and that's when I started talking to them. "Hey."

Ashlyn smiled. "Hey Nate, how was your mom today?"

I smiled, like a genuine smile, "Good. She gave me your sweatshirt." I tried to sound casual as I point over to where I laid it.

She looked at me and grinned. "That's where I left it!"

"Wait," Lucas interjected, "you went to the rehab center?"

Ashlyn laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I had fun. We played bingo, and then Deb took my shopping in the gift shop…" I tune her out but I watch as her smile grows as she talks about my mother's rehab center. Her soft curly hair bounces up and down as she talks and she starts laughing, as so does Lucas.

I realize that I am standing there, also laughing.

"What do you say, we play some ball." I took the ball from Lucas and whistled Skill's team all came running ready to play. "Jump Ball," I declare as I walk to the center court. I look to Skills, with a questioning look.

"Ah hell, dawg, I'll jump." He steps closer to me, and then he points to Ashlyn. "Girl, get your skinny white ass over here. Let's see if my vertical still kicks your ass!"

Ashlyn walks over she crouches down in front of Skills. She bends her arm and gets ready to jump, just as I throw the ball straight up, I hear Ashlyn whisper. "By the way Bevin's pregnant." Skills stood there amazed and Ashlyn grabbed the ball a dribbled down the court and being the nice girl she is, she waited until Skills came down; then she scored.

Present Day

Sometimes I wonder what she is going to do with her life. If she is going to go to college on an athletic scholarship and then play pro basketball; maybe she'll throw it all away and become a dancer. I wonder if she'll get married, find love, find happiness, or what if she never grows up, what if everything just ends. I can see her running for The White House. I can see her becoming a teacher, who sings at the local coffee club for the rent money. I can see her happy in the arms of some man, living in California, with three bouncy children running around their house with a two car garage.

When I close my eyes and pray really hard, I see myself in her future, but most importantly I see her… in my future.

Ashlyn's Point OF View

When Dan walked back through the door I felt all my anger suddenly reappearing and my head started to hurt again. I hated this. I was just hit by a car, in a coma for a week, and now I feel like they hit me with a freaking semi truck!

He smiles deep like a cocky grin from the bottom of his heart, no matter how small they say it is. He is my father, hence the word, and I know he has a heart, good or bad, its there. I mean, come on, I have a genetic heart defect; he has to have a heart. Physically its there, but emotionally, well, he doesn't have emotions.

"So," He chuckled deeply. "Think you have the mystery figured out?"

I shake my head not believing a word that comes out of his mouth. I know the truth; I was raised with the truth. No money and no Dan. "There isn't a mystery."

Dan laughed and sat down in front of me, my stomach wrenched into knots and I thought my life was over. He reached his hand into his coat and pulled something from the deep pockets. "See that's where you're wrong." He unfolded the neat little paper and put it in my face forcing me to read it. "Tell me Ashlyn what does it say?"

I shut my eyes after I see my mother's name on the first line. He violently shakes the paper in my face, "Read it!" His voice is shaky, just like my clammy hands. "God Damn it! Just read the paper."

I tense up, and open my eyes. "Dear Mr. Dan Scott, this letter is written in the interest of Ashlyn Rose Scott. We feel that after a review of your current lifestyle, it would be best if Ashlyn spent the remaining time of her adolescence under your care. However, her mother, the legal guardian, feels that you would put other things before Ashlyn, and after a certain review requested by the mother, we have found a new home for her. We hereby declare that Lucas Eugene Scott and Nathaniel Royal Scott have full custody of Ashlyn Rose Scott." I groaned inwardly and rolled my eyes at Dan. "Okay, then they signed it. Why does this matter?"

Dan ran a hand through his neatly combed hair. "Your mother sent this to me the day before she died. I understood that she was upset with me, so I gave you space that day…" He was trying to sugarcoat the truth, and I wouldn't allow it.

"Stop!" I say harshly. "You can't make this right, okay? Give it up, all of it! I don't want you to be my dad," I yell. I am on a roll, and I will not stop. "You didn't want me that day at the hospital when I was born! If I believed in déjà vu, I'd say rolls are reversed… I don't want you!" I take a deep breathe. "You don't hold up a hospital, you let it go, move on."

Dan raised his hand like he was going to hit me, he stood up and looked down at me. Holes were burning through my chest and I wanted to get up and knock him down the totem pole. He took a deep breathe, I think he might cry, oh God, he is going to cry. "She wasn't your mother…"

"God Dan, give it up!" I cry in frustration.

"She loved you like a daughter, but truth is, she wasn't your mother…"

This time it is me, who raises the hand, and I clenched my fist and just before I knocked out his lights, I stopped.

"You were adopted…"

Her head snapped in his direction and her eyes were glistening from her tears. Her mouth twitched as she spoke, and very slowly she said, "I hope you mean by Lucas and Nate."

Dan shook his head, "I am sorry but no."

"You're not…sorry," Ashlyn said in a whisper. "You don't have a sorry bone in your body."

"Would you listen," He said in a low tone. "I know you hate me," he was sounding different, almost, like, he was sorry. "But you need to know this…"

Ashlyn put out her hand and stopped him. "Stop."

"No, you need to hear this."

"Don't lie."

"I won't."

Ashlyn laughed, "You just did."

He shook his head. "I need you to listen, okay? Five minutes." Dan took out the gun and set in down on the counter firmly in front of Ashlyn.

"Five minutes?"

He had calmed down. He had watched her clench her fist as he talked about her mom. That's when knew that she had to know the truth. He loved her, and in some twisted way, he knew, deep down he could make her love him.

He placed the gun at him, but still in Ashlyn's reach. He knew she wouldn't touch a gun, she wasn't him, she wasn't a monster. She looked at the gun for the longest time, she didn't look up she just ran a hand through her hair.

"Five minutes?" She repeated. It wasn't so much a question made for him, it was a reassurance for her fears.

Dan nodded. "Five minutes."

Ashlyn hesitantly nodded her head, "Okay."

"Okay. Listen before I start, I want you to know something okay?" Dan shut his eyes and took a deep breathe. "You have so many people that love you… just never forget that okay?" He was being nice, he becoming soft, he opened his heart and his voice was calm.

Ashlyn looked at him worried, "Dan, are you alright?" She asked.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't scared for the same reasons, but Dan Scott was being nice, he was trying to say something important, and he was actually caring for a moment.

He chuckled lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. Okay you ready?" Ashlyn nodded. Dan looked at her and knew it was now or never.

"I met your mother at a youth basketball camp…"