Being So Close

Pt 16

The Ones You Love Suffer Most

Greg spent the night at a hotel in San Francisco. The following morning he got up early and headed for the transport station. When he reached Bloomington he suddenly realized how much destruction there really was. He hadn't realized it before, maybe because his mind was preoccupied at that time.

He adjusted his backpack and began the trek to where the Janeway house used to stand. When he got there he took a moment and said a silent prayer to the spirits in memory of Gretchen Janeway. Even thou he hadn't known her for very long she had graciously welcomed both of them in her home. As he turned toward the north field he took a deep breath and began to walk.

After a few hours he took a break. He seated himself on a log and had a snack. The birds were chirping and there was a small breeze. He lie back on the log and watch the clouds float by. He thought about Pheobe, about who important she had become in his life, and about being close to her. And for the first time he really thought what it would be like if he never saw her again. And it made him cry.

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When Chakotay came into Kathryn's room in the morning she was very pleasant with him. Cautiously he remembered what the doctor had told him the previous day. Kathryn could tell there was something bothering him so finally she piped up and asked.

"Chakotay you seem a little down today, is something the matter?"

"I'm sorry Kathryn I am just feeling a little tired today that's all. Shall I go and get you some breakfast; I heard that they are planning on serving French toast today."

Kathryn grinned. "Mmm, French toast sounds great; can I have some toast too?"

"Of course Kathryn whatever you want I will get it for you all you have to do is ask."

Kathryn smiled as Chakotay was leaving the room. Just as he was opening the door she stopped him. "And if you could bring my sister along with you that would be great also, have you seen the phone Chakotay I would really like to call my mom." Chakotay simply nodded and walked out the hallway. He didn't know what to tell her.

Chakotay ran into the doctor on the way back from the cafeteria. He asked the doctor about what he should say to Kathryn about her family. The doctor shrugged and placed his hand on Chakotay's shoulder.

"Because of the concussion that Kathryn received, she will not remember what you asked her by the time that you return to the room." She is still in a state of denial."

"

So you're saying that I should just forget about what she asks about?"

"At this point Chakotay, it's the best thing that you can do for her recovery. If she suffers any extra stress at this point her condition may worsen and her denial could become permanent."

Chakotay returned to Kathryn's room, French toast in hand. He walked through the door and she greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning Chakotay, do I smell French toast?" Chakotay placed the tray in front of her. "And you brought me toast too, how did you know that I was wishing for toast today?"

Chakotay smiled on the outside, but his heart was breaking on the inside. "Just a lucky guess, I guess."

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Greg had been searching all day and now it was beginning to get dark. As he reached the city he turned around and watched the sun set behind the corn fields. He sighed and returned to the transporter station.

He re-emerged in San Francisco and went to go check on Chakotay and Kathryn. Kathryn was glad to see Greg. Greg was about to tell her that he hadn't had any luck finding her sister when Chakotay interrupted him. Chakotay smiled at Kathryn and told her that he wanted to show Greg something outside. Kathryn smiled and waved good-bye to them both.

"Greg the doctor told me that Kathryn had reached a point where she is in denial about everything. She doesn't know what's going on around her. We are not supposed to talk to her about family and if she brings it up, talk about something else."

"You mean she doesn't realize that her mom is dead or that her sister is still missing?"

"Greg she doesn't even know why she is in the hospital. She wanted to go home today. Back to Indiana."

"But there is nothing left of the house or of the whole city."

"We know that Greg, Kathryn however doesn't even remember the tornado hitting her house or anything before that."

"What are you saying Chakotay"

Chakotay took a breath and let a tear fall. "Greg she doesn't even remember that we are engaged to one another."

TBC