There again. This man. He had the feeling as if he knew him. Not only because of the incident this one night. But in somehow he was used to the fact that his life had become strange. Sometimes he felt as if someone was following him. Yesterday he had met a man, probably he came from India, at least he had looked like that and his name sounded strange. Shandra? He never had heard this name before. He had tried to explain this to the man, but he had been too busy with telling him something about the instability of this universes and that sentients – whatever this is or are- are to blame for it. He went on with something about the apocalypse. He really had frightened him, if he would believe in religion and bible and all this stuff. He really has had trouble to get rid of this man who was telling him that it now was his turn, after his father had settled with the Cadre. And so on and so on. On the other hand what the man had told him was crazy, of course, but it sounded familiar to him. 'Maybe I've read a book with such a story.' This was the only explanation he had left. Sam had started to act strange around him as well. She wanted him to meet some friends. He had explained her that he had not enough time for something like that. After that she had flown into fury, screaming at him. In somehow he wasn't sure if this were the first signs for going mad of if life sometime had to be strange.
"Hey Neil, Dr. McQueans wants to talk to you." Jake, a crazy dude, dragged him out of his thoughts.
"Why?"
"He didn't tell me. I hope nothing serious."
"Okay, then I'll better go. Do we see us later?"
"Sure."
He went to Dr. McQueans. He had been quite dumbfounded when he had found out that Fiona was his wife. He had been confused, because she bore her maiden name. He had told him that things were easier this way. Her husband was quite a famous man. When she bore his name she was bothered with questions like: why does the wife of such a rich man have to do such a hard job. Unfortunately most people weren't able to understand that one liked to do a job. He liked her, although she sometimes started to be much of a caring person. He wasn't used to questions like: how are you or how was your day? He had explained it to her and she had told him that she understood, but she still hadn't been able to switch this automatism off, yet. He reached the door and knocked.
"Come in." He followed this advice and entered the room.
"Dr. McQueans, you wanted to talk to me?"
"Yes, yes. Please, take a seat." He offered him and then at down in front of him. This man had the charisma one could be afraid of.
"I guess you already realized that things went strange lately. You remember the man you told me about, who had told you something about the end of world." 'Okay, this sounds really serious'. He only nodded.
"I want you to stay away from strangers. I know this sounds weird to you, but this is very important."
"But why? I mean, what's going on here?" Now he was sure that there were things going on, he had no clue about what they were. In somehow he felt as if he was involved in some strange thing and he felt as if he should know what it was, but only wasn't able to remember.
"You feel confused and I can understand it and I promise that you'll soon know what's going on, but in the moment your safety is the only thing important now. That's why you're here." It was like a movie and he was the spectator. Everybody seemed to know what was wrong only he had to wait until the end. Why anyone didn't tell him the truth at the beginning and what was the truth?
"One moment. You're talking about my safety. I only thought this here was a school…university and I'm here because of my skills, but now you're telling me I'm in danger. Can anyone clarify me about all this?"
"You're right. This here is an Institution for gifted youngster like you are. Your skills are the reason why you're here and your skills are the reason why you're in danger." 'My…what? What's…' He wasn't able to form a clear thought.
"I…I don't understand this. I…there are others." His lingual ability had stopped.
"The problem is easy explained. You're skills are unique. After one year here, you've made an immense advance. You're skills have reached a level even adult scientist are far away from. That's why you're in danger." 'My…hell. What a freak show. And I thought my life had turned into a more positive direction and now? Why has my life always to turn into crap?'
"Neil we need you and thus we have to take care that nothing happens to you. Soon you're going to understand what I mean. I guess inwardly you know all, but in the moment you're mind is a bit blockaded."
"Yeah, wow." He had no clue what to say or to feel now.
"Don't think about it too much." This sounded like a good plan, because the more he thought about it, the more he felt he was going nuts.
It was a sunny day. Thus he and Jake sat outside talking about their last lecture. He hadn't told him, what Dr. McQueans had told him. He had asked, but when he had answered that he doesn't want to talk about it he had stopped asking.
"Neil?" He heard a female voice. He knew it. He knew it too well. He turned around and there she stood. Black, curly hair, dressed in warm and bright colours. He had no idea what to feel now or what to do. He didn't want to feel happy, because she hadn't been there, when he needed her most. He couldn't feel hate, because she was his mother and he loved her.
"Who's that?" Jake asked.
"My Mom." He answered.
"Uh…I'd better go. If you need help or something, you know where you'll find me." And then he left. He remained sitting on the bench. She came closer and closer. She sat down next to him, as if nothing had happened. All started from new. Again he met with a lie as his whole life had been one.
"Hey, honey how are you." She asked him. Putting her warm hand onto his knee. He pulled his leg away. He didn't want her to touch him.
"You look thin." She went on. 'Hallo? I have a few months hospital lying behind me. What do you think one looks like afterwards?' Didn't she recognize that she was the last person he wanted to talk to?
"I can imagine that you feel disappointed and hurt, but this was…I had no chance. If I had known…" This was the last straw. Now she would begin to apologize and at the end he would be the one who had to carry the can for what had happened, but he wouldn't allow her to do so. Not again. This had happened much too often. It had to end.
"Stop that shit Mom. If you had known or not, it wouldn't have made any difference." He cut in her sentence. He wasn't in the mood for some of these lame excuses.
"Neil, that's not true."
"C'mon. You always treated me like shit, so be pleased that you got rid of the trouble I'm only causing. Now you can invite all your nice friends without worrying that I would destroy your little party." He got up. He had forgotten that his knee still wasn't healed yet, thus he had moved too fast and striking pain moved through his leg. 'Shit'.
"Neil that's not true. I love you, I really do." She sounded despaired. How often had he sounded that way and nobody had cared, they had gone on with their screaming and punishment. Implacability was the only thing he had learned from his parents and now it was time to show them how hurtful it is. Now she told him that she loved him and five minutes she would give him shit for nothing.
"No, you don't. These are only words which ought the clean your conscience. That's all!" He screamed at her. He wouldn't let her got through with her never ending lies.
"No Neil. I know how hard we've been, how hard I've been towards you, but I love you. You're my little baby." 'Of course I am that's why you always trashed me, told me that I'm nothing but trouble. Keep your words for you I don't want to hear them.' He would have been glad if he had been able to speak those words. But he wasn't. He was weak and she knew it and she would make use of it. He wouldn't allow her to do so.
"Stop this, okay! You only hurt me and you know that, but you never cared and now you wanna tell me that you love me? Sorry, but this is a little unbelievable."
"Neil!" She said, but he had turned his back towards her. He didn't want to see or hear her. Again he felt so hurt. Again he felt all this pain she had caused. Again he felt like scum.