"Teyla, please."

He was shivering and soaked with sweat all at the same time. His eyes pleaded with her, trying to convince her he was fine even when it was so obvious he wasn't.

Teyla observed the paleness of his skin against hers where her hands rested on his clammy forearm. "John, I cannot."

Desperately, he nodded, "Yes you can." He glanced down at the leather restraints that held him. "Look. All you have to do is untie me and we can get out of here. Both of us."

"Once you are well..."

His face filled with rage. "I'm fine!" John fought against his restraints, shaking the bed. "If you people would let me off of this damn bed, I'd prove it to you. Now let me up!!"

"John, you have to stop fighting." Teyla tried so desperately to be calm. "Your heart..."

John screamed with the effort of trying to free himself and then at the sheer agony of withdrawal. Giving up, he broke down in anguished tears. He whispered over and over, "Why won't you let me go?"

"Colonel Sheppard!"

John turned away from Rodney and Teyla to see Jennifer approaching them. He grinned. "Doc! Look at you."

She rolled her eyes with a small smile on her face. "See what happens when you leave for six months?"

John knew without looking that Teyla's brow would be raised in silent question. He quickly tried to think of something, anything to change the subject when Jennifer did it for him. "C'mon, Colonel. You haven't had an exam yet."

Jumping at the opportunity, John went off with the Doc before Teyla could ask any questions.

Once they were in as private an area as one could expect in an overcrowded infirmary, Jennifer asked, "So what injuries are you hiding?"

"I'm fine."

She raised a lone eyebrow.

"Really," he added.

Her disbelief was apparent. "I'll be the judge of that, thank you."

Pulling out a portable Ancient scanner that Rodney had run across about two years ago, Jennifer set to work. She frowned over his left arm.

"What?"

"You have mild tissue damage in your arm. Colonel, are you not in any pain?"

John shook his head. "No. I got shot with a stinger in my arm earlier but it's not bothering me anymore."

Jennifer frowned. "A stinger?"

Shrugging, John said, "It's what Ford was calling 'em. It was the weapon Teyla's captors used. Felt like a bee sting."

Continuing silently with her scan, Jennifer stopped again over his heart. "Oh my god." She looked up at him almost accusingly. "When did you have a heart attack?"

"A what?!"

"You have damaged tissue on your heart. Was this one of your bee stings, too?!"

John winced. "Same one actually."

Jennifer narrowed her eyes. "Explain exactly what happened."

So he did, leaving out the part about Ford giving him the Wraith enzyme. That would be bad. They'd tie him down. He remembered what Ronon went through. There was no way he was going through that.

After John was done, Jennifer excused herself. She wanted to draw some blood. John bounced his foot with nervous energy. If she drew blood, then she'd know what was in his system. John shook his head. He couldn't let her do that. He should have run off like Ford had - not gotten on the Daedalus. He was just gonna get thrown in jail anyway. John was a deserter. Never should have come back. John hopped off the bed, only to have the curtain pulled back to see Jennifer and Ronon standing on the other side.

John smiled and tried to act casual. "Ronon. Hi! Coming to get your physical too?"

"Already had mine. Where ya going?"

John backtracked. "Nowhere. Just standing up. But, uh, now that you mention it - Doc, I feel fine. I don't really think a blood test is necessary or anything, do you? Not at least until we get back to Atlantis. It's pretty crowded in here after all."

"It's really not a problem, Colonel. Just have a seat and we'll get it done."

John looked back and forth between the two of them. Doc looked wary and Ronon - well, John wasn't sure but he looked somewhere between appraising and concerned. They were on to him. He needed to leave. John smiled and shook his head, pacing a little. "No, uh, that's okay."

"Sheppard..."

John looked over the situation. He was actually pretty confident he could take Ronon right now but the Doc would be easier. It would ensure his way off of here. Decision made, John went to move but before he even got a step, he felt a prick in the side of his neck. Shaking his head in confusion at every things sudden blurriness, John fell to his knees and then everything was black, the last thing John hearing being Teyla's, "I'm sorry, John."


Ronon didn't even wait for her to enter fully into the room. "What's wrong with him?"

Pursing her lips, Jennifer stated, "He's been loaded full of Wraith enzyme."

"What?! How?"

Looking at Rodney, Jennifer could do nothing but shrug. "I have no idea. I will say this. It saved his life."

Teyla's head tipped to the side, brows furrowed. "I do not understand."

Glancing at Ronon, Jennifer said, "From what I've been told by Ronon, these 'stingers' vary from sending people into convulsions to cutting off their respiratory systems. But each person he saw hit with this weapon died. My scans show that Colonel Sheppard was hit with this weapon twice - In his left arm and thigh. There's surprisingly little damage to those muscles and he will probably only experience some numbness in those areas in the future. The Colonel said that when he was hit in the arm, the pain radiated into his chest. For all intents and purposes, he had a heart attack."

Rodney cut her off. "I don't understand. Heart attacks happen when blood clots block arteries in the heart. How could a weapon that shot him in the arm do that?"

"In rare cases, a heart attack can also be caused by a spasm of a coronary artery. During coronary spasm, the coronary arteries restrict or spasm on and off, reducing blood supply to the heart muscle." Licking her lips, Jennifer continued somberly, "It's the same as using a defibrillator to stop someones heart."

"So what does this mean?"

"Overall, the damage to his heart is minimal. My guess is that the enzyme was injected pretty quickly after the shot to his arm. It would have bolstered all his systems, preventing further damage from the weapon and possibly even repairing some."

Ronon said what everyone was thinking. "Ford."

Jennifer nodded slowly. "I can't think of any other way the Colonel would have come in contact with it. Aiden saved John's life. I just hope that it isn't the same thing that ends it."

"Wait. What do you mean?"

"Obviously we don't have any Wraith enzyme here or even on Atlantis for that matter. Colonel Sheppard won't be able to wean slowly off of this."

Ronon straightened. "He'll be fine. I did it."

Rodney winced. "So did I."

"Yes, and you both almost died. John's at a disadvantage. The damage to his heart may not be severe but it has weakened the organ. The strain on his heart during withdrawal could more than likely cause him to go into cardiac arrest again."


John's first conscious thought was wondering how big a dent he left in the mack truck that must have hit him. And his second was that he had really bad morning breath. Also, his eyelids were being completely insubordinate because they refused to open. Someone moaned.

"Sheppard?"

Okay. Maybe it was him. How embarrassing. John managed to crack an eye open. Bad idea. He slammed it shut against the bright sunlight.

"C'mon, buddy. Wake up and I'll getcha some of that pudding you like."

John snorted, instantly regretting it when it hurt his chest. "And where exactly," he gravelly asked, "do you plan on finding pudding? On Nomar?"

John felt Ronon's big hand pat his shoulder. "We're not offworld anymore, Sheppard. We're back in Atlantis."

Frowning, John was about to ask why when it all came rushing back to him. "We found Teyla."

"Open your eyes and drink this. You sound terrible."

John blinked slowly, prepared for the harsh light that he now realized was infirmary and not sun produced. A grayish blob appeared in front of his eyes, gradually forming the shape of a cup. John lifted his hand and took the water from Ronon. After he took a sip, John looked up at Ronon. "Thanks."

John's memory of the last few days was sparse at best. Oh he remembered pain. Lots of that. Said some downright nasty things too. From what he could remember, Ronon got the worst of it too. John had a lot of apologizing to do.

"Forget about it."

John glared at him. "What?"

Ronon took the cup. "Just forget about it."

John looked down at the bed sheet. He realized that Ronon had probably kept the others away, as much to spare them as to give John what little privacy and dignity as he could. "Thanks."

Ronon looked over Sheppard's downcast expression. He understood. This was another memory, another burden of conscious Sheppard had to bear. There were no words that could be said to remove that. "You're welcome."

Patting his friend on the shoulder again, Ronon said, "I'm gonna go get the doc."

John's eyes widened as he remembered. "Oh god. I didn't... I didn't hurt her, did I?"

"Teyla downed you with a tranquilizer that could have taken down a retona."

John didn't know what that was but he assumed it was big. "Oh. That's good. I guess."

Ronon brought the doc and Jennifer's smile was so relieved that John had to wonder how bad he had gotten. "Colonel! It's about time you woke up."

"What have I missed?"

"It's been crazy around here, that's for sure. The infirmary's packed with refugees and then simply getting the ones well enough to go home back to their planets...it's been busy."

"Rodney and Teyla?"

"Rodney's been studying one of the devices that the captors were using to cloak people and once you were through the worst of the withdrawal, I made Teyla leave. She's on Athosia with Torren."

John nodded, privately thinking Jennifer should have made Teyla leave before she saw him like that at all.

Jennifer directed her next comment away from John. "Ronon, will you please inform Mr. Woolsey that Colonel Sheppard is awake? He wanted to be notified right away. He can see him as soon as I'm done with John's exam."

Ronon silently acknowledged her request and left.

The doc started her poking and prodding in relative silence which was unusual for Jennifer.

"How bad did it get?," he asked.

She smiled the way she did when it was little more than a pursing of lips with the outer edges turned up. "You went into cardiac arrest and had to be resuscitated twice."

Wow. So, that was bad. Jennifer sighed. "John," and John knew it wasn't going to be good because Jennifer always called him Colonel when either were on duty. "You have damage to five percent of your heart. That's not as bad as it sounds. The heart is extremely resilient and overall, I'm not worried about the scar tissue. That alone shouldn't have an effect on your daily activities."

She paused - for what was probably only a few seconds but felt like an exceedingly long time. "But?," he prompted.

"But I am worried about another part of your heart that is not functioning properly. Part of your myocardium shows a form of contractile abnormality. This is a segmental dysfunction which persists for a variable period of time, about two weeks in most patients, but with improved blood flow this part of the heart muscle may come back."

John stared at his blanket covered feet. "And if it doesn't?"

He listened to Jennifer's spiel, but to be perfectly honest - John wasn't paying that much attention. Occasionally he heard words like "limited activities" and "arrhythmia" but mainly John listened to the sound of her voice - somber, regretful - and that really said it all.

He cut her off. "So basically what you're saying is I wouldn't be fit for field duty?"

To her credit, she didn't so much as blink about being so abruptly interrupted. "That would be one application, yes."

"But we're not there yet?"

"No. It will take you six to eight weeks before you can do any strenuous activity. That means no lifting, pulling, pushing, or anything that requires a sudden burst of energy. But if your myocardium returns to normal, which I'm confident that it will, then in eight weeks, you can start taking stress tests and work your way back to active duty."

John flashed her a small smile. "We both know they aren't letting me on active duty, Doc. And it has nothing to do with the condition of my heart. But thanks."

"Dr. Keller?"

John could see Woolsey's feet under the privacy curtain. Jennifer shared a tight look with her patient. Pulling back the curtain, they were greeted with Woolsey holding a file under his right arm.

"I'm sorry. Are you done with your exam, Doctor?"

Jennifer nodded. "For now." Turning to John, she stated, "If you need anything, let me know."

John watched her leave and then met Richard's eyes. "Mr. Woolsey."

"Colonel Sheppard. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been run over." On Woolsey's look, John added with a smile, "But I'll be fine."

"Yes, well, I'm glad to hear it. You gave us all quite a scare there for a while."

John smiled tightly, uncomfortable and not sure what to say. An awkward silence ensued until Richard visibly seemed to remember why he had come. "I brought you Teyla's report. I thought you would want to read it."

John's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "She's already written a report?"

"I told her that there was no rush for details and that she was free to take some much needed leave to see her son. She refused to leave when she became aware of the gravity of your condition and wrote out her full report, without stopping, from that chair right there." He pointed to the lone chair to the left of John's bed. "I believe she was using it as a distraction."

John was furious. The last thing Teyla needed was to be recounting ten months worth of torture right now. They should have made her wait. She should have been forcibly sent to Athosia immediately. Torren could have distracted her from everything. Made her forget, even for a moment.

"A distraction from what?!," he fairly shouted.

"You dying," Richard stated bluntly.

Well if that didn't just pour a bucket of water on the fire.

Clearing his throat, Woolsey set the folder down on John's bed. "You should also know, Colonel, that a specially devised group of your superiors and the director of the IOA will embark shortly for Atlantis. Given the circumstances, traditional court-martial procedure cannot be applied here. However, I assure you that the proceedings will be handled appropriately and by the book."

"I'd expect nothing less from you, Mr. Woolsey."

Woolsey nodded curtly and prepared to leave when he stopped himself and faced Sheppard again. "And on a personal note, it's good to have you back."

What with the impending court-martial, John couldn't say he was overjoyed to be back himself, even if simply being in this cities walls calmed him. Instead he settled with, "I'm glad she's back."

Woolsey smiled, not showing the shock that Sheppard would admit something like that on his face. "As am I, Colonel."

Over the next few days, everyone learned to keep their distance from John Sheppard. At the best of times, he hated being confined to an infirmary bed. This was not the best of times. Sheppard was fuming. And had been ever since he'd read Teyla's report. The things they'd done to her - it made John want to commit heinous acts he never would have thought himself capable of before. And for what?! To increase the potential of her Wraith DNA? They took the one thing Teyla despised about herself and toyed with it - made it stronger, gave it more of an effect on her life.

John's stony silence kept Rodney's visits short and awkward. The scientist would resort to talking about his latest findings with the cloaking device and end up sounding like he was giving a report. Ronon was pretty pissed as well but he had the advantage of taking it out on Marines. John was confined to bed. Even Jennifer was angry, though her ire was against Mr. Woolsey. John's blood pressure sky-rocketed after he read the report and refused to come back down.

The court-martial proceedings would begin as soon as he was released from the infirmary which John knew would have happened by now if Jennifer wasn't stalling. Jennifer personally dropped by to bring John some lunch when he called her on it.

"You can't hold me here forever, Doc."

She continued her task of arranging his tray. "Your blood pressure is off the charts right now, Colonel. You can be released when I see you're fit for it."

John looked at his food selection dismally. He knew that if he let his temper get the best of him in front of Jennifer it would only fuel her into keeping him in the infirmary. "Listen. I know what you're trying to do and I appreciate it but you're just delaying the inevitable."

In full doctor mode, Jennifer checked the machines monitoring his blood pressure and oxygen levels and whatever else the wires hooked up to him kept an eye on. Her stance was still and obviously angry. "You are not going to a cell in this condition. Not on my watch."

John sighed. He knew his condition had little to do with why she didn't want him in the brig. "Jennifer, I'm recovering above schedule. They've been here a day already." Pulling out his pleading eyes, John tried, "I just want to get it over with."

Jennifer rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "This is all just stupid."

John didn't say anything, hoping to wait her out. Shaking her head, she grumbled, "Fine. You want to leave my comfortable beds for a dark cell, that's your choice."

"Doc," John mock affronted, "it's been far too long since you've been in one of your own beds if you think they're comfortable."

"Wow," John heard at a distance. "There sure are a lot of people here, Mother."

"Yes, Torren. You need to lower your voice so as to not disturb them."

Continuing just as loudly, he said, "But I want to see John!"

"We must wait to see if it is alright with Dr. Keller."

Jennifer smiled, moving the curtain back so that Torren and Teyla could see where she was.

"Doctor Jennifer!!!," Torren shrieked, letting go of Teyla's hand to run up to her. Wrapping as far around Jennifer's middle as he could, Torren looked up at her. "It's been soooo long since I've seen you. Haven't I grown?"

"I think you must be a foot taller at least!," Jennifer said matter-of-factly, causing Torren to grin. "We'll have to mark your new height on your chart to see, won't we?"

Torren nodded with an excited grin. Ever since he could stand, Torren got his height marked on a chart Jennifer kept on the back wall especially for him. Seemingly only just noticing Jennifer's different appearance, Torren frowned at her belly. "Doctor Jennifer, are you going to have a baby?"

Jennifer smirked at the I'm-not-sure-how-I-feel-about-this look Torren was giving her belly. "Yes, I am."

He finally took his eyes away from her stomach to look up at her. "And Rodney is going to be the father?"

Her amused smile remaining, Jennifer ran her hand through the side of Torren's dark hair. "Yes, he is."

Torren frowned in concern. "But Rodney will still give me chocolate, right?"

Jennifer couldn't help the laughter that burst out of her, even as Teyla tried to give a chiding look that promised a certain scientist would be getting a talking to later on.

"Hey, what about me?" came a voice behind them. Torren's eyes lit up and he shouted "John!", letting go of Jennifer to fling himself at his namesake. John wisely did not reach to help the boy onto his bed with Doc's eyes boring into him but Torren didn't seem to need much help, quickly securing himself in John's arms.

After his initial oompth from Torren's hug, John squeezed him back. "Hey, kid."

Still squeezing the daylights out of him, Torren said, "You kept your promise."

John looked at Teyla over Torren's shoulder. "I did."

"Hello, John."

The desire to pull her into his arms was still there. He'd only really seen her for moments before the whole withdrawal fiasco and that wasn't nearly enough time to assure himself that she wasn't going to just disappear again. Instead of telling her all that, John settled with, "Teyla."

She didn't seem to know what to say so turned to the most obvious out at this point. "Torren, John needs to breathe."

Torren giggled, releasing John but not getting off the bed, choosing instead to sit by him.

Jennifer loudly cleared her throat. "I'm just going to go see about getting you released, Colonel."

John nodded his thanks, not really taking his eyes off of Teyla. Her face seemed to bear an enormity of emotion, but of what John wasn't sure. Trying to think of something, anything to say, he blurted, "How was Athosia?"

A genuine smile blossomed on Teyla's face. "Very well. They are just bringing in the harvest."

John had been to a harvest party with Teyla before. Those calm mild-mannered Athosians that John thought he knew were just covers for wild party animals. John gave Teyla a knowing look full of remembrance. "With you back as well, that must have been a serious shindig."

Her amused grin was enough of an answer. Still, she added, "It was that."

"I set off fireworks!," Torren declared with obvious pride.

"Fireworks. Where'd you get your hand on some of those, buddy?"

"Rodney taught me how to make them."

"Yes," Teyla narrowed her eyes, "Rodney and I have much to discuss."

John bit back his grin. No sense in him getting in trouble.

Teyla took a step up to the end of the bed, resting her hands on the bed sheets. "Torren, now may be a good time for Jennifer to mark how much you have grown on your chart. Why don't you go and see?"

Torren nodded and climbed down, eager to find out so he could tell everyone. He had declared on more than one occasion that he wanted to be as tall as Ronon when he was big. John could see an adult conversation on the horizon and watched Torren go with reluctance. Teyla too watched her son run to find Jennifer and no doubt drag her to the back of the room. The boy only had two speeds - fast and carry me, I'm tired. When Teyla turned back, her eyes roved over John's face as if searching for something. Finally, her voice full of more emotion than she probably intended, she asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"John," she chided.

Sheppard relented. "I didn't exactly have much opportunity."

"You should not have done something so foolish."

Annoyance in his tone, he repeated, "Foolish?"

"Yes! Foolish." Her tone whispered, Teyla continued, "There is talk of you being imprisoned, John."

"Yeah, well...I'll deal with it."

Author's Note: Sorry if the medical jargon isn't accurate. I did as much research into the after effects of heart attacks as I could but didn't find all the info I was looking for. So let's just take into account that I'm not a doctor and that this is an alien induced heart attack and hope that I didn't make Jennifer sound stupid.