Note : This is part II !

Genre: Humour/Crack

Spoilers: Season 6 episode 6 and everything before!

Summary: McGee wants to find out why Vance has been so nice to him lately.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: NCIS = not mine. I do not make money writing this fanfiction.

Chapter 2

Tony had always found that paperwork was easier to take care of when it was dark outside and quiet inside. He actually enjoyed working at night - at least when there was nothing better to do. And nothing better to do was exactly what he had tonight, after an unfortunate turn of events or, more precisely, after his recent discovery of the just as unfortunate marital status of one Annie (a very blond-haired, very much 23-year-old Swedish waitress).

Allowing himself a short break between two pages of an extremely tedious report sent by Metro on a cold case which may or may not (and, most likely, did not) have something to do with their current case, Tony let his eyes wander around the squad room and over his coworker's desks. Ziva was probably already up at that time; perfecting her knive-throwing skills in her basement (or something equally scary). Gibbs had most likely dozed off next to his boat after a glass of whiskey (or two, or three). As for Probie, at this time, there was no doubt that he was -

- that he was standing right in front of Tony's desk, looking extremely tense and slightly angry.

Tony briefly tried to recall what he had done recently to anger McGee, and since none of his recent achievements in that domain particularly jumped to his mind, he decided that the best course of action was probably to ask. "Err, Probie? What can I do for you on this beautiful, insanely early morning?"

Tony had accompanied his question with an anticipatory apologetic smile, but it did not seem to appease McGee's obviously growing rage.

"Where is Wantz?" he asked Tony drily.

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Where is who?"

"Wa- I mean Vance. Is he here?"

Slightly taken aback by the sudden tone of urgency in McGee's voice, Tony shrugged. "Well, err, two hours ago or so he was in MTAC, so he's probably in his office now.. but he may be sleep-"

McGee had stormed out of the squad room and reached Vance's office before Tony could have the chance to finish his sentence. The older agent shook his head. McGee's behaviour right now had been extremely strange... something was definitely up.

I should probably call Gibbs or he'll kill me when he finds out in the morning, Tony reflected. But he had not even reached for his phone that Gibbs was already calling him. Abby is right, thought Tony as he picked up the phone, it is creepy.

"Yes, Boss?"

"DiNozzo, have you seen McGee?"

Tony paused. "Alright, boss, how do you do it? You're not watching the camera to the squad room from your house, are you? 'Cause really, boss, there are much bettter things to watch, you know. If only you let me fix that TV of yours, you could have access to Oldies TV, they have re-runs of Magnum:P.I. every T-"

"DiNozzo! I did not ask for a summary of the TV Guide! I asked you a question!"

Gibbs's exasperated tone left no room for more extended descriptions of Oldies Channel's amazing schedule, so Tony cleared his throat. "Yes boss. I am at work, and McGee was there less than thirty seconds ago."

"Was he okay? Where is he now?"

Gibbs sounded worried, so Tony was worried too, now. "Why, yes, he seemed fine... unusually pissed off if you ask me, but fine... and he left for Vance's office -"

"Alright, Tony. We may have a situation here. Listen to me very carefully..."

Less than two minutes later, Tony was at Director Vance's office door. He considered knocking first, but just as he approached his fist to the door, he heard McGee yell at Vance to keep his damn toothpick or he'd shove it down his throat, so he decided to break the door open instead.

He wasted no time and, quickly assessing the situation, pinned McGee to the ground before he could harm the director. The move was handled not-so-smoothly, and nearly knocked McGee out.

"Director! Are you alright?" shouted Tony as he handcuffed a still very dizzy McGee.

Vance was litterally gaping in shock. "... I am fine, agent DiNozzo. What exactly just happened?"

"Agent Gibbs just informed me of new results for the chemical tests in Petty Officer Niedermann's case. The smell at the house resulted from a high dose of to- err..."

"- toluene, also known as methylbenzene or phenylmethane," completed Gibbs, who had just arrived. "It is a gas known for his hallucinogenic effects. Causes paranoia, especially," he added, raising an eyebrow at the sight of a half-conscious McGee handcuffed at Tony's feet in the middle of the Director's office.

Vance frowned deeply. "But what exactly inspired the dramatic entrance in my office, Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony smiled proudly. "Well, McGee seemed unusually nervous when I saw him earlier, so when I got the phone call from Gibbs, I figured that I should go check on you, just in case he had inhaled too much of the gas and was on a paranoid high... So when I heard McGee threatening to shove a toothpick down your throat, I knew he was out to kill you or something..."

"You heard him say that?" asked Vance suddenly. He looked from Gibbs, to DiNozzo, to McGee, and pursed his lips. McGee had indeed said very weird things, but he had most certainly not threatened him...

Tony tried to conceal his smile as much as he could. "Yeah, well, I hope you don't mention this in his record, Director. I mean, he was clearly under the influence of this gas and-"

"Agent DiNozzo," Vance cut him, "Agent McGee never said this. Agent Gibbs, the three of you went to that house earlier this evening, were you not?"

At this, Gibbs looked up. "Well, yes, we were, but only McGee is dangerous," he blurted out immediately.

Tony nodded. "See?"

Vance sighed, and tried very hard not to roll his eyes. Very calmly, pressed a key on his telephone. "John, please have a medical team sent to my office as soon as you can. I've got three agents who inhaled an hallucinogenic gas at a crime scene earlier this evening."

Gibbs and Tony looked at each other, perplexed. Why did Vance not understand that they had just saved his life from an evil, paranoid McGee?

Three days later

When he stepped out of the elevator, McGee was greeted by Ziva. "Welcome back, McGee. I heard that you, Gibbs and Tony are no longer intoxicated now?"

McGee looked away, rubbing his head where Tony had hit him when he had tried to 'restrain him' with a little too much enthusiasm. "We are indeed... Gibbs is currently at Abby's lab and Tony is arriving soon." He sighed when he saw Ziva's amused smile. "It seems that we put up quite the show there, didn't we? Gibbs and Tony were collectively convinced that I was after Vance's life, and I was convinced that Vance was after mine. I heard that Vance's door had to be replaced because Tony broke it; and I apparently insulted Director Vance. This is all quite embarrassing, really."

Ziva nodded. "Well, it wasn't your fault, you were all under the influence of a powerful thing, yes? So don't bite yourself about it!"

"You mean beat."

"Hmm?"

"The expression is to beat oneself about something. Not to bite."

"Oh," she replied, distractedly. "By the way, McGee. The Director wants to see you..."

McGee brought a hand to his face and moaned in despair. "He's gonna fire me, isn't he?"

Ziva did not reply.

In Vance's office, a few minutes later

"Ah, McGee, have a seat, please. If you agree to sit this time, that is," said Vance, smiling.

McGee blushed crimson. He could not really remember what he had said or done three days ago, but he vaguely remembered being pretty nervous about Vance's behaviour towards him. "I umm... yes, of course," he stammered, choosing the smallest of the four chairs and secretly hoping that both he and the chair would disappear to another dimension when he sat.

Unfortunately though, such a thing did not happen, and Vance continued to talk. "I understand that you are now feeling better?"

"Umm, yes, Director. Much better, thank you." Can I go now?

"I see. Good." Vance munched on his toothpick for a few seconds before going on. "I wanted to apologize. I am not sure what you remember from our little dialogue from three days ago, but... it made me realize some things. So I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't giving you any special treatment, for any reason. And I apologize if I ever made you uncomfortable by my attitude. "

McGee's skin couldn't find a redder shade of red. "I - I don't feel uncomfortable, Director, really." A very likely statement, McStutter, he could hear his inner DiNozzo say as he spoke. "I was not myself, that's all. I would never think such things -"

"Very well, then. I just wanted to make this clear. Go back to work, then."

"Yes sir."

"And take it easy, McGee."

"Yes sir."

"I am saying this as a Director, McGee."

"I know, sir."

"Good."

McGee nodded and let out a deep, deep breath as he left the Director's office.

Once McGee had left his office, Vance took his copy of Deep Six from his drawer. Slowly, he detached the first page, on which he had conscientiously pre-filled the autograph : "For Leon, with love". He sighed. Maybe he would get a signature one day. But for now, better be safe than sorry.

The page disappeared into the shredder with a painful noise.

THE END!