A/N: I got really carried away with this chapter. It was six pages long in word, but I decided that was way too much. There was too much rambling, so I've cut it down lol. Eeesh I'm having fun with this story lol! :D

Chapter Eleven

Rambling Rescue

Arnie trotted back through the foliage smugly, now knowing exactly where they needed to go. How dare that dense human imply that he was lost? He was a prince's horse! And one thing that prince's horses never did was get lost. Not unless it was their intention anyway…

Still, now he had his bearings they could get moving again, and hopefully this stupid nightmare would be over as quickly as it had all unravelled. They had to continue through these woods, which would take a couple of hours at least, and then across the river that separated this forest from the Dark Woods. Then it was just a case of getting through the Dark Woods without being eaten or killed and they would be at the castle in no time. Then Arnie could race all the way back to his stable and wait there until everything blew over.

Now if he could only find that stupid red haired woman…

'Oi!' he yelled out, looking around the deserted patch where he had left her. 'Where are you?'

He got no reply. He snorted irritably and trotted forward, looking around.

'What, is the request to stay in one place really that difficult?' he grumbled, venturing into the surrounding undergrowth. 'I hope she's been eaten or something. That'll teach her a bloody lesson…'

What was it with humans anyway? They could never help themselves from having a good nosey around, more times than others getting themselves into some stupid avoidable danger. Arnie had had two other riders before Prince Karl and both of them had died at the hands of their own ignorance. Prince Francis, for instance. He didn't need to go into that burning building to fetch that tarty princess. Morons the whole bloody lot of them. Arnie was counting down the days until he could retire.

'Ashley?' he called. 'Look, I'm not wandering around her looking for you. I'm just going to go back to my stable. I couldn't give a crap what happens to this place. Good riddance I say.'

He stopped and looked around. Actually he had no intention of leaving her behind – not now anyway. He wasn't completely aware of it though, it was more of a subconscious thing. He trotted ahead, picking up a strange smell in the air. After a moment he recognised it as a coal fire.

'Oh she didn't…' he muttered. 'She can't be that stupid…'

Arnie stopped and looked at the little cottage that sat amongst the pretty flowers and let out a groan. Of course she would blunder right into the Big Bad Wolf's house. She just had to, didn't she?

He stood there for a moment, deliberating over what to do. The wolf could have already eaten her. Would save him a lot of bother in the long run. Arnie turned to go, but then stopped. He couldn't just go. Yes he was a coward and yes he had ran from every minutely dangerous thing in his whole life but this… This seemed big. A lot bigger than him. It also seemed that something that wouldn't go away just by running, it would catch up.

Arnie sighed heavily. 'Damn.' He muttered, and then slowly approached the house.

Ashley slowly rose up from unconsciousness. She was suffering from major room-spin, something she hadn't had to go through since that time her and Manny had worked their way through four bottles of wine and a half a bottle of Jim Beam. Her stomach was lurching slightly and her eyes were rolling. She struggled to open them, and the left one obliged first. She looked around groggily, unable to make anything out through the blurs. She tried to lift her hands to her eyes but found that she couldn't. Then she became aware of the ropes that tied her hands and feet and the cloth that was tied around her mouth.

A low humming helped bring her back around completely and she looked around with wide eyes, trying to remember what had happened. She was in a kitchen, apparently, lying on the floor on her side. She could see table legs and chair legs, a brown rug and a pair of feet. A pair of great big, hairy, clawed paws. Ashley remained silent and watched the feet. Remembering the terrible transformation of the old woman into the wolf (yes, a big frickin' wolf, she reminded herself) she felt a pang of unease. Actually, it was more than unease. It was complete raw fear.

The wolf's humming turned into a little song. 'Chop, chop, choppity chop,' he sang in a low, gruff voice. 'Chop off the bottom and chop off the top. What we have left we will put in the pot… chop, chop, choppity chop…'

Ashley looked around, trying not to make any noise, and saw the kitchen door standing open just behind her. She could burn through the ropes and make a run for it. If the wolf caught her she could just singe its horrible wiry fur. She half smiled, more from her nervousness than the fact she had a decent plan. She narrowed her eyes, concentrating on the ropes. Burn through them and she would be sorted.

Nothing happened.

She didn't even feel slightly warm.

Ashley frowned. Why wasn't anything happening? She tried again. Nothing.

Okay, right. So she couldn't burn anything at this moment in time. She tried to think of another plan, but the irritation that her so called powers had vacated at such a pivotal moment distracted her a little. What the hell was the point in being able to send things up in flames when you couldn't do it when you needed to? She looked towards the door again, and then to the wolf. It was still humming away, chopping something on the bench. Each slice and thump of the knife made her shudder.

That was going to be her soon.

Ashley slowly pushed herself along the floor, moving slowly. She looked like an overgrown caterpillar, pushing herself along with her feet and straightening out, before curling her legs up again for another push. She kept her eyes on the wolf at all times. As she moved around she saw its tail wagging gently from side to side. For now, the rest of it was concealed by the table.

The wolf suddenly turned and she stopped abruptly and closed her eyes. She heard it padding across the floor, now whistling a vaguely familiar tune. There was the creak of a cupboard door opening, and then the wolf returned to its place and continued humming and chopping. Ashley opened one eye, and then the other, and then began pushing herself along the floor again.

Then something unexpected caused her to stop when she was just inches from the threshold. There was a knock on the front door. A loud and impatient knock. The wolf stopped what he was doing and looked around.

'If that's a bloody salesman I'm going to use his intestinal tract for plate decoration.' He growled, coming around the table. Ashley looked up as the wolf stopped in front of her and looked down, eyes narrowing. His black nose twitched and his lip curled up to reveal the thick yellow teeth. He growled, causing Ashley to flinch and whimper, and to close her eyes tightly. She waited for some kind of attack, mostly to be eaten alive, but when nothing came she opened her eyes tentatively. When she looked up, she saw the old woman – not the wolf. She just caught the last dark hairs receding back into the old woman's cheeks.

'You can scream all you like,' the old woman smiled eerily. 'It'll give me an excuse to eat whoever that is too.' She smacked her lips and rubbed her stomach, before shuffling past her towards the front door.

Ashley wriggled quicker so her head stuck out of the kitchen door and she could see down the corridor. A small end table blocked her vision completely, but she could see the old woman's slippered feet and the walking stick shuffle to the door and then pull it open. Ashley felt a strange mingle of excited and dismayed when she saw the four hooves on the other side of the door.

'Hi,' Arnie's familiar, arrogant tone proved it was him. 'Okay, um… I was just passing through and well… I've lost the um, this girl I was with. She's got red hair and she's dressed weird. Got quite an irritating, kind of droney voice. Complains a lot.'

Ashley frowned and for a moment hoped that the wolf would just eat him. That quickly passed and she was soon willing Arnie to turn and get out of here. Obviously he had no idea that the old woman was the wolf.

'Oh yes I think I know who you mean,' the old woman replied nicely. 'She was here not so long ago asking for directions to a castle. She left though.'

'Oh right, because… well, you see… the thing is…' Arnie ducked his head down and Ashley was surprised when he looked right at her, totally unsurprised. 'That I can see her right behind you.'

A low growl sounded from the old woman. 'Get the hell out of here you stupid horse,' she hissed, her voice now with a more guttural tone. 'You're lucky I don't like horse meat. But if you don't beat it I can always freeze you and keep you for a dinner party.'

The old woman went to slam the door, but Arnie stuck a hoof in the way. 'Honestly? I'd love to. I'd love to just turn around and head back home so I can go to sleep because frankly, I'm knackered, but I'm kind of stuck in with all of this now you see. You've probably noticed that great big dragon flying about, right? Well it's kind of in the middle of freezing everyone and as it turns out, that girl reckons that her friend, who is already at the castle… if he's not dead of course… can stop all of this before this place is nothing more than a planet full of snowmen. Now, I don't know about you Mr Wolf, but I wouldn't really like that to happen. I mean, there wouldn't be anymore people for you to eat, unless you like frozen people of course… just put them on a stick, right?' He chuckled, ignoring the old woman's bemused expression. 'Anyway, yeah… where was I…? Oh right, well if you eat her, I don't think we'll be able to stop all of this you see. And I don't think she's really all that worth it to be honest. Look at her, she hasn't got much meat on her, don't you think?'

The old woman turned and looked at Ashley, who was lying across the floor and watching them both in confusion. The old woman seemed to consider it for a moment, before turning back to Arnie.

'Well… It's been a while since anyone's passed through,' she replied, now with the wolf's growling voice. Hairs were beginning to sprout from various places on her body. 'Last person to wander through here was an axe man.' The wolf, which was now halfway through morphing from the old woman, held up a hand to reveal one missing finger. 'Chopped off one of my fingers he did. Hate those bloody axe men. Think they're kings of the forest. One of them hacked up my granddad you know.'

Arnie nodded. 'Really?' he asked, feigning interest. 'Wow. So, what do you say? Let her come with me.'

The wolf looked back at Ashley, drumming his hairy fingers on the door. 'Hmm…' He mulled it over for a moment. 'I've already got the pot on…'

'She's not going to fill you up!' Arnie cried. 'After half an hour you'll be starving again.'

The wolf still looked unsure. He started to shake his large head. 'I don't think so…' He began to close the door again.

'Wait, wait,' Arnie insisted, trying to stick his head through the narrow gap in the door. 'Tell you what, you let her come with me and I'll give you the new address of the pigs.'

The wolf opened the door wide and eyed Arnie unsurely. 'You know where they live? I thought they were under Kingdom Protection.'

'Well they are,' Arnie nodded. 'And I'm not surprised after the carry-on they had with you. I mean really, did you have to knock down that little pigs house with a bulldozer? You know how long he spent building that?'

The wolf half frowned. 'How would you know where they live? You're bluffing.'

Arnie rolled his eyes. 'I'm a Prince's horse. I know where they are.' He turned and showed the wolf his rear. 'See the brand?'

The wolf peered at the brand on Arnie's hide. 'Okay,' he said, leaning against the doorframe. He creaked under his weight. 'So you're a prince's horse. How do I know you're not just going to give me a dodgy address?'

'Well I can only give you my word, can't I?' Arnie half nodded. 'And you should know it's a Royal Duty to never go back on ones word.'

The wolf eyed Arnie for a moment, and then looked back to Ashley. He breathed out sharply through his nostrils, and then sighed. 'Okay, seems like a fair trade to me. And I've been after those sodding pigs for ages. They won't expect me to turn up on their new doorsteps.'

Behind him, Ashley breathed a sigh of relief. Arnie grinned. 'Good man… uh… wolf.'

The wolf grunted something in response and went back to Ashley, hunching down beside her. She watched nervously as he untied the ropes. His wiry hairs itched her skin and his hot breath smelled disgusting. After what seemed like an eternity, the wolf picked Ashley up and returned her to her feet.

'You are a bit scrawny.' He commented with a look of distaste. 'Go on then before I change my mind.'

Ashley ran out of the house faster than she thought she could, and didn't stop until she was out of the garden. She stopped and looked back to see the wolf writing something down on a piece of paper while Arnie peered at it.

Arnie shook his head. 'No, it's Banbury Cross. Not Brandbury Cross. There's no D.'

The wolf corrected his mistake. 'Right. Got it.'

'All down?'

The wolf turned and looked at Arnie. 'If this turns out to be the wrong address, I'm going to find both of you and boil you alive, got that?'

Arnie nodded as he trotted away. 'Sounds charming. Nice doing business with you Mr Wolf!'

The wolf grunted and then closed the door noisily. Arnie trotted right past Ashley and towards the woods. Ashley cast a quick, nervous look towards the cottage and then hurried after him. They walked in silence for a few moments.

'Um… thank you…' Ashley started.

Arnie frowned and snorted. 'Oh shut up before I go back and tell him that I changed my mind and he can have you.'

Ashley rose her eyebrows in surprise, but fell silent. They walked on a little further, but Ashley had a question that she had to ask.

'You didn't really give him the addresses of some pigs, did you?' she asked, wincing.

'Of course not,' Arnie replied. 'Do you think I'm some kind of monster? No, I sent him down to the community centre in Banbury Cross. The axe men are getting a new delivery of axes later on, and that's where they practise their chopping.'