A/N: Right, okay I've managed to accept that this story can't go on forever, so it's going to have to start winding down lol. I keep getting carried away and thinking up of more random fairytale type characters to add, but I have to stop that now... Anywhooo, I hope everyone's still enjoying and thanks for the reviews, you luverly people :D

Chapter Fifteen

Sugar and Spice

The climb up the blonde braid was terrifying. Four times Ashley had felt like her arms were going to give way and she was going to plummet back down the side of the tower until she smashed into the ground below. That frightening thought was the only thing that kept her adrenaline levels high enough for her to continue until finally, and thankfully, she rolled over a window ledge and landed with a thud on a smooth wooden floor.

Ashley lay there with her eyes closed tightly and waiting for her racing heart to slow down. Just as she thought she was entirely relaxed, a shrill and piercing squeal cut through her and caused her heart to jump start dangerously fast again. She let out a yell of her own and attempted to prop herself up on her elbows, but her arms gave way and she thudded back down again.

'Oh… my…Lordy!' an impossibly high-pitched voice wailed. 'Look at my hair! Oh Goodness it's disgusting!'

Ashley managed to turn her head and look towards the source of the deafening sound. It was a slim, perfectly figured woman standing in the centre of the round room, her perfectly porcelain hands planted on her beautiful, smooth cheeks. Her pink dress flowed down without a single offending wrinkle or crease. The waist was nipped in and on the skirt was delicate white embroidery. Above her gleaming blue eyes, her blonde hair was pulled tightly back into the braid that ran along the floor, looped twice around a wooden beam on the ceiling and out the window. Ashley stared at her for a moment.

'Do you have any idea how long it takes to wash?' the beautiful woman whined, her hands clasping together under her chin. 'Two days! Two whole days!'

Ashley managed to get to her feet unsteadily. 'I'm sorry,' she replied, slightly bewildered. 'But I uh…' She searched for a reason to why she climbed up in the first place, and still couldn't find one. 'You asked me to climb up.' She shrugged, lamely.

'Then you're going to have to wait right there mister until I've washed up. And you can wash up too. No way am I having you take me back to the palace covered in pig muck.'

Ashley frowned. 'It's not pig muck!' she insisted, and then looked down. 'At least I hope it's not…. Hang on, I'm not a mister.'

The woman looked at her for a moment, and then leaned forward and squinted as if she were trying to make out the last line on the opticians eye chart. Finally she recoiled with a screwed up nose and a delicate hand on her chest.

'Oh my Lordy!' she cried in disgust. 'I couldn't see through all that mud! I just thought you were one of those girly looking gentlemen.' She whirled around, her dress billowing out and she put her forearm on her forehead and leaned against the four poster bed that stood behind her. 'Oh woe is me!' she wailed dramatically. 'Here I thought my prince had finally come to rescue me!'

Ashley shifted uncomfortably on her feet. 'Sorry to disappoint.' She shrugged. 'Um… is there any chance I could just have a quick scrub while I'm here?'

The woman turned her eyes to her, but didn't move from her elaborate stance. 'Who are you?' she enquired, slowly lowering her arms and folding them over her chest.

'My name's Ashley.' Ashley replied, casting a quick glance around the room. It was packed with all sorts of things. A dressing table stood at the other side of the room past the giant four-poster bed, and there were three wardrobes standing together nearby. There was a harp, a sewing machine (quite a high-tech one that looked out of place amongst the medieval style furnishings), a tall bookshelf crammed with books that looked quite girly with their pink and lilac spines and a huge plasma TV bolted on the wall in front of a huge white leather sofa.

The woman lowered a perfectly plucked eyebrow. 'If you're not a hero, what are you doing wandering around the woods with a princes' horse?'

Ashley sighed. 'Oh it's a long and… weird story. And this is just another bloody weird chapter to add to it apparently.' She leaned against the window ledge, grateful for the support. 'I'm looking for my friend. He was taken by a dragon.'

The woman stared at her for a moment. 'And… why are you looking for him? It's a man's job to do the rescuing.'

Ashley looked at her. 'I'm sorry?'

The woman stepped forward. 'I'm Rapunzel.' She announced grandly. 'Daughter of King Horace the 98th.'

Ashley clicked her tongue thoughtfully. 'Okay. Um… about that wash…'

Rapunzel looked aghast. 'You respond correctly when I introduce myself to you.'

Ashley looked at her and blew her cheeks up in thought, not enjoying the growing awkwardness she could sense. It had obviously been a mistake to climb up here, even if there was hot water for her to get cleaned. Maybe washing in a stream with a horse wouldn't be as bad as it seemed. 'You know what? I think I might just make my way back down,' she said, standing up. 'You wouldn't mind lowering your hair back down, would you?'

Rapunzel stormed forward, her cheeks flushing pink. 'You're not going anywhere, missy. I might not like it, but you were the one who climbed up here and the rules clearly state that the person to ascend the tower is the one who must rescue the princess and return her to her Kingdom.' She paused. 'I'm not too sure about the marriage bit. I'm not really into all that if you know what I mean.'

Ashley shrugged. 'Sorry, but it was just a mistake,' she replied. 'The person I was aiming to rescue doesn't frolic around in pink dresses. At least not what I've seen.'

Rapunzel stamped her foot angrily like a spoilt child. 'I've been waiting five years for my rescue and I'm not going to have it messed up by some ignorant little twit! Now you rescue me this instant!'

There was a space of about five seconds in which Ashley could do nothing but stare at the fully-grown woman throwing a full-blown hissy fit in front of her. Finally, she found her voice. 'Twit?'

Rapunzel began to gather her hair up. 'You're not going anywhere without me.' She huffed, wrapping the long braid around her arm. 'This is the most important day of my life!'

Ashley just watched in dumb silence as the princess gathered up the whole braid and then stomped across the room and sat down at the dressing table with her back to her. Ashley leaned out the window and peered out, and was only just able to make out Arnie lying on the grass at the bottom. He was probably enjoying the peace and quiet.

'Okay, so by rescuing you just mean getting you out the tower right? You could make your own way back on your own.'

Rapunzel whirled around. 'You have to take me back to my Kingdom! And then my father will knight you for your bravery and then there'll be a big party where we will dance in front of everyone and then…' She paused. 'Well there's supposed to be a wedding, but I suppose that will just have to wait.'

'Sorry, no can do.' Ashley shrugged her shoulders. 'I don't have time for that. I can help you get out, but that's probably going to be the end of it.'

Rapunzel stood again and stomped her foot twice. 'That will not be the end of it!' she screamed, making Ashley flinch. 'You will do as I say you peasant! You will rescue me and we'll dance and everyone will look at me and admire me and love me and…'

'For God's sake shut the hell up!' Ashley cried, the high-pitched sound of the princesses screams giving her a headache. 'Christ whoever locked you up here had a damn good reason too!'

Rapunzel stood silently, gaping at Ashley in shock of being interrupted in such a manner.

'Now look you stuck up cow,' Ashley continued, advancing on her with a stuck out finger. 'You wanted me to climb up here so I bloody well did. Still can't figure out why I bothered… But I'm having one hell of a bad day what with losing my friend, and then being lumbered with a pain in the arse horse, and then almost eaten by an old woman, and then nearly drowning in the Bog of Eternal Stench so the last bloody thing I need is to be getting yelled at by some reject from the Disney Princesses Club!'

There was a moment where neither of them said anything, and then a sharp slapping sound cut through the silence. Ashley felt the stinging on her cheek before she realised what had happened. Then she realised that Rapunzel had just slapped her across the face. Now it was her turn to stand in a shocked silence.

Rapunzel put her hand on her chest and moved her head back. 'Well I have never ever been spoke to like that in my entire life!' she breathed dramatically.

Ashley blinked. 'Did you just bitch slap me?' she cried in disbelief.

Rapunzel moved away, shaking the hand that had just struck Ashley's cheek. 'Now you'll have to get cleaned up. I'll be a laughing stock if we get to the Kingdom with you looking like that. I'm sure I'll have some clothes for you somewhere… Owweeee!'

The squeal had been caused by Ashley tugging hard on Rapunzel's braid. Rapunzel whirled around and slapped at Ashley like a little Yorkshire terrier, head moved back and face scrunched up. Ashley had never been able to cope with girly attacks like that, so she recoiled with her arms up in defence. She allowed one foot to kick out, mostly in shame of being repeatedly bitch slapped by a Barbie wannabe, and her toes struck Rapunzel's shin. The princess cried out and grabbed her leg, hopping backwards.

'Owee owee oww!' she wailed, leaning against the back wall. 'You just broke my leg!'

Ashley managed to regain her composure and smoothed down her dirty hair. 'That's what you get for slapping me.' She replied.

'I can slap who I like!' Rapunzel wailed. 'I'm a Princess!'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'Look, I tell you what. I'll clean up, then we'll climb down, and Arnie can take you back home. I can't, right? I'm busy.'

The princess sniffed, wiping her nose. 'You're so mean.' She whimpered.

'So is that a deal?' Ashley asked, resting one hand on her hip.

Rapunzel stood for a moment, gasping for breath the way children did when they had just been told they couldn't have any more cake, and then nodded with an overly dramatic whimper. 'If… If it means you won't kick me again.'

Ashley rolled her eyes. 'That's because you slapped me. Don't slap me again and I won't kick you again. Fair?'

Rapunzel nodded, and then sniffed loudly. She took a moment, and then turned. Her upset suddenly vanished and she pointed to a part of the room that was cornered off from the rest of the room. 'I have a huge bath and lots of nice smelling things. Could I wash your hair? I'd love to wash short hair. It's awful washing mine all the time.'

Ashley blinked, and then shrugged. 'Um, okay.'

Rapunzel clapped her hands and let out a excited squeak, before grabbing Ashley's hand and pulling her towards the bathroom area. 'Oh this is going to be so fun! I haven't had any girl friends around for months!'

Ashley followed reluctantly, again wondering if it wouldn't be better if she just washed with Arnie in a stream.