A/N: I was thinking (I know, dangerous) since I got back after my internet drought I've got a whole bunch of new ideas for stories - more than the last three I need for this series thing so... would people like to see a Xmas Special, and then an attempt at a series 2? I know it's took like, a year to get this far in series 1 but hell, there's no Doctor Who next year. It needs to be filled somehow! Anywho, if people want a Xmas-y type one I can start thinking of a Xmas theme now lol.

And this one is starting to wrap up now (Over 26 chapters and it would be toooooo long XD)


Chapter Twenty-Three

Ambush

'Maybe it's like… dinner time or something.' Arnie suggested while he peered around an old gnarled, dead tree. 'Or maybe there's a sale on babies and mead somewhere.'

Ashley glanced to the Doctor, worried about the lack of… well, anything around the castle. 'Maybe it's a trap.'

The Doctor shook his head, still studying the deserted castle. 'No. Trolls aren't smart enough for traps. One of them would have sneezed or chased a butterfly by now.'

The four of them were hiding in a line of foliage that made up the very edge of the Dark Woods. The castle ahead of them looked like any other kind of creepy, villain's castle. The sky was even darker above it. There were numerous towers that just seemed to twist off left right and centre, almost like they were defying gravity. Dead trees scattered the outside. There was a squawk from somewhere, but nothing moved.

'Well we'll just go in then,' Rapunzel shrugged, who had surprised everyone by being quite gung-ho about storming the castle. She had tucked all of her remaining hair in her cap and was clutching tightly onto her sword. 'If we see any of those disgusting Trolls, we'll just decapitate them.'

'Now hold on a minute, Rambina,' Ashley told her. 'We need a plan.' She glanced to the Doctor. 'You did come up with a plan, didn't you?'

The Doctor's gaze lingered on the castle for a moment, and then he turned to them with a shrug. 'Well there's no one there. We could just go in.'

Ashley stared at him. 'Are you kidding me? Did you see what happened to Karl? We only need to step out there and we'll get kebabed. I'm sorry, but I've got the right amount of holes in my body already, and I don't want or need any more. I think we should go with the tunnel. At least then we'll have half a chance.'

'No, not the tunnel,' the Doctor replied. 'I've had enough of tunnels for one lifetime, thank you very much.'

Arnie whinnied. 'I agree with Red, actually. Even though it makes me feel a bit nauseous admitting that.'

'See? Two against two.' Ashley crossed her arms.

The Doctor nodded and smacked his lips. 'I suppose you're right.' He paused for a moment, giving Ashley a little time to be smug. Her smugness soon evaporated when he nodded to Rapunzel and stood up. 'Come on then.'

Rapunzel hopped up and followed him out of their hiding place. Ashley watched them in alarm, and then went to shout after him but decided better of it and just whispered loudly.

'Doctor!' she hissed. She looked around warily before following. 'Oi!'

The Doctor and Rapunzel sauntered through the open ground like they were just crossing the street, not approaching a castle full of bloodthirsty Trolls. Ashley quickly joined them and slapped the Doctor on his arm.

'We're going to get killed.' She hissed.

'Quite possibly,' he replied. 'But not yet. The reason there's no Trolls here is because they want us to get inside the castle. It's once we're in that we have to start worrying.'

'And that's supposed to make me feel better?' She glanced back and noticed that Arnie hadn't followed them. 'See, he's got the right idea.'

'Oh cool your jets,' the Doctor rolled his eyes. 'We'll be fine. You're with me.'

'Cool your jets?' Rapunzel queried, and then glanced to Ashley in bewilderment.

'It's a saying.' The Doctor assured her. She nodded, but still looked confused.

'Okay, fine.' Ashley seethed. 'Castle storming it is then. But I bet you it won't be long before I have to tell you I told you so.'

The Doctor shook his head. 'No one ever says that to me.'

Before anyone else had a chance to respond, there was a clang of armour and a chorus of grunting and growling. The three of them came to a halt and watched in alarm as a few dozen Trolls came pouring from various nooks and crannies in the hillside to their right and came thundering towards them. They turned to run, but realised there were even more of them coming from the other direction. The Trolls came to a halt in a large, disorganised circle around them, but made no further approach.

Ashley took a breath to speak, but the Doctor beat her to it.

'Okay, don't say it.' He sighed. He stepped forward and tossed his sword to the ground. 'Alright, we surrender. Take us to your vertically impaired leader.'

'Oh, goodness! Haven't you heard of hand cream? Your palms are like sandpaper!'

The Troll looked at Rapunzel in complete bewilderment and grunted. She grimaced and waved her free hand in front of her face.

'Oh, pooh! Apparently you haven't heard of a toothbrush either.'

Ashley looked around at their Troll escort with a frown. They were currently being marched up a stone corridor that was decorated with nothing but dust and cobwebs. Very minimalist. It was freezing also – much colder than it was outside. Ashley had to admit that she never really cared for the cold, but she restrained herself from moaning about it. Instead, she leaned towards the Doctor, who was being dragged along beside her.

'You planned this all along, didn't you?' she muttered. 'You bloody arse.'

He turned and beamed at her. 'I told you! You'll be fine. You're with me.'

Ashley sighed and frowned. 'Well I hope you've actually got something useful and less death-wishy up your sleeve from now on, because otherwise we're royally fu-'

'Shut up.' The nearest Troll barked at her. She turned and scowled at it, but did as she was told.

About thirty seconds or so later, they came to a stop at a large wooden door. The Doctor leaned towards Ashley, grinning. 'This is great.' He whispered. She snapped her head around to him irritably, wondering what was so great about being captured by Trolls. The doors opened, and she looked around the room. When her eyes fell on its only occupant, she snorted aloud.

'So we meet again.' Janex the Dwarf said grandly, lifting one tiny arm up towards them. 'And I see you've brought two maidens with you. Very nice.'

'Ha!' Ashley laughed. 'It's friggin' Verne Troyer!'

Janex's brown darkened. 'When she is sent down to the Troll's quarters, she should be gagged. They don't care for noise much.'

Ashley's smile dropped. 'What? I'm not going anywhere, Dumpy.'

'I'd advise you to be silence,' Janex growled.

'Ashley,' the Doctor whispered. 'Just do as he says. I'll deal with this.'

'And Rapunzel!' Janex beamed, moving forward. 'How nice it is to see you again. Although I must admit you have filled out a little.'

Rapunzel looked horrified. 'I have not!' she cried.

Janex grinned, pleased at upsetting her, and returned his sights on the Doctor. 'So you managed to escape. Very clever, hero. Although I must say that you made a rather stupid mistake by coming back here.'

The Doctor was glaring at him. 'Karl and Feelia are dead. You killed them. Along with countless others. I'm not done here.'

Janex sniffed. 'Well I was told they were doing perfectly well until I had you put in with them. Perhaps it was you who killed them.'

'You were going to feed us to dragons!'

'You probably would have survived,' Janex replied, waving a hand. 'They only wanted to play. However you did do me one favour by escaping, I'm now aware of the sewage pipe that runs out of the back. I'm going to have that blocked up as soon as all this is over.'

'All what, exactly?' the Doctor demanded. 'What is it that you're trying to achieve? Have everyone killed until it's just you and your Troll army? Then what? Sit in here for the rest of your life?'

Janex chuckled. 'Well it won't just be me. I think I'll have your two maidens join me.'

'I'd pull your sodding eyes out.' Ashley growled.

'Very well, you can go to the gallows with your hero.' He nodded to the Trolls. 'Take them away.'

'Wait, wait,' the Doctor insisted, pulling against the Troll that hauled him back. 'Before you have us hung or maimed or whatever floats your boat, at least tell me why.'

Janex turned and scowled at him. 'Do you want to know why? Really?' He shuffled forward on his short legs. 'Okay, hero. I'll tell you why. It's because I hate this place! With all those big thick-brained heroes running around posing for the tourists. Everyone turning into sell-outs! When I was young, before they decided to turn the place into a damn attraction, it was nice. I had a nice cottage in the woods with a nice garden and a little elf who used to live behind the skirting boards… I was never bothered. Until one day when I was feeding my elf, some great big fat tourist from Clom started taking photos of me through my window! Then I found out that there was a tour bus full of them! My cottage was one of their stops! Then it just got worse and worse. The three little pigs wanted to build a mansion style home with the money they had made in their real-estate business, and their plans meant my cottage had to be flattened! Because their father was on the council they got their wish and down went my home. After that I thought what this place needed was a good cleanout. Get rid of all the bad apples. Make it quaint again.'

'So you recruited a bunch of Trolls and a dragon to do it for you?' the Doctor asked with lowered eyebrows. 'Doesn't sound all that quaint to me.'

'It will be once I'm through and the Trolls go back!' Janex roared.

'And what makes you think they'll go back? The only thing keeping them away from here was the heroes, and you've done away with them all!' the Doctor yelled back. 'You think they're going to do what you say when this is all over?'

Janex flushed red. 'I have their word. They were sick of heroes burning down their homes and hunting them. And they were sick of people trip-trapping over their bridges at all hours of the day and night. So inconsiderate, you know? They just want some peace, like me.'

'If they want some peace they shouldn't go around eating babies and cute woodland animals.' Rapunzel scowled.

Janex waved his arms. 'If we can't accept them for who they are, how can they possibly accept us?'

'They do accept us!' Rapunzel snarled. 'On a plate with some cabbage and potatoes! I think you have just proven that you're very much insane, little man.'

'I think I've heard enough from you. I don't think I could put up with your constant noise, so all three of you can go up to the gallows.'

'What about the dragon?' the Doctor demanded, before he could be pulled away again. 'Dragons are wild. They don't work for anyone.'

Janex turned away, shrugging his shoulders. 'Let's just say I was… persuasive.'

Everything clicked in the Doctor's mind at that moment. 'You're holding her babies hostage, aren't you? She's on a rampage because you have her babies.'

Janex shrugged, still facing away from them. 'Decisions have to be made sometimes, some harder than others.' He glanced back around to them. 'This one, however, is easy. Take them away.'

'You can't hang me!' Rapunzel wailed. 'I haven't even met my prince yet!'

The Trolls hauled them back out of the doors. The Doctor pointed a finger at Janex, scowling angrily.

'I'm going to end this, just you see.'

Janex waved a dismissive hand and turned back to the window.