I really suck at updating.See the chapter its two parts and one of them I had finished a while ago but i was too short for here and so I wanted to wait to give you more. So hope you likw
Peyton's POV.
You ever have a really vivid dream? One that when you wake up, you can pinpoint every detail, every line, ever y movement? And then somehow it's as if you never finish the dream? And you try and try to go back to sleep so you can somehow get back to where you left off but it just never happens? So then all you have is this cliffhanger and you just want to know how it ends? Well…that's how my night was. After Lucas kissed me, somehow we made it up to my bedroom. I remember slipping over to my stereo, putting on my iPod and hitting shuffle. I went to my bed where Lucas was already located and just layed with him, my head on his chest and his arm secured around me. The sounds of Snow Patrol floated through the room, and we just layed there listening to the melody.
We'll do it all
Everything.
On our own
We don't need
Anything or Anyone
I hear him breathe in a content sigh .I feel his eyes on me, burning a hole through me as if trying to read my thoughts. My only thought his him and the feeling of security that's floating through my body.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and Just forget the world.
I hear him humming and singing along to the song. I know this is one of his favorite's .It's the first song on the mixtape I made him, a "thank you" for him helping me through my mom's anniversary week.
P.S Whatever.
I Don't quite know.
How to say
How I feel
We've barley spoken since we've come in here. Just trying to soak in this moment , making it last as long as we can. We made, somewhat of a silent agreement; I guess you could say, to just live in this moment. And wait to open up old wounds tomorrow. Now it's just us.
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
I hear him breathe in and hesitate as if he was going to say something, but then stop. I look up at him and see him staring at the ceiling.
"Luke…" I touch his cheek lightly and he turns and looks at him with those piercing blue eyes.
All that I am.
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes.
They're all I can see.
"…I'm in love with you Peyton."
If I lay here.
If I just lay here.
Would you lie with me
And Just forget the world.
I didn't even have to open my eyes to know it was morning, as I felt the sun hitting me from the window
Damn those curtains I thought.
I slowly open my eyes almost blinded by the light, I look over to the clock on my night stand
9:45
Ugh, way to earlier...Need...Coffee
I roll over on my back and feel the cold empty space next to me. I sit up and look around the lighted room and see nothing. No sign of human life.
I lay back down and stare up at the ceiling, starting to feel the tears burning behind my eyes
Saying last night was crazy would be an understatement. More like a rollercoaster. One minute we're in this room next we're arguing and then on the porch giving a show to the neighbors. It seemed so unreal, almost like a dream and the fact that it actually happened shocks me the most. It just seemed so…perfect. I felt like I was living in a fantasy world where everything was going my way. But now it's a new day. Reality has made a crash landing.
Time to get up and face it.
No...I think reality can go on without me for a little while.
"…I'm in love with you Peyton."
Silence,
"I know it's a bit sudden, but I can't lie anymore Peyton. I love you, I always have."
Peyton just layed there, in shock over the 3 words spoken to her. This has to be a dream, she thought. The way the night started, she never expected this to happen.
She lifted herself slowly off the bed and began to pace back and forth at the foot of her bed.
"Peyton, please say something."
"What do you want me to say Lucas." She said a bit louder than intended. "Did you expect me to just jump in your arms, forget that the past couple months never existed and pretend that everything's ok? That this..." she motioned between the two of them "...is okay?"
Between her words Lucas had risen off the bed and began walking slowly towards her during every word she spoke.
"Peyton the only thing I ever expected from you was to just be honest with me. Nothing more."
"Luke I am being honest. You can't just act like this is gonna end like some fairytale, I mean I don't even know if your being true right now."
Taken back by her words, Lucas just stood there staring in those eyes, feeling more and more vulnerable by the minute. He reached out and took both her hands in his and began to speak.
"Peyton, all I want to do is be honest with you. I need you to trust me again. I know that these past few months have been screwed up and I'm so sorry for that, I just wanted you know…I needed you to know how I felt…how I've always been feeling .I just need you to trust me."
It's a good thing Luke was holding her up, because Peyton could feel her legs about to give out. The effect this boy had on her was scary and those piercing blue eyes staring straight down to her soul didn't help either. She began to contemplate her next move. All she wanted to do was go back to lying down in his arms, before he said the words. She looked around her room, not able to look in his face anymore scared she would break. It was that moment her eyes caught the picture she drew of the three of them shooting at the heart. Now it all just seemed so wrong.
"I can't do this again...it's not right". She mumbled still staring at the picture.
"Peyton please it's not the same as before all that matters is us."
"And what about Brooke?"
And there is was. The big elephant in the room. The one thing standing between her and the man she longed to be with.
She stared a Lucas, a look of guilt sketched on his face.
"Peyton, I like Brooke but you are so much more than she ever was…"
"Oh so the 'you wanting to be with her' was just an act?" she said sarcasm in full force.
"I did want to be with her, but I thought you wanted to be with Jake? Was that an act too?"
"I did want to be with Jake, I never hid that, Jake will always have a place in my heart but YOU were the one to call him. Why would you call Jake if you wanted to be with me? You wanted to be honest right? You wanted me to trust you? How can I if you say you love me and yet everything you've done these past few months show just the opposite? You weren't around, you never knew all the crap I had to deal with. I'm sorry if that doesn't scream 'love' to me."
All Lucas could do was nothing. He just stood there, watching as his love yelled and cried and broke down in front of him. He just stared in her eyes, filled with the heartache he knew he put there.
"Luke maybe you should just go tonight, okay?" she said more calm as she turned away and began to wipe her eyes.
"No, I promised you I'd stay .I'm not going anywhere."
"Luke I'll be fin-…" but he interrupted.
"I'm not leaving you Peyton." Knowing she wouldn't win she just nodded.
"Take my dad's room".
He nodded as walked over to her, gave her a kiss on the forehead and spoke in a whisper.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I never cared, 'cause I do Peyton. I never stopped."
And with that he was out the door, as she sank down on the floor and broke into tears.
Reality Blows.
Okies so there it is. I know it didnt really develope some sort of story, it just brought more drama lol I have ideas for the next few chapters so In the next few weeks you will get an update
and i know im a week late but OMG how GORGEOUS was the LP reunion?!
"..I wanna be slefish with youu" how freakin adorable was that?! god i love the smell of victory lol