Wrote this while I was pretty much a wreck, but when I tried to re-write I found I couldn't change much about it. So here it is...

I got some great reviews, and special thanks to IheartTV 'tv-luvin-hottie' for making the deal... (If I continue to write, she'll continue to write her story "This is who we are". Check it out, it's a great story)

Kristin: Thanks for your review too! I'm not sure whether Peter'll come back, because right now it wouldn't be logical. But I'm planning on writing another fanfic (got it all planned out, I just need to write it), also a crossover between Criminal Minds and Higher Ground, in which Peter will probably come back. Just don't know when I will actually write it.

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds nor Higher Ground belong to me.

JJ woke up to the sound of someone knocking on her door again. Blinking in the sunlight that entered the room, she sat up straight. "Who is it?" she called out.

"It's me," the other person answered. Just what I can use, another interrogation, she thought, too tired to be panicked. "I'll be right out," she answered, quickly turning off the TV she had turned on before she'd gone to sleep.

Opening the door, she saw Hannah standing there, holding a notebook. "Agent Rossi said it was yours," she said to JJ, seeing her look.

"Oh! Uhm, it is," JJ answered. It was hard for her to act normally around the woman who'd been like a mother to her for quite a while. JJ suspected Hannah had seen right through her, which didn't make it any easier.

"Do you want to come in?" JJ asked politely, knowing she had to ask such a question.

"Actually, I do," Hannah said in a voice that didn't promise much good. JJ stepped aside to let her in, and while she passed her, Hannah said softly: "We need to talk."

She sat down in a comfortable chair near the window. JJ decided to sit on the bed, far enough to keep some distance, knowing what would come.

Hannah broke the uncomfortable silence. "I know you are Shelby."

"I am not Shelby," JJ answered automatically, trying to make the name sound like one unfamiliar to her. "I don't know who Shelby is."

"It's no use lying, Shel," Hannah said, looking at her with something like pity. "The scar on your arm, remember?"

JJ looked down. That treacherous scar, once inflicted by a wild dog, had betrayed her. Her cover had been blown away because of a stupid little dog.

She looked up again, not knowing what to say. Finally she settled on something familiar: "Don't tell them." They both knew who JJ was referring to.

"You haven't told them anything?" Hannah asked. She wasn't surprised Shelby hadn't changed much in that way, but still – how long could she stand on her own?

"No, and they don't need to know. It's gone, over. I'm not Shelby anymore, and nothing of the sort ever happened to me," JJ said in a definite tone of voice. Hannah noticed the pain in her eyes and wanted to stand up and hug her, but she didn't, knowing Shelby rejected physical contact. The Shelby she had known had done so, anyway. Obviously, that Shelby was gone from the surface now. "Shel…" She took a moment to see how she would react to the name. JJ flinched ever so slightly, but did nothing else.

"I won't tell them, but you know you're gonna have to someday."

"They'll find out anyway," JJ mumbled. "Emily… I think she knows."

"Shelby, why don't you just tell her? She can help you. Your team can help you, they're profilers after all."

"I don't need help. And don't call me Shelby, I am JJ." Something of her old behaviour was coming back, and she felt the urge to run, like she had done when she was a teenager, run away from the problems, even though it never worked.

"Oh, come on, JJ. I knew you quite well, even though you didn't want to accept it. I know what happened to you, and I know what you're trying to do here."

She did stand up now and walked over to the bed. "It's not going to get any easier, Shel," she said softly. "No matter how long you wait."

JJ didn't reply, but continued staring at her hands, as if they had suddenly become a source of interest. Hannah was about to start one of her old peptalks, when the door was opened.

Agent Prentiss walked in, probably the one Shelby had referred to as 'Emily', the one who possibly knew some things.

"Agent Bauer!" Emily exclaimed, obviously surprised and confused. "Uhm, can I help you?"

Hannah quickly stood up. "Really, call me Hannah, I'm not an 'agent'. And I was just giving Agent Jareau back her notebook." She hesitated only for a moment before saying JJ's name, and that didn't go unnoticed by Emily. "Anyway, miss Jareau…" -she turned back to JJ-, "I am glad we talked." Giving JJ a last meaningful look, she nodded to Emily and left the room.

"Well, that was strange," Emily said, still a little surprised, trying to break the ice. "Oh well… What do you think of her?" She addressed the question to JJ, who was still sitting on the bed.

"I guess she's okay," JJ mumbled, not looking up.

For a moment, neither of them talked. Then JJ stood up and turned to Emily: "Why are you back so early, anyway? I thought you were interviewing the Denzels."

Her snappy tone alarmed Emily, but she decided not to let it show. "They weren't home and we couldn't reach them. Neighbours said they had gone to New York."

"Nice place to spend your time after your wife or mother has been murdered," JJ said, trying to cover up.

"They're probably visiting family," Emily said, seeing through JJ's disguise. "JJ, why were you crying last night?"

Emily's abrupt change of subject unsettled JJ, who hadn't expected that talk now.

She sighed. She had to tell… but it was just so hard. She couldn't do it now, not right after Hannah…

"I just had a bad dream again, about Hankel and Charles and then this new unsub came in, too, trying to kill me," JJ settled for a lie. Emily didn't know how Hannah and she knew each other, and if she found out, it wouldn't be soon or everybody would know everything about her. She couldn't tell Emily that part of the reason she'd broken down was because Hannah had reminded her of bad things.

Emily sighed. She knew without a doubt that if was a lie, and she knew that JJ had to talk soon, or she'd be in a real mess. Emily had seen what could happen to people who kept it all inside, and it couldn't happen to JJ, too, she couldn't lose another friend…

"JJ, I know you're lying and I know you're afraid to tell the truth. I just want you to know that, whatever it is, I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." She paused for a moment, watching JJ, who finally seemed to realize that lying no longer had any use.

"But this, it's poisoning you. It's eating you up inside, and you know what's going to happen if you don't get that poison out."

It was almost literally what Daisy had said on the trip to Dog's Peak, a long time ago... Emily was a lot like Daisy. Daisy had been there for her, had supported her and hadn't turned her down when she knew. She had accepted her. Maybe Emily would, too…

"I lose anyway, whether I tell or not," she replied, looking up at Emily. It was the same thing she'd said to Daisy.

"You don't know that unless you try, do you?" Emily asked rhetorically.

JJ thought for a while.

Maybe it was easier to just tell… Not everything, because then she'd have no one left, but just some things, enough to explain why she'd been behaving the way she did, and who the nightmares were about. JJ knew she could trust Emily, and she indeed wouldn't tell anyone if JJ asked so.

"Okay, but not now, I've just woken up," JJ finally replied. She didn't look at Emily and therefore didn't see the glint of excitement in Emily's eyes before she answered.

"Alright, what about lunch tomorrow? Then we're away from the rest," she said, thinking that JJ needed something to calm her mind, now that she had decided to talk.

But JJ was quite emotionless when she said: "Okay then, tomorrow."

Emily left again to do something about the case and left JJ alone, thinking.

What have I done? Now I have to tell, and if he'll find out he'll start all over again, it'll all start over again, I'll go back to being who I used to be and I'll never be JJ again to her...

They're horribly out of character... I just haven't seen Criminal Minds in a while, having only started rewatching two days ago, and that's the first season in which Emily is not even existent yet and JJ has very little screen time...
And as for Hannah, well, there are not enough episodes with her!

Oh, and if the whole text is written in italic like it was before: no idea why that is.