Author's note: Without further due… the next chapter, with the first (of many) Brucas scene. Answers to your lovely reviews can be found at the end of chapter!
Laurie
Chapter 4: Near To You
He and I had something beautiful, but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go, 'cause I knew he'd never love me back
Such pain as this shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss, still a little bit delirious
Near to you, I am healing but it's taking so long
'cause though he's gone and you are wonderful
it's hard to move on
yet, I'm better near to you.
Brooke was busy refilling her drink when she felt him touch her arm. She turned around and Lucas greeted her with a smile. "Hey Brooke."
She smiled as soon as she saw him, and she realized that it was the first time ever since the beginning of the night that she really meant it. "Hey yourself. So how does it feel?"
"How does what feel?"
"Getting to live the happy ending. You know, Peyton Sawyer, tortured artist, and Lucas Scott, brooding writer and tortured athlete," she trailed.
Lucas couldn't help but watch her as she spoke, looking for that sadness he had seen lingering on her features a few minutes earlier, after Peyton and him had arrived. But it was all gone now; all that was left was the clear happiness she felt for him and her best friend.
"Pretty good," he said. "Listen… I just wanted to thank you for doing all this." He motioned around him.
She stared at his smile, remembering what Nathan had told her earlier during the night. Her heart hurt when she thought of the heartache it would put him through. She wished she could save him from it before it even reached him.
"Nah, it was nothing. Don't mention it."
"Brooke, come on. This is incredible. You are incredible."
"Thanks," she said, her features softening. "I just wanted to see you and Peyton happy."
"Thank you, Brooke," he told her, and he couldn't help but reach out and touch her bare arm. She looked up, unsure how to react, and as sadness briefly passed over her face, she mentally slapped herself for it.
"You okay?" he asked.
And what killed her was how easily he could read her.
"I'm fine."
"Brooke, I know you better than this." He paused. "How has today been without Angie?"
She shrugged. He couldn't help but notice that she looked smaller all of a sudden – small and fragile – and he felt that urge to protect her taking over him again.
"I don't know. And honestly, I'm not sure I want to know. I just kept myself busy with your party, and Jamie helped me shopping for all the stuff so it made it a little easier. I'm afraid to go home, though. I'm not sure I can be there without her."
"Well you know I'm here for you, anytime. I mean it. Call me, if you need anything, 'kay?"
"You can count on it," she answered, before realizing how similar their conversation was from the one of the very first ones they had ever had, the night Peyton had been drugged at Duke.
"You know, I had a party planned for Angie. I was actually going to have it up here, too."
"I know," Brooke said softly. "Millicent told me."
"I wish I'd had the chance to surprise you with it."
"You've done so much already, Luke," she said, placing her hand on her heart.
He smiled softly. "It wouldn't have been as pretty, though."
"I'm sure it would have been. Remember when you pimped my locker? I was speechless for the whole class after I'd seen it."
"It was exactly my intention," he said, laughing.
"Well it worked. After that day, I suddenly had my book for each class because I loved my locker so much. I actually put all my books in it just so I had an excuse to open it ten times a day."
"Ten times? Damn, I was good."
Brooke laughed. "Yes you were!" she said.
He kept his eyes locked with hers as their laughter died and something passed between the two of them.
"I'm happy for you, Luke," she told him, trying to shift their conversation in a direction that would make her feel more comfortable.
"Are you?"
Before he'd known it the words had escaped his lips and out in the open. Where had that come from?
Brooke was speechless for a few seconds. She was trying to figure out what to answer when Jamie came running towards them. "Uncle Lucas, will you throw water balloons with me? Momma said I could!!"
Lucas looked down at his nephew and the spell was broken. Brooke rearranged her dress and tried to put a smile back on her face.
"Alright buddy. Let's go." He followed Jamie, walking away from Brooke. By the time he looked back at her, she was already making her way towards Peyton. He shrugged it off. Even if a part of him had meant his words, tonight's party and the very rooftop he was standing in were a living proof that Brooke had stopped loving him a long time ago.
--
"Are you sure you don't need any more help?" Millicent asked for the tenth time.
"I'm fine, Millicent. Really. Will you go home already and give Mouth a long massage? Trust me, there's no quicker way to get to a guy's heart. Or elsewhere," she trailed.
But Millicent kept on staring at her. Apparently, she needed better jokes.
Nathan, Haley and Jamie had left first, followed by Peyton and Lucas, and then Skills and the guys. Millicent had stayed around and helped out. It was really nice of her, but right now Brooke needed some time alone.
"I'm going to be fine, Milly. And if not, I have a whole armada of friends who made me swear to call them if anything was wrong. You can go home! I promise."
"Alright," her assistant finally agreed. "I'll see you tomorrow morning then."
"Have a good night!" Brooke told her assistant as she walked down the stairs. She put the last plastic cups in the trash bags and sat on the edge of the rooftop. Lucas and Jamie had thrown most of them during the night – the only letters left were LUCAS. She sighed. It hadn't been an easy night on her heart. And she knew the next few days would not be much better, with Lucas and Jamie learning Dan was dead.
She'd been planning on taking all the stuff down tonight – the banner, the petals, the lights – but she found she didn't have the heart for it. It would have to wait until later.
Her phone rang and she happily saw it was a message from Peyton. Hope you're doing okay. Sorry we couldn't talk more, I promise to make it up to you soon. Love you.
She smiled through her fatigue. They'd barely had a chance to talk tonight – just long enough for Brooke to tell her that Angie was gone. Peyton had been concerned, but she knew her well enough to let it go when she'd realized Brooke needed time to process the whole thing.
She looked around the empty rooftop. Where did she go from here? It seemed like the silence had finally settled in. Angie was gone, Peyton and Lucas engaged, Millicent was moving in a month… Where did that leave her?
She scrolled down the contact list of her phone. She lingered over Lucas' name before moving on. She knew she couldn't call him tonight.
She stopped at the next name. Maybe she had somewhere she wanted to be after all.
--
Tric was packed at this hour of the night. She hadn't been back in a long time – in fact, she couldn't even recall the last time she'd come here. With Angie staying with her during the past few weeks, the last thing she'd had time for was going out. But to be honest, she had also wanted to avoid Owen. He had told her she just "wanted what she wanted".The truth was, tonight she didn't really know what she wanted. Maybe she just didn't want to be alone.
She sat at the bar, waiting for him to notice her. When he did, he slowly made his way towards her, taking orders on the way.
"Can I have a Brooke Davis, please?" she asked, looking straight into his eyes.
He nodded. He came back with her drink and settled the shot glass in front of her. "On the house," he told her when he saw her reaching for her purse. "You look like hell. Rough day?"
"Try rough life."
Owen smiled. "How is the adoption thing going?" he tentatively asked.
"And now he cares!"
"Brooke, come on. I'm being nice here."
She stared at him. It was too easy for him to think he could just ask about the adoption thing and think it was all going to be forgiven. But then again, she was the one who had shown up here.
"It was… more than what I'd expected," she said before drinking down her shot.
He gave her the "I told you so" look. She didn't really expect him to understand. But to be fair, she'd never really tried to make him understand. She'd never really let him in. She wasn't sure she wanted to.
"It didn't work out?"
"You could say that."
Owen left for a few minutes to pour more drinks to other customers sitting at the bar. Finally, he made his way towards her again.
"So, Brooke Davis. What are you doing here?"
"Truth?"
He nodded.
"I don't really know."
"I think you do," he answered. He poured her another shot. She drank it eagerly.
"Maybe I want you to see what's underneath all the clothes. But maybe I'm not sure it's the right decision."
"Because I didn't want to date someone with a kid?"
"Because I don't want to get hurt again."
He stared at her. "I can't promise you it won't happen."
"I know. That's the scary part," she admitted.
--
The song I used for the title of the chapter is sung by A Fine Frenzy.
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miralinda: I should have put up a huge Leyton warning, sorry! But their demise will come soon, don't worry! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
evergloweyes: the chapter dealing with Dan's death will be the next (ch. 5)… and there will definitely be a Brucas scene. I'm glad you love the Brathan scenes – I found myself loving their friendship more than I thought I would, so there's definitely more Brathan coming. Nathan is so on Team Brooke! Thanks for the lovely review!!
othfan326: Nathan knows Brooke pretty well in my opinion and I really wanted to use that bond in this fic. As for the Brucas coming in… it started in this chapter and will only grow from there on :-) Thanks for reading and reviewing!!
Yaba: I think you're so right – Brooke is loved by so many fans that it makes it impossible not to ship Brucas. Not to mention how selfish Peyton often acts, which doesn't help things at all. I'm glad you think killing Dan was about time… I thought his death brought more to the characters than keeping him alive would. And yes, Lucas and Peyton are definitely going too fast with the wedding thing, but it's all going to catch up to them soon, when they realize the inevitable – that they don't belong together. Thank you so much for reading but also leaving such long and insightful reviews!
Whiters: Thanks a lot, I hope you liked this chapter too! And don't worry, Leyton won't last that long ;-)
Mosie1213: Brucas is most definitely endgame, no worries. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
BLNHJPisTLA: I really hope Nathan is the voice of reason for Lucas, too. I feel like we haven't seen him interacting with a lot of characters during S5 and I really hope that changes for S6. And yes, Dan's death will definitely bring Brooke and Lucas closer ;-) I love your long reviews, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this fic!
Writer Writes Words: I'm glad you liked the whole CongratuLeyton, I thought it was funny and a very Brooke thing to write! I know things have been hard on Brooke, but it's going to get better soon… and then – well, I won't say anything 'cause I don't want to spoil the rest haha. Thank you for the awesome review, I am so glad you are loving this fic!
Coffee.With.Cinnamon: I agree with you – Jamie is definitely the best thing that has happened to show in a long time. Jackson Brundage plays him so well, it's impossible not to love him. What I'm trying to do with this fic is have Lucas grow up and realize that there is only ONE girl for him, and it's Brooke. And I want to realize WHY, and once he has, he won't have any doubt about their relationship or regrets/doubts about his other relationships. Because like you, the whole trifecta things drives me nuts. As for Brooke, I'm going to let her be happy with Owen for a while :-) thanks for the review, I totally don't mind you venting lol!
FrenchOthFan: Yes, I think Jamie understands Brooke more than other people, just because he sees things for what they are, nothing else. I love them together! Thank you so much for reading – I'm glad you left a review!! PS: are you French? Cause I am too ;-)
BloomingMissy: I'm happy to hear I made you day even slighty better! And I'm glad to hear that you like that I'm taking the time to really tell this story and let the relationships and characters grow, because I think this fic is going to end up being longer than I ever thought it would. Thanks for reading and reviewing, it makes me so happy!
Team Davis-Scott: You'll definitively get plenty of updates when you come back! I hope you have fun wherever you are… thanks for reading and reviewing!
hoeoverbros: Yes, Dan's dead… but I think it only brings good things for all the characters, hopefully you all will, too. And don't worry, things will get better for Brooke soon. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Orange GooGoo: All good things come to those who wait is all I have to say. Thanks for the review!!