Author's note: So I realized a few days ago that I whenever I received an e-mail telling me I had a review for a chapter, I could actually answer the review through that e-mail – which is what I did. Please let me know if any of you did not receive an answer because I wrote to each one of you. If it worked then I'll be doing that for the remaining chapters :-)

Anyhow, next chapter is here… and so is Lucas and Peyton's final hour.

Thanks for still being here, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Laurie

Chapter 8: Still Alright

When everything you have goes away

You realize that nothing means a thing

Everything you thought was a big deal

Now you see it all and what is real

When all you have just falls apart

And nothing seems to work out right

And you're trying

You're still alright

"I miss grandpa Dan."

Brooke looked up at Jamie. He was playing basketball on the terrace while she was lying on a chair, reading a magazine. "I know, buddy."

"But nobody does but me. Not even dad."

"I'm sure that's not true," Brooke told him. She got up and walked up to him. "Even if your dad doesn't want to admit it, there's a part of him that misses Dan. It's just hard for him to say it."

"Do you miss your dad?" he asker her.

Brooke opened her mouth and then closed it. This was a question she had never thought she would hear. "Yeah," she said softly. "I miss him."

"So we can miss them together," Jamie suggested. He looked sad and it killed Brooke to see him like this. "Daddy doesn't want to do it with me."

Brooke took Jamie's small hands in hers and held them tight. "I'm sorry, buddy. It's complicated."

"It's too complicated," Jamie stated, walking away from Brooke and throwing his basket ball into the hoop.

Brooke chuckled. "You have no idea," she said. "So what do you say we go downtown and get some ice cream?"

"Can we go to Kilwin's?" A smile lit up Jamie's face.

"Of course we can!"

"Can we ask Uncle Lucas to come with us?"

"I'll tell you what. Go get changed inside, and I'll call him and see if he can join us, okay?"

He jumped up and down before running inside. The first few days after Dan's death, he had been unusually quiet, and Brooke's heart felt lighter now that she saw him smile again.

She grabbed her phone and called Lucas. "Hey! Wanna get some ice cream with me and your nephew?"

--

Lucas, Jamie and Brooke walked out of the ice cream shop and down the street, towards the river front. Jamie had insisted on getting a big waffle cone filled with Superman ice cream to match his red cape, but the cone was almost bigger than he was.

"Uncle Lucas, when will you coach the ravens again?" Jamie asked Lucas while taking huge bites out of his ice cream.

"In a few weeks," he said. He had been suspended for ten games, and he still had four left to go until he could go back to the gym for good. "I hope you're keeping the team in check while I'm away, though."

Jamie happily nodded. "They say I'm going to be just like Dad when I grow up!" His eyes were sparkling, and Lucas saw something in his nephew's eyes that he had felt himself, a long time ago. "Do you miss playing?" Jamie asked.

"A lot," Lucas admitted, running his hand through Jamie's hair.

His eyes met Brooke's and he knew she understood. She had seen how miserable he had been after quitting basketball because of his heart condition.

Jamie took even bigger bites of ice cream and Lucas slowed him down. "Hey there, J. Luke, don't eat it so fast, you'll get dizzy."

He shook his head. "I want to super strong like superman so I don't miss Grandpa Dan anymore."

Lucas turned to look at Brooke. She smiled softly – sadly – and he knew what he had to do. "You know, Jamie, part of me does miss Dan, even though he did some really bad things," he said, half-truthful. He didn't miss Dan – only what he wished his father could have been – but Jamie needed to hear it.

"Brooke says Dad does too, but he doesn't want to say it."

"Well Brooke is very smart." He looked at her and she smiled, only this time it was a full blown smile. He smiled back.

Jamie stared at them. "Why are you marrying Peyton and not Brooke?"

Lucas almost choked. "Where did you get that idea from?" he asked him, at lack of words to actually answer his question.

"I heard momma and daddy saying you loved each other," he said.

Brooke looked at Lucas, searching for his eyes. She tried to guess how he was feeling. Finally, realizing he wasn't going to say anything, she kneeled down in front of Jamie and they stopped walking. "Uncle Lucas and I love each other," she told him. "But only as friends. Just like your mom and Lucas. 'kay?"

Jamie nodded and Brooke stood up. They started walking again, but something had shifted in the air. And she wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was exactly.

--

Lucas sat on the bench, staring at Peyton's drawing on the river court. The lyrics talked about feeling home again, feeling whole, free and clean. And yet standing there, these emotions felt foreign to him.

He had been thinking a lot about his fight with Peyton. He had turned things around in his mind a thousand times, trying to figure out where it had gone wrong, until finally he had realized that it wasn't about their fight. It wasn't about their fight at all.

He wanted to feel like this was something he and Peyton would get past, but he couldn't. He wanted to feel the way he had felt about her the night they had won the championship, but he couldn't. He wanted to feel like still he wanted to be with her forever, but even when he looked back at their night in Vegas and his proposal at Brooke's party, he couldn't. He just couldn't figure out why.

If he took an honest look at their relationship since Peyton had met him in the airport, a month ago, he couldn't ignore the signs that screamed that something wasn't quite right. If anything, the way he had felt in the light of Dan's death spoke volumes. It wasn't her that he had needed by his side.

He was happy and he loved her… but he wasn't in love. It was the sad realization he had come to.

He heard her car pulling up and soon enough she was sitting down next to him.

"Thanks for meeting me," he said.

She said nothing. "I'm sorry about the other day," he started, realizing she wasn't going to speak yet. "I'm sorry we ended up screaming at each other." He paused. "But I meant what I said, Peyton."

She nodded. She had intended to speak first, but when she had seen him standing there, looking at her drawing, she had lost her confidence. She stared out on the court. She wished she could erase her drawing now. Especially the comet.

"Why did you write all that stuff about me in your first book, Lucas?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Didn't you mean any of it?"

He sighed. "I did," he answered, trying to be honest both with Peyton and with himself.

"Did you really? Or was it just because I was there and I loved you, and you desperately wanted to feel like you had someone to hold on to? You life fell apart after Keith died, and you wanted to make sense of it all – and you did it by making sense of us. You said we were destined to be together, Luke. And even if I didn't say yes and refused to get engaged to you, it doesn't explain how easily you gave up and left me. Don't you think I also had a reason not to go after you? If you had given up so easily, then how could you mean any of it?"

She stared at him, her words hanging between them. She was slowly realizing that it was the first time she had been honest with herself about what happened in L.A. And the truth hurt.

It took Lucas a few seconds to process what Peyton had just said. And as her words swirled around in his mind, he felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time.

Clarity.

He opened his mouth, about to speak, but Peyton cut him off. "It's okay," she whispered. "You don't have to say anything."

He tried to move closer to her but she kept him away, her hand protecting her own space. "Don't," she pleaded him.

"Okay. But you have to know that I do love you, Peyton. I never meant for all of this to happen the way it did. I really thought this was meant to be. I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I hadn't."

"I know. I thought it was, too."

"Maybe it was easier to be together," Lucas finally said, "because it was safe."

Peyton nodded. "It's funny," she told him. "All this time, I thought I was waiting for you to come back to me. But now, I feel like I've been running away."

"From what?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything anymore," she confessed.

He stared at her face. She looked sad. "It will be okay," he said softly. "We're going to be okay."

She met his eyes. She wanted to believe him so bad. He put his arms around her shoulders, comforting her, and she let him. She stared down at her own hands and she knew what she had to do. "I'm gonna go now, Luke."

"Are you sure?"

She smiled through her tears and slowly took her ring off. She put it in his hand. "Yes."

--

Brooke threw her head back and laughed at Owen's story. He put his hands up in the air, claiming innocence. "I swear I didn't mean for it to happen," he said.

She shook her head. "Somehow, I don't believe you."

"You should. I was a nice teenager!"

"Says the bartender."

"Touché," Owen said, before finishing his glass of wine. He studied her face. "So when are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Whatever it is you've been holding back for a few days. I have to admit, it's not a very Brooke Davis move," he told her. "You usually don't shy away."

She smiled. "Trust me, I do sometimes."

"Alright. What's going on?"

"The adoption agency called. They said they are willing to let me adopt permanently."

She'd told Owen about Angie a while ago, and he had seemed really sincere when he'd told her he wished he could have met her. And yet she still hadn't told him about this. It was like taking the next step in their relationship and she wasn't sure she was ready yet.

"That's great," he told her. "When is it happening?"

"Not before a while. I need some time before I can think about having a new little person in my life again."

"Well, what I told you before still stands. I care about you, Brooke. I want to stay in your life."

"Thanks," she said. It was kind of nice to know she wouldn't be alone. As much as she had loved having Lucas around, she knew things would be different this time, what with him being engaged to Peyton.

Owen laughed as he was finishing his plate and Brooke looked up. "What?"

"I was just thinking, if it's a girl… the world is going to be in trouble."

"What do you mean?"

"Two Brooke Davis running free in this world? You two would definitely shake things up."

"I sure hope so," she told him, her eyes sparkling again. At the thought of having her own family, she felt a warmth that she had longed for all her life spread in her heart. She wanted to feel like she had earlier during the day, when she had been walking down the streets with Lucas and Jamie – like she belonged somewhere. She wanted to hold on to that feeling and never let it go.

--

The song I used in the title is sung by Adam Merrin.