Author's note: It wasn't intended that way but this chapter is the longest so far – I guess it is pivotal in a way, and so the muse would not stop pouring words into my head, and I wouldn't stop typing. And with this chapter comes the return of a dearly beloved character (or not, lol), which I hope you all enjoy because I love writing him.

Alright, 'nough said. Thank you for your support and encouragement and love and reviews. You own my heart.

Laurie

Chapter 10: Feel This

Feel this
Can you feel this?
My heart beating out of my chest
Feel this
Can you feel this?
Salvation under my breath

"What's taking them so long?"

Brooke walked from the door to the window and then back again.

"Relax, Brooke. Lucas said they'd be here soon."

She sat down next to Nathan. "I know. I just want this to be perfect for Haley, and it won't be unless she gets here in the next ten minutes."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "Yes it will. This is so amazing to begin with."

"You think?"

Nathan nodded. "Haley's going to be thrilled."

"You don't think she's going to get mad and freak out?"

He laughed. "Yeah, that too. But seriously? Thank you so much for doing this."

"It was Peyton's idea," she told him. "I just helped making it even more amazing."

"So it means that when Haley needs someone to kill for coming up with this surprise concert, you can walk out of the room safe and sound?"

Brooke smiled. "Yes, pretty much."

She got up again and looked out for Lucas' red mustang in the street. "So how have you been, without Dan around?" she asked him.

"Amazingly free. I can finally start living without his shadow following me around. Or at least, I'm doing my best to leave it behind."

Brooke nodded. She'd watched Lucas do the same for a few weeks now.

"So," Nathan began, "how have you been, without Victoria around?"

"Amazingly free," she told him. "But it's still hard to let go sometimes," she confessed as she stared at the people queuing outside of Tric.

"I know what you mean."

Finally, Brooke glimpsed a flash of red pass by in the street. "Oh my god they're here! Alright, go get Peyton – she's making sure everything is alright on stage."

Nathan did as she asked, and soon enough Peyton, Nathan and her were waiting for Lucas to come in with Haley. He had gone to pick her up at her house for a "fun night out" with all her friends and she had no idea what was awaiting her.

"Luke, please take your hands off of me!"

They all looked at each other as Lucas stepped into Peyton's office. He had his hands on Haley's face, trying to prevent her from seeing anything in the club – especially the stage that had been set up for her. Brooke laughed as Haley repeatedly slapped Lucas' arms.

"What happened to the blindfold I gave you?" Brooke asked him, repressing more laughter.

He shrugged apologetically as he finally let go of his best friend. "I couldn't find it in the car."

"What the hell is going on here?" Haley asked as she looked around at her friends. She found them all staring back at her with a smile on their face.

"Hi Tutor Mom!" Brooke said.

Haley stared at Nathan. "You were in on this too? What happened to the basketball game in Charlotte with Fergie and Junk?"

He shrugged. She looked back and forth between Lucas, Brooke, Peyton and Nathan. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?"

"Alright. Your album is done, we've sent your first single to the radios… but I thought we should do more," Peyton said.

"More?"

"Like a concert."

Haley backed up immediately only to find herself cornered between Lucas and Nathan. "No, no, no. I am so not ready for this!"

"Yes you are!" Peyton told her. "I know it's been a long time, but you are so good at this. And there's no way any of us are letting you walk out here anyway."

Brooke nodded. "You're singing tonight, Haley James Scott."

She shook her head. "I can't, I'm not prepared! And look at what I'm wearing! I can't go on stage like this!"

"Don't worry", Brooke said. She grabbed a hanger covered by a black plastic blouse and handed it to Haley. "I've got this covered. You're all ready to go, rock star."

Finally, Haley cracked up a smile, surrendering. She was scared as hell, but at the thought of singing on stage again, she felt an excitement she had forgotten she could feel. She turned to Lucas and hit him hard in the chest again. "I cannot believe you almost kidnapped me!"

"Ouch! Why I am the only one getting hit?"

They all laughed at him. "Alright. Haley, you're up in half an hour," Peyton announced. "Change your clothes, relax, and I'll be back when it's time for you to go on stage, okay?"

She nodded and Peyton walked out of her office.

"Haley, have Nate come and get me if you need anything, I know that hair of yours gets crazy sometimes," Brooke told her. Haley started to protest but she cut her off. "I'll see you on stage, Rock Star!" And with those words, she grabbed Lucas and left Peyton's office, leaving her standing alone with Nathan.

"I'm so happy you're doing this, Hales," he told her as he brought her closer for a kiss.

She smiled as she leaned into him. "This is crazy," she whispered. "But also really incredible."

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered.

"I'm terrified," she admitted. "What if I freeze and I can't sing?"

"You won't. And you know why?"

Haley shook her head. "Because this is what you're meant to do. And I know that five years ago, your music tore us apart… but it won't, not this time. And I'll be right by your side through all of it."

Nathan kissed her and she wrapped her arms around him. He had just blown away all her worries.

"Alright," she said, feeling calm again. "Let's see what Brooke wants me to wear."

--

Brooke let go of Lucas' arm as they left Peyton's office and he found himself instantly missing her touch. "This is so exiting!" she said, almost jumping up and down. He smiled at her; happiness suited her features so well.

They walked towards the bar together, making their way in the crowd of people that were already in the club. "I don't think I've ever seen Tric so packed," he told her as they sat down.

She smiled mysteriously. "That's because I extended the invitation to my acquaintances from New York. Let's just say that Haley is going to be in the spotlight tonight," she said, winking.

"It's a good thing she doesn't know," Lucas said laughing. Brooke laughed too, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She looked so beautiful he wondered how every guy in Tric hadn't already tried to approach her.

He was about to give in and just tell her how great she looked when Owen approached from behind the bar. "Hey babe," he said. They didn't kiss but Brooke immediately gave him her undivided attention, and Lucas involuntarily clenched his jaw. "Hi Lucas," Owen told him.

"Hey."

Brooke and Owen started talking but Lucas tuned their voices out. All he could see was her beautiful, smiling face, her eyes sparkling in the dark and her hair gracefully falling on her shoulders.

He wasn't sure when it had happened exactly. Was it when she had first shown up at his house with Angie in her arms, when she had comforted him after Dan's funeral, or a few days ago, when she'd come to him at the river court? He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when everything had changed, but somewhere along the line, he had started falling for Brooke Davis again.

And he was falling hard.

Where his feelings for Lindsay had been clouded by his past with Peyton, and his feelings for Peyton driven by his need to make sense of his life, there was a clarity to the way he felt about Brooke that left him breathless. It was like an evidence anchored deep in his heart and he wondered how he could have ignored it for so long.

He had slowly but surely realized it, when his heart kept on racing in chest whenever she came near him and he found himself missing her whenever she wasn't around. Suddenly, the unexpected visits to her store and the afternoons spent together with Jamie weren't enough. He wanted more – so much more.

His train of thought was interrupted by Peyton who had just walked up on stage and grabbed hold of the micro. The whole room immediately turned to look at her, standing in the middle of the musicians and their instruments.

"Hey guys!" she shouted. "Thank you all for coming out here! Our special guest tonight is giving her first performance in six years, especially for you guys… so please give it up for Haley James Scott!"

The crowd immediately cheered and clapped, welcoming Haley on stage. She was wearing tight black jeans with a bright, golden blouse that matched her heels. Her hair was pulled up and Lucas marveled at how happy she looked as she sat down on a stool, in the center of the stage.

Lucas saw her eyes locking with his brother's as she prepared to sing, and then Haley's voice finally filled up the room.

--

"She's amazing," Lucas told Nathan as he stood next to his brother.

Nathan nodded. He was so proud of Haley and how astounding she was up there, on stage. It made him fall for her all over again.

"It's so great that the girls did this for her."

Lucas let his eyes wander on Brooke as she was dancing with Peyton. "Yeah, they're pretty amazing too."

"I'm sorry about Peyton," Nathan said. "Haley told me what happened."

Lucas shrugged. He had thought he would feel sad about it, or bitter, but he just felt like he had finally figured out what he wanted. And it wasn't Peyton.

"Listen, man… Brooke has been through a lot. Whatever you do, be careful, okay?"

Lucas looked at his brother, astonished. Was he was that obvious?

Nathan laughed. "Yeah man, it shows that much. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out long before now. And given the way you've been following her every move tonight, I'm surprised she hasn't noticed it yet."

Lucas chuckled. "I've been trying not to let it show… but she's so beautiful tonight I'm having a hard time," he confessed. "I don't want her to think this is only happening now because Peyton and I are finally broken up."

"It's not?"

He shook his head. It was so much more than that. "I feel like it's been there all along – I've just been too blind to see it, or too stupid to let myself feel it. I don't really know."

"Well I'll tell you one thing: it's about damn time."

Lucas stared at his brother. How come everybody had realized how right this was this before he even had?

"I don't know what I've been doing, or thinking, all this time," Lucas admitted to his brother. "Now that I see her, all I can think about is how much time I've wasted."

Nathan said nothing. Lucas thought back to all the times his brother had tried to hint that Brooke was the one and he'd been too stupid to notice it. "Did you think she was the one for me all along?" he asked him, curious.

Nathan put a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "Listen, Lucas, I've seen the way you've always looked at Brooke. You never looked at Peyton that way – or Lindsay, for that matter. It's not hard to put two and two together."

"Why didn't I, then?"

"Because it's scary," Nate answered. "It's tempting to take the easy way out and in your case be with someone else, who's safer."

"But you didn't. You were always honest with yourself about the way you felt about Haley.

"And I'm damn happy I did. She and Jamie are everything I have."

Lucas watched as Brooke left the dance floor and walked towards the bar. He was only now realizing that all those things that Nathan had with Haley, he wanted them with Brooke. He remembered once telling Rachel that Brooke was the one for him, and he felt like he had just discovered that he had never stopped believing it.

He had never stopped loving her.

--

Brooke took a seat at the bar with Peyton by her side. "Tutor Girl is so amazing!" she told Peyton. "You did so great with her album."

"Thanks, but it was all Haley," Peyton answered. "I just helped making it come true."

Brooke grabbed the two shots Owen had just poured them after she'd asked him with a smile and handed one to her best friend. "To us," she toasted. "To being young and fabulous!"

Their glasses met somewhere in the middle and they both drank the shot. Brooke's face was still contorted because of how strong the drink was when her jaw dropped. "Oh my god!" she said, and Peyton looked at her strangely. "What?"

"Chris Keller."

"What do you mean Chris Keller?"

"I mean Chris Keller is here!" Brooke said urgently. She was going to just grab Peyton and get lost in the crowd to avoid him entirely, but Chris had already seen them and was making his way towards the two of them.

"Well well well," he said as he reached them. "If it isn't Lucas Scott's girlfriends getting drunk at the bar!"

Brooke cut him off before he went any further. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I heard Haley James Scott was back on the scene, and Chris Keller owed it to himself to come and see it with his own eyes."

"Well, we certainly wouldn't have missed him if he hadn't come!" Peyton answered with a fake smiled plastered on her face

He laughed. "Come on, admit it! You're glad I came."

"Why would we be?" Brooke asked him.

"Because I tell things like they are when none of you can figure out what the hell you want!"

For once, he wasn't entirely wrong, Brooke thought. But the truth was that seeing him only reminded her of painful memories, both of them involving either being let down by Lucas or letting him down, and she would rather just forget both of them.

Peyton was about to speak again and no doubt insult him or maybe slap him again when all of a sudden Nathan showed up and grabbed Chris by the collar of his shirt. Lucas was standing right beside him and looked equally pissed to Chris here.

"What are you doing here, Chris?"

"Nate! Been a while, hasn't it!"

Nathan did not budge. "Relax, okay? I'm just here to enjoy the music," he said, and Nate finally let him go. He'd had a flash of anger when he had first seen him, but he knew better than to get upset over Chris showing up. Besides, he had stopped feeling threatened by him a long time ago.

"Whatever you say, Chris. Just don't do anything crazy – this is Haley's night." With those words, Nathan walked away, but Lucas stayed behind. He felt the need to make sure nothing bad happened, because the truth was that whenever Chris was anywhere near Brooke, he felt a pang of jealousy he had never quite gotten over.

"Relax, Lucas," Chris told him. "I'm not planning on trying to kiss or sleep – again – with any of these girls – even though I know they're dying for me to!"

Chris laughed as he finished talking, and before he knew it, Lucas' fist landed right in his face. He fell back against the bar under the strength of the punch and stared back at Lucas in shock.

"What the hell was that about!?" Chris said while his hand reached for his own bleeding nose.

Lucas just shook his head and walked away. He wasn't sure what it was about, but he hadn't been able to help himself when he had heard the way Chris had not so subtly referred to sleeping with Brooke back in senior year. He realized that she was no longer his and he had no right getting upset the way he just had, but he had felt an uncanny need to protect her that wouldn't be ignored.

--

Brooke looked around as Haley stepped down from the stage. She looked so genuinely happy that it warmed up Brooke's heart to know her friend had finally gotten everything she wanted. Nathan launched her in his arms as she met up with him in the middle of Tric and Brooke smiled. They had both come such a long way and been through so much, and yet they had still managed to prove that Brooke had been right to believe that true love did exist. Even when life had gotten hard and things had changed, Nathan and Haley's love had remained the same.

Brooke looked away as her former roommate and Nathan started to kiss, and her eyes caught Peyton standing across the room. She was talking to a tall guy with dark hair, and given how animated she looked, Brooke guessed that the subject of their conversation was probably her latest purchase of an old, smelly disk from a long-forgotten rock band only Peyton could know about. She looked happy, Brooke thought, even though she still had a hard time believing it.

Everything had seemed like a blur ever since Peyton had told Brooke that she and Lucas were broken up – finished, caputo. How could it be, after everything that both Lucas and Peyton had made it up to be? Destined, true love, soulmates, and all those beautiful, poetic words. Lucas' words. And yet when Brooke looked at Peyton, when she really watched her, it seemed like she was truly moving on. Her Lucas-stealing face appeared to be long gone.

Lucas. She scanned the crowd, looking for his blonde hair and slender figure. He was sitting at a table alone, looking deep in thought and doing what he did best – brooding. He was holding out his right hand, which he had used to punch Chris earlier. Brooke wondered what had gotten into him. She couldn't blame him for wanting to punch the guy, but if she was honest with herself, she had to admit she wasn't sure she wanted to know why Lucas had reacted that way. She was pretty sure she couldn't handle the answer anyway.

She sighed. The lines in her heart had been getting really blurred lately. She'd been getting more and more attached to Owen, and yet ever since Peyton had told her that she and Lucas were over for good, her heart had been wandering places it shouldn't have. She didn't want to let herself go there because Lucas and her were friends and nothing more, and she knew better than to think otherwise. But they had gotten so close lately, so open with each other, and there were times when she could swear that there was something else in his eyes – something more. And then she forced herself to come back to earth and realize that it wasn't a place her heart could go to. She wouldn't let it happen again.

"Brooke Davis."

At the sound of Chris' voice, Brooke considered plainly ignoring his presence, but she knew he would insist and make things even annoying. "Chris Keller," she answered.

"I always knew you'd turn out to be something great," he started. "And now here you are, the hottest designer in the whole country. And the hottest chick in the room."

"Gee, thanks Chris. I don't know how I would have made it through all these years without your unwavering faith!"

"You're welcome babe," he said, and Brooke laughed. He was something.

"Why are you really here?" she asked him.

He stared at her. "All of you may think I'm just here to mess things up," he said, gesturing to his black eye, "but I came for Haley. I came because I saw how great she could be and I wanted to see how far she'd come."

He sounded honest and Brooke almost felt bad for him. He'd always cared more about Haley than he should have, and a part of Brooke connected to that. She knew the feeling all too well.

"So, tell me something. Peyton and Lucas are not together anymore? I figured they'd be married by now and have kids or something. They seemed pretty tight that night in Honey grove."

Brooke couldn't help but flinch at the painful memory. "No, they broke up not long ago."

"You make it sound like good news."

And now Chris was starting to get on her nerves. "Listen, Chris, don't get all Dr. Phil with me, okay? Peyton is my best friend, and if she decides that her happiness doesn't lie with Lucas, then I'm happy for her too!"

"Wow, back off, tiger. I was just stating the obvious!"

Brooke was about to speak again when she realized that she was way too much on the defense. It didn't help that Lucas had been staring her way for a few minutes now.

Chris looked at her and then at Lucas, and back at her again. "Seems to me like you have a reason to be happy about it."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Chris."

"Really? I seem to remember you telling Chris Keller during the glorious night that you spent with him that Lucas was the one for you. And if you ask me, it looks like you haven't changed your mind."

"Well nobody asked you anything," she told him.

"Fine, fine. But just think about it," he said, getting up and grabbing her glass. He drank it up. "Chris Keller is always right."

--

The song I used for the title of this chapter is sung (in case you didn't know) by Bethany Joy Lenz.

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