In this chapter I've played it in my mind that Mac has lost some of his respect for Justice. As you will see he looks at things differently ever since his episode with Clay Dobson. No longer can he remain by the book. Not since the Internal Investigation that he felt almost destroyed his character. Once again, thanks for all the FB on this story.

Chapter 14

When Mac arrived at her place he knocked. After getting no response he opened her door with her key. Walking in he found it empty.

"Where the hell is she? Danny said she went home."

Sitting on her bed thinking, it hit him. Cold it be she already concidered his place her home?" Locking her door he ran over to his place. Unlocking his door he found her in the bedroom sleeping with tears in her eyes.

Walking over to his bed he woke her.

"Stel, wake up love. Stella?"

"Mac? What are you doing home?"

She had said it. Not only did she concider it, she had already accepted it. Smiling inside he helped her sit up.

"I came to make sure you were okay. Danny said you were sick. What's really bothering you Stella? You've been quiet since I opened the Sanchez file."

Tearing up again Mac knew she wanted to really talk. But he could also tell she was afraid. Afraid of being judged. Watching the emotions across her face, he slowly came to realize that she wasn't as strong as he thought she was. He could see the vulnerbilty within her.

Sitting beside her he took her into his arms and rocked her. Just allowing her to know that when she was ready he would listen.

"When I was working the Sanchez case, I found out from my foster parent that Mindy was being molested by our foster father. When I heard the story unfold how Mindy was treated I felt so much pain, so much hurt that I know she must have suffered those days we went to his theater. Searching for Mindy I found her under the name of Veronica Page. I went alone that night to see her, to talk to her, to...to...."

"To what Stella?"

"To help her flee New York. I told her she had till the follow day then I would be coming back with my badge. Now do understand Mac? Now do you understand why I don't want this case re-opened? That bastard molested her over and over. I can imagine how many days she must have suffered while I sat in that theater as he came to take her away upstairs. I had to let her go Mac, I had to give her something back."

Silence could be heard throughout the bedroom. Not so much as a breath could be heard. Unwrapping her from his arms he walked over to the window and looked out over New York. God how she wished he would say something, anything.

"You know. We all took an oath for the badges we carry. We all promise to serve, to protect. It's our job not to compromise evidence, not to do anything morally wrong. At another time Stella I would have suspended you or even fired you for such an act. But now. Now I don't think I would. You know why Stella? That day on the roof with Clay Dobson. That day he urged me on to fight him, my only thought was to bring him down my way. I realize now I was wrong. I realize that because of my behavour I ended up wrapped in a Political whirlwind of needless aggravation.

I mean all I had to do was keep him at gunpoint till Don and Danny arrived to back me up. But no, he grabbed my cuffs, cuffed himself and threw himself off the roof. Leaving me to look guilty of killing him. Then that night walking home alone. I remember that father pointing that gun at me. Telling me with tears in his eyes that it was my fault his daughter would never be found because I had killed Clay. So much pain I seen in this fathers eyes as I managed to talk him down and hold him while he cried in my arms.

So much has changed Stella. Nothing is as it was two years ago. So many consequences for acts that we've all done and kept hidden. I mean that day with Adam when he told me about handing the information over to Don about his sister instead of to me, I could have brought him down for that. But I didn't, couldn't. For he was doing what any one of us would have. So I let it slide. Sometimes in life we have to make mistakes to balance out the Justice of it all.

Stella could see Mac was still upset. As she went to get up he started again.....

"But you know what hurts most Stella? You know what hurts the most right now at this minute?"

She wasn't sure she wanted to know. She wasn't sure she was ready to hear.

"The fact that you didn't trust in me enough to tell me why you felt this strongly about the case. Why you didn't feel you could trust me to help you through it. That's what hurts Stella. Not having your complete faith and honesty in us. In our relationship, our friendship."

Looking at her with sadness he walked out leaving her to his last words.

tbc....