Chapter 24

"Why do you want to go back there?" At first he was a little alarmed by her request. What would possess her to want to see the place where she almost died?

"I have to see it, face it. That is the place where I almost left this life and abandoned you...." The shadow that crossed his face, showed how close her words hit home. "Johnny, it's alright. It's OK to feel that way..." She reached up to hold his angular face in her hands, allowing him to feel their warmth.

He closed his eyes, willingly his jaw not to tremble at the memory that accompanied her words. His will was strong but his emotions were stronger, the tears once again welled up in his troubled eyes. With the exception of one other person, he would have never allowed himself to show the inner workings of his soul to anyone else but her.

"What makes you think that? I mean....you didn't choose to be injured...." He was constantly shocked, yet intrigued by how she seemed to be able to read him, his emotions and inner most thoughts.

"No, of course not but that doesn't mean that you can't feel that I would be leaving you alone...." She moved her hands down to his chest, resting against his heart. "You know the saying 'the eyes are the mirror to the soul'? Well, there is a lot of truth to it." He took her hands from his chest and held them tightly, his eyes cast downward.

"I just don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you....I honestly think it would kill me...." His voice was barely audible as he made his confession.

"Well, if I have anything say in the matter, you won't be finding out anytime soon. Will you promise me the same?" Her slender fingers gently pushed his chin up, forcing him to look into her eyes.

"That is one deal, I can keep." He thought once again about how Joanne must feel every shift that Roy goes on.

"Alright, now as soon as Dr. B lets me fly the coop, will you take me?"

"Only if he says it's alright!" Since both of them had certain traits in common, he was going to make absolutely certain that she followed Kel's orders to the letter.

"OK, Mother!" She was relieved to see some of those clouds roll away. He had suffered a whole different kind of trauma this week.

It was almost three weeks that she spent at the Rampart Hilton. As soon as she regained consciousness, she was assisted in and out of bed several times a day, and given a walker to start moving around. The physical therapist came in four times a day to get her to do several different exercises and stretches. This was to regain flexibility and keep her stamina up. It also helped to prevent other complications. Her lower chest was taped up to allow the fractures to heal, since the breaks were in the lowest ribs, surgery was deemed not necessary. The sternum was wired together to allow it to heal correctly.

Then came the day that Wolfie thought would never arrive, homeward bound it was. Johnny of course was there to pick up her. What she didn't know is what was awaiting her once she got home.

He had finally gotten back to his regular shifts after the first week. As much as she loved him, she needed her space. He was hell bent on watching her every move, which was driving her a little batty.

"So you finally got sick of the room service?" Dixie couldn't have been happier to see her friend leaving.

"Well, to be honest, it was only a 3 star experience. Maybe you could work on that?" Everyone had been wonderful, always making sure she was in good spirits. Dixie of course was her favorite, very much like a sister that she never had.

Drs. Brackett and Morton walked up to bid farewell to their favorite patient. "Hey Docs. I have been told that you billed extra for the house call to the canyon. So what's the damage?"

They exchanged looks, as if they were consulting on a case, then Kel simply stated, "How about some of your Pennsylvania Dutch dishes at one of your famous cookouts?" She had no idea how soon she was going to see all of them again.

"So I guess your gonna spring her now?" Johnny and Roy came strolling up.

"Yes, Johnny you can take her, we kinda sick of looking at her." Morton fiend a look of horror when A.J. swung at him.

Johnny had asked Roy to come with him because she was still insisting on going back to the site of the crash. He felt more secure having him there just in case. He was trying not to be smothering but coming so close to losing her had him in a state of hyper vigilance. He had checked with her, to make sure she was OK with it. She trusted Roy, if she had an emotional reaction; she was comfortable doing it in front of him.

Brackett had OK'd it saying he preferred she stayed in the wheel chair, instead of walking on the crutches. She was told to walk around with them and use the chair when she became fatigued. She had to continue the exercises at home.

It was a nice drive, the weather was beautiful. To anyone else, it would have been serine and peaceful. However for the three friends it was an anxious time. None of them had returned to this spot since that fateful day.

Johnny pulled over at a parking area; this area was actually a hiking trail. There was different sections of the road where there was cut outs for people to park. Then Roy got the wheel chair out and Johnny assisted A.J. in getting out of the car. In actuality, he simply kept his hands close, in case she started to fall. She was mobile enough to do just about everything on her own at this point. They walked pushing her down the road, each step bringing them closer to their destination.

She took in the panoramic view; the sky was a brilliant blue and the sun a shimmering red. Then scanning the area she took it all in. Of course the stains of blood were gone, as was the littering of supplies and the corpse of the squad. Her friends and Johnny had feared that she wasn't going to be able to handle the sight of it all. It turned out to be the exact opposite.

She looked up at her protectors; they were just as in awe of it everything as she was. She took their hands in hers and said a prayer. The weight of that day was lifting from her spirit. Both her and Brice made it, all because of their friends, friends who stopped at nothing till they found them.

Johnny was brought to tears once again, only this time he was happy with himself because he kept them from falling. He had spent the last few weeks crying, intermittingly for no reason at all. Somehow he managed to break down when he was alone, or if only Roy was present. He now shared common photographs in his mind with Roy. Ones of her crumpled body, so battered and cold. Followed by her going into cardiac arrest three times, before they even got to Rampart. However he could now understand why she had to return. All of them involved had to cleanse themselves and not allow it to haunt them. That is the difference between victims and survivors, survivors allow their better angels to battle with their lesser demons, never giving up the fight.

"Do you believe in angels?" The question was for both men.

"I always liked the idea of something watching over me and my family, so I guess I do." Roy was wondering where this was coming from.

"Yeah, after so many years in this line of work, it is more comforting to believe that, I think." Johnny had the same questions as Roy.

"Remember the warehouse fire, when we first met?"

"How could either one of us forget that?" That was the first time, something more than friendship had sparked in Gage.

"I thought that was it....I surrendered to it. Then I saw a brilliant light surrounding a woman. She motioned to me, I followed her and that's when I found those rotting floor boards."

Both of them had shocked looks on their faces, as she continued. "In the canyon, after I fell.....I saw her again. This time she showed me where the Bio Phone was...." She felt blessed to be able to open up and share that with them.

Taking in what she had told them, Gage and DeSoto were silent. They felt lightness with themselves, renewing a sense of faith, that they were not alone.