PART TWO
Lupin: Where did everyone go?
Tonks: Um, away. Look! My hair is pink!
Lupin: Huh?
Tonks: I LOVE YOU! I mean, pass me that pumpkin pasty.
Lupin: I can't be with you, Nymphadora! I'm too dangerous! I don't love you! I'm GAY!
Tonks: * faints *
Everyone: WOAH.
Lupin: Where the hell did you come from?
Everyone: We were helping Harry with his angst.
Sirius: That kid has problems. My godson sucks. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
Snape: Indeed.
Everyone: Snape? EWW.
Ron: You're dead.
Snape: Didn't you ever listen in potions, Mr Wesley? I CAN PUT A STOPPER IN DEATH.
Hermione: Why are you here?
Snape: For YOU, Miss Granger.
Hermione: Me?! EWW. That's disgusting, Professor!
Snape: You know you want me really.
Hermione: Okay.
Everyone: TRIPLE EWW!
Ron: Get your hands off my girl!
Snape: Shut your mouth, Weasley. You know that you really love Luna Lovegood.
Ron: Okay.
INTERLUDE
Sarah Palin: All this free love is disgusting. It's practically SATANISTIC!
Laura Mallory: FINALLY. Someone agrees with me.
Sarah Palin: Let's go and ban the Harry Potter books! I mean, as the governor of Alaska, I'm practically the ruler of a continent, so…
Laura Mallory: YEAH. Praise the Lord!
END INTERLUDE
Sirius: Where are Draco and Harry now?
Lupin: They're probably fucking each other in the back garden.
MEANWHILE
Garden Gnome 1: WOAH.
Garden Gnome 2: I didn't even realise that position was POSSIBLE.
Crookshanks: EWW.
END OF PART TWO
A/N: Any political or sexual comments in this chapter are JOKES, okay? I don't want any reviews saying stuff like 'Sarah Palin is trying to save our children from hellfire and gay sex is – well – GAY!!!' because I'm not interested. Relax. Just trying to avoid unpleasantness. I'm sure none of my readers would do that anyway, but I can't deal right now, okay?!