A/N: Guys, I changed my name. Used to be k a j i i n. Remember?

Well, I had a nagging urge to update at least one of my stories. And, amazingly enough, my muse cooperated for a while and allowed me to type this up, though it is a page shorter than I would have liked it to be. Unfortunately, as I started working on Of Pen and Paper and Pizza, Love, and all Things Troublesome, my muse ran off yet again, leaving me pounding the keyboard in frustration. I'm really sorry, guys, for not updating anything...I'm just having difficulty with prose lately. I'm actually more occupied with poems and lyrics.

I'll stop babbling now. Without further ado, eleven months past last Christmas, chapter three!

Disclaimer: Me? Own Naruto? Never!

Kankurou wasn't really having the time of his life as he sat on the Nara's couch and listened to Shikamaru's parents and Gaara talk about the Christmas tree. Honestly, he didn't know why they were talking about the tree. It was sitting right in front of them looking ugly as hell. Why couldn't they try to make conversation out of something more interesting….like the way the hot chocolate tasted vaguely similar to heaven? Maybe Yoshino could teach his sister how to make hot chocolate appetizing. Better yet, maybe she could teach Temari how to cook. And he knew Yoshino could cook. He could smell the food from the kitchen, and it sure as hell DIDN'T smell burned like Temari's attempt at cooking usually did.

So after claiming that it was actually he who placed the tinsel in such an elaborate design on the tree, he turned his attention to his sister who was seated beside him. Bad move. She was getting cuddly with her boyfriend. That was actually sort of odd, considering he never thought his sister was the type to…show a soft side. At least it was an improvement from how she acted at home in Suna. (Point blankly, like a demon intent upon making his life miserable.)

Well at least he didn't have anything against the Nara besides the fact that he pitied him for being stuck with his sister of all people. The genius was one of the few people he could actually tolerate, simply because Shikamaru was too lazy to fight back when Kankurou made fun of him. And, even though he would never admit it, Shikamaru did make his sister happy (and slightly less evil) and some weird caring part in the black hole that was Kankurou's heart actually cared for his sister. It was like love, but in that odd want-to-strangle-you kind of way. (But then again, that was the basis of the siblings' relationship.

He sighed and looked away from them. At least they were entertained. He, on the other hand, was completely and utterly bored. How long were Gaara and deer-boy's parents going to keep up this strained conversation? He didn't think they could comment on the glazed surface of the spherical ornaments any longer. Surely they were going to burst trying to think of what to say next?

Bored as hell, he once more turned his attention to the couple beside him, just in time to hear what Shikamaru had whispered into her ear. He vaguely wondered if Shikamaru meant 'ditch them to go to the bedroom.' So, with all the intent of embarrassing them, he remarked quite loudly, "I hope you guys are using protection."

That might have been a bad thing to say. Yoshino sputtered loudly into her glass of eggnog and Gaara turned sharply to glare at him. Needless to say, Temari narrowed her eyes at a dangerous level and shot him a look that quite frankly chilled his bones. Shikamaru didn't say anything. He merely slumped even further back into his chair with a furious blush on his face. Shikaku seemed to be the only one amused, as he was chuckling to himself.

Feeling nervous, Kankurou went on, "Er, you know, because I don't want to change any diapers in the near future?"

Temari made an odd hissing noise, her face red as she suddenly shot up with a grip on Shikamaru's arm. Kankurou had the distinct impression that his sister was refraining from going on a killing spree.

Yoshino spoke up suddenly, obviously getting over the shock of what Kankurou had said. "Where are you going, dear?" The endearment sounded strained, as if Yoshino herself wasn't exactly sure of using it.

Temari looked as if she had flinched from the word, but covered it up with a fake smile. "Outside," she said simply, already dragging Shikamaru out of the room. Only Kankurou had the grace of receiving the death glare she had sent over her shoulder.

"Be sure to wear a jacket!" Yoshino called out, and Kankurou heard a distinct huff of irritation from Temari before she slammed the door shut behind her.

He snickered. Even if death was most likely inevitable in his future, it was always funny to see his sister riled up as she was. Embarrassing Temari was the only way Kankurou could get back at her after being tormented by her constantly.

Gaara suddenly coughed, bringing Kankurou's attention to him. "Kankurou, go with them," he said in such a tone that chilled Kankurou. Instead of complaining as he normally did, he obliged and stood up because he actually valued his life.

"Oh, and Kankurou, be a dear and tell them dinner will be ready in twenty minutes," Yoshino said warmly.

Kankurou mentally shuddered. Now he knew what it was like being called 'dear.' Awfully degrading. He shrugged it off and walked towards the door. As soon as he opened it, he immediately regretted coming to Konoha at all. A blast of cold air shot through him, chilling his bones as he stepped outside and shut the door behind him. He was grateful for his outfit in Suna when it protected him from the harmful ways of the sun, but in Konoha it was thin enough for the cold to reach him fully.

He looked around for any signs of Shikamaru and Temari. They couldn't have gotten too far in only a few seconds, but he didn't see a trace of them. He stepped out into the snow, shivering as the frosty cold dampened his shoe. It was a horrible feeling, but he went on, walking across the yard and out onto the street.

Out of nowhere, something incredibly cold and wet hit him sharply on the back of his head. "Hey!" he called out, turning around to see Temari standing a ways down the road, one hand on her hip and a snowball poised in her other hand. Shikamaru was standing beside her, an amused look on his face.

"Hey, what? Stop hitting you with snowballs?" she called, throwing the other snowball at Kankurou. He tried desperately to duck, but Temari's aim was true. She hit him dead-on the center of his face. His nose stung as he tried to brush the snow off. Before he could even see clearly, another snowball, thrown this time by Shikamaru, hit him squarely on the nose.

"Oi!" he called, trying to lean down to scoop some snow off of the ground. A barrage of snowballs hit him this time. He fell backwards into the wet snow, feeling cold all over.

"Get your fat ass up and fight like a man!" Temari yelled, aiming another one at his face. This time he dodged, cursing, and jumped up. Only one thing was clear to him; he needed to find shelter to hide from his merciless sister.

"Not until you stop looking like one!" he called back, beginning to run down the road. He had to veer a corner suddenly to escape another barrage of snowballs. Thankfully, the road was a crowded market square where people were running around buying last minute Christmas gifts. He could easily blend in with the other people there.

With a snicker, Kankurou walked quickly into the crowd. He knew there was no possible way they were going to find him now! Those thought made him slow down from his trot and begin to walk almost leisurely. It wasn't as if they were going to spot him out of the crowd, anyway, so he might as well enjoy the decorations that were set up all over the place. Of course, he completely disregarded the fact that his outfit was unique and quite ostentatious in the crowd of villagers.

He stopped after a short while to admire the rather weird Christmas tree standing outside the Ichiraku Ramen Shop. A sudden tap on his shoulder made him spin around, fearful that Temari had found him. The grinning face of Naruto peered back at him.

"Hey Kankurou!"

Kankurou calmed down at the sight of Naruto.

"Hey, Naruto," he said, stepping away from the Christmas tree, happy that this particular person wasn't looking to kill him. "Merry Christmas."

"You, too, Kankurou." Naruto paused as a devilish smile appeared on his face. Kankurou quirked his eyebrows; what was that mischievous look in Naruto's eyes? "Sorry about this, but they promised me ramen!" he said before lurching forward and shoving a handful of snow into Kankurou's face.

"Argh!" Kankurou pawed at his face angrily as Naruto shot away laughing like a mad man. He knew he shouldn't have trusted the stupid blond! The familiar laughter of his sister rang through his ears as the banshee herself jumped off the roof of a building and landed in front of him. Shikamaru appeared beside her a second later, a lazy grin on his face.

"So, Kanky, what was that about me looking like a man?" she asked as she stepped forward with a smirk growing on her face. Kankurou knew that smirk. It was the same one she used when she knew she was overpowering her opponent. In one desperate, pathetic attempt, he tried to flee.

Bad move. A shadow darted towards him and he knew instantly it was the Nara. He was trapped, looking to all the world like a fool as he stood in the middle of the street, his shoulders slumped and his hands by his sides in an attempt to find nonexistent pockets. He could only wish that the shadow-punk didn't make some stupid pose and force Kankurou to copy it.

He fully realized what a bad position he was in as he looked ahead at the malicious thing that unfortunately was his sister. An odd feeling told him he as about to get pummeled by snowballs. But all he needed was an escape! Something to distract the shadow punk so the jutsu broke! Something…Anything! In a flash of brilliance, he remembered Shikamaru's odd fear of Yoshino and he chuckled to himself. He had a plan.

"Oi, Nara," he called.

Said Nara flicked his vision towards the puppeteer but otherwise showed no sign of having heard him. Kankurou went on regardless.

"You're mother told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in twenty minutes."

Shikamaru shrugged, then, still listlessly staring ahead of him as the she-devil beside him looked on at their conversation in agitation.

Sorry, sis, but no blood-shed today, Kankurou couldn't help but think in his mind.

"But that was fifteen minutes ago. You now have five minutes to get home—"

He didn't even finish his sentence before the jutsu was cancelled. Snickering, he stepped away quite a distance and watched as Nara grabbed Temari's wrist frantically.

"Come on, we need to get home!" the puppet-boy said urgently, beginning to pull her forward, obviously fearful of the wrath his mother would bring upon him if they were to be late to dinner. Kankurou used this distraction to dash from the scene, listening to the sounds of Temari yelling in this distance as he ran further away.

In a matter of minutes he found himself at the Nara's doorstep. He was in an entirely different predicament than before when he first arrived. Then, he hadn't wanted to step foot inside the dreaded place, but now he was perfectly content to open the door and walk into the warm home. He knew under the watchful eye of Gaara (and possibly Yoshino), Temari wouldn't try to kill him. Or, at least she wouldn't be as successful.

a/n: Next chapter, if ever: Nara Shikaku's POV.