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L.D.S.K

I'm back from my visit to my home town. It was good to get away for awhile and see my family. Aunt Gina wanted to know everything about my so called love life. Uncle Charlie wanted to hear all about work and the team. He really likes Hotch even though he's never met him. Anytime I talk to him, Uncle Charlie wants to hear about the latest bad guy Hotch has caught, using what Uncle Charlie calls "that profiling nonsense." I have to remind him that it's not just Hotch, it's the whole team. Uncle Charlie thinks that profiling is a step away from witchcraft, and if the team isn't careful, they might get burned at the stake by some throwback to the seventeenth century. I keep telling him that it isn't hocus-pocus, and that it's based on psychology and precedent. He just smiles at me.

My aunt wanted to know if I have a new boyfriend. I didn't want to tell her about the dating woes I've been having. I certainly wasn't going to tell about going out with Reid. She knows about him because of all the talking I do about the team, but she doesn't know about the date and I want to keep it that way. I can't stand to hear her ask me why I chased off another man. Does she think I do it on purpose? I'm just looking for the right one!

Anyway we had the barbecue like I said we would, even though it's nearly November. My Aunt wanted to know if I'm coming back for Thanksgiving and I had to tell her for the fifth time in a week that I couldn't guarantee that I could come back home. She just doesn't want to face the reality of the job. I wish she'd understand how important it is to me. She says she does, but she doesn't want me to get hurt running all over the country with "those profilers," as she puts it.

The day after I got back from my visit we got a case in Des Plaines, Illinois. Hotch called the killer an LDSK or Long Distance Serial Killer. This guy was wounding the people he shot, instead of killing them. One of the victims did die and they had to take a bullet out of one other victim. Hotch said that no LDSK had ever been caught with a profile, and I think that made us all wonder if we were going to find this guy.

I overheard Morgan and Elle talking about Reid failing his firearms certification. Morgan gave Reid a whistle in case he needed help and I thought that was a little insensitive. Not everyone is a good shot that's in the FBI. I think Reid takes too much to heart though and tries too hard to be like Hotch or Morgan. I guess we don't help him be himself when we tease him so much.

We got to Illinois, and were working with the police to try and figure out how the un-sub was shooting without being seen. Gideon and Hotch decided that we should go back to the last crime scene and try to figure it out. All we did was get a police officer killed. I still can't believe that we were out in plain sight and the guy just executed a police officer. I mean, one minute I'm walking and talking to Gideon, and the next he's pushing me down on the ground. I know that things can be dangerous in the field, but my heart was pounding so hard at the moment. I thought I was going to pass out.

The team was pretty depressed after that. None of us want to see a fellow law enforcement officer get killed like Scott McCarty. It made me realize what could happen at anytime. There were several more people hurt that same day before Garcia got the geographic profile nailed down. Gideon and Hotch were the first ones to realize that the guy worked in a hospital.

We thought it might be the doctor that took the bullet out of one patient's back. He's the most arrogant jackass I've ever met in my life. It didn't surprise me that the guy drives a two seat Maserati. I've dated guys like that. Notice I say that in the past tense. It never lasts for obvious reasons.

Anyway, it wasn't that guy; it turned out to be an orderly named Philip Dowd. He held the ER hostage along with Spence and Hotch. That was the most nerve wracking part of the day. I was really worried about both of them. The SWAT commander wanted to send his guys in and Gideon was trying to talk him out of it. I thought for a couple of minutes that Hotch and Spence were going to be killed in the crossfire.

It's funny the things that go through you mind when you think you're going to lose two friends. I suppose it might be like your life flashing before your eyes when you die. All I could think about was all the time spent together on the plane after a case when everyone is winding down. I kept thinking that I might have to board that plane without Hotch and Spence, and I didn't think I could take it after what happened in Boston.

But listen to me, going on like this is all about me. It's not; it's about a madman with a gun and two agents that stopped him. Reid shot him… Did you know that? I guess he doesn't have to retest for his qualifications now. They got Dowd at the last second before the SWAT team was going in and we were all so relieved. I remember the look on Gideon's face and I was glad he didn't lose Hotch and Spence. I think that would have been the end for him.

Spence looked bad when they came out of the ER. He looked like someone had beaten him pretty badly. I found out later that Hotch had to beat him in order to make their plan work to get Dowd. I know it really hurt Hotch to have to do that, despite Spence telling us that it wasn't that big of a deal.

Maybe Spence is a stronger person than I thought. I guess I should stop treating him like a human computer and more like a real person.

We all came home on the plane. No one was lost on this mission. We could have lost two though, and I think we all realized that in one single moment.

Well… it's late. I'm tired and I have to get up early and get going on the next case. If I can't get time off for Thanksgiving, maybe I'll make it Christmas. Everyone needs their family in this job. I wonder if Spence will go home for the holidays this year.