Petunia and Dudley looked up in shock when they got off the bus at the school. Harry had told them it was a castle but some how they had never really believed it. This was incredible. Carlos, who they were told was the father in law of Harry's adoptive brother, led them through the gates and towards the school. He explained while they went that most muggles when they looked were only able to see ruins but because they had been told they could actually see it.

Petunia was shocked when she saw a ghost as they entered the grand entry way. "Do many muggles come, or allowed?"

Carlos smiled. "Harry is not the only muggle raised student here. Of course their parents are allowed to come for certain events like grad. Or if their child is sick."

Reminding his mother that Harry's best friend was a muggle born as they called them he was in much shock as his mother. If their concern had not been for Harry they'd have actually wanted to look. So much had changed since the days when Harry had lived with them. She was even to wed a squib. Tom had sent his love.

They were led into the infirmary and she saw a few of the red heads as well as Harry's new family. He was out. "How is he?"

Severus watched her as she bent and kissed his head. "He woke up but the news about the baby upset him too much and I had to sedate him again."

Looking down at her nephew her heart was aching for Harry. Harry had not known but Petunia had suffered a miscarriage a year before Dudley, a little girl. She still had the ultrasound photo that had been taken a week before she lost the child. She felt a pang for her nephew that he had not been far enough along yet to have had an ultrasound and he would never even have that.

Dudley sat down next to his cousin but looked at Severus. "Do you guys know if it was a little boy or girl? I know he could not have an ultrasound yet."

Draco answered for his godfather who was paler. "A little boy, James Sirius Snape. Madam Pomfrey was able to tell the gender when the baby came."

Of course Petunia knew the meaning of the name. She had never met either man but Harry had told her the name of his beloved godfather. She had also remembered seeing his picture on the television when he was believed to be a criminal on the run.

A strict looking woman in robes came in. "Mrs Dursley I am Minerva McGonagall, headmistress here. We usually don't allow it but rooms have been made up."

Petunia shook her head. "Either Petunia or Miss Evans, I dropped my ex's name as soon as I could. And thank you. I'd really like to be with Harry through this."

Even Dudley had gone to is mother's maiden name for neither of them had wanted to be associated with the monster who had brutally raped Harry and had tried to prostitute him out. Petunia would take Tom's name when she wed but Dudley would remain an Evans. He was eighteen and too old to take his stepfather's name he had said though Tom would have been happy to give it to him.

Minerva sighed. "The rooms are right down the hall. There is a painting of an elf and the password is Dobby. I am sure someone will show you when you're ready."

Severus looked up when Minerva placed some flowers on Harry's bed side table, two sets. "What are those from?"

Minerva smiled. "Harry's two quidditch teams. They heard after the game what happened to their coach. They sent the flowers and their condolences."

Today had been the first game of the quidditch season Severus was reminded and both Slytherin and Gryffindor had played. He had sworn Minerva not to tell the school until after the game. He knew Harry would have wanted his teams to play today. Harry would not want the game ruined by him being in the hospital. Severus forgot all together until now and for a half second wondered what team had won but shook away the thought.

Minerva turned to leave. "I would not be surprised if by tomorrow the room is full of them. The entire school was in shock to learn about the loss."

Lucius squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Thank you Minerva. Perhaps have them sent down to our apartments instead. I don't think Harry could handle that."

Already in bad enough shape over the loss of the baby, they were not sure having a room filled with condolence cards, flowers and gifts was to be any comfort or help for their son right now. With some time he would be grateful for everyone's love and thoughts but it would be just too painful of a reminder of the baby right now.

Minerva called to Severus. "The snakes won the game, with a move Harry had taught his replacement seeker. They wanted me to tell you both that."

Severus did not look up from his husband. "Tell my house I am proud of them as will my husband when he recovers. And thank them for the flowers."

Petunia and Dudley staved with Harry and his family for a few hours but they grew hungry and tired though they could not bring themselves to ask anyone. It was one of the young men who they had met at the wedding, who came to their side.

Blaise looked at them. "I will take you to your rooms. A house elf will be happy to bring you some food."

Petunia stood with Dudley and followed. "You are the son of the man who came to collect us aren't you? We met you at his wedding and birthday."

Blaise nodded. "I am. I was housemates with Harry and was married yesterday afternoon to Harry's brother Draco. We were away for a honeymoon weekend when..."

Thinking of her own coming wedding she could only imagine finding out this news on your wedding night. Knowing Draco from Harry's letters and the few times she met his family, she was not at all surprised though he had returned on his wedding night. Draco and Harry may have only been brothers for two years now but they were so close from what she knew, that most people would think they had been raised together.

Blaise lead them into a comfortable sitting room and Dobby appeared. "I be asked to help take of me master's family. Me be honoured to serve you."

Petunia knew this was the house elf who had got her nephew into trouble that summer with the cake. "I hope you have learned not to drop food on people."

The little house elf looked a bit sheepish at that and even Blaise managed a small smile. He had of course heard what had happened. Dobb was free and had no master really but he had an undying loyalty to Harry and he was not that shocked the little elf had assigned himself to take care of Harry's family.

Blaise turned to leave. "Harry will be out till morning likely from the last sedative. If he wakes before then we can send for you. Call Dobby if you need something."

Petunia nodded. "Thank you Blaise. And for sending your father to bring us. We really appreciate being able to be here for Harry through all of this."

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Severus was the only one awake though Lucius and Draco were both with him, Remus having reluctantly left the night before to see to their daughter, when Harry woke. He expected when he helped Harry with his glasses that he'd be as emotional as the day before but Harry seemed eerily calm.

Severus gently kissed him. "I am so sorry sweet heart. We will try again in a few months when you're ready. I am so sorry for this."

Harry drew back. "No. I won't. I can't. I won't allow another innocent baby to suffer because of me."

Pained shock flashed in Severus' eyes when he heard that. He felt guilt over his Death Eater days but Harry had nothing to feel guilt over. Harry had never done anything to be punished for by this. If anyone deserved the baby it was Harry.

Severus stopped him. "Harry the baby didn't suffer and you're not to blame. Our little boy was just not ready for life. Why would you think any of this is your fault?"

Harry was fighting the tears. "I am a freak and I deserve this. I killed my parents, I killed Cedric, and I killed Siri. I deserved this. The Gods punished my son instead."

When Harry had first come to the Malfoys that summer they adopted him Harry had voiced its but he had thought they had got through to him. They had thought they finally convinced him that none of it was his fault. But it seemed every time Harry had some happiness it was stolen from him.

He held his husband's hand. "Your parents and Sirius died protecting their son and godson. Cedric was murdered. No one is to blame but Voldemort, no one."

Harry shook his head. "I am to blame. Why else would I be punished? I don't deserve happiness. First my Uncle and then Dumbledore, my friends, now my baby."

How could he convince his husband he was not being punished for this? Harry had suffered so much in his life. It did seem like he was cruelly being tortured for some unknown sin. His Uncle and the others had been cruel sick people who had hurt him for their own cruel desires. The baby was just an unfortunate loss.

Severus needed him to understand. "We have talked Harry. You know they were sick. It isn't your fault Harry. You're not being punished for anything."

Harry held to his arms. "Then why was our little boy taken? Why? I don't even have an ultrasound photo of him. I have nothing left of my little boy. No name."

Remembering the death certificate and the name he added he wondered how his husband would react. He had chosen a name he believed Harry would have. He had wanted their little boy to have a name of his own even if he was in heaven. He had wished they could have waited till Harry woke but they couldn't.

Severus tried. "He did have a name my love. They needed one for the records. We couldn't wait till you woke. I named our little boy James Sirius."

Harry looked up. "You named him? You named our little boy without me? And for my father and godfather?"

Severus sighed. "It needed to be done in 24hours and I knew you'd want him to have a name. I chose the only names I knew you'd want for a little boy. I am..."

His apology was cut off by Harry. "Thank you Sev. I know how hard it must be to name your son for them. Thank you. My little Jamie."

Collecting his husband into his arms as his tears turned into full out sobbing in his arms. Harry had been given blood replenishers and while it would take weeks for him to fully recover and two months before they could try again, Harry was not as weak as before. He'd not sedate Harry again. Harry needed to actually mourn.

Petunia ad come in unseen and heard some of this. "Harry many of us loose a baby. I lost Dudley's sister a year before I had him. You deserved your little boy."

Harry was shocked to see her but fell into her arms. "How did you try again? How did you risk loosing another one?"

Sitting down and holding him close she tried to explain. She had felt like him. She had felt like she was not deserving of a child. She had been depressed for a long time before she had started to heal. She had not had anyone though by her side. Her husband had been working all the time and did not understand. Her parents had passed away and she had refused to contact her sister. She had no doubt Lily would have been at her side in a moment but she refused to call her sister.

Petunia made him look around. "See all these people who love you? That is why we know you're not to blame. You're an amazing person who so many people love."

Harry's hand went to his belly as it had done by instinct since he got pregnant. "I want him back Aunt Petunia. I don't care he made me sick. I just want my Jamie."

Petunia wiped some of his tears. "I know sweety and the loss never goes away fully but it gets easier. Your little boy will always watch over you and any others."

Sitting behind Harry Severus pulled his husband close to his chest and held him while his Aunt took him by the hands. They knew it would take time but they needed some how to reach through to him. They needed him to see this loss was not because of him. It was even harder to understand as there was no stress or signs before. Even with male pregnancies there was usually something to trigger it. If it had just been a malformed womb created by magic he should have had one much earlier on.

Severus kissed his neck. "We will try again but not till you're ready. We will be blessed with a little baby. And Jamie will watch over his sister or brother."

Harry felt his husband's hand on his belly next to his. "I don't know if I can. I don't think I could survive another loss. I wanted Jamie so much. If I lost another..."

The question of the miscarriage had been plaguing them all including Poppy. She did not specialize in pregnancies, especially not male pregnancies. She was a school nurse and this was definitely a first for her. Well Emma was her first technically but that pregnancy had only had one or two small bumps with a bit of spotting. And both times had been very early on.

Poppy came over. "I have a friend who specializes in male pregnancies and works at St Mungo's. He'd be willing to come and give you a check up."

Severus thought it sounded like a good idea. "Maybe this will not seem so senseless, maybe there is a medical reason. If there is perhaps we can get some help."

Knowing how much he hated hospitals and how fragile Harry was now they were not sure he would agree. But his desire to have a baby and his absolute fear of loosing another baby seemed to win out over the rest. Harry slowly agreed as long as he did not have to go to the hospital.

Poppy shook her head. "I spoke to John and he is willing to come here for you. He will come this afternoon and maybe he can find some answers."

Petunia squeezed his hand. "We might find out there is a perfectly good reason for the loss and it will help next time. Don't give up hope Harry, don't/"

Slowly the others started waking and pouring in and Severus and Petunia could both see that Harry was trying to be strong for everyone but they could see that he was seriously struggling. His husband's hand on his belly he never let go of through it. Severus didn't care, he would offer his husband what ever comfort he was willing to accept from him right now.

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Harry was anxious. He hated doctors and always had. He had only allowed Poppy and his husband as a medic near him usually. But John seemed friendly enough and he wanted to know if there was a reason.

After about an hour John looked up. "Harry have you been the victim of rape in the past?"

Harry paled and nodded. "My Uncle a few years ago."

Though e still hated talking to even his husband or dads about this and this was a stranger Harry was reluctantly convinced to tell him. He had no idea what this was about and what they could do. He was desperate for some answers of some kind.

The man sighed. "You received some internal bruising to your organs from the rape. No permanent damage but the stress on the organs will make pregnancy hard."

Harry was pale. "You're telling me that because of that monster I will never have a baby? No. No."

Holding his husband Severus' heart lurched. He had suffered so much damage to his own organs he had been told he could never have been able to have them. He had serious scarring. But the fact that Harry had got pregnant in the first place and carried as long as he had, gave him a glimmer of hope.

John confirmed the hope. "You have only minor scarring. There is surgery I could do that would repair the damage. You carrying this long gives serious hope."

Harry looked at his belly. "If I have this surgery you might be able to ensure that I do not have another miscarriage?"

John nodded. "With this kind of scarring you'd likely have miscarried right away or never conceived at all. I believe with the procedure you will carry to term fine."

Collecting his husband into his arms as Harry was crying again he knew it was a mix of both happiness, fear and still mourning as well. Harry could not believe after all the monster had put him through that he had helped cost Harry his first child.

John stood. "I'd say you should wait at least three weeks to have the procedure, until you recover more. But t is minor enough you'd only be in hospital a few days."

Seeing his husband was scared about a hospital Severus kissed him. "Remember this is magic and not muggle contraptions. And you know I'd be right there with you."

If there was anything that could make sure that Harry did not loose another baby they would do it. The pain of the loss was not gone but he hoped that Harry knowing that this was not his fault would help him heal. He could see that he was not being punished. The fact that his Uncle was the cause though did not help.

John stood. "I will book you in for the surgery for three weeks from today. You will need to come the evening before and you will have to stay about five days."

Harry reluctantly nodded. "Thank you."

When the man was gone Harry turned into his husband's arms and was not crying but he knew that his husband was battling such a mix of emotions. When Petunia and Dudley came in with the Malfoys Severus explained what they had found out and about the surgery.

Petunia paled. "Oh sweet heart I am so sorry that the monster caused you even more pain. If I am permitted at the hospital I will come be with you."

Harry shook his head. "He did that...I still have dreams sometimes...and now Jamie. Now my little boy."

None of them had known, not even his husband, that Harry still had dreams about the rape from time to time. He had thought Harry had been able to move past. To know their son's death was linked to that was just another cruel blow.

Remus kissed is son. "We will all be there for the surgery; your Aunt can come like here. And when you heal from both you and your husband can try again."